CHAPTER FIVE; THE START OF SOMETHING NEW.

"How does one move on, with only half of themselves?"

"He's buff"

"You're not wrong" Somi answered absentmindedly. She wasn't entirely listening to Kihyun who seemed to feel as sombre as she did but wouldn't let it show through his attempts to lift Somi's mood up.

"And he basically told you that you need to go to the gym" Kihyun chuckled and Somi sighed, grocery bags lining her arms as the two made their way back into the apartment building and up to Somi's apartment.

"This carpet is stiff" Kihyun commented distractingly as the two filed out of the elevator and down the hall.

"Kihyun, you can't feel the carpet" Somi grumbled and Kihyun scoffed.

"Yeah but I can see how it handles the pressure of your weight"

"You couldn't have worded that in a nicer way?" Somi scrunched her face up with a gruff, straining to force her arm up so that she could insert the key into the keyhole and unlock the door to her apartment.

"Not that I could think of" Kihyun shook his head, entering the apartment before Somi, who scowled at him for his attitude.

"You haven't matured at all, have you?"

"Well no" Kihyun shrugged his shoulders, not offended by the way Somi bitterly insulted him. Kihyun walked towards the light switch and his expression became concentrated, gritting his teeth for a whole five seconds before he was able to push the switch properly and turn the lights on for Somi, slowly lighting the apartment before the fading sun could completely plunge the place into darkness.

"Thanks, Kihyun" Somi sighed as she was finally able to slide the last bag of groceries off her arm and onto the kitchen bench. Her arms slumped and Somi let her body weight pull her upper body forward until her forehead was meeting the kitchen bench, surrounded by bags full of the food she had just bought.

"The meats going to go warm"

"I'm getting there" Somi waved Kihyun away from her and Kihyun clucked his tongue in response.

"The ice cream is going to melt soon"

"I spent money on that" Somi was standing up straight and digging through the bags in an instant just like Kihyun thought she would be. Kihyun shook his head and walked away. He made his way out to the balcony on the back of Somi's apartment. It was small, with two chairs on either side of a small metal table that adorned a pot plant that Kihyun had to constantly remind Somi to water so it wouldn't die. He didn't mind the size though, it allowed him to watch the sunset or just watch the world that he could have been part of so that Somi got some space from him for a little while because he knew that he couldn't be Somi's whole world. That was the scariest part for him. Somi was growing up and finally making moves in her life that could get her somewhere, it was only natural that one-day Kihyun would become a second priority, then third priority until Somi was completely absorbed in her life and had moved on from him. He knew that one day he would have to completely leave her side, probably without even saying goodbye to her.

Kihyun let out a heavy breath. What would the pair be doing right then if he wasn't just a ghost following his best friend around? Maybe they would be cooking dinner together, having a drink out on the balcony as the sun went down, a movie night or just minding their own business, knowing that tomorrow night would be their weekly group catch up. That was the worst part. Maybe if he wasn't dead, all of his childhood friends would still be connected like they once were and Somi would have ambition, the determination to do something with her life. Because Kihyun knew with his death and the loss of all her friends, she had lost that ambition and will to continue chasing her dreams, which had changed several times until she landed a literature scholarship and was forced to strive for a career in writing.

The worst part was, Kihyun knew Somi was probably a lot lonelier than she let on, with him only half next to her, she probably felt it the worst because it was a constant reminder of that one night where Kihyun watched the life of his own friend crumble apart only minutes after watching his own life disappear. A hypocrite, there was no better word that he could describe himself with. There were so many others out there making up the statistics of the suicide rates that actually had a hard life, faced misery and hardships. He was just a coward that couldn't face life, so he took his own away and watched from the shadows as it tore his friends and family apart inside, caused conflict between his closest friends and deteriorated the mental health of most of them. He was a hypocrite and a coward that was causing Somi more pain by staying rather than leaving the girl so that she had no choice but to strive for a good life of her own. 

He hated himself the most for knowing all of this and still choosing to stick with her day by day

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"Monday" Somi breathed out as she put her phone down and Kihyun's head made a tilt to the side.

"You're starting on Monday?"

"Yeah"

"That's soon" 

"Yeah, it is" Somi nodded her head.

"Well?" Kihyun stared at Somi and she pinched her brows together as she looked back at him.

