EUNHA POV

Thank you then for taking care of me last night .. sorry for being a burden 

i am staring at the same message i got from sowon this morning again and again ..

she was really drunk last night .. i kept discreetly looking at her that time- im worried because i know that her alcohol tolerance is very low.

i also notice that she lose weight and she also have dark circles around eyes . she's not as joyful and energetic as before and i know that its because of me - even if she tried hard to look like she doesnt care anymore , i can still see it in her eyes how hurt she is . i knew her more than anyone .

i felt sad and hurt to see her in that state. i want to hug her the moment her tears fell down on  her cheeks last night. I know i am the one who brought her pain but i am in pain too. 

i miss her too and that's the truth , i tried all my best to act like im not affected with our break up - that ive already moved on - but im not ..

i lied to all of them and to her - i told them that i dont love sowon anymore but the truth is i still love her - i still do but i have to let her go.

Her father wants me to leave her . They cant accept me for sowon . They said that sowon desserve someone better than me. They are aware that sowon is a biual  but they want sowon to end up with eunwoo .

Yes .. you read it right .. they want CHA EUNWOO for sowon . They are planning to put them in a fix marrage. Everyone knows how powerful the cha is .. they are really powerful and rich and eunwoo is their only child. Mr kim (sowon's Father) manage to convince President cha (eunwoo's father ) to put eunwoo and sowon into an arrange marriage after the graduation. KIM''s Family is a rich and powerful family but jung's family(yerin's family) and Cha Famili is on another level and mr. kim wants to expand their power so she wants her daughter to marry the only son of CHA's family .

 Sowon doesnt Know This. Its still a secret. 

how do i know ?

its because Sowon's father talked to me 3 days before i broke up with sowon .

He told me their plan and what they want me to do. Ofcourse' i refuse at first- I told them how much we love each other - that i will do everything for them to accept me but they said that they are already have an agreement with eunwoo's father . I cried infront of them telling them that i cant live without sowon. I still remember our conversation clearly .

"I Know how stubborn my jdaughter is .. i know that she will run away with you if she finds out our plan .. i know she will choose you more than her family .. that's why im asking you a favor jung eunbi .. i want you to keep this as a secret - i dont want sowon to know about this untill she graduates .. sorry if what im asking is too much but i want you to break up with her and just tell her that you dont love her anymore - she doesnt need to know about the agreement.."

"but what if i dont want to do what you wnat me to do ?"

"then i have no choice but to disown her .." he said and my eye's widens

"sowon grew up with a golden spoon in . she cant live a simple life like you .. if you really love her then you will prioritize her future . its for her future. admit it- eunwoo can give sowon evrything that you cant give to her. if you really love her you wont drag her down . you said you will do everything for her right ?- so do this for her .. for her future " 

i also remember that when i came home that night ' i saw sowon waiting for me infront of our apartment . i immediately run into her and hugged her the moment i saw her - i want to cry and tell her what happened but i tried not to because i dont want her to worry. she spent the night in my apartment - 

"love ' what if you have to live a simple life ' no luxurious car ' no  huge money in your pocket ' you cant eat everything you have because you have tight budget  ' you know what i am saying right ? ..   what would you do .. ?" i ask her 

"uhmm .. i dont know .. honestly i want a simple life but i dont think i can live with it .. i mean ' i grew up that i can get what i want in just a snap of my fingers - i dont know how to cook and i cant even think that i can live without my car since im too lazy to walk ..  what im sayng is ' its hard for me to live in a world that opposite to my world .. im being honest here .. " she said 

" but if livng in simple life means i can be with you forever then i will give up what i have now just to be with you .. because for me  luxurious life is boring and meaningless without you "

i knew how much sowon love's me - im aware of it. she loves me more than her life. she can give up everything just for me. she prioritize me more than anything .and because of that i realize that i can be a big hole in sowon's life and mr.kim is right ' i have to do this for sowon .. if sowon will do eveything for me - i can also do it for her . i dont want her to be disown by her own father just because of me . i dont want to see her suffer because of my selfishness. 

so i choose to leave her ..

i choose to hurt her instead because i dont wnat to drag her down .

sowon is so precious and she desserve to be with someone who can give her everything .

and that is eunwoo .

i pick up my earphone and put it in my ears then i played a song from my phone before i burried my face in my pillow.

You must think that I'm stupid
You must think that I'm a fool
You must think that I'm new to this
But I have seen this all before

yes maybe everyone must think that im stupid , idiot, and fool for leaving sowon- even my friends tought that i am crazy when i first told them that i broke up with sowon. They knew how much sowon loves me , they saw her efforts , they even felt her gunuine love for me. They said that sowon is a perfect girlfriend, an ideal grilfriend and it's true- When sowon loves you she will love you wholeheartedly -she will give you all that she has. 

i know i will regret my decission forever and i know that i cant get someone like her again for myself b