Soohyun/ Gahi's POV: 

As soon as I heard from Rebel and Yang. That we were going to do our annual trip to that cabin that we have gone to for the week of Christmas. And that we were leaving on Thursday the 19th, and they wanted us to invite our brothers for the first time. And realizing there would be a lot of us. I wonder how we would all fit in one cabin. 
But I was very excited, I called Sehun right after they told me. With a smile on my face. As Koda sat next to me, with an equally big smile. Sehun answered on the second ring only. 

"Hello, Soohyun?" 

"Sehun," I started. 

"What's up?" Sehun asked.

"So Hunnie. We have our annual cabin trip. To go snowboarding and sledding and such for the whole week of Christmas. And I was wondering if you wanted to come along with us?" I asked. 

I heard what sounded like a cheer.

"OF COURSE!" Sehun called excitedly. 

I smiled widely. 

"YEHET!~" I called. 

Koda shook his head and started laughing.
He couldn't help but smile widely slightly when he heard Sehun on the other side of the line.

"OHORAT!" I could hear. 

Jongho/Koda's POV: 

Time skip: 

 I signed as I had my older twins contact open on my phone. 'Jongin'. I breathe out and pressed the call button. I was surprised when he answered the second ring. 
"Jongho?" he asked. 
"Hey, big bro..." I said nervously. I wanted to hit myself when I realized how lost that sounded. 'Now he's going to worry. Great just great..' I thought. 
"Is something wrong???" Jongin asked worriedly. 
"Nothings wrong-" I trailed on. 'Why am I so nervous. This is my big brother for 's sake' I thought.
"I just wanted to ask- would you like to go to the cabin with us- It's our annual cabin trip. We will be going snowboarding, sledding or whatever for the week of Christmas...." I asked.
I was freaking out when I heard silence on the other side for a little. 
"Nini-" I trailed on. 

"Sure," I heard Jongin answer. 
Right as he said that I stopped talking to listen in. "Really?!" I asked, a wide smile on my face. 
Jongin laughed, "Of course," he stated.
Right before, I could go on whatever else I wanted to say he interrupted. 
"Before I forget-" Jongin started.
I was confused, but I let him go on without interrupting him... 

"How have you been? You haven't called me in a while," Jongin finished. 

I almost panicked, wondering how I was going to explain everything I was feeling on the phone, nevertheless. 
How I was going to tell him the feeling of numbness that I've been having, that even Gahi didn't know anything about. 
Gahi was going through his own load of problems, that I was scared I wasn't helping that much with. But he said I was helping by just lending my shoulder
for him to lean on. 
Normally I would run to Youngji with worries like this. But no matter how many times I go to his grave to speak to him, I could never hear him... 
I didn't know I was crying until I moved my hand to my face, my fingers wiping away warm liquid that was slipping down my cheeks. 
"Jongho-" Jongin trailed on. 

"Not that good -" I said. I tried to cover the fact that I was tearing up, and there were tears slipping down. 
"I thought you said you were feeling better?" Jongin asked softly. 
"I was! but then now...I don't know.." I choked out. I almost kicked myself when a sob broke through.

"Why didn't you call me earlier?" Jongin asked worriedly. 
"I didn't want to bother you-" I answered softly. 
"You would never bother me. Your my little brother, a twin at that-" Jongin argued softly. "Now what's going on?" He asked. 

"I don't know- my mind is a rumbled mess right now- from fear, sadness, and numbness," I answered. "I kept rewatching the tapes from the past, with Youngji, that Zimo Hyung recorded, And I could help but cry- and feel even more like . And I know whatever I do- it wouldn't bring them back- ever again- and that's what hurts the most- I looked up to Youngji Hyung since I was seven and now he's gone- for good-" I trailed on. to Listen to see if Jongin would say anything. But he didn't say anything. Even if I rambled too long, and the whole time that I was talking Jongin was silent, letting me talk. 
That was normally how it was. Jongin would listen silently to my ramblings.
"And I don't know whose shoulder to turn to anymore- I'm scared to let people in all the way- even you- because I'm afraid I would get left alone-" I choked out. Finally finishing my ramblings.

