So if I can't be the perfect rocket, maybe I'm a bird.

A bird can fly, just like a rocket, but no one tells a bird where to fly. It can decide on its own.

When it's hungry, it gets food, when it's lonely, it gets a friend.

It can care for its babies and other birds, too.

A rocket can't care for other rockets, but a bird can.

I like being a bird.

 

---

 

Jongdae had dreamt something last night. It was already slipping from him, something about a visit at the doctors, with cables and machines and Kyungsoo holding his hand. It had only been mildly unsettling, that much he knew. Still, he wasn't sad to see that dream frizzle out into nothingness.

"Jongdae?"

Right, there was someone across him. Warm and heavy.

Bit by bit did reality trickle in.

He hummed belatedly, wondering when he'd ever be allowed to sleep in. His arm was still wrapped around another body, and the feeling was still new, still fresh. Unusual, but not unpleasant.

"Can I kiss you?"

Jongdae huffed and tried to open his eyes, only to find Kyungsoo's face very close to his. Very close. He flinched back a little, hitting his head on the wall, crusty eyes closed again.

"Kyungsoo, no," he whined, feigning exasperation to drown out his quickly beating heart. He wanted to quickly rub his eyes so he'd be a step closer to actually being awake, when Kyungsoo wriggled closer in his grasp.

"Why not?"

Jongdae felt how close he was. Kyungsoo's body was warm under his fingers, but his head obviously wasn't, and yet he felt him being only a finger's width away. The voice was close, sounding even lower when quiet, the airflow was blocked by him, and Jongdae's lashes grazed skin. He willed himself to relax.

He'd occasionally made out with people, sure, but he had most certainly not been in a situation like this in a long time. Still, he wouldn't allow that to throw him off.

"Because it's weird," he said, and it came out a tad weaker than intended. Just a tad.

"Why?" came the prompt reply. Pinned between the wall and Kyungsoo, Jongdae had to take a deep breath. To keep his thoughts together.

"Because kissing is for lovers."

When Kyungsoo didn't reply immediately, Jongdae added, "people who love each other, kiss each other."

"Doesn't love come after the kissing?" Kyungsoo asked, and he had backed off just the tiniest bit.

"Not usually, no."

"Then do you already love me?"

Jongdae changed approaches from gently pushing Kyungsoo off to drawing him close again. He felt the other bury his face in Jongdae's neck, proving that he indeed didn't need oxygen.

"Of course I like you," he began, feeling like a loser for chickening out on using the other four-lettered word. "I care for you. A lot. But not in the sense that I want to kiss you or have with you."

"But..."

Jongdae finally managed to get his own space back when Kyungsoo drew away. Predictably, he opened his eyes to a very confused-looking android. Jongdae hummed in question, but Kyungsoo shook his head.

"Nothing. I have to think about this."

Jongdae sleepily ruffled his hair.

"You do that. And now let me sleep a little longer," he yawned, snuggling back into bed, his arm still loosely draped around Kyungsoo's waist.

"Your alarm goes off in ten minutes."

"Good."

Kyungsoo didn't make a move to leave, and Jongdae was getting the hang of dozing off with a very much awake person potentially watching him.

 

---

 

"Good, actually. But you knew that already, didn't you?"

Jongin wore a perfectly innocent expression.

"Huh? Why?"

Jongdae narrowed his eyes at him.

"You two seem like you talk on a regular basis."

Jongin's eyes widened a bit.

"Really? Why? Did Yifan say something?"

It was adorable, how shyly excited he looked about the prospect of Yifan talking about him. Young love. Disgusting, Jongdae thought with a smile and fueled by nothing but happy envy.

"Nah, he didn't. I just noticed your couple item game going on," he waved Jongin off, unwilling to tease the other any longer. With a small 'oh,' Jongin poked the straw inside the package as if it took all of his focus.

"Anyway, the visit went well! Apparently, Kyungsoo is all healthy and surprisingly well-developed, considering the circumstances," Jongdae explained, easily changing the topic.