"Well, what?" She responded and Kihyun gave a loud snort, pointedly looking at Somi.

"Are you excited?" Kihyun asked her and Somi looked away to ponder on the question.

"I mean, I'm nervous for it" Somi shrugged her shoulders.

"As everyone is when they start something new" Kihyun agreed with her feelings and Somi nodded, biting down on her bottom lip.

"Remember our plan?" Kihyun spoke again when he realised Somi had nothing to say. She looked at him and Somi smiled softly as Kihyun gave her one of his familiar smiles.

"We're gonna give this our best shot, be grateful to Hyunwoo and maybe you'll find solace in your long friendship with him. If this doesn't work out, then we know Hyunwoo will be understanding in letting you go to find what will work for you"

"I remember" Somi bobbed her head and Kihyun smiled at her with his fondness towards the young woman showing.

"Good, so let's do that" He hummed and Somi gave her reply in the same form. Her head turned to look at her bedside table. There sat one of her most cherished pictures, a group of eight adolescents, only just finding out the reality of the world but still smiling brightly as they walked through it together. When she looked at the picture some nights, she would wonder where some of those young boys had gone in life, were they doing well? Were they happy? She had found an answer in Hyunwoo, but did she want to know the answer for the others? Even when they used to be so close?

Her eyes shone as she looked at the photo that immediately evoked memories of easier days from the back of her mind. She could admit, she missed their jokes, the days where they transitioned from playing in the mud to prim and proper uniforms that would come untucked and smeared by the end of the day, she missed group projects and hangouts, group hugs on the floor with their favourite movies playing, there were so many good memories that were put to a stop.

Somi's eyes sparkled, trained on the tight grip the younger version of herself had on a smaller Kihyun and Hyungwon and found herself longing for that same action to occur.

There was nothing she missed more than being able to hug Kihyun, embracing his warmth every time she was grateful for him and his support. Now he was cold, close but far away at the same time, still supporting her and opening her mind to new levels with his otherworldly advice.

And she couldn't even hug him to say thank you when he was right next to her.

------------

"For now, I have chosen the closest office to mine that was empty, it will be yours for good unless you find your self not liking it and want to move to another one, further away from me" Hyunwoo opened the door to what would, as he said, be Somi's new office until she decided otherwise. Somi followed Hyunwoo inside with her things tucked under her arms. She had been set on not having to carry too much on her first day, she could bring her stuff to her office over time to save stressing herself. But she still found herself stressed when she couldn't take anything off her list of items to take. For everything she had to take, there was a reason for why she would need it on her first day, with back up 'what if' situations that made each item all the more necessary to take on the first day.

Putting down the two bags of her camera stuff that she had brought with her, Hyunwoo sat the box he had taken out of her hands on her new desk and gestured to the space with a smile.

"What do you think of it?" He asked her, looking towards her inquisitively.

"It's really cool" Somi nodded, eyes trailing around the room, she was being honest. The office was filled with bright and pastel colours to stimulate her thoughts and inspiration, and she liked it, from the pale purple wall behind her desk to the set of drawers in the secondary colours of blue and yellow, a nice mix of light blues, greens and yellows to contribute to the calm but stimulating aura of the room.

"It's colourful" Somi commented and Hyunwoo's eyes widened.

"Do you not like colourful? Do you want black and white?" 

"No! No colourful is good!' Somi exclaimed in a panic, her face went red and she cleared .

"I like the colours" She muttered and Hyunwoo sighed in relief.

"Thank god, we don't have any black and white rooms" He joked and Somi chuckled as the heat in her face died down slowly.

"Ok well, we have a laptop here, we provide everyone with laptops-" Hyunwoo put his hands out to stop Somi when she opened to protest "-it's part of our companies insurance to allow our staff to do the best work that they can. So this is all yours, I'll leave you to settle in, come and find me in my office and we can meet up with Changkyun to show him the plans for this project" Hyunwoo turned away with a smile, planning to leave the room.

"Oh uhm, I'll only be like two minutes, we can go together if you want?" Her suggestion came out shy and meek and seeing that his efforts were being returned with attempts on Somi's part, Hyunwoo's smile widened.

"Are you sure that you only need two minutes to get comfortable?" He asked her and Somi nodded, her hand brushing over her new office chair as she looked around the office.

