CHAPTER SEVEN; CHANGES AND CONFESSIONS.

"When tomorrow comes, and you're still not here, what will I do then?"

"Jooheon I didn't want to be dragged into this!"

"You're gonna get us caught if you're not quiet!" Jooheon spat back in a whisper. Somi huffed and scrunched up her face miserably. The grip Jooheon had on her hand was considerably tight and she knew she wouldn't be able to pull herself free if she gave it a go, he was literally dragging her into his mess.

"Then why pull me along to do this with when you could have just come on your own?" Somi whispered back. Jooheon's head flicked to look at her and Jooheon glared fiercely.

"As if I  would do this alone, you know going into the teacher's office is like entering the cave of a dragon" Somi could tell by Jooheon's wide eyes that he was serious when he said this to her. She huffed, clearly conflicted. But Jooheon wasn't giving her any other choice, there hadn't been one for her the moment that it was her hand he grabbed onto, entering the teacher's office was her fate and Jooheon was pulling her right towards it.

"Now be quiet!" He whispered harshly, he even put his finger over his lips to emphasize the action of being quiet. Somi rolled her eyes at him, but when Jooheon turned back to slide open the door to the lion's den, she bit down on her lip to make sure she didn't let out a single sound.

'Keep an eye out' Jooheon mouthed to her and Somi nodded, looking from left to right and behind her as they entered the room. All the teachers were at their designated classes, doing their jobs, but that fact didn't have Jooheon or Somi feeling any ease. Somi knew that someone could enter the teacher's office at any moment and she didn't want to be there when someone finally walked into the room. They stood there for a moment, just looking around and making sure no one could see them. Jooheon couldn't believe he had managed to sneak in again, not after almost getting caught the previous time. Somi gave Jooheon a shove that had Jooheon having to cover his mouth with both his hands so that he wouldn't squawk at Somi. He looked back at the young girl with wide blinking eyes and she waved her arm in a forward motion.

"Hurry up" She snapped and Jooheon slapped a hand over .

"I said no talking!" Jooheon whispered in a voice so quiet that he wouldn't have been hearable if he was even a hairs width further from Somi. Somi glared at Jooheon and wrapped her fingers around his wrist, forcing his hand off so that she could in a big breath.

"I'm not having a phone call made to my parents just because you can't find another way to get ink" Somi pushed Jooheon and his glare got harsher.

"Fine, I'm going!" He snapped in a quiet voice. Jooheon grabbed her hand again and Somi went back to biting down on her lip as they made their way to the teacher's printer, the only one in the school and the one that was right in the teacher's office, where all the teachers went back and forth countless times on the daily.

"So you're talking to Changkyun and Hyunwoo?"

"Well yeah, I work with them now" Somi nodded and Jooheon blinked.

"The modelling agency that you just said you work at, Hyunwoo and Changkyun work there too?" Jooheon's widened eyes fluttered, and with a small smile, Somi nodded in confirmation. Jooheon's head made a tilt to the side and he clucked his tongue, going back to concentrating on putting the ink into the skin of Somi's thigh.

"Ow! You prick!"

"Han Somi you watch your mouth!" Mrs Han yelled through the walls. Somi rubbed her leg, pouting as Kihyun grinned with a snigger, rubbing his hands to show he was ready to deliver another slap.

"Yoo Kihyun do you have a death wish?" The young girl seethed and Kihyun smirked. Somi wasn't quick enough to stop Kihyun or roll away when Kihyun swung his hand forward and clapped his palm against the skin of her thigh.

"Oh my god Kihyun!" Somi bellowed, rubbing the reddened area that stung under her touch.

"All I did was poke your cheek" Somi whined.

"With your crusty toes!" Kihyun threw one of Somi's pillows at her with all the force his arm could muster.

"Damn it Kihyun-" Somi sat on the floor of her room "-I might as well have Jooheon engrave 'Kihyun's personal punching bag' across my limbs" Somi seethed.

"Yeah, Hyunwoo, he's actually the head of the whole body and Changkyun, well he's one of the models Hyunwoo recruited" Somi informed Jooheon, who looked like he was deep in thought with his face close to his work.

"Where's this modelling agency?" Jooheon asked her.

"It's Sun's modelling and fashion agency" Somi answered.

"As in Son Hyunwoo?"

"As in sun in the sky sun" Somi corrected and Jooheon hummed.

"Then, I should come in and say hello, see how they are after this long" Jooheon pondered aloud and Somi in a breath. The action was loud and it made Jooheon look at her as he went for more of the black ink in the small tub on his station beside him.

"Jooheon," Somi bit down on her lip when she saw the misunderstanding in Jooheon's eyes, " I don't know about that" She honestly told him.