When it came to Kyungsoo, he mostly talked to Jongin about him. It was a little funny, how the stray android had brought them together. Initially, Jongdae had seen him as a mere co-worker to exchange a little small talk with, but over the past few weeks, they had often talked about Kyungsoo, and then about other topics. Their friendship was growing, just like the friendship between Jongin and Kyungsoo did. They actually talked a lot, and Jongdae used to feel a prick of petty jealousy (which was natural. Humans felt these basic instincts all the time, no shame in that. He hadn't been planning to act on them); whenever Jongin got off work before Jongdae, he'd make it a point to sit down with Kyungsoo and talk about books. Jongdae would have loved to be part of that, but he had no idea when he'd even find the time to read all those books. He was pretty sure Kyungsoo read them at night, when Jongdae went to sleep.

"He seems pretty eager on learning things, yeah," Jongin commented, and Jongdae nodded as he opened the yogurt he had brought.

"His sources are kinda concerning though - I should keep a closer eye on that."

"Why? His books are mostly harmless teenage flicks and encyclopedias. Give him some time," Jongin argued, and Jongdae sighed.

"It's not the books that are worrying me," he replied, looking at nothing in particular. "It's the drama series."

"Huh?" Jongin asked, and Jongdae faced him with new-found exasperation.

"Ever since he learnt how to use the TV screen, he's been doing nothing but binge-watching drama series! And, like, that's great and all, but I feel like the worldview they provide is pretty limited."

Jongin made a gesture clearly telling him to cut Kyungsoo some slack, but Jongdae shook his head.

"Today, at breakfast, he told me that basic morals and ethics are nothing new, but that he doesn't get the concept of consent, because in the series, people always seem to like getting harrassed."

Jongin grimaced.

"I mean..."

"Yesterday, he asked me if french-kissing could get you sick, because people avoid it like the plague on TV."

Jongin choked on his croissant.

"He also can't understand why anyone would be considerate, when being an arrogant alpha male would be the way to getting everything in life."

"Did he say it like that?" Jongin asked, still coughing into his palm.

"Believe me, I'd like to know who taught him those words myself," Jongdae mumbled. For a moment, it was silent.

"Isn't it funny?" Jongin began, his tone much more somber. "There are a ton of pleasure androids who don't even mind their function a little, and then there's someone like Kyungsoo."

"Who would have probably not minded either," Jongdae spoke out loud what might be ugly, but the truth.

"Yes, but he could be more, and he wants to be more and he's trying to understand the world," Jongin argued, and there really was no 'arguing' because he was true.

"Most androids are sentient, and yet some seem... more sentient than others. It's confusing."

"It really is," Jongdae agreed. Regarding Kyungsoo he simply thought of him as a human made of metals, but that wasn't completely right, either. He knew that.

"I think no one's more confused than Kyungsoo himself. Did you read that book about the little android girl?" Jongdae asked, receiving a negating hum in turn.

"Kyungsoo mentioned that book, but I have yet to read it. All of our copies are currently borrowed. One of them by you," Jongin added with a teasing grin, and Jongdae rolled his eyes.

"I'm almost done, okay?"

"What, you're actually reading it?"

"Your surprised reaction feels kind of insulting," Jongdae deadpanned. "But yes, I'm on it. I usually read bits of it before I go to sleep. It doesn't seem to be a book you should read in one go."

Jongin chuckled around his tiny straw.

"For someone who doesn't read, you have a lot of respect for books. Maybe you're suited for your job, after all."

Jongdae flicked a candy wrapper at him.

"What a brat you are. You're probably a terrible influence yourself. Soo is already sassy enough without you."

Jongin laughed, flung the candy wrapper right back at him, and Jongdae would have loved to relax a little longer, like this. Maybe he should invite Jongin over one day.