"Yeah, I'll just put some of my stuff down now and do the rest later"

"If that's what you want to do" Hyunwoo went back over to the box that he had put on her desk. Naturally, without minding the silence that took place between them, Somi went back to her two bags of camera supplies and dragged them over to her set of drawers. That was where she began by setting her camera on top and working her way through the bags. Hyunwoo made minimal noise behind her as he took the things out of Somi's box to place them on her desk, letting her decide where she would want to put them later.

The photo frame wasn't hard to find in the box, two books and a coaster later, it was made visible and Hyunwoo found everything stopping for him as he picked it up out of the box.

"Somi," Hyunwoo's tone was different to what Somi had heard since she first saw him again in the cafe, it made her body go stiff and she rigidly stood back up to her full height.

"Yes?" She asked him and Hyunwoo turned the photo frame in his hands around so that she could see it.

"You still have this photo?"

"You'll never guess what! I found Changkyun and it was so easy and he's-" Somi put her hand up, a silent signal that only the two of them knew and understood as not being the right time, she ran her hand through her hair. Her eyes remained on the photo and Kihyun's mouth fell open, his eyes travelling to see what she was looking at.

"I do" With a slow nod of her head, Somi confirmed the answer that Hyunwoo was holding to his question in his hands.

"And you brought it here, instead of hiding it away somewhere safe like you did with everything else?" Hyunwoo turned the picture back towards himself, the look in his eyes was different now that he was faced with an old memory and Somi swallowed, not knowing how she should react, not wanting any of her movements her words to strike something from within Hyunwoo. Kihyun swallowed thickly, he knew the atmosphere wasn't right between the two, he stepped to the side so that he was closer to Somi, naturally needing her by his side as he faced the difficult situation.

"Well, I have two copies, so I thought-" Somi naturally cast a stray glance to the person that only she could see "-that maybe having it here would encourage me" There was a lump in as she explained herself and though it was tempting to cave in and avoid looking at Hyunwoo, she held her gaze steadily trained on him, giving a tiny flinch but not looking away when Hyunwoo looked up at her.

"You have two copies?" Hyunwoo questioned her and Somi nodded, trying to swallow that lump in so that she could talk without feeling pain.

"When Kihyun died, his parents gave the photo to me" Somi informed her old friend, Hyunwoo looked down at the photo again, his thumb grazing over the glass protecting the photo.

"That's what they gave you? A duplicate of something you already had?"

"An object that Kihyun once held dear to him" Somi defended, her tone was still gentle, but Somi wasn't going to let him downplay what Mr and Mrs Yoo had given to her with the knowledge of its importance to Kihyun.

"They gave me his yearbook," Hyunwoo told her.

"A yearbook?" She questioned and Hyunwoo nodded.

"The one where we drew on everyone's faces on all the pages and left messages for him. I still have it in my room" Hyunwoo revealed.

"I remember that book" Kihyun smiled faintly, Somi looked to the side again to see his eyes watering in the same way she didn't realise that her own were.

"That was a good one" Somi tried to smile, but Hyunwoo could see it was a pained one.

"Yeah it was, I miss those memories" His own eyes were shimmering and Somi let out a shaky breath.

"So do I" She agreed with him.

"Don't let him cry Somi" Kihyun begged of her and Somi's lips trembled.

"Somi, I wish we had known, we could have done something. Kihyun wouldn't have to have done what he did and we probably would all still be getting along. We wouldn't have said or done those things that put a rift between us all now. That's what makes it scary, isn't it? Coming in here knowing that we fell out so hard, but here we are, standing in front of each other again. It all hurts, and I hate that we did that to each other, I hate that Kihyun did that to himself"

"Somi" Kihyun pleaded to the young woman.

"Hyunwoo, we can't change the past-"

"I know!" Hyunwoo cut her off, he looked up and Somi realised that it was too late, Hyunwoo was already crying and the sight of him had her eyes blurring too.

"It's just, everything was fine Somi, why did it happen if everything was fine? I can't even say that I'm sorry to Kihyun, I can't apologise that I didn't know, that we weren't supportive enough for him to get through it. We weren't good friends to him and I can't even tell him I'm sorry for not being better" 

"Hyunwoo don't say that" Somi rushed over to Hyunwoo, forgetting everything as she wiped away the tears from his face in an action that was so familiar that Hyunwoo cried harder.

