PROLOGUE

December 2008

It was a cold and dark December, particularly, the solstice—the shortest day of the year. The sun barely shone, appropriately so. Even the very symbol of warmth and life failed to show its face. All hopelessness and evil had eventually triumphed, it seemed.

Down on the land of the distraught, a ceremony was held, and huddled close together were men and women and a few children in black. Like a conspiracy of ravens, they watched close as the dead was dragged to the site of consuming fire. All the grim and pale faces… they were as lifeless as the soulless body prepared to be cremated in that coffin.

Did she deserve the terrible life she lived? Did she deserve this death?

“May her soul rest in peace.”

They say that about the dead, but they never say it to the living souls in turmoil.

Were they implying that the living cannot find peace?

.

.

Hm.

Amongst the living souls that stood still in the midst of the mourning were three young girls: Soo-Young, Seungwan, and Yeri. Two of them were in middle school and the youngest was still in grade school. They were too young to be in this position—to be grieving over a friend, a sister.

Nothing will ever be the same again.

 

At the same time in a different place, a suitcase was opened and piles after piles of clothes and other items were carelessly thrown in. A girl’s sniffs and hiccups filled the tiny room as item after item was thrown down into the bag. It was not long until she was unable to hold the building anguish.

Then, an inevitable wail.

She fell on the floor crying beside her mess of a suitcase. As she cried all alone, a dear friend’s voice echoed from her memories, “Seulgi, I hope you never get to be like me.”

.. .... . ...............

I can’t stay here anymore.

---

 

 

CHAPTER 1

Greener Grass

 

January 2018

Loud shots were fired in the air. Luminous, blinding sparks flew in all directions, signalling the peak of tonight’s festivities. Screams of horns and trumpets echoed as the night sky became painted by an obnoxious neon puke of everything—the lights, the smoke, the noise, the madness…

“Frohes Neues Jahr!” the people cheered. It seemed the streets of downtown Salzburg had been flooded with energetic, excited celebrants that midnight. Soon, the church bells began ringing, and a small orchestra began to play Strauss as the streets turned into one wide dancefloor. The—

Suddenly the TV screen went black. Slim fingers placed down the remote control on the glass coffee table, and in exchange, a wine glass half-empty-half-full was lifted up to one’s plump, red lips. The glass met her with a light touch, intoxicating her with every little drop of the crimson elixir. But not so much that she was out of touch with reality. It was the opposite, in fact. Her senses were on fire. Every little thing—the air, the muffled noises, the minuscule dust particles, the ticking clock—began to prick her little sensitive being as she sat there on the couch in front of the television all alone.

“새해 복 많이 받아 슬기야…,” she slurred to herself in Korean.

Happy New Year, Seulgi…

“Well, whaddya know…,” she muttered (in Korean) as she tried not to fall into sleep oblivion with her half-open eyes. “It’s already 2018… two-thousand… eighteen… Two-thousand… and eight… Two-thousand-eight… 2008…”

She stopped. Her two eyebrows jerked up, dragging her lazy mono-lids up along with them. Her dark eyes drifted to the wine glass that was still loosely sitting between her palm and fingers. With a little flick, the deep crimson liquid swirled. And it swirled again. And again. Finally, she drank the rest of it and placed the glass back on the table.

“2008…,” she uttered once more. A sigh escaped her lips as she turned her head to the window. Outside, a glimpse of the downtown fireworks could be seen from afar. “…It’s been almost ten years since then. Ten years.”

Finally, her lids dropped over her eyes. She comfortably leaned to the pillow on her side with her eyes closed, trying to gain stability from the effects of the dizzying alcohol. There in the middle of a festive night, Kang Seulgi fell asleep all alone in a hotel in Salzburg with one eminent thought in her drunk mind—the year 2008. Unusual. On a New Year’s Day. In 2018.

There in the same hotel room was a half-open, slightly rummaged baggage lying by the bedside. And on the bed itself was a Polaroid camera, a DSLR camera, and a few other camera parts (lenses and equipment). Getting drunk in her room was never the plan for this lively evening. She had a job to do, and she missed it. She worked for a magazine published in Vienna, and her assignment was to take photographs of the New Year’s celebration in Salzburg for their monthly photo journal. Missing the highlight of the evening could only mean repercussions to her job reputation.