 

---

 

So far, they had avoided the most popular town districts, but today, Jongdae deemed Kyungsoo ready to deal with the amount of people hanging around the Northern square on a Friday evening. It was the district popular with artists and young people in general, always bustling with life and nice street food. It must be the first time for Kyungsoo to see so many people after that festival they had visited way back. This time around though, he wasn't clinging to Jongdae's side like a frightened puppy. He wasn't yelling astounded 'woah's and 'wow's either, but Jongdae could tell that he was alert, in a positive way. His head kept whipping around, unsure what to pay attention to first. When someone bumped into Jongdae, Kyungsoo was quick to grasp his hand.

"I don't want to lose you," was the explanation he served along with it, and Jongdae allowed it, squeezed his hand a little and then acted as if that was something he usually did - holding hands with his friends.

It seemed as if Kyungsoo's recent obsession was dedicated to clothes. He went from favouring tacky club wear to school uniforms, and now he seemed torn, stopping in front of store windows to scrutinize the outfits.

"You would prefer the scarf the most, right?" he asked, and Jongdae hummed. It didn't look overly warm, but made up for it in length, touching the floor on both sides of the mannequin. For some reason, Kyungsoo wasn't all that elated at guessing correctly.

"But why?"

"I don't know. No special reason?"

Kyungsoo shook his head.

"Clothes say something about a person. Certain styles reveal something about a person's history or character. But what? I can't seem to find the pattern in that."

"Well," Jongdae began, swinging their linked hands back and forth a little, "you'd have to see a lot of people to get a feel for that, and then fashion also changes rapidly. It's not easy to see the connection."

He looked at the scarf a little longer, trying to determine why exactly he liked it.

"I think it's because it reminds me of a cool character in a video game I played before."

Kyungsoo looked slightly horrified at the prospect that menial reasons like that would also have to be factored in, and Jongdae laughingly tugged him along.

They didn't get too far, because a singer caught Kyungsoo's attention. The crowd around him was rather large, but they found a nearby bench and sat on the backrest. Jongdae could definitely see why Kyungsoo was interested - the singer was gorgeous, looking ethereal as usually only androids would, with a clear, pretty voice and precise dance moves. It was an absolute one-man show, until he invited someone to him, insisted until the pink-haired guy from the first row joined him. He was even better of a dancer, and Kyungsoo was captivated. When Jongdae started to clap along, he got the hint that he was allowed to do so, as well.

The singer sparkled, in every sense of the word, and when he announced that he'd already debuted on stage, Jongdae wasn't surprised. He just had that certain charisma that belonged on a stage.

"He's an android," Kyungsoo whispered, and Jongdae shot him a confused look, before focusing on the performer again, who was currently thanking his audience for the great evening.

"Are you sure? I wouldn't have guessed that..." Jongdae trailed off, and maybe he'd see it if they got closer. Kyungsoo was one step ahead, and when the crowd slowly dissipated, he hopped off the bench.

"Can I speak to him?" he asked Jongdae, who shrugged.

"Sure. But respect his wishes if he doesn't want to talk. Remember-"

"No is no," Kyungsoo echoed, and already stretched his hand out, waiting for Jongdae to take it. It was equal parts funny and embarrassing, but Jongdae couldn't deny him. Not to mention that he was also a little curious about the performer now.

He and his friend with the pink hair were packing up, but Kyungsoo didn't let that stop him.

"Hello."

The perfectly friendly expression stumbled a little as the artist got a look at Kyungsoo. Not that he looked unhappy to see him or anything. Just surprised.

"Hello to you, too. Thanks for watching my performance.

"Can I ask you a question?"

He didn't seem to mind the blunt nature of Kyungsoo, either.

"Sure."

Kyungsoo looked up at the much taller guy with an almost blank expression, but curiosity audibly lacing his deep voice.

"Why do you want to become famous?"

It was an odd question, one that Jongdae would only expect a talent scout to ask, and yet the performer didn't seem fazed.