"I'm sure now that you've said it he knows," Somi told him in a soft voice and Hyunwoo shook his head.

"It's too late" He refused head falling to hide from Somi's view, but she didn't allow it to stop her from drying his cheeks, neglecting her own wet face for Hyunwoo's.

"All I can do is say I'm sorry to you and Changkyun and hope that it suffices when I know it doesn't. I'm sorry Somi, we were young and in pain. I was angry and I did and said hateful things to you that I regret because I should have been pulling you closer instead of pushing you away, I know it won't fix it, but I'm sorry for what I did. It's too painful to feel this pain on my own" Hyunwoo enveloped Somi in a tight hug. His actions only had more memories resurfacing for the both of them and Somi's arms wrapped around Hyunwoo, squeezing him in hopes of taking away his loneliness.

"I'm so sorry Hyunwoo" Somi's fingers trembled around the fabric of Hyunwoo's polo as she tried to regain composure for both of them, but knowing that she was finally in the arms of someone that had the same aching heart as her after so long on her own only made the tears fall quicker and it was hard to calm down again. Hearing Hyunwoo's apology and his remorse, it was easy to forgive, now, she just had to get him to forgive her.

------------

"How do you feel about working with Changkyun?" Somi bit down on her lip and looked away, going quiet.

"You can be honest," Hyunwoo told her and Somi let out a heavy sigh, keeping her eyes on the ground.

"I don't know" Somi shrugged her shoulders and Hyunwoo's brows scrunched up as he looked at her.

"You don't know?"

"Yeah, he doesn't seem too excited to see me, I'm surprised that he even said yes to doing this project with me, to be honest, he probably still hates me and that's a bit scary to think about"

"Changkyun's professional, he'll say yes to a good project and he won't make it hard or intimidating, so if he doesn't like you that's not something that you'll have to worry about," Hyunwoo started and he bumped shoulders with Somi, "As well as that, he's also an adult so I'm sure that we could talk this out with him and all would be forgiven, if I could get you and him to forgive me, you can get him to forgive you for the past"

"That's what I've been saying!" Kihyun suddenly exclaimed, he had laid back and let her figure out her first day at work independently, to the point that she had almost forgotten he was still following her around. Somi flinched and clasped her hands together behind her so that her actions wouldn't be too noticeable to Hyunwoo.

"I hope so" She looked away and Hyunwoo nudged her again, gently making her look back at him again.

"It's gonna be fine, worst comes to worst, this project will be done peacefully and the two of you go off on your way again, nothing bad will come out of it" He reassured her and Somi sighed, her cheeks puffing out with the action.

"Don't act like it's going to be so bad"

"It might be" Somi grumbled and Hyunwoo snorted, putting his hand on Somi's back as he opened the door to the meeting room and pushed her through, making her enter the room first.

"Now you're just being silly," He told her off and Somi grumbled, making her bottom lip jutt out without her noticing.

"Oh my god stop that, how many time do I have to tell you that it looks disgusting when you pout like that" Kihyun grimaced.

"Wow, you still do that?" Hyunwoo's fingers grabbed Somi's bottom lip and being too focused on Kihyun's scolding towards her unconscious actions, she jumped, giving out a shriek as Hyunwoo pinched her lip between his thumb and his pointer finger.

"You still have a thing for being cute without realising it? I just had flashbacks to my teen years because of you" Hyunwoo lectured the young woman, pulling on her lip as Somi's eyes widened.

"Hyunwoo, I don't think grabbing Somi by the lip is really ever going to be the appropriate thing to do" The action was old and familiar, but after years without it, it felt just as weird as the first time Hyunwoo had done it and Somi pushed his hand away from her. She hadn't realised that Changkyun was pulling Hyunwoo back into line with his soft voice, and when she looked up, Minah was staring between the two of them with wide eyes, flabbergasted by what she had just seen her boss do.

"Hyunwoo, I didn't know you had that in you" Minah muttered, looking up and blinking. Somi hid behind her hand, bowing to the people in the room, she was beyond embarrassed.

"Ah, you're all here already?" Hyunwoo ignored Minah and looked around the room, the smile he pulled was bashful. Still, he guided Somi to a seat and sat down next to her, clearing his throat with a gesture towards Somi.

"Everyone, this is our new photographer Somi, who will be part of this project" Somi was quickly back on her feet to bow to everyone politely, Hyunwoo was also quick to pull Somi back into her seat by her arm.