And that’s exactly what happened.

“How could this happen?! We needed those shots! What are we going to publish now?!” The boss yelled at her in German after she got back to Vienna from her failed Salzburg trip.

“I’m sorry” was all she could muster.

“We sent you there on the job—paid for the transportation and hotel and everything—and all you can say is you’re sorry? New Years Day doesn’t come twice a year, mind you!”

Needless to say, that was how she lost that job.

 

And it was all because of a painting.

 

On the day of New Year’s Eve in Salzburg, Seulgi decided to kill some time and spend the day wandering around the city while taking photos. She took snap after snap of random little things: a girl with a purple balloon, a group of nurses heading out of a hospital, a couple walking a dog, a family eating a baguette together, and a bouquet of sunflowers on display at a flower shop—all of which were daily life scenarios. She loved capturing life as it happened. Just like the impressionists and naturalists of the 19th century, she found beauty in simple everyday scenes. They reminded her that there was a bright side to life, which is why they were the subjects of her art. And here in Europe, there was plenty of inspiration and even more opportunities.

As she wandered down the cobbled streets and small alleys, a small art museum housed by one of the older blocks of the city stood before her, beckoning her to have a look. Since she had all the time in the world before the New Year’s celebration, she thought, why not? An artist like her needed to keep looking for ideas and inspiration, and that included learning from other artists. And so, she gladly accepted the invitation.

The paintings in the small gallery were pretty and impressionistic, mostly of scenery and nature, like imitations of Monet and Renoir. As she was leisurely enjoying her browsing, a particular painting caught her eye. It was a painting of a lotus pond under a bright and sunny sky. The colours and the details depicted a serene view with mallards and swans lazily afloat the waters. On the bottom, it was titled “Frieden” or in English, “Peace.”

Peace. What a familiar word.

Peace.

Peace…

Rest in… Peace.

All of a sudden, vague images and memories began flashing before her eyes: her childhood, her hometown, her friends, and the year 2008. Tears fell down her cheeks as she stood there in silence for a few minutes with the word “peace” replaying in her throbbing head. Suddenly she felt nauseated like the world was spinning faster than the speed of light. Life was out of her soul, and the rest of it was drowned by alcohol later in the night.

2008…

2008 was a terrible year.

So it was. For ten years she tried forgetting about that damned year. Why else would she be all the way out here in Austria for? Why else did she work so hard to learn German and to prepare her portfolio in high school? It was all so she could get into an art school in Vienna far away from her past. It was all so she could start over and live a new life. It was all so she could forget. And that was exactly what she had been doing for the past five years here in Europe.

Riding her train of thought induced by her drunk state of mind, she began asking herself, What the hell am I doing here? Am even I happy here?

The more she analysed her situation the more confusing it seemed. She was either better off or just worse. Here in Austria, she was doing everything she ever wanted and it was great. She may have just been starting her career, but it was going well and she was earning enough to get by. During her travels, she has met many great people and experienced many great things. Even her photographs serve as evidence. On the surface, it all seemed as though she was having the time of her life.

However, just as photographs are contained in an artistic frame, there was something else behind the scenes. Beneath the external bliss was a void in her tired soul that could not be filled. The food, the wine, the beer… the flashes, the colours, and even the superficial beauty… none of it filled that void. And yet, she kept herself busy with them. She went to all the important events and exhibitions; she signed up for all the photojournalism jobs available. She created aesthetically appealing art and photographs to distract herself with the thought that bombarding herself “good” things would magically make the negative things disappear. Frankly, all she did was set off on a long lonely journey that physically detached herself from all the people she used to care about. She was so eager to get away from her past and follow her dreams that she left her loved ones behind. It was just on that New Year’s night that she finally realised how lonely she truly had become in the process. When that low point came to Seulgi, all she wanted and all she longed for was to be back home. After she lost that job, she suddenly made a very rash decision. Soon a flight was booked and bags were packed.

