SOWON POV

i emptied the bottle of beer i was holding .. this is my 6th bottle already and i know i am drunk too .. i leaned my back at the backrest of the sofa since my body is starting to become numb , im not a good drinker , actually i hate alcohol but for now i wanna make myself wasted , i wanna drown myself in alcohol hoping to forget everything- to forget her ..

but is it possible ? if she's right sitting accross me? .. 

is it possible to get her out of my mind tonight ? because i really want to forget her though i know that it is impossible ... because she's my life ..

corny ? but its true ...

its been 6 months since she left me .. since the day she said that she dont love me anymore .. i dont know why she left .. she didnt give me a clear reason , she just told me that she fell out of love from me .. i never see that coming , i thought were ok , i thought she's happy ' i can see happiness through her eyes everytime that were together before ..

but one night she suddenly came to my house asking for a break up .. i still reamember the exact word she said when i ask her why 

"because i dont love you anymore and that's it , no other reason .. i just dont love you anymore"

and that night i felt that my whole world stopped..

i begged , i kneeled infront of her , i cried ..

"please eunha-yah love please tell me what's wrong ? what did i do wrong ? tell me please so i can fix it .. please just dont leave me , im begging you my love , eunbi-yah please .. dont do this to me " 

i said while kneeling infront of her ,but she just turn her back at me ..

after our break up my world became lifeless , i cried everynight , i lose weight .. 

i became a messed after that night , i suddenly forgot how to live my life ..

though yuna and yerin is always there for me i still feel lonely ..

they are always there for me , they did everything just to cheer me up and somehow i feel lucky to have them ..

but tonight i want to kill them ..

why ?

because they are the reason why im here at the bar ..

they forced me to come with them because they said that they dont want to leave me alone in our apartment ..

yuna begged me because she said its yewon's birthday so i dont have any choice but to come with them ..

but i forgot that yewon is eunha's friend .. and when we enter the bar she's the first person i saw .

she's laughing while talking to sinb and yewon , she looks good and blooming , she gets prettier than the last time i saw her.

maybe she already moved on ..

while me .. still stuck on that night .. 

i tried my best to be casual .. i tried my best to ignore her pressence ..

but i cant -so i decided to just drown myself in alcohol ..

as i lift myself up to get another drink , i unintentionally look at her way, not knowing that shes already looking at me , and our eyes met..

i dont know if im just hallucinating or its just because of alcohol but i saw sadness in her eyes ..

why are you looking at me like that eunha-yah ? 

i am the one who cut the staring contest between us because i cant take it anymore ..

because it hurts so much , i felt that she pity me ..

and i hate it !

i leaned my back and head at the back rest again ..

then the dj played another song .. i know this song ..

the music starts to play

my vision starting to became blurry so i close my eyes as i listen to the song

but unluckily me-all the memories and pain came back as soon as i close my eyes ..

 i felt that the song tells everything that i feel inside .. and that line "why did you have to go ?" - that is the exact question that i wnat to ask ... why eunbi-yah? why did you go ? why did you leave me ? you should have tell me .. because it hurts as hell ...

i cl