As a personal note: I deliberated about whether to post this today because of what went on with the ex-SKZ member on Twitter (I stand by how reputation can be recovered if the allegations are false, and a victim's dignity should be respected.) Please don't cyberbully people bringing forth allegations in the name of your idols - they have their own legal teams for that. I've decided to post short fic anyway because eh well, if anyone needs a distraction - it's within your rights to log off from the internet when things get too much. No one has to, or should, stay plugged in to stuff happening on the internet 24/7.

Anyway, onto the fic:

#8: Sugar, Spice, and Everything Nice

Tags: Domestic Fluff, Modern AU, Established Relationship

Summary: There’s probably something to be said about famous last words.

“Evidently, I baked. But… please don’t eat these. You might die. I don’t want my cooking to kill you.”

Inspired By: Seulgi & Irene / Red Velvet in the Level Up Projects!

Notes: Someone please save Seulgi from her own cooking… Or maybe this extends to at least 4/5 of Red Velvet. This is just something 99% lighthearted & domestic + this is me trying to remember how to use modern English instead of speaking like a character from FE3H's fantasy/medieval world (...will wave you at my other fic if you are interested, under the love is flower collection).

You really don’t care about me, huh?

Of course, Seulgi had quickly denied this. All the same, her cheeks still burned as their friends burst out laughing at Joohyun’s remark. They were in the bar they frequented, with the five of them sitting in the corner booth barely meant for four, Yerim tucked on the aisle-side next to Seulgi and Joohyun.

Yah, Kang Seulgi, someone’s feeling neglected!

Seulgi had put her hands up in surrender. Sorry, sorry, I was away! 

Sooyoung, picking up on the situation, smirkingly noted aloud that maybe Joohyun’s being a little too clingy? After all, Seulgi had spent the fortnight prior to their group meet-up away on a trip to Beijing, tagging alongside her senior colleagues. Most of it had been spent wining and dining the Chinese officials, with late nights pulled afterwards to put notes to paper and eke out the details of their deal. Seulgi had fallen into a dead sleep each time she finally returned to her own room at the hotel, only for the whole cycle to repeat again the next day.

Seulgi had groaned internally at that. Ostensibly, Sooyoung was mounting a defence for her. But Sooyoung also knew very well that Joohyun didn’t appreciate being called clingy because that suggested she was insecure.

Oh, God forbid that Bae Joohyun seem less than strictly perfect.

The five of them have been friends for what seemed like forever, but Joohyun still insisted on keeping up some appearances. That brings a slight smile to Seulgi’s face. Joohyun will be Joohyun.

That incident is a week behind them. Seulgi hasn’t had much time to breathe ever since work started for her. The job demands so much but she’s not sure she’ll have it any other way. Okay, maybe more humane hours would be nice, but in any case, she’s glad to finally have a weeknight free.

It’s a pity that Seungwan had to bail on her at the last minute.

Wannie: [Sorry, Seul, something came up at work. Please don’t burn the kitchen down?]

Seulgi: [it’s fine]

Wannie: […]

Wannie: [if you say so!]

Wannie: [just follow the instructions!! you’ll be fine!!!!!]

Seulgi: [I got it]

Wannie: [i know that u and joohyun have measuring cups and a weighing scale.]

Wannie: [PLEASE use them]

Now, those exclamation marks were completely unnecessary, Seungwan. It’s not like Seulgi has never cooked in her whole life before. Sure, she can probably only lay claim to frying eggs, making sujebi, and tossing various types of ramyun together as the few dishes she can consistently make with success in her culinary foray, but surely Seungwan shouldn’t doubt her like this?

Seulgi hums.

Perhaps eggs and ramyun don’t seem very impressive on any culinary portfolio. And what if her kimchijeons always wind up too-charred on one side? They are perfectly edible!

Her elbows are stained with flour and maybe there wouldn’t be batter on the table if Seungwan’s here to do it instead, but how could she have known that the batter would splash if she switched the mixer onto that setting?

All is going well. Now, she’s mixed the wet ingredients. Then there are the dry ingredients. She squints. Ah, all that’s left is to mix the sugar and cinnamon together.

But alas, she has dug through the cupboard, and there’s not a single speck of cinnamon to be found. Oh well. She has gotten this far already.

A quick internet search claims that yes, substitutes might work…

She throws all caution to the wind and picks up the bottle full of ground cardamom. They sound the same anyway. And they’re both spices. It… should be fine?