“Hello and welcome this is Korean Air flight JH-143 heading for Incheon, South Korea…”

The grass isn’t really greener on the other side. We just think it is, 25-year-old Seulgi thought as she stared out of the aeroplane window. Outside were the empty runway and some dead winter grass. Seulgi sighed and closed her eyes.

Goodbye Vienna. I’m going home.

 

 

Thirteen Years Ago: August 2005

On the summer of 2005, 12-year-old (Korean age) Kang Seulgi stepped out of her father’s car and stood before a quaint edifice guarded by a line of dozens of flower pots and shrubs—the place her grandparents called home. Violets, sunflowers, hibiscus, and cosmos—an array of natural beauty all in one place. It was pretty and colourful—prettier than the rest of the neighbourhood, she thought. Some of the other houses had plants too, but her grandparents’ house had the most in the entire block. No, they were not selling any of those, but it sure looked as though they could run a whole greenhouse. The sunflowers seemed particularly friendly to her, for the bright yellow greeted her like sunshine as soon as she stepped into the low gate. She cordially greeted the plant with a smile and headed into the house.

“Seulgi bear!” the old couple in the house exclaimed upon seeing her. She immediately ran into their arms and gave them the biggest hugs her little arms could muster.

After taking all her luggage into the small room in the corner, her father wiped off the beads of sweat on his forehead. “Well, I guess that’s everything.” He then patted Seulgi’s head and bent down to meet her eyes. “You be good now, okay?”

“I will, Daddy.”

“And what did I say about junk food?”

Seulgi sighed and rolled her eyes. “No junk food…”

“And about the vegetables?”

“Eat lots of vegetables…,” she muttered with barely any enthusiasm.

“Good girl. I’ll miss you, my Princess. But don’t worry, your mom and brother and I will visit often.” After one last hug, he walked out to his car and waved her goodbye. “Take care, and don’t get sick anymore, okay?”

“Okay… okay… Don’t worry about me.”

“Bye Seulgi Bear!”

“Bye Dad.”

When Seulgi was young, she was a weak, sickly child. It was easy to blame the junk food and bad habits and a bunch of other factors, but she had been that way since she was born. She got sick often, but it never really bothered her as much as it did her parents. Then at the age of 11, she had acquired a terrible case of tuberculosis. It was a deadly disease for the younger children, and for a kid like Seulgi, it almost took her life—almost. After months of meeting with scary doctors and drinking nasty medicine, the kid had come out clean and perfectly well. Her parents still worried about her though, and so they made the decision to move her to the countryside to a small town named Yeonsan(연산/蓮山) where her grandparents lived, to give her a lifestyle change. That meant less pollution, less junk-food, less cable television, no video games, and more fresh air and vegetables. It was not something she initially agreed with, but she could not go against her parent’s wishes. All they wanted was for her to be healthier.

Despite all the changes, she was surprisingly easy to please though.

The moment her father left, her grandfather immediately bought her affection. “So, Seulgi how about we eat some bingsoo, huh?” Bingsoo—a Korean dessert made of shaved ice with fruits and other toppings. Yep, with just that one question, she was convinced that she liked it here already. Anything that was dessert could easily win Seulgi’s heart. With just one bite of the icy goodness, she already forgot the sweltering summer heat and the lack of air-conditioning in the house.

Pretty flowers and bingsoo? This place is better than I thought!

However, that happy-camper mode did not last very long. A day later, she realized that the country life was not completely romantic.

During those first 3 days in her grandparents’ house, she had to get creative with her own entertainment. They rarely turned the television on, (there were less than 10 channels anyway and her grandparents did not have a DVD player), and it just sat there in one corner only to be occasionally dusted by her grandmother whenever she decided to clean. The house was pretty small too, so Seulgi could only lounge around either in her room, her grandparents' room or in the empty living room. (The bathroom and the kitchen weren't exactly the best places to hang around.) It became more and more evident with each passing hour that this place was completely, utterly boring. Without technology how did people ever entertain themselves? Talk to plants? (She did not mind talking to plants though, but they’re mute and not very good at conversation, unfortunately.)

The only thing her grandparents had that was actually entertaining was the radio. Since her grandparents only had the radio on most of the time, she figured she should enjoy it too. There, Seulgi sang and hummed along to classics, and would fall asleep on the wooden floorboards while listening to the ballads streaming through the low static.

