We sit beside each other on the sofa, and I stare at our reflection on the TV screen in front of us. Kyungsoo is silent, his eyes are moist but he isn't crying. His stare towards the floor is empty.

          I stand up, and pat my clothes. "Do you want some tea?"

          He catches my eyes, and bobs his head slowly. I head to the kitchen, and put out the kettle. As I wait for the water, I recall that the last time I made tea for us both, it was when he proposed to stay here for the first time.

          I bring the steaming cups and hand one to Kyungsoo. He takes it with both hands, and I sit back down.

          As we sip our tea, I'm reminded of something.

          "Hey, do you know that it's a sofabed?"

          Kyungsoo turns to me, and his eyebrows furrow. I get up, and he follows suit. We put our cups away, and I instruct him to push the table farther from the sofa. I skillfully convert the sofa into almost thrice its size, and Kyungsoo looks a bit taken aback. He keeps looking at the stretched sofa once we're done. "I never know about this."

          I laugh, and it's the first laugh I let out in hours. Kyungsoo forms a thin smile, and we settle down and straighten our legs with the cups back in our hands.

          "Why do you hide it from me?" I ask.

          Kyungsoo tilts his head, and fixes his sitting position. After a sigh, he opens his mouth. "I was overwhelmed."

          I turn my body to face him, and scans his face. "Well, now that I know, don't hide anything anymore."

          Kyungsoo leans to the sofa, and looks at me. "You should change clothes and shower. You must be tired."

          I smile weakly. "Do I smell?"

          Kyungsoo silently laughs, and straightens his back. "Let's freshen up and come back here."

          We separate to go to our respective rooms, and when I go back downstairs, Kyungsoo is already on the sofa in his sleeping attire. I go to the storage room near the kitchen, and take out two spare blankets. I head to the sofabed, and give him one.

          "I went home early today, but I feel more exhausted than usual." I mumble. Kyungsoo slips into the blanket, and stare at the ceiling. He suddenly gets up on one elbow, and searches for the clock.

          "It's past midnight. It's Saturday, I guess I can tell you now."

          I'm in the middle of adjusting the cushion for my head when he said that, and I'm a bit dazed. "Tell me what?"

          Kyungsoo lies down again, and puts his hands above his chest. “My mother and father… Who passed away.” He starts. “They weren’t my real parents.”

          I wish I heard that wrong. “What?”

          “They were my birth parents’ friends. My real mother died after giving birth to me, and my birth father got drunk every day and couldn’t take care of me so they took me in.”

          My insides feel heavy, and the soft surface feels too unstable for me to stay still on.

          “As you already know, my parents were against my drawing career. After my army discharge, they want me to go back to university and pursue law, following my father’s footsteps. I kept insisting that I don’t want to. I continued working, ignoring their complaints. I was thinking that if I had good results in my work, they’d be proud. But no. No matter how well I was doing, they just wanted me to stop.

          “One day, I told them that I decided to live separately from that moment on, now that I could afford it. They didn’t let me go.

          “It was our most heated argument, I got angry and blurted out ‘Am I not your child?’ I didn’t expect the answer ‘You aren’t.’ That was when I found out. Rather than surprised, I kept thinking that it was impossible. I’ve lived for my whole life with them, raised by them. I’ve heard people saying that we look alike, down to our habits.

          “I even ran a DNA test, still thinking that they might be joking. The test came back negative. I’m not their child.

          “It was shocking for me, but then I thought that since it was proven that I wasn’t their biological child, might as well as remove me from the family registry and let me live my life. One day, I moved out. They got mad, saying I should at least pay them back for raising me by being a good son. That night, they were driving, trying to find my place… And the accident happened.”

          I gradually lean back to the sofa arm for support, trying to digest all of this. Kyungsoo is staring at the ceiling, his eyes half-closed.

          “I didn’t know what to do back then. They were the ones I know as mother and father, anyway. It even crossed my mind to just… Follow them. But what am I going to say if I meet them again on the other side? Since they died while resenting me.

          "I may look like I'm eating fine, but there's never been a day where the food had any taste. It was too much for me to handle, and I’m not sure how others would react about this so I’m keeping this for myself.”

          So this is what he means by overwhelming. And this sure overwhelms me too, because I’m at a loss for words now. And I thought his parents passing away was appalling enough.

          “I couldn’t go back to the house since it reminds me of them. I continued living at my own place, but I still couldn’t get used to it. So I ran here.”

          Kyungsoo gets up, and sits down. He has an enigmatic smile on his face, and turns to me. “It actually feels good to tell someone about this. I feel relieved.”

          Tears run down my face even before I could realize it, and my heart feels like it’s being grabbed hard by something. I don’t care anymore, and I break down into an ugly sobbing mess. I hear Kyungsoo moving over to me, and pulls me to his chest,

          “Hey, why are you crying? I’m not even crying.” he slips a weak laugh.

          I try to punch his chest, but my lack of energy fails it. “You—”

          “Shhh, don’t cry.”

          That makes me cry harder, and between my sobs I hear loud thunders outside. A few moments later, sound of rain gradually pouring fills the room, and I slowly get silent. I sit straight again, and see a patch on Kyungsoo’s shirt wet from my tears. I’m not able to see his face yet, and I keep my head down.

          “This reminds me of last day of high school, you were crying like this too.” Kyungsoo says.

          I grab the cushion near me, and throws it to Kyungsoo’s direction. He just laughs and catches the cushion.

          “Ah, it’s annoying.” I mutter. I see Kyungsoo’s hand reaching for tissue box from the nearby table, and hands me a few sheets. I wipe my entire face, and show my eyes. “Are you okay?”

          Kyungsoo raises his eyebrows. “That should be my question.”

          “No, I mean—” a bright lightning strikes, and we both flinch.

          “We should lie down, the sofa should block our sight.” Kyungsoo holds my shoulder and gently pulls me down. I lean on my side, calming myself down. Kyungsoo lies facing me, and moves strands of hair that are stuck on my face because of my tears. “Stop now. You look ugly.”

          I have no energy left to fight him, and just scoffs. The rain is pouring harder, and I feel exasperated.

          Kyungsoo reaches to my face again, and takes a small piece of tissue from my chin. “How did it get here