"What have you got Minah?" Hyunwoo asked the lead stylist who quickly stood up.

"Ok, so, the company Shine Forever has finally sent in what clothing it is that they want us to use so I've got a few different looks put together that I will tailor to fit Changkyun sometime later" Minah spread out a collection of papers, all with different outfits drawn on them, Somi picked up the one closest to her to examine Minah's work, when she liked what she was seeing, she swapped it for the one that Hyunwoo traded with her until she had looked at all of the outfits.

"Minah, I'm noticing a trend in your work" Somi spoke up to get the other woman's attention and Minah blinked at her, falling open as her eyes widened.

"You've drawn all the outfits to what you think you're going to have to take in and tailor for Changkyun yes?" She asked her and Minah nodded.

"Yes, I work with Changkyun often, I know his measurements well and there are a few pieces that need to be fixed"

"I'm not saying there's a problem there, I don't want to be rude to you Minah," Somi quickly shook her head when she heard how Minah grew defensive and Hyunwoo put out a hand to sedate the sate of the other woman, "I can see this is Changkyun, don't get me wrong, it's just that, the Changkyun here at the table has black hair and the Changkyun you have drawn has a light brown hair, is that something you want in this shoot?" Somi asked her and Minah smiled bashfully as Changkyun sighed, rubbing his temples.

"Minah-" Changkyun started, only to be cut off.

"I know Changkyun you won't stop telling me that you don't want to do anything to your hair! But you're a model you're gonna need to do these things sometimes. Solar has even agreed that it will look good on you for months now, the change won't hurt you" Minah argued and Somi felt like she had taken the lid off of a jar that shouldn't have been opened.

"I don't want brown hair Minah, black hair looks better on me-"

"Boohoo I'm a little emo boy who only wants long black hair-"

"Minah!"

"Changkyun," Somi tried her best to give a polite smile as she passed Changkyun the several outfit designs whilst Hyunwoo heatedly glared at Minah, "looking at these outfits, is there any theme for you that you want to try?" She asked him, moving to a closer seat as Changkyun clucked his tongue and gratefully took the distraction, not wanting Hyunwoo to begin scolding him like he was to Minah.

"I don't know" Changkyun leant on his elbow and snatched up one of the drawings, ignoring the way Somi fidgeted in the seat next to him.

"They're good clothes, probably something outside?" He tried to suggest and Somi looked up from her hands to nod as Changkyun slid the outfit designs back towards her.

"Yeah, that would probably be better, good idea" She answered, tentatively taking the designs and Changkyun nodded, looking away again.

"Hey, I'm Solar by the way" The smiling woman across the table from Somi spoke up then and Somi jumped in her seat, snapping her eyes back up to look at her.

"Oh, hello Solar" Somi bowed her head.

"I'm the one behind the hair, Wheein isn't here today, but she's in charge of makeup and you'll have to talk to her about what you have in mind at some stage before the shoot. But we can talk about what we're going to do with this hair in the meantime" Solar stood up to run her hands through Changkyun's hair. Changkyun, who was still steaming from his short-lived argument with Minah, visibly tensed when Solar started running her fingers through the strands of his black hair, knowing what was coming for him.

"Not even once Changkyun? It's not like I'm gonna damage your hair" Solar nagged him and Changkyun let out a deep breath to keep himself calm.

"Solar, I'm not comfortable with having brown hair-"

"Why not? You went platinum blond before, what makes brown any scarier?"

"That was a one time thing, I'll never be touching blond again"

"Let's not think too hard on it, for now, Solar" Somi spoke up and Solar paused before taking her fingers away from Changkyun's hair.

"We'll think of a good theme for these outfits," Somi tapped on Minah's designs, "then we can think about hair and makeup that will suit the look, so long as Changkyun will be comfortable with it" Somi looked at Changkyun, making the male look away the moment they made eye contact with each other.

"Alright then, I'll test my patience this once" Solar smiled, walking back to her seat, which Somi immediately thanked her for.

And so we have a tiny interaction between Somi and Changkyun finally! For their project I'm deciding to go with the theme of the Shine Forever album, especially this look of Changkyun's.

Just so you can get a picture of what I'm thinking up, this is what I've got in mind for their first project together. 

See you next week!