"What do you mean? Shouldn't I go and talk to them?" He asked her and Somi her lips.

"Talking and resolving things are good" Somi agreed with him.

"But you don't look like you agree with me" That was another thing, Somi was surprised by how open Jooheon was about speaking his thoughts, he hadn't hesitated with her and he hadn't kept any of his opinions to himself from the moment she sat back down to get the tattoo done. Somi nodded her head, trying to find how she could explain herself to Jooheon.

"Somi, when Kihyun died, I hated him, remember?" Jooheon asked her and Somi nodded.

"When I couldn't come to terms with Kihyun's death, I hated you too, because you were the closest to him, and you still didn't stop him from what he did-" Jooheon's honesty caused Somi's heart to squeeze, a familiar feeling of betrayal that she could remember the younger version of herself feeling an intenser version of. "-I told you that being so close to him and still not being able to save him was a disgusting and shameful thing, being his best friend was a title that you shouldn't have wanted because it just meant that you had failed him. I was wrong for that, just like I was wrong to be mad at Hyunwoo for still wanting to be your friend, I made him think the worst of you before I removed myself from his life too" Jooheon explained in an easy tone of regret that he didn't hide from her.

"I also blew up in Changkyun's face several times. Do you know what I did when I found out he had started self-harming because he was so depressed? I spat in his face and told him he made me sick, that he should just do what Kihyun did and save the effort of butchering anymore skin" Somi gasped, she hadn't known that, from the way he spoke of treating Hyunwoo to Changkyun's self-harming, she had been the first one out the door, so they were all things that she missed, and things that Hyunwoo hadn't brought up.

"I wasn't aware" Somi shook her head and Jooheon nodded.

"I want them to know that I'm sorry, that I don't need their respect or their friendship, but I do need them to know I'm living with regrets" Somi swallowed, there was a lump in and she could feel a dilemma arising.

"Look, I'll talk to Hyunwoo and Changkyun, I'm only saying this because Changkyun still hasn't warmed up to me, but I'm not so sure he'll be grateful to see you if things happened the way you said they did when he doesn't really want to be talking to me as it is right now"

"I would appreciate it if you did" Jooheon smiled and Somi nodded.

"It's not going to end in a fight is it Somi?" Kihyun asked behind her, peering over Somi's shoulder. Somi shrugged and Kihyun looked at her with worry. He didn't want his own desires to influence the girl so much that she makes a serious mistake. Jooheon was able to change the topic, and before Somi realised, he had her laughing at one of his stories about a horror client that had made him just about ready to call it quits and get an office job. It stopped her from realising just how long they had been sitting there with Jooheon consistently working. And Somi was surprised when Jooheon told her that he was finished with all the little details, meaning his work was complete.

"If you want to look at it, you can slowly stand up and take a look in that mirror" Jooheon pointed at the mirror behind them and Somi nodded, sliding forward and catching the material of her skirt before it could touch the fresh design on her thigh.

"Do you feel dizzy at all?" Jooheon cautiously asked her and Somi looked at Jooheon through the mirror that she was approaching.

"I feel fine," She told him before looking down at what he had just planted into her skin.

"Jooheon, I don't even know where to begin with this," She told the artist honestly as he came to stand next to her. Jooheon placed his hand on Somi's back, patting comfortingly as the woman's eyes watered.

"This means so much, you know that right?" She laughed, looking to Jooheon with her shimmering eyes, Jooheon nodded, wrapping his arm around Somi for a side hug.

"If he could, he would probably curse both of us out for this," Jooheon started with a laugh and Somi wiped under her eyes as tears brimmed and fell, "then he would be so smug, a permanent marking on his friend, what more could he want to state his title, right?" Jooheon's arm squeezed Somi and she nodded.

"Sorry, do you have any tissues Jooheon?" Somi asked of the artist as she looked around his room.

"Oh right, how rude of me. I'll grab you some, come over here because I need to moisturise that one more time before wrapping it up" Somi looked around as Jooheon took Somi by the hand habitually and pulled her back to the seat she had been sitting on. Kihyun slowly became visible to her He blinked his eyes at the sight of Somi standing up, opening and closing his mouth before he was able to actually speak to her.

"You're all done?" He asked her and Somi nodded, her fingers shook her skirt that she was holding away from her wound and Kihyun looked down at it, eyes fluttering before they softened.

"That's what you got?" He came closer for a better inspection as Somi nodded. He crouched down and let his head tilt to the side.