"Because it feels like the most useful thing to do, to me. Aside from high science, maybe, but they got plenty of androids for that already, and I'm not smart enough."

"How is it useful?" Kyungsoo further asked, and Jongdae stepped beside him, shyly rubbing his neck.

"Only if you don't mind replying. He's rather young, sorry."

The performer smiled, and his eyes really were shining unnaturally. No one was that pretty. Had Kyungsoo been right about him not being human?

"I can hear that," he stated, leaning towards Kyungsoo to get a closer look. "But you don't look young. You move really well."

"Stop hitting on him, Lu."

The voice of his friend was soft and yet it felt like a sharp object wrapped in cotton. Jongdae had no idea how he came to that conclusion. The artist only laughed.

"Aww, are you jealous? He's really pretty, in an unusual way. I can't blame you."

"Being jealous would be waste of time and energy, and also I'd rather not encourage you," his friend replied without skipping a beat.

"Boring as ever."

"Say, are you per chance an android?" Jongdae asked clumsily. "This is really awkward to ask, but since my friend here suspected that, I-"

"Yepp," the artist replied easily. "We both are."

"Huh?" Jongdae asked unintelligently, and then the friend stepped forward to shake Jongdae's hand.

"Kim Minseok, robotics developer, nice to meet you."

He shook Kyungsoo's hand next, who responded overly properly. "And this is Luhan, as you might have heard already."

Both of them were stunned silent (though Kyungsoo probably just deemed it wise not to say anything dumb now and prove how lacking of an android he still thought himself to be).

At their dumb expressions, Luhan laughed.

"Wanna go for a cup of tea? Metaphorically speaking. I don't really enjoy tea to be honest," he said, and whether it was a joke or not, Kyungsoo was eagerly nodding before Jongdae had a chance to react.

"Yes, please."

"Your treat," Luhan added. When Kyungsoo immediately looked towards Jongdae (who was asking himself what an android would want to be treated to in the first place), Luhan snorted - a very peculiar sound for an android to make.

"I was joking. Let me pack up real quick."

 

---

 

Instead of a reply, Kyungsoo only hummed. Jongdae, the only one out of the three who had actually gotten himself a drink, took a deep gulp of his soda can. They had found a large bench in a park, not too far from the station and nicely lit.

He was pretty certain that Kyungsoo did not know what a blessing in disguise really meant, but it seemed like he didn't want to embarrass himself in front of the two. Jongdae certainly wasn't going to call him out on that.

"We also just got lucky," Minseok easily admitted. "We were claimed by very rich people who quickly declared us independent."

"Were you adopted together?" Kyungsoo asked right away - an odd point of focus for an android, and just what he'd expect from Kyungsoo.

"No," Luhan answered, waving him off quickly. "We just met per chance."

"And now you're-" Kyungsoo began, but cut himself off. A beat later, he tried, "Lovers. Or friends. I'm not sure."

They didn't laugh at him this time, and Jongdae watched the three androids as attentively as he could, trying to get a feeling for their culture, accommodate to it. Now he was the outsider for once, and he could clearly see how simply reading the atmosphere could consume most of a person's attention.

"Something like that, yeah," Luhan said. "We're not really the type to differentiate, to be honest. We're loyal to each other and keep each other company. Sometimes, it's nice to get a whiff of another life, so as not to get rusty. Figuratively speaking. Minseok would probably go crazy if he spent his entire life at work."

"You don't know that," Minseok protested, but it was a soft protest. They reminded Jongdae of a long-married couple, and once again, he imagined what it was like, to be an android.

"Love and friendship are the same to you?" Kyungsoo asked, clearly reserved.

"To us, yeah," Luhan agreed. "Humans are really weird and complicated with their labels and stubbornness and insecurities and unnecessary drama, aren't they? It could be so easy if they got their together."

"Then they'd be called androids," Minseok dryly remarked.

Jongdae snorted and they all looked at him.

"What? I found that funny," Jongdae defended himself, and Luhan sighed.