=========

There’s probably something to be said about famous last words.

Seulgi barely registers the door’s chime as Joohyun scans her keycard to the apartment. The sound barely distracts from Seulgi’s own coughing noises as she chokes down her product, nearly gagging at the taste.

Gah. This is terrible.

Then she hears Joohyun take her shoes off. She’s done coughing by now and hears a faint rustling as Joohyun slides into her indoor slippers.

Why is Joohyun home early? She’s not supposed to be home early!

“Seulgi?” Joohyun’s call is concerned as she walks towards the kitchen. “Are you okay? You’re home early – you’re not sick, are you?”

Seulgi squeaks as she scrambles to her feet. Those demonic cookies needed to go. Now.

But their apartment isn’t exactly a mansion and Joohyun appears at the doorway to the kitchen. Her brow knits in confusion at the scene before her.

Seulgi hasn’t managed to get any of the flour off her. Seulgi’s also still in her workwear, and though an apron has shielded her blouse from most of the damage, bits of splatter can be found on her sleeves. These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect cinnamon cookie, but Kang Seulgi added an erroneous ingredient into the concoction.

The result?

She must be some sort of Frankenstein, her cookies are monstrous accidents that should never have existed.

Seulgi had also intended to cook – the ingredients have been laid out on the countertop. But that is an endeavour she has obviously not started on before Joohyun’s early arrival.

Seulgi is also frozen mid-step, the trayful of not-cinnamon cookies in her hands hovering over the bin.

“I can explain! I swear!”

Joohyun raises a brow, confused. “Explain? You did nothing wrong, as far as I can tell. Are you sure you’re okay, Seul?”

Seulgi’s about to wring her hands in frustration before she realises the cookies will fly in every possible direction if she does that. That’ll make a bigger mess. She’s already messed up, she doesn’t have to mess up any further.

Instead, she lowers her head and sighs. “Evidently, I baked. But… please don’t eat these. You might die. I don’t want my cooking to kill you.”

“Oh?” Joohyun steps gingerly over some misplaced flour on the ground. “They… don’t look too bad.”

Seulgi reasons it’s because she probably did everything else right. It’s just that one thing. Who knew details could be this annoying? She concedes that her cookies aren’t fit for human consumption. Utterly incompatible with consumption.

Joohyun steps closer to her. “May I?”

“Please, no!”

Joohyun, being Joohyun, doesn’t heed that warning and picks up a cookie before Seulgi could upend the contents into the bin. She takes a small, tentative bite into one. Seulgi waits in trepidation.

Predictably, she starts coughing. Violently.

By the time she’s done, she’s all red in the face, and Seulgi worries that Joohyun might’ve hacked her lungs out in the process or something. Will Joohyun now be irreparably damaged?

“Joohyun-ie, are you okay?”

Joohyun waves a hand, dismissing her concerns. “You’re right. What did you do with them?”

Seulgi doesn’t look her in the eye as she empties the cookies into the trash. “I asked Seungwan for a recipe of those cookies you liked. But… I may have forgotten to drop by the mart on the way back. Anyway, we’re out of cinnamon.”

“And…?”

“I used the cardamom,” Seulgi admits, dejectedly.

She sighs again. How can she mess up when she didn’t intend to? . Now you’ve made a mess. She leans against the wall, shutting her eyes and trying to collect her feelings before she does anything else.

Joohyun’s lips press lightly against her forehead. Seulgi’s eyes pop open, questioningly. What’s that for?

“Thank you.” Joohyun’s smiling at her, and Seulgi’s not very sure why. It's the smile that Seulgi likes best, the one that makes her eyes crinkle just a little.

“Sorry? Joohyun-ie, I made a mess.” She waves her hands around the kitchen to elucidate her point. “Why are you thanking me?”

The sides of Joohyun’s mouth twitch. “Unless you’re not going to clean it up, I’m not going to be mad with you.” Her voice softens. “I know you’ve been busy, so thank you for trying, alright?”

“Joohyun-ie, I made a mess,” Seulgi repeats this.

“Yes, I can see that perfectly well.” Joohyun’s voice is wry now. “But I’m not your boss, am I? This is hardly unfixable.” Then her eyes flick towards the trash and back at Seulgi. “Okay, maybe those cookies are truly unsalvageable.”

“They really are.”

Seulgi can still feel the spice of the cardamom lingering at the back of . At this point she’s not sure if toothpaste would eradicate the taste.