 

One afternoon, while she was sitting around just singing random tunes, she groaned with a loud frustration that resonated through the house. The odd note did not seem to match her song though.

“Are you okay, Seulgi?” her grandma asked.

“I’m kinda bored.” Good girl Seulgi was no complainer, but it was difficult to keep down her frustration with boredom at this point.

“Why don’t you go play outside after dessert? That would be good exercise for you too. There are some kids who live in the same street. You might meet them out there.”

Following her grandmother’s advice, Seulgi finished gulping down her melon bingsoo and bid the adults in their house goodbye as she left the house for her first adventure. Playing it all by ear, she wandered down a small sloped path in the nearby woods at the end of their street while humming a made-up tune to herself. Down a stack of rocks embedded on a slope, she slowly went step by step, rock by rock, careful not to stumble and fall over. (It would have been disastrous if she unluckily fell off balance at such a secluded, tree-shrouded place.) With every step, the croaks of frogs got louder and the chirps of crickets just the same, while the cicadas continued to dominate the cacophonic symphony. Finally, she hopped off the rocky steps and landed on the grassy base.

Upon looking up from the ground, what she saw completely mesmerized her. There at the far end before her was something shining and shimmering—a crystal blue body of water. The water glistened and sparkled underneath the summer sun, similar to a refreshing glass of blue lemonade. It beckoned her to come closer, inviting her to take a dive into a world of blue wonder.

“Whoa... What is this place? Grandma and Grandpa never said anything about this place...” Seulgi continued taking steps, waddling through the itchy wild grass without even blinking or taking her eyes off the waters. Her young heart beat with excitement and awe, thinking she had discovered the most wonderful place on Earth. The sweltering heat and all the noisy and annoying insects all faded in the background as if nothing else in the world mattered. She was in love. On that very day, Seulgi had made up in her mind that this was her favourite place ever.

As she drifted with the breeze in what seemed to be in the middle of nowhere, Seulgi realised that she was not alone. There was someone else who had come there before her. Standing on the rocky shore at the edge of the lake was another girl. She was taller than Seulgi and a few years older; her slender, teenage figure ever so still; the strands of her soft hair dancing with the wind. The girl stood looking over at the glassy waters with enchanting, longing eyes as if her soul had already left past the mountains and swept by the summer breeze all the way to the other side of the lake. The way she looked over the water like a still frame struck Seulgi as odd, yet entrancing at the same time.

“Um, hello,” Young Seulgi greeted her, watching her soft hair strands sway with the summer breeze.

The girl twisted to see who had made the sound. Her shoulder slightly jumped as if she was not expecting to see anyone here. When she spotted Seulgi behind the low, crooked persimmon tree, she said nothing yet stared at her oddly, as if Seulgi had been an unusual forest phenomenon. Seulgi stepped up stumps and hopped down on dusty earth to get closer to her. When she was close enough, the older girl continued to stare her down. Back then, Seulgi used to have thick, wavy hair that turned into an unruly mess whenever she played outside for too long. Sweat also drenched her entire face and neck. She looked rather ridiculous, but for a young child out on an adventure, her own appearance never mattered.

“Now who might you be?” the older girl asked. She tilted her head to the side and curiously blinked her eyes like a raven examining a glittery piece of rock.

When Seulgi got close enough to make proper eye contact, she was amazed. On the unnie’s porcelain face was her expressive brown eyes—round and sweet like a bunny’s, but not without the slightest bit of mystery and melancholy in them. She’s so pretty, Seulgi thought. I’ve never seen an unnie this pretty…

“I’m Seulgi.”

“Ah… the new girl next door,” the girl muttered to herself. Seulgi heard it.

“You know me?”

“It’s a small town. The street is even smaller. Flower pots, right?” She spoke softly and was too brief with her words.

“How’d you know? I just moved here three days ago.”

“I live next door. Your grandpa gets loud when he calls your name. I hear it often. And I hear you sing a lot.”

“Oh, yeah, ha-ha… I like to sing.” It was embarrassing to think the neighbours heard her. Seulgi never thought her voice would be that loud. “They say I got my singing from my dad...”