"Good. For us, I mean. Sorry, we didn't mean to talk down on you."

Jongdae, who didn't really see the issue at hand, shrugged.

"I mean, what? It's objectively true. I don't think there's anything overly meaningful that humans can do better than androids."

"See? He's on the right track," Minseok commented, but raised his hands in defense at the stare Luhan gave him.

"Then why do you want to be famous to humans, if you think they're stupid?" Kyungsoo asked, picking up on the question that had initially driven them to this bench.

"I'm not saying they're stupid," Luhan began, ignoring the quiet "I am," by Minseok. "It's not their fault. Humans aren't inherently bad, either, and by being a role model that brings them joy and maybe changes only a few people for the better, I'd have contributed well to society. That's my key motivation."

Kyungsoo nodded, but of course that wasn't the end of his questions.

"My doctor also mentioned a key. It seems to be a driving force, is that right?"

"Correct. The meaning of your life, so to say. The purpose, the goal you're going for. Without it, we'd simply exist, until we stop existing," Luhan elaborated, and Kyungsoo hummed.

"Okay. How do I get one? Where do I get one?"

Minseok actually smiled at this, the first sincere smile Jongdae had seen on him that evening.

"You are adorable. Makes me want to protect you."

Kyungsoo shot him a questioning look, and then looked at Jongdae, as if Jongdae was some sort of highly capable wizard when it came to social aspects of life.

"You can have someone give you a key, if that's what you want. The government always takes a helping hand if it's offered," Luhan hummed, leaning back against the bench to look up into the sky. "But that would be no fun, would it? You're given the privilege of a choice, so why give up on that?"

"What if my key is a bad one?"

Luhan opened his mouth when they were suddenly blinded by a flashlight.

"Good evening, random control, do not be alarmed."

Jongdae froze. Two policemen were patrolling the park. Controlling them. Would they check for ID's?

"Good evening," Minseok calmly replied, while Luhan remained bubbly.

"We're just hanging out here. No drugs, no trouble!"

"Sure, we were just checking," one of the officers said, and Jongdae deflated a bit.

"Could we see your ID's? It's really just protocol."

Nope, back to feeling icy cold.

. What now?

"Sure," Minseok said, holding out the inside of his wrist. The policemen obviously expected him to be human, but didn't comment on it and used her device to scan his wrist. Luhan followed next, with a friendly "There you go," leisurely leaning back as he did so.

Jongdae was still panicking. He couldn't think of a single thing to do, and obviously, the other two would just let it happen - because why wouldn't they? They were still strangers.

"What about yours?" the second officer asked, now addressing Kyungsoo.

The android looked at Luhan and Minseok, and then offered his own wrist as well, simply copying what he'd seen. Jongdae actually contemplated taking the blame for all of this somehow.

The officer tried to scan his wrist but came up empty.

"Are you... registered elsewhere?" she asked carefully, giving him the benefit of the doubt.

"I don't know," Kyungsoo replied truthfully, sounding quite helpless. Jongdae had already opened his mouth when someone pinched him in the back.

His grimace went unnoticed by the officers growing more and more alarmed.

Luhan sighed dramatically.

"Of course you're not even registered. Officer, we found this lad and his friend earlier - he's been watching my performance and had never encountered an independent android before. Isn't that right?"

"Yes, it is," Kyungsoo replied obediently, trying to make himself a little smaller by shrinking into Jongdae's side. Jongdae pretended like he wasn't ready to shelter him and backed away just a little. Luhan was up to something. But was this flimsy excuse really enough?

"Well, he seemed pretty harmless," Luhan continued, not giving anyone a chance to interfere, "you see, we think he was abandoned and wiped. There's, like, nothing left in him. Completely unworldly with no traces of memory or direction. But-"

He dragged out the last word as if he had a huge surprise coming up. The officers looked doubtful, at best.

"But... luckily for everyone involved, we already found a guardian for him! Isn't that great?"