"You self contradicting little-"

"Here are the tissues" Jooheon handed Somi a box of tissues, his approach made Kihyun jump away, the last thing Kihyun wanted was to see how Jooheon looked on the inside. It stopped Kihyun from giving his long snide remark though, so Somi gratefully took the box of tissues that Jooheon was handing to her.

"Let me just finish this off and then you can run away yeah?" Jooheon crouched down with a smile Somi's way. Somi nodded and put the tissue holding her tears down so she could keep her skirt out of the way for Jooheon. Jooheon moisturised the tattoo, then he wrapped it up just like he explained to Somi. And when he stood up with a clap of his hands, Somi knew their meeting was officially coming to an end.

"So, should we book an appointment for you to come in and get that one fixed up?" Jooheon pointed down to Somi's ankle that was hidden by her sock, but she knew exactly what Jooheon was hinting at.

"Maybe we should leave that one as is huh? I'll keep it as a mark of old friendship" Somi joked back.

"Alright then" Jooheon sighed and pulled his phone out.

"Before you go, I'll send you the pictures I took, otherwise I'll forget and you'll have to try and take your own" It didn't take long for Somi's phone to go off, she checked that it was a message from Jooheon before opening her arms in a bold offer for a hug from her old friend.

"Thank you Jooheon, I appreciate this so much" Thankfully, Jooheon did hug her, tightly too, and Somi closed her eyes, just taking in where she was in that moment.

"You don't have to thank me" Jooheon pulled out of the hug and moved Somi's skirt to take another look at his work.

"It doesn't compensate, but this is my sorry for everything that happened to us" He clarified, nodding when he was happy with his art. Somi looked around the room as Jooheon stood to his full height, it was just the two of them again and Somi almost let out a heavy sigh.

"I'll stop trapping you in my studio now" Jooheon joked with her as he finally opened the door to his room. Somi laughed and followed him out with Jooheon shutting the door behind her, oblivious to the sudden emptiness that Somi was feeling as disappointment touched her with the realisation that Kihyun had gone somewhere, leaving her side for who knows what reason.

Kihyun was there for everything, through her different phases, through all her crushes and with each change in her favourite colour, Kihyun was there, knowing it all.

It was a lot emptier without him beside her.

--

"You mean he's one of your friends from high school? I promise you on every one of my relative's graves Somi, I didn't know that he knew you" Hani shook her head as she rushed to prove herself to Somi and Somi offered a small smile.

"I'm not angry about it Hani, it was actually kind of good to see him again" Somi looked down at the art he had put on her body.

"So you don't want me to say sorry?" Hani briefly looked away from the road to glance at Somi, who shook her head.

"No I don't want you to say sorry-" She gave a chuckle to show her ease "-just maybe though, maybe refrain from telling Hyunwoo about it for now, and Changkyun too" She answered and Hani scrunched up her face.

"You don't want them to know you've seen Jooheon?" She asked and Somi bit down on her lip and shook her head quickly.

"No, it's not that. I just, you know, I feel like I need to find the right way to inform them if Changkyun will want to stand in front of me long enough to hear about it. That's all," Somi breathed in and as a second thought she opened again, "I actually still need to somehow tell them that I ran into another one of our friends when I was doing the groceries and that he wants me to spend time with him at his gym" She admitted and Hani hummed.

"And you need to do that cautiously because?" Hani inquired as she made a turn the moment there was a gap between the moving cars on the road.

"Because a lot happened in high school," Somi let out that big breath that had been weighing her down, "a lot of stuff that we all need to recover from" Somi looked away from Hani and out the car window instead.

"Ok then-" Hani nodded briskly. "-your secret will be safe with me until you find a way to talk to Changkyun and Hyunwoo. After that though I'm going to talk about it so much, I got to take you to get your first tattoo! You did amazing to get one that size for your first time. My first tattoo was this cheesy little raindrop on my collarbone and I cried the entire time like a baby" Hani caught the collar of her shirt between her fingers and pulled down. Somi leaned forward to see, biting down on her lip so that she wouldn't make any sounds as a reaction to the ink on Hani's collarbone.

"No, go ahead you become numb to any reactions after doing it every time you look in the mirror for several years" Hani gave Somi her permission with a dismissive wave of her hand and Somi in the wince she had been refraining from for Hani's sake.

"Yeah, I make sounds similar to that without realising when I look at it sometimes" Hani nodded in an understanding way and Somi leaned back in her seat with a chuckle.

"Do you want anything to eat? It's four o'clock" Hani asked Somi who hummed, looking at all the shops and people they were passing.

"I'm a bit hungry" She hummed and Hani agreed with her.

"Let's find somewhere to eat then"

"Call" Somi hummed once again, relaxing in her seat, feeling calm with Hani beside her the way that one would with their college friends, the other woman's presence wasn't so bad, Somi begrudgingly admitted to herself.

