Ai wo Motto
Untitled Oneshot Universe
Author:
kyouya3/kyouya-samaLength: One-shot collections
Pairing: OT5 (HoMin's Side)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst, Drama
Summary: A longing and hope through a song.
I knew I was strong now. I had to be strong because both of my so-called-parents had turned into crybaby after the split up. I mean, seriously, they eyes were like went Niagara falls for about few years after the lawsuit. Even now they still tore up by singing emotional songs.
I was consumed by hatred and anger after the split up. I could care less about everything. Practically I was acting like a child from a broken family. I hated it every time I remembered it. I was being unreasonable. I used to be the youngest one and I literally could be as childish as I could. I could be as Voldermin as I could. I loved it but now I needed to grow up now.
I had to be able to take care of my only remaining family member that was left beside me. Of course I longed for the ones I had separated from but I could bear it now. Everything broke up; company, lover, friend, even family. I finally managed to accept that. Now I had to prove I could do even better.
Enough with the flashback, I was in the middle of concert after all. I followed Yunho hyung into the stage as the cue was given. Then, the light shone upon us as the melody started. The song was titled ‘Ai wo Motto’. Yunho hyung was standing on my left side as he sang his first part.
この想いは どこに流れどこに辿り着くの?
Moshi sekai ni boku ga hitori dake datta to e
Kono omoi wa doko ni nagare, doko ni tadori tsuku no?
If I were a person who’s all alone in the world
He was singing it as he closed his eyes; I knew what he imagined. He was making his own illusion that the five of us were still there on the stage. It felt great, I knew the feelings. Then my part started as I did the same. There’s Jaejoong on my right, then Yoochun hyung, and lastly Junsu hyung. The audience couldn’t see them but we could as we closed our eyes.
今ここで 僕は誰のために笑い泣けばいいの?
Moshi sekai ni boku ga hitori dake datta to e
Ima koko de boku wa dare no tame ni warai nakeba ii no?
If I were a person who’s all alone in the world
Right now, right here, who would I smile and shed tears for?
I opened my eyes as I made sure Yunho hyung was ready to sing the next part. He did the first sentence as I followed with the second one.
Yorokobi mo itami sae mo wakachi atte ai ni kizuita
Sharing joys, or even just sharing pain, I became aware of our love
君のために生きることで 僕のすべてが意味を持った
Kimi no tame ni ikiru koto de boku no subete ga imi wo motta
Living for your sake is what gave meaning to my entire being
Yunho hyung sang the chorus as he closed his eyes again. I began to get worried out fans would realize how often we closed our eyes. Yet, his dramatic singing camouflaged his real intention.
悲しいこと 嬉しいこと すべてのこと 繋がるように
More love, more love, calling for more love here, in this place
Wishing that happy things, sad things, all things will be tied together
Ai wo motto ai wo motto ai wo motto koko ni yonde
Kanashii koto ureshii koto subete no koto tsunagaru youni
I followed Yunho hyung’s example; like a child imitating his father. I closed my eyes, seeing the five of us together again as I sang as deep as I could.
この世界に生まれてきて 良かったねと言えるように
Te wo nigitte te wo tsunaide kimi ga motto waraeru youni
“Kono sekai ni umarete kite yokatta ne” to ieru youni
Wishing that by holding hands tight, by keeping them linked together, you’ll smile more
Wishing that you’ll be able to say “I’m happy I was born in this world”
I sang the second verse and still closing my eyes. The sentences almost killed me. I couldn’t tear up; no way Shim Changmin was going to turn into crybaby again now. I had gone strong, I told myself.
僕の心が どこか消えてしまうわけじゃないよ
Moshi kono saki kimi wo hitori ni sasete shimattemo
Boku no kokoro ga dokoka kiete shimau wake janai yo
Even if after this I end up leaving you on your own
It won’t mean that you’ll have vanished anywhere in my heart
Yet, I couldn’t help but to look down on Yunho hyung’s part next. Yunho hyung was smiling brightly, yet, I knew he was crying inside his heart. He had to miss them so much, especially Jaejoong hyung. I knew how close those silly ‘parents’ of mine was.
そこにまだある 僕の愛に気づいてほしい
Moshi kono saki kimi ga daijina mono wo miushinatte mo
Soko ni mada aru boku no ai ni kizuite hoshii
Even if after this you lose sight of the important things
I want you to realize that my love still lives there, right next to where you are
We continued to sing the song till we reached the second chorus. I sang first and how much I wished the second sentence would happen someday in the future. I wished for it so badly. I caught a glimpse of tear on Yunho hyung’s face. I tried my best to keep the fan busy staring at me than Yunho hyung as I sang with everything I got.
君の声と 僕の声と 二人の声 重ねようか
Ai ga zutto ai ga zutto ai ga zutto hibiku youni
Kimi no koe to boku no koe to futari no koe kasaneyou ka
Always love, always love… so that love will resound always
My voice and your voice… shall we add up both our voices?
Yunho hyung’s part came as he sang it so emotionally. The fan had thought it was because of the melody and song meaning, yet, it described Yunho hyung’s feelings clearly. He put his hand out as he tried to touch the air. I knew he was sending his love to the others secretly.
この世界のどこまででも この愛が届くように
Ame no hi ni mo arashi ni mo tsurai toki mo makenai youni
Kono sekai no doko made demo kono ai ga todoku youni
So that even on rainy days, even during storms, even in painful times, we won’t be defeated
So that no matter how far you’re in this world, this love will reach you
I sang the bridge as my habit showed up. I was using my right hand to sign the high note and I managed to end it perfectly. I was closing my eyes so tightly as I sang the last sentence. I wanted to burn the image into my deepest soul so it wouldn’t disappear.
僕がここに生きた 君との日々は消えない
Katachi aru mono wa kawari ooku ga iroasete mo
Boku ga koko ni ikita kimi to no hibi wa kienai
Even if things with a definite shape change, even if many grow stale
The everyday life I’ve lived here with you is indelible
Yunho hyung sang the chorus again. This time the feelings got the better out of me. I could only look down as I was tapping my pants softly; trying to shake off the feelings. Then, I sang the last part of the song as my hands did the sign like always.
The song ended as the light began to be put away. I was thankful for the bright background so our figure would only be dark shadow from the fan’s view. Yunho hyung was wiping his tears as I took a deep breath. We managed to pull out another emotional performance. I knew we would be just fine; the five of us. I could be sure because even after we split up, we still received so many loves from many people. We would be okay.
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