Jonghyun blinked as he got up from where he sat in front of the balcony, the sun was well up above the horizon and it hurt to look at the bright light outside. His initial anger at Jinki storming out gradually faded out and was replaced with worry. Was Jinki alright? Was he hurt? Or had he been discovered by his fans and gotten swamped by them, unable to escape? Although Jonghyun wanted to go out and search for his husband, he was clueless as to where he would find Jinki. It made more sense for him to stay put and wait for Jinki to return back to him like he always did as they had promised each other. 

He slowly got up from where he sat and picked up his car keys as he had waited long enough. The mixture of worry and fear had tainted his heart so much that he felt as though he couldn't breathe or think about anything, except seeing Jinki again. He heard the key turn in the lock, his heart pacing, Jinki was home.

"Where were you?" Jonghyun asked, approaching Jinki "Are you alright? Are you hurt?" 

Jinki could see the weariness on Jonghyun's features, how torn his lower lip was from constantly chewing on it, as he worried. Jonghyun had stayed up all night, waiting for him to return. Jinki felt his heart fill with disappointment. He knew that he shouldn't have stormed off like that, but he was so angry that Jonghyun kept lying and wanting to hide the truth, when it was right out in the open, glaring at them. A night out with just himself, to think through everything, and temporarily escape his thoughts and reasons through the fog of intoxication that seemed to smother him. He knew why Jonghyun kept lying to him, trying to protect him, not wanting him to get hurt when it was Jonghyun who had been hurting all this time, and that one thought let the anger seep through his veins again. Disappointed and angered at his own failure and inability to see how much Jonghyun had been hurting for all this time. He stepped back, avoiding Jonghyun's hand that reached out to him. "Don't talk to me now." He looked at the hurt in Jonghyun's eyes at his words and felt his heart twist. "Give me some space."

"What?" Jonghyun said, feeling the anger that had simmered down below surge back. "You stormed out without saying a word, didn't answer my calls or my texts and now you don't want to talk?" 

Jinki took another step back, this was the first time Jonghyun had ever raised his voice. He sighed seeing the tears well up in Jonghyun's eyes. "I've had too much to drink," he said running his fingers through his hair, "I don't want to hurt you further with what I would say right now in this state. Let's talk after some time, okay?"

Jonghyun gave Jinki one look over and nodded, moving out of his way. He felt his heartbreak a little as he saw Jinki head towards their spare bedroom, but he didn't say anything. Right now,  staying away, giving each other some space was good. Not having Jinki around would give him enough time to think about what to say when he finally told Jinki everything. He was done keeping secrets.

When Jonghyun woke up, it was already evening. He pulled the blinds back, letting the faint sunlight in, painting everything in the room with a faint sheen of purple. He ran his hands over his face, preparing himself to face Jinki. When he stepped out of the bedroom after washing up, he found Jinki sitting on the couch, his legs propped up on the coffee table as he sipped from his mug, looking through a book. Jonghyun smiled when he saw a mug of coffee waiting for him on the kitchen table. Picking up his mug on the way to the couch, he sat down beside Jinki only for a surge of guilt causing his heart to race when he saw that Jinki was holding his manual. 

"Where did you find that?" Jonghyun sighed wearily, gesturing to the manual in Jinki's lap.

"I found it on the bed a few days ago. I guess you forgot to take it back to your lab with you." Jinki closed the book with a soft thud and placed it on the coffee table. He changed his posture so he was facing Jonghyun, "I am sorry I lost my temper last night, but that is quite a big secret you had kept hidden for a while now," Gestured to Jonghyun's leg, he continued, "I can't believe I never noticed anything. You must've been in so much pain". Jinki knew he had become busier with each new movie or endorsement and the time spent with Jonghyun had reduced drastically. He had never realized that he wasn't around when Jonghyun had to make such a big decision when Jonghyun had needed his support the most

Jonghyun set down his mug, moved closer to Jinki and caressed his cheek gently, "I should be the one apologizing, I should have told you everything and not tried to hide it. I was really scared and blinded by my obsession with setting things right. I should've told you everything from the start."

"It isn't too late, even now. Will you tell me what is going on? Why do you have a prosthetic?" Jinki asked, leaning into Jonghyun's embrace.

Jonghyun nodded, "Do you remember our last year of university? My last attempt to move ahead with my dissertation and research?"

"Yes," Jinki smiled, "It was a very wild year, you practically lived in your lab."

Jonghyun gave him a sad smile, "In my rush to get things done on time, I didn't pay much attention to anything other than my experiments, not even to the safety protocols and precautions." He paused briefly, choosing his words, "There was an accident in the lab" he said, biting down on his lip.

"What?" Jinki sat up straight, surprised. "What sort of accident?"

"I had mixed up a few of the solutions and grabbed the beakers to discard them, I didn't have my gloves on and those glass beakers were hot and I ended up spilling it all over myself. It seeped through my shoes too". Jonghyun sighed before he continued, "The mixture of metals in those beakers started to slowly degrade my nerves in the affected areas, I am losing their function. I was so scared," Jonghyun whispered at the end, his throat had tightened up. He let out the sobs he had suppressed when he felt Jinki's embrace around himself. "I am sorry," Jonghyun said in between sobs, "I should've told you, but I was scared you would not want me anymore and that we would fall out of love. I was afraid that you would hate me."

Jinki shushed him, fighting back his own tears, "I could never hate you, baby. I was mostly disappointed in myself that I could not see that you had been hurting all this time. I promised you that we would be together forever and you know that is one promise I would never break.". He kissed Jonghyun's forehead as he gently wiped away the tears that were trailing down his husband's cheeks.