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"Um, are you sure you'll be ok?" Hyunwoo looked down at Somi's thigh with worry, then he realised where he was looking and quickly put his eyes on anything else, like Somi's forehead, that was a safe place to keep his eyes.

"Yeah I'll be fine, I need to keep it uncovered for at least a week they said" Somi bit down on her lip. It was eating her up inside that she wasn't telling Hyunwoo what she wanted to say and he was only just seeing the results of her weekend off for the first time, she wasn't going to last long before guilt ate her up if she kept going the way she was.

"Well it's' still kind of cold, so tell me if you need the heating on and I'll do that for you," Hyunwoo told her, taking note of how Somi was still wearing a sweater even though her legs were revealed to the air.

"Thanks, Hyunwoo" Somi nodded and Hyunwoo did the same, looking away again.

"Ok well, I'll let you do your work, don't forget that we're going to be going location scouting next week though" Hyunwoo pointed a finger at Somi and she nodded, turning to her calendar.

"I'll write it down now so that I can't forget"

"Good, I feel reassured now" Hyunwoo niggled at her as he opened the door to Somi's office.

"Get lost Hyunwoo" Somi threw her pen at Hyunwoo but with another teasing laugh, he was shutting the door and the pen was hitting the door with a smack instead of Somi's original target.

"It's like dealing with a child in a grown mans body" Somi muttered to herself to vent out the frustration that Hyunwoo was starting to cause her. Hyunwoo was getting comfortable. His teasing ways had only amplified from when they were younger, he actually knew how to pull tricks now, his jokes were still lame, but at least he had improved one thing to use against other people.

"Be nice to him" Kihyun also niggled at Somi by scolding her. Somi rolled her eyes, scoffing with a slouch forward as she went back to hovering over her laptop in an attempt to get some work done. Kihyun smiled and slipped away, he didn't want to let his constant need to speak to interrupt Somi for once, not that she really took notice of him or anyone else once she had herself concentrating on something important to her. Kihyun drifted through the halls, taking interest in watching the people around him do their work until he would find Hyunwoo or Changkyun and see what they were up to because sometimes it was more interesting watching them than Somi.

------------

"Um, since both of you are here, there's something  I've been trying to think of a way to tell you" Somi looked down at her hands in her lap, her fingers curling and uncurling around each other in an act of nervousness. Changkyun raised an eyebrow, continuing to be quiet as Hyunwoo scrunched his face up. It had been a few days with Somi having gotten no sleep the night before. She had barely managed to be able to get both Hyunwoo and Changkyun to sit down with her as just the three of them, especially when Changkyun said next to nothing to Somi if it didn't involve their work and he looked to avoid her any way he could. She still didn't know how she had managed to get them both sitting at a table with her, her lack of sleep only making her more jittery as her eyes moved over the coffee that was placed in front of her.

"You know you can talk to me Somi, you don't have to be nervous like this" Hyunwoo told her and Somi nodded without looking up at him.

"Well, there are some people that I've been running into lately" Somi breathed in and Hyunwoo leant on his elbows on the table, looking serious as he nodded attentively.

"Ok"

"I know you've been wanting to know about the others, and their whereabouts Hyunwoo, but I was kind of scared when I thought of saying anything to you" Somi finally looked up at Hyunwoo, who nodded in understanding of her feelings.

"I ran into Hoseok not too long ago, he works for Quality Fitness and has invited me to go and work out with him at the gym whenever I want, but I haven't acted upon that yet, so I don't know what else he is up to. I saw Hyungwon on the night when I went out with the girls, he is a DJ at the club and they call him H.One Hani told me. I also didn't know how to say anything when I let you see, but, it was Jooheon who did my tattoo, he works at a studio on the other side of the city" Somi tried to explain herself quickly, to get it all out in the air instead of on the tip of her tongue, making her more and more nervous until she couldn't say anything to them.

"You went and got a tattoo?" Changkyun spoke first and Somi's face scrunched up in a wince.

"That's what you got from everything I just told you Changkyun?" Sumin was still fiddling nervously in her lap, looking up with a jolt when Hyunwoo let out a big breath.

"Changkyun" Hyunwoo's tone was a warning. He knew exactly what the other male was trying to do and Changkyun grumbled, discomfort causing him to move around in his seat.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner Somi? Why are you only just telling us?" He asked of the woman, Somi could hear that he wasn't offended like she was expecting, he should have been though. Somi would take whatever she could get though, and if this was the worst that Hyunwoo was going to react, then Somi was going to run with it and not look back for any other reactions.