"Uhm," one of the officers said intelligently, proving she was just as overwhelmed as Jongdae.

Luhan smiled brightly, and then he was patting Jongdae's knee.

"This guy here is willing. He's a clean citizen with a stable income and no debts. Right?"

"Uh. Yeah. No debts," Jongdae echoed, wondering if it was really that easy.

"This seems a little fishy... you don't need to be afraid to say the truth, young man," one of the officers assured him, and oh. They were thinking that the androids pressured Jongdae into adopting a fellow android.

Jongdae held out his own wrist. He didn't have a chip like the others, but the distinct little tattoo gave out just enough information to function as an ID.

"It's true. Please. You can scan me for lies."

The officer gladly did so, would have probably liked to do that all along - but they needed explicit permission for that, if no charges were pressed. The device was pushed against his wrist rather than hovering above it, and Jongdae didn't have to worry about a lie being uncovered.

"I found him when he was lost, and made him follow me around. He did nothing wrong and I'll take full responsibility. I'm standing for him with my name, and I'll do my best to keep him from harm or from harming others."

"Well. That was a passionate pledge," the officer commented, while the other confirmed that yes, he was telling the truth. Jongdae felt only mildly embarrassed. He'd meant all of it.

"Alright, we'll register you. But you're advised to hand in medical records within the course of a week, or we'll be at your doorstep. Got that?"

"Yes," Kyungsoo and Jongdae said in unison, and Luhan was grinning victoriously.

They were scanned again, both of them, while Kyungsoo profusely thanked them.

"You're really kind, and I'm grateful for being allowed to stay. I will never consciously cause any harm or trouble for Jongdae. I'll learn to be a functional citizen. Thank you so much."

One of the officers - the one typing on her device to get the registration done - just sighed, and seemed rather unaffected and skeptical regarding Kyungsoo, while the other smiled warmly.

"We expect you to give your best," she said, in an encouraging tone.

"I will," Kyungsoo promised. The certainty had a weight to it only androids could carry.

 

When the officers were gone, they exchanged contact information, the four of them. That made six people in Kyungsoo's address book.

"There's you, and then there's Jongin, Chanyeol and Sehun, and now Minseok and Luhan," he listed as they both walked the last few meters to Jongdae's apartment. "Admittedly, I haven't communicated much with four of them, but there's still six people in my life."

Jongdae looked over at him and smiled.

"It's up to you whether you want to stay in contact now."

"I do," Kyungsoo immediately said. "Luhan was right. I can learn a lot from having other humans and androids around me."

Jongdae hummed, and then he reached for Kyungsoo's hand again. It was an odd gesture for him, for that very moment, but Kyungsoo didn't question it.

It was just so hard to grasp that he had officially registered Kyungsoo under his name. He really was responsible now, which was not to be underestimated. But on the other hand, Kyungsoo was a legal citizen now. And free.

"You know, Soo," he began, and Kyungsoo looked at him, eager to get more information than just the sound of his voice.

"I don't want you to feel like some sort of pet. You can be like Luhan. Or Minseok. You can live your life the way you want. Don't feel obligated to stay with me. If you feel comfortable, and want to leave-"

"I don't want to leave."

Again, there was this certainty, and Jongdae wasn't sure whether he felt the urge to show Kyungsoo the world with all its options... or whether he felt a little relieved.

If he were human, or an older android, Kyungsoo might have assumed Jongdae was just offering this to get rid of him. But Kyungsoo couldn't interpret conversations like that yet.

Or maybe he just believed him

"I looked into myself to find my key motivation, after the analyst mentioned it," Kyungsoo began, looking ahead now, to avoid tumbling. "And I found that my purpose, the thing I strive for most, is to find a place to fit in. I used to think being taken home and finding a place of your own would be the biggest reward in life, and then you did take me home, but everything was different. You just gave me a place, but I'm not yet fitting. I want to work on that. Maybe that's shallow and selfish but that's what I'm striving for most."