Then it was a very awkward silence. Even the chaotic screaming of cicadas could not mask that awkwardness. So then Seulgi asked, “So, what’s your name?”

“Bae Joohyun.”

“Nice to meet you, Joohyun Unnie,” she said with the sweetest natural smile. She was so glad to meet another girl from the same neighbourhood that she almost wanted to get closer immediately. She has not made any friends yet and Joohyun could be the very first one. And she was a very pretty unnie too. That was why she had this huge smile plastered across her face.

The older girl just chuckled at her though. “What are you doing here? Won’t your grandpa or grandma be calling out to you again?”

“I don’t think so.” Seulgi animatedly shook her head. “They won’t call me when I tell them I’ll be out playing.”

“And you’re playing here?”

“I like exploring.”

Judging by Joohyun’s expressions, she seemed to be weirded out by this little Seulgi fellow. “Well, Seulgi, you be careful now. You don’t want to get lost here.”

“It’s okay, Joohyun Unnie, I think I know my way around. I can track exactly where I came from.” She pointed back to the small trail hidden by the trees, then turned back to Joohyun. “What are you doing here anyway?”

She shrugged. “Nothing much.”

“Do you just stare out here and do nothing?” Seulgi had a lot of questions.

“I, um, I guess… yeah,” Joohyun uttered as if she was embarrassed to admit it.

“It’s really beautiful here.” Seulgi looked out to the glistening lake, the light in her eyes dancing with the gentle movement of the waters. Although Seoul had Han River and it was a pretty sight too, the undeveloped natural scene of this countryside had its own unique charm. The sky and the waters seemed bluer, and the grass much greener.

“It sure is.” A faint smile formed on Joohyun’s face as she looked at the smaller kid who was filled with awe at the moment. Joohyun turned back to the water and heaved a heavy sigh.

“Are you okay?” Seulgi may have caught onto the teenager’s melancholic mood. It did not seem right. A beautiful view like this could not possibly make one sigh so depressingly like that.

In a moment, Joohyun smiled a little wider and brought her herself to face the smaller kid again. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” Seulgi continued staring at her. The older started to look rather uncomfortable.

“Come over here, I want to show you something.” Joohyun suddenly grabbed Seulgi’s hand and led her through the grass and low shrubs.

“Where are we going?”

Joohyun did not say anything. The two of them slowly yet carefully climbed up a rather steep slope, until they had reached a slightly more levelled, elevated area. When Seulgi turned around, she was utterly stunned. On that small elevated area was an even more amazing view of the waters. Unlike earlier, the blooming pink lotuses were clearly visible from where they stood—about hundreds of them huddled in clumps like swans with baby-pink flamingo-like heads and deep green bodies floating on the shallower parts of the water.

“Pretty, right?”

“Oh yes, Unnie, they’re so very pretty!”

“If you look over there,” she pointed toward the mountains on the other side of the lake, “you can see ranges and ranges of endless mountains and hills, and you can also see the reflection of the mountains upside-down on the water.”

It was true. Underneath the wide blue sky were deep blue and green silhouettes of mountains high and low, as far as the eye could see. And right below was the same view rotated 180 degrees reflected on the glassy waters, slightly blurred by the light movement of water. “Wow...”

“That’s why it’s called Keoul Lake because it’s like a mirror. If you think it’s pretty now, it’s even prettier at sunset,” Joohyun told her. (Keoul/거울 means mirror in Korean.)

“Do you come here often, Unnie?”

“I try to come here as often as I can.”

“It must be great to see this often,” Seulgi said as she tried to take in the entire view. It was too lovely to just skim through. “I think I’ll come here often from now on.”

Joohyun giggled, showing her sweet smile while affectionately combing the younger’s thick hair with her fingers. “Do whatever you want,” Joohyun said so softly, almost like a whisper. Her voice sounded cool and calming to the ears—the kind that would likely soothe even the most tumultuous of souls. The soothing sound of her low voice matched the gentleness of her deep brown eyes. Seulgi may have felt slightly embarrassed for no reason.