"I've been wanting to tell you, I was going to tell you that Jooheon was the one to do my tattoo and that he wanted to see you when I first showed you, but then he started talking about some of the things he did in school and I didn't think that you would like it" Somi shrugged her shoulders and her brows pinched. It went quiet between them and Somi looked down at her hands.

"When did he want to pay us a visit?" Hyunwoo asked Somi and her eyes were wide when she shot her head back up to look at Hyunwoo.

"Huh?"

"Didn't Jooheon say when he wants to visit?' Hyunwoo asked her again and Somi gulped.

"Well no, he just said that he would like to pop in. I said that I would have to talk to you both first" Somi told him and Hyunwoo nodded.

"Well send him a message, I would like to catch up with him" Hyunwoo gave his permission and Somi nodded.

"I've got to get going, but text me what Jooheon says?" Hyunwoo raised a brow as he stood up and Somi nodded, waving goodbye to Hyunwoo.

"I'll go to then" Changkyun quickly got out of his seat and Somi stood up to, walking after him when he tried to leave quickly.

"Changkyun" Somi ran down the hall to catch up to Changkyun, who stopped when he looked over his shoulder at her. Somi puffed her cheeks out and Changkyun turned around to face her, not understanding why she was so eagerly following him. Somi gave him a full ninety-degree bow before standing tall and stepping forward.

"I'm sorry Changkyun, let me look once," Somi told Changkyun, confusing him until both of Somi's hands were clasping Changkyun's right hand, pulling it in front of her before the young woman was rolling his sleeve back. The action had Changkyun going stiff in the shoulders and he took a step back, but it wasn't far enough for Somi to have to let go of him. She was seeing something that not many people saw and it had Changkyun feeling exposed in a way that he hadn't felt towards his arms in a while now.

"I guess Jooheon must have told you some things" Changkyun spoke quietly when all words seemed to escape Somi. She traced her thumb over the scars, aging to the point of turning white. Somi could feel her eyes starting to water when she looked up to Changkyun's again.

"He was really remorseful Changkyun" She informed him and Changkyun rolled his eyes, turning his head to make sure no one else was in the hallway. He popped his hip out and the fingers on Changkyun's right hand curled as Somi traced over another scar.

"What have I done?" Somi had hardly heard herself speak, so it startled her when Changkyun ripped his arm away from her with a scoff. He pulled his sleeve down to cover his skin again and Somi swallowed, stepping away from him. Changkyun looked over her once before he his feet to walk away again with Somi watching his back. He succeeded in taking three steps before he stopped and looked down at the ground. Somi blinked away the tears in her eyes as Changkyun looked down at the ground and shook his head with a big breath out.

Somi startled when Changkyun turned and walked back to her suddenly. Her body jumped in its place and Changkyun reached into his pocket. He pulled out a pen and this time it was Changkyun that grabbed Somi by the arm and pulled her sleeve back. It in return meant that this time it was Somi's turn to freeze in her place as insecurities old in age returned to her and doubt filled her mind. Changkyun paused, just looking at Somi's skin, rigid and uneven in places, signs of treatment that he was familiar with. Changkyun's eyes softened, he opened his mouth to say something, but his ability to speak seemed to be lost.

"Look," Changkyun went through with his initial task, "just let me know when Jooheon is going to be coming in" Changkyun scribbled down a line of numbers, making Somi realise he was giving her his phone number.

"Ok" She nodded and Changkyun pulled her sleeve back down for her.

"I'll see if I feel up to talking to him, Mi" Changkyun told her in a quiet voice and Somi nodded, holding her arm close to her chest as Changkyun walked away from her, not stopping for anything this time.

"If you see any of them, or Hani, please don't tell them about this" Somi asked of Jooheon in a small voice as Jooheon looked at the exposed area of skin Somi was wanting him to put his art on. Jooheon looked at her skin lined with scars for a long while before he gave her a dimpled smile.

"Your secret is safe with me, you realise that this will be more painful than normal now though, right?" He asked her in a tone of old worry and Somi bobbed her head.

"I looked it up a little bit first, I'm willing to do it if it covers something I don't want people to know" She explained and Jooheon let out a sigh, pointing to his laid out chair.

"Lay down and I'll put the stencil on first, alright?" Somi nodded and complied, taking a deep breath in as she laid down, realising what she was about to do in its full extent.

"I promise that I'll be as gentle as I can with it, but we also want the ink to stay"

And there we have the next chapter. More secrets are coming out and things are being explained. Soon Somi won't be the only one reuniting with her friends and we'll be seeing more interactions between the members of Monsta X.

Until next week, take care and be happy <3