i'm a loser basically. friends are nothing to me. i wonder how i even got ”popular” in the first place. it was my looks, wasn't it? society is a cold place. they only judge you based on looks and not personality. well, some don’t and it's pretty rare.

i give little smiles to my ”friends” and only giggle - not full on actually laugh. i find it funny how they say that i’m they’re best friend even though they talk behind my back. it's sad and i know it but i just pretend to not know. it's for the best, anyways.

”she’s cute and all, but she is a rat.” i barely even talk that much.

”heard she was gay.” is there a problem with that?

”such a .” you don’t even know me.

”hurry up and ruin her reputation, i'm a trying to get my spot back here!” i already heard this multiple times and i say the same thing in my head: ’its not like i ing want it you baboon.’

even being in a real relationship was hard. everyone here only wants me for popularity so they'll get recognized and then they ditch me after getting what they want. then guys come up to me just because they want that ”hEe-hEe” but i ain't here for that, sis.

there was only one person who catched my eye though. it was that girl who sat at the very corner of one of my classes and doesn't talk to anyone at all. even if i wave to her with one of my best smiles she just ignores me. basically a girl who has that cold personality and can beat me up in a matter of minutes. just my type.

but today, today was different.

this morning i was just minding my own business until i got into this classroom full of jerks. (except ”her”, of course.) opened the door, got hit with a splash of water, and lost a few brain cells from a bucket hitting my head like harambe.

of course, people laughed. some even tried to help me but ended up laughing like some pyscho instead. but that one girl didn’t. she had a straight face, just staring at me with her headphones plugged in. i saw the pity in her eyes, and i didn't want that. now that i realised it, i never got her name.

and i probably won't.

”stop laughing at her, heads.”