I heard silence for a few seconds. 
"You can turn to me, you could lean on my shoulder- I won't ever leave you alone-" Jongin gently said. 
Even if I knew that no matter what he would always have my back. Ever since we were younger, he has always had my back. 
"Really?" I asked.
"Yeah, I guess you're stuck with me," Jongin stated. he chuckled at the end.
Hearing his chuckle, and the slight joke he made, I couldn't help but smile softly, sometimes hearing Jongins laugh makes me feel slightly better.

Even if I claimed to be the older, to protect Jongin. Jongin was the older twin, who acted like he was years older, even though it was only by 3 minutes. But he still held it over my head that he was older. 

No one's POV: 

Time Skip: 

When we were at the cabin, Koda standing with his back away from the door when suddenly he heard a familiar voice in the back of his mind. Since he was paying attention to something. And didn't realize the voice was from right behind him. Calling out his name ("JONGHO") As he was almost tackled down by someone who was exactly his height. Only he didn't fall over, because he stood his ground somehow. Even though the other was pretty strong. He snapped out of his trance and was wriggling out of the person's tight hug when he heard the familiar laughter.  And one name popped up in his mind right away 'Jongin'. 
"Nini?" He questioned, as he looked behind. Sure enough, he was met with his older twins smile, the smile reaching his eyes. "NINI!" He called. He hugged his older twin in a tight bear hug. In which Jongin didn't really mind. He hugged his younger twin just as tightly. "Nice to see you too Jongho," He heard Jongin say, he can tell Jongin was smiling widely. 

meanwhile... 

From a few steps away from the entrance, Gahi was standing and looking around the room. "HYUN!" He heard a loud voice call. And he looked over to see his younger twin brother racing towards him. His loud excited footsteps echoing throughout the room, if not the whole vast cabin. He didn't have that long to react before he was suddenly tackled down to the ground in a tight bear hug. Given to him by his younger twin brother. "Hey baby bro," he said. 
"I Missed you!~" Sehun stated in a voice that told Gahi he was slightly pouting. As he nuzzled his face in Gahi's chest. Gahi rolled his eyes, but he hugged his younger twin just as tightly. "I missed you too Hunnie," he said. 

Back to Jongin and Koda... 

They were eating dinner, Koda was eating kind of slower than normal. He didn't notice that Jongin was staring at him and then at a confused Gahi who was also somehow watching Koda with a worried look on his face. 
"Ko, your eating slower than normal- Are you okay?" Gahi asked his best friend confusedly. 
Koda blinked and looked up, meeting eyes with his best friend of 22 long years of their life. But he still feels like it was just yesterday that he met the slightly younger. 
He noticed all of the others looked to him now, especially his older twin who was looking at him with worried eyes. Koda almost swatted his brother's hand away when Jongin put his hand to Koda's forehead as if he was seeing if Koda was sick..,

"You're not burning up though... Is something wrong?" Jongin asked him. Koda flushed red, out of embarrassment, because all the others were all looking at him now. 
"I'm fine-" Koda trailed on. 

"You eat faster than this Ko," Gahi trailed on. 
Koda wanted to strangle Gahi because nothing was going on. The only reason why Koda was eating slow. This is because of this the first time officially that Jongin is going on a trip with them. Koda is embarrassed to eat fast like normal in front of his big brother.  
Also, Koda has been scared that Jongin won't get along with Gahi. Even if Jongin has met Gahi over and over. Gahi and Koda have been best friends since they were toddlers, meeting when they were 4 years old. 