“Oftentimes while I’m here, I like to imagine what it would be like out there on the other side—what it would be like past those ranges," Joohyun softly said while crouching down to sit on the rock. "A different city, a different world, a different life… who knows? Anything is possible, and maybe anything can happen out there. An endless world of possibilities.”

“Maybe dinosaurs?” Seulgi snickered as she sat beside her, thinking about the “possibilities.”

Joohyun grimaced. “I hope not.”

The kid just laughed, knowing very well that dinosaurs do not exist in those mountains, no matter how cool it would have been they did. “Then what do you imagine is out there, Unnie?”

“Anything not scary. No dinosaurs.” For a moment she sounded playful, but it changed back to her usual sombreness immediately. “But you know what they say, the grass always seems greener on the other side… Maybe there are dinosaurs and other scary creatures out there, but I just don’t want to think about them. It’s just nice to think about good things...”

“I guess.”

Then Joohyun added in an even softer whisper, “...even though sometimes those good things may not exist…”

Seulgi honestly had no idea how to respond to that.

The teenage unnie then changed the topic. “So, if you’re from Seoul, why’d you move here?”

Seulgi then told her about her previously frail health and the whole idea of trying to live a healthy lifestyle.

“Huh.” The older girl seemed to have scoffed at Seulgi’s explanation as if it was an outlandish reason to move to this small town.

“Why?” Seulgi asked her, not sure why Joohyun scoffed at what she just said about her health.

“What?” Now Joohyun was acting like she did not make that sound.

“You just said, ‘huh,’” Seulgi mimicked her.

Joohyun shook her head. “It’s nothing.”

“Okay…” If the mysterious unnie insisted that it was nothing then Seulgi thought she should probably just let it go. She did not want to provoke her or anything.

The whole afternoon was just spent with Joohyun doing nothing. Young Seulgi could not have been happier that day, even though they just took slow strolls and sat on rocks without doing much. And though the older girl never really said it, Seulgi got the feeling that her new unnie friend enjoyed her company too. (Or at least that was what she would like to believe.) When it was time for Seulgi to go home before sunset, the two of them walked back together to their little street.

“Unnie, will you be back to the lake tomorrow?” Seulgi shyly asked as they were nearing their home. She had a great time and she wanted to hang out with her again. They were neighbours anyway.

For a while, Joohyun just looked down at her. She seemed to be contemplating her answer.

Seulgi also stopped walking and looked up to meet her gaze. “Well?”

After staring blankly at Seulgi for a good three seconds, Joohyun gave her an answer different from what she thought she would receive. “I don’t know.”

Seulgi's eyebrows shot up. “What do you mean you don’t know?”

Joohyun looked up at the sky and then down toward their house beside Seulgi’s grandparents’ house. Compared to the flowery bungalow house that Seulgi lived in, Joohyun’s house was much darker in contrast. There were no plants gracing the sidewalk and the brick fencing was higher, making it difficult to see what was beyond. It also seemed to be much quieter. In Seulgi's house, they could hear a soft tune playing through the radio and faint taps of what seemed to be a knife slamming on a chopping board. At Joohyun’s house, it was dead quiet, as if nobody was there. It seemed rather odd.

“I probably need to go home,” Joohyun told her. “I’ll see you again, Seulgi.”

“Okay,” Seulgi said, a little dejected that the day was over. “But I can call you out and ring the bell, right?”

“Um…,” Joohyun bit her lip again and scrunched her brows. “I’d prefer if you didn’t.” She looked serious about it.

Seulgi was thrown off. She thought for sure that they had become sort of friends while they were out there in the lake. “Why?”

“Erm…” She looked in all different directions as if trying to look for an answer. “It’s noisy. My little sister might get startled and wake up.”

“Oh. You have a sister?” Joohyun did not mention any of that earlier while they were together.

“Y-Yes.” She trembled just trying to get that answer out. Something seemed… off. Then Joohyun went back to her gentle disposition and caressed Seulgi’s thick mane once more. “I’ll have to go home now, Seulgi. I’ll see you again soon.”