Joohyun searches Seulgi’s face for something. She doesn’t seem to find what she’s looking for as her nose wrinkles.

“Point being – ugh, do I really have to say it…” Her voice trails off before she summons enough in her to utter, “I’m happy, okay? Thankful that you’ve gone out of your way to try to do something nice for me.”

Joohyun doesn’t quite look at Seulgi as she admits, “I’m proud that you’re doing so much for your work. But you know how I hate to feel petty and it’s irrational but sometimes I want more of your time for myself. Which,” Joohyun hurriedly scrambles to qualify, “this doesn’t mean that I would ever ask you to stop working as hard but—”

Seulgi raises her finger to stop her. “It’s okay, I get it now, Joohyun-ie. We talked about it remember?”

Seulgi remembers that when Joohyun first started working and they were still barely a thing, and Seulgi felt terrible to impose on her Important Adulthood Time. Only getting to see her on Friday nights, or on certain weekends, was completely alien to her then. She supposes that she sometimes forgets that her semi-recent transition to eternal slavehood must be weird to Joohyun too.

Joohyun relaxes, perfectly happy to not continue her elaboration. “So…” She surveys the damage done to their kitchen. “Maybe we could clean up? I don’t think you should be allowed in the kitchen for the rest of the day.” 

Seulgi’s perfectly happy to agree with that. “And maybe we can head out? I’ll grab a change of clothes – oh, oh, we can go to that new Thai restaurant that’s just opened down the street. Have you been?”

“No, but I think they offer takeout,” Joohyun recalls. “Tell you what, I’ll hop down to the restaurant and grab our favourites.”

Seulgi bounces on her feet, already starting to start shoving the groceries she’ll not use back into the fridge.

“I’m behind on every movie possible – so we can watch whatever you like, maybe?”

“If you think I’ll be conned into watching Peninsula with you, think again.”

“Aww, c’mon.” At Joohyun’s stern glare, Seulgi backs off. “Fine. I’m a little out of the loop but I hear it’s not great. Guess we’ll just doom-scroll Netflix later then.”

“Hey, no guilt tripping me into watching a zombie flick with you. How about that film with Lee Byunghun in it? Everyone seems to have watched it,” Joohyun suggests as she helps return the flour and sugar to their place on the shelf.

“Oh ew, no thanks. Work is depressing enough as is. I know Kim Sojin’s vibes in the film are to die for – she looks pretty good in vintage – but…”

“But?” Joohyun’s tone is sharp, but it’s dulled a little by clear confusion.

“But you’re way prettier, Joohyun-ie.” She flashes a dazzling smile at Joohyun who only swats her shoulder so Seulgi can get back to cleaning.

As Joohyun makes her way out of the apartment, she hears Seulgi call after her, “We should go shopping soon. Get you something Newtro!”

“If you keep this up our friends will think we’re Lee Byunghun’s fans, Seulgi-ah.”

“Hey,” Seulgi sticks her head out of the kitchen. “Not every fashionista is out to copy Mr Sunshine. Besides, Joohyun-ie, you do know that there are decades of clothing to choose from—”

“Yes, yes, please clean the kitchen.” Joohyun’s hand is on the door now. “Oh, do you want a watermelon juice if the restaurant has some?”

Seulgi feigns offence at this question. “Have I ever said no to watermelon juice?”

“Yes.”

“When?”

“Let’s see…” Joohyun pauses, pretending to consider the question. “I believe the most recent instance was when we were out celebrating Yerim’s birthday. I had to drink your share.”

“Oh, right, that.” Seulgi scratches the back of her head. Ah, . Her hair is now stained with flour. That’ll be harder to get out of her hair when they shower.

Joohyun only shakes her head fondly, giggling at the sight. “I’ll be back soon, Seulgi-ah. Be sure to thank Seungwan for the recipe.”

“Huh? Are we not telling her that I messed up?”

“It’s only right to thank her, Seulgi,” she scolds before the starts to beep from being opened for too long.

Joohyun steps out, cursing at the door. But before she closes the door, she adds, “Besides, I’ll tell her that you messed up in person. That’ll be funnier.”

The door clicks shut before her, the chime sounding as the lock mechanism activated.

It’s Seulgi who shakes her head now, smiling even as she returns to clean up the kitchen. Ah, there’s the woman she loves. It’ll be weird if Joohyun’s not trying to poke fun at her.

Her heart is lighter than it has been in days.