Koda signed, knowing Gahi won't let this go until he spoke up and said it. So he went out and said it. 
"I know I'm the fastest eater here... Normally I'm the first one done, even if I eat the most-" He trialed on. Wondering if he should go on at all. Cause it was kind of embarrassing to announce this in front of his big brother.
The others were silently looking at Koda, especially Gahi and Jongin. 
Jongin had no idea how fast Koda ate now, Koda picked up a fast-eating habit while being in Nineteen. 
"I never eat fast with Jongin-" Koda finished finally. 
He thought they were going to laugh when they first heard. But he saw a bunch of confused faces, as they all look among each other. Meanwhile, Jongin was looking at him with a raised eyebrow. 
"Why?" Gahi asked. Gahi's eyes never left Koda's, he still looked to Koda with a confused look, but Koda could see in his eyes that he wasn't going to judge Koda, he was just worried. 
"I know he's my brother- and I shouldn't be that embarrassed to eat fast in front of him- but this habit I picked up after I joined nineteen- and-" Koda trailed on. He didn't know how to explain that behind his mind he's scared that Jongin would be disappointed in the person he is today, that he would be angry at him. Why? he doesn't know... Jongin never had told him anything that showed him that he was disappointed. But Koda can't help but feel it. 

"Jongho-" Jongin stated gently. 
I signed, closing my eyes for a second. "For some reason, I'm always thinking you would be disappointed in the person I am today. So I act differently around Jongin-" he trailed on. Koda felt a hand squeeze his shoulder, in a tight but comforting and gentle squeeze. Koda blinked, he looked over to meet eyes with his big brother. 
"That's not true, Jongho," Jongin said. Koda almost jumped, when he felt Jongin softly ruffle his hair like he did when they were kids. He hasn't ruffled Koda's hair in a while. And Koda never admitted it, but he kind of missed the hair ruffles. It always comforted him... Especially when Jongin did it when he was stressed and feeling down. 

The last time Jongin did it was when they were teenagers, and Gahi was just leaving for New York, New York. And Koda felt down, that his best friend left South Korea, and he didn't know if he was going to come back. 

Jongin's fingers lingered in Koda's trademark midnight blue hair. 
"Really?" Koda asked softly as he kept his eyes on his big brother. Jongin smiled a wide friendly smile. "Yes, little brother," he said. 
And as Jongin said that, Koda could see the shocked look on the others face's when Jongin declared to be the older one. Expect for Mikey, Yang, and Gahi. 
"He never said himself that he was older," Mikey said.
"But it says in his profile-" Rjay questioned. 
"It's for Jongins safety-" Mikey answered. 

Koda didn't look to see anyone else's reaction, and he blocked their faces. He was to busy looking at his big brother's face. Koda nuzzled his closer to Jongin, as slightly older laughed and ruffled the youngers midnight blue hair once more. Before he stopped. 
"I will always be proud of you," Jongin stated. "Now come on you need to eat-" Jongin softly scolded. 
Koda laughed and went back to his last position before he nuzzled closer to his older twin. He went back to eating, but not before meeting eyes with Gahi who smiled at him widely, and the others had soft smiles on their faces. 
Koda can tell they would bring this up later when Jongin wasn't around. But Koda didn't mind, He missed his big brother a lot. 

Time Skip: 
    The Next Morning... at 9 am. When Gahi woke up, carefully looked over to the side at the other set of bunk beds in the room, and saw Sehun's bed was empty. But Gahi wasn't alarmed, because he knew his brother went downstairs already.  Gahi could see Jongin fast asleep on the top bunk
. Gahi carefully got out of the place, to look at his best friend, and Koda was sleeping facing the wall. Koda has always been a deep sleeper, and it looks like Jongin was too. 

"Koda," Gahi whispered. Slightly shaking his best friend awake, by the shoulder. 
Koda looked over his shoulder at him, a tired look on his face. "What?" he whispered back. 
"Aren't we supposed to go snowboarding?" Gahi asked in a soft voice. So he didn't wake up Jongin yet. Not that it would be that big of a problem. He slept through a lot of things. 
Koda got up fast, now wide awake as he froze. Koda was lucky the ceiling was high, cause he would have bunked his head. Gahi jumped when he did that. 
"NINI" Koda called out loudly. As he somehow threw the pillow straight at his older twins' face. 
Gahi ducked yet again when the same pillow was thrown back towards his brother almost right away.
"What the hell Jongho-" Jongin tiredly compilaned. 
"NINI!" Koda called yet again. As he gets down the ladder of the bunk bed. 
"Jongho shut up-" Jongin trailed on. 
"JONGIN!" Koda called out Jongin's real name instead of Nini, the nickname he usually calls him. 
"What?" Jongin tiredly groaned as he opened his tired eyes, to look at his younger brother. Who was sat upon his own bed? 
"Get up you loser! Unless you want me to leave you here while me, Ga and Sehun go snowboarding!" Koda called. 