 

***

 

January 2018

“Seulgi!” A man of about three years older waved at 25-year-old Seulgi the moment she got out of the airport. The man’s resemblance to her was uncanny. Same mono-lid eyes, same round face, same aloof expression—it was like someone had run one of them through a photocopier and made minor edits. Anyone with eyes could tell they were obviously related. His personality, however, was not exactly the same. “Damn, Seul, you haven’t changed at all. You still look ugly as hell.”

“Even after finding a stable job at one of the nation’s top companies, frankly, your vocabulary still needs some work.” Seulgi handed him her baggage and went into the sedan. After he finished loading the trunk, the went into the driver’s seat and shut the door.

“Damn, it’s cold out!” he exclaimed.

“It’s good to see you again, Oppa,” she sincerely told him in the sweetest way she could as a sister. “I really missed you and Mom and Dad."

For a second, he flinched at her sudden girliness. Then he patted her shoulder and fastened his seatbelt. “Glad you’re finally back.”

Her brother drove her all the way from the airport to their parents’ house in Seoul where they initially lived ever since they were children (before Seulgi moved with her grandparents). During the whole ride, her brother told her about how he has been doing and how much their parents missed her. After all these years of wandering in Europe, Seulgi felt that warm feeling once again—the feeling of being home.

As they were talking in the car, her brother mentioned something that caught her attention.

“So, you know our grandparents’ house in Yeonsan, right? You did live there for a while back then, remember?”

Of course. Of course, she remembered. She remembered all too well. “I lived there for three years until I was in the second year of middle school.”

“Yeah, that house. Ever since grandpa died two years ago, grandma has come to live with Mom and Dad and sometimes going to our aunt's house, so the house in Yeonsan has been empty for a while. Since then, they’re planning on renovating the place and renting it to lodging tourists and the likes. I suggested that they put it up on Airbnb.”

Seulgi’s eyes dilated as he suddenly pushed the breaks in the middle of traffic. “Airbnb? For tourists? In Yeonsan?”

“Yeah. It’s actually a pretty cool location. You should go check it out sometime. It’s only a one-and-a-half hour drive anyway.”

“Who the hell would want to visit that small town? There’s literally nothing there but grass.”

“Well, since you haven’t been there in the past years, you probably have no clue. The development really changed that place. It’s more like a small city now. It’s actually really nice.”

"Hm."

***

When Seulgi arrived in her parents' house in Seoul, she was greeted warmly by her parents. They held her tightly and kissed her cheeks—her mother even shedding a few tears. "I'm so glad you're back, our Baby Bear!" Seulgi blushed red at how her parents still baby-talked her at age 25. She had not seen them in years except through video chat. 

A feast was prepared for dinner on the night of her arrival, featuring her favourite Korean foods—Korean beef, roasted pork belly, fried dumplings, fried chicken, and more. All this pampering and Korean hospitality left her dumbfounded. "Eat lots, Seulgi! You must have missed all these while you were in Europe!" She was so used to wandering all alone in some foreign land that even her own mother tongue sounded so strange. For the first time in what seemed like ages, she felt genuinely happy. She was smiling. She was laughing.

However, later at night, when she was lying all alone in her old room after the festivities, the mood had unexpectedly taken a dark turn. The moment she lay down on her bed, something strange happened. As she stared at the familiar ceiling of her old room, dreadful images began playing before her eyes.

..,,.

Blood.

High-pitched screams.

A body carried into an ambulance.

. . . ................. 

She remembered.

2008. In Yeonsan. Joohyun Unnie's house.

She was right there, but in fear, she ran away.

She saw faint memories of moving out of her grandparents’ house and riding back to Seoul with her father.

She remembered crying in this very same room all alone.

Guilt. Fear. Regret.

Joohyun Unnie...

.

.

*

In panic, Seulgi tried to break free from this nightmare, but she was not asleep. She was awake—wide awake. There was no use fighting it. When it was over, she dried the tears that soaked her cheeks. She was so frightened that she had not noticed when those tears started falling.

They’re just bad dreams, she reassured herself. They’re not real.

 

 

Author's Note: *The setting “Yeonsan” IS NOT A REAL PLACE. Some parts of it are based on where I currently live, but the place names are fictional. I made it up and everything else in it, so don’t go looking for it in a map or something. Also, I'll be using Korean age in this fic, which is approximately 1 year older than international age.