Jongdae took some time to answer, allowing the words to sink in.

"I don't think it's selfish," he finally said. Kyungsoo shot him a look, this disbelieving look that he had never seen so perfected on an android, but Jongdae shook his head.

"No, I mean it. How would you aim for anything higher if you don't feel comfortable and like a stranger in this world? Getting comfortable first is totally fine. And if you're just content by the time you settled, then there's no need for serving a higher purpose either."

Kyungsoo smiled at that, a small, odd smile that Jongdae couldn't quite interpret. The entrance of the apartment building came in sight as they rounded a last corner.

"It's funny how acceptable that concept seems to me. The idea of simply not serving a higher purpose. It doesn't really make sense. Maybe it's because I grew up around humans."

"Ah, that sounds a little sad and somber," Jongdae lightly said, typing his code in so they could enter. "You'll figure things out, I'm sure about that. And while I might still be kind of clueless - really clueless to be honest - I'm willing to help."

"Don't say that. It's not true."

Jongdae just smiled and waited until they had stepped inside their apartment and the door was closed.

"It's true. I'll have to read up on androids just how you're doing it for humans."

He toed off his shoes, but Kyungsoo just stood there, blocking the way and looking at him earnestly.

"You said you're willing to help, but you are helping already. You put in the effort to show me that there is more to the world than what I saw. And you took me inside your home, for no reason other than kindness. That's the most help anyone has ever provided me with. Its value is so high that I cannot find words to express it."

"You're making me blush here," Jongdae replied with a small smile, feeling enough affection to cancel out his embarrassment. Kyungsoo lightly shook his head, and then stared at the ground and back up at Jongdae. There was no exaggerated smile or display of awe, just blank indecisiveness. He took a step towards Jongdae, and Jongdae could take a step back, but that would back him up against the door. Besides, he wasn't scared.

"I just don't know how to thank you," Kyungsoo said quietly, searching his eyes, his face, for a reaction. "You don't value ual displays of gratitude, and I searched above and beyond, but couldn't find anything that would be strong enough to express my gratitude."

He touched Jongdae's upper arms, cautiously, giving Jongdae time to voice out protest. Then he leaned in, and they really were about the same height. It came easy to him. Kyungsoo was also very pretty up close, the balance between delicate and strong so perfect that Jongdae couldn't decide between handsome and pretty.

Their lips almost touched, with just a hair's width separating them, when Jongdae drew away.

"What are you doing?" he whispered, his heart pounding so hard it hurt. "You just mentioned how I'm not one for ual favours, didn't you?"

Again, Kyungsoo drew back just a little, a deja-vu from this morning and yet everything was different. His wide, clear eyes were perfectly focused on him.

"You said kissing is for lovers. As far as I learnt it, love is the biggest, most valuable reward for humans. I can love you."

Jongdae actually stammered at that - not verbally, but he felt like he had just tripped over something, even though he hadn't moved at all.

"That's. That's not how it works," he finally said, gently pushing Kyungsoo away by his arms, holding on to him. He needed a little space, but he didn't want to full on reject the earnest boy before him.

"Love is so valuable to people because it comes and goes. We can't demand to love or be loved. And I'm not demanding anything from you in return. The fact that you feel grateful is already a reward, but none that you owed me."

Kyungsoo furrowed his brows just a little, indicating confusion, and Jongdae gave up, and pulled him into a hug.

"What I'm saying is we're good. No one owes anything to anyone, and we're just good. I'm sorry I'm no good with words sometimes. Sorry if I'm confusing you."

"I'm always confused," Kyungsoo easily. "Logic says it's more likely on me than the rest of the world."

Jongdae huffed out a laugh, and they were good.

 

"You know, you can hug me back without it being ual. If you want to. Would save me some awkwardness," he joked, and Kyungsoo was ridiculously quick to comply.

Yes, they were good. Not routinely so, by no means, but they'd get there.