Gahi watched as Jongin started to wake up more. 
"You wouldn't-" Jongin whinned. 
"I would if you don't get up!" Koda called. 

Gahi witnessed, a soft frown come on Jongins' face. As he got up from his own bed. 
"Alright Alright," Jongin mumbled. 
He got down from the top bunk also. 
Gahi smiled softly at the two of them as Jongin still frowned at his little brother trying to scare the younger of the two. As he softly punched Koda's shoulder. But Koda wasn't affected at all by his older brothers scare tactic. 
When Gahi got down the stairs, he was met with his younger brothers friendly wide smile. 
"Good Morning Hyun!" he called. 
Gahi smiled softly, "Morning Hunnie," he said. 

"What time did you get up?" Gahi asked as he sat down between his younger brother and his bestfriend to eat breakfast before they left to go snowboarding. 
"Not that long ago," Sehun answered. 
Gahi knew he was always the deep sleeper of the two of them, Sehun had always woke up before him all the time when they were younger.
"You still sleep in-  it looks like," Sehun commented. 
Gahi smiled, as he laughed, "Well I guess that will never change," He said with a shrug. 

Sehun laughed slightly at his brothers' comment about himself. 
"Considering all of the things that happen to you - I'm glad you didn't change most aspects," Sehun said. Gahi softly frowned when he noticed the saddened look in Sehun's eyes for a split second. "I wouldn't know what to do- if my big brother changed a lot-" Sehun finished with a soft voice. 

"I had you, Koda, and the others-" Gahi interrupted in an equally soft voice. He could sense the sad looks on everyone's faces when they saw Sehun's sad face. 
"You're not mad at me?" Sehun asked.
"Why the hell would I be mad at you for something not in your control?" Gahi countered and asked his younger twin softly. 
"But I wasn't there for you-" Sehun trialed on. 
Gahi signed that was a lie, Sehun WAS there. Of course, Sehun wasn't there all the time as he was when they were kids, and before Gahi moved with Nineteen. But Sehun was still there by his side even when he wasn't there physically. Gahi would call the younger when he was out of town or early in the morning when he had a nightmare that was really bad and Sehun would still answer. Sehun was one of his anchors, his light in the dark abyss. Gahi would have lost himself completely if it wasn't for Sehun. 
"That's a lie," Gahi interrupted. 

"But-" Sehun trailed on. 
"You've been there the whole time- even when you're not physically by my side you're there. I would call you when early in the morning and you would pick up no matter how busy you are. I could still feel your presence when you're not there. If it wasn't for you and Koda especially  I would have lost myself for good-" Gahi choked out the last part. 
He could feel a soft tight squeeze on his shoulder and looked next to him to see Koda was the one squeezing his shoulder. While next to him Jongin was frowning softly, as he looked worriedly at him. 
When Gahi met eyes with Sehun. Sehun looked at him with worried eyes, as he wiped something away. 

"Don't cry-" Sehun softly said. 
"You've been the light in the dark tunnel for years now Sehun- I wouldn't have made it without you-" Gahi interrupted. 
"You really mean that?" Sehun asked. 
"Yes - You're my little brother- would I ever lie to you?" Gahi asked. 
Sehun shook his head. He put his fork down, as he hugged his older twin in a tight hug as he nuzzled his face in his brother's shoulder. 
Gahi put his f​own fork down to wipe the tears that slipped down his cheeks. 
He felt comfort in the fact that Koda still had his hand on his shoulder. 
Gahi knew he was far from perfect. But he had people on his corner all the time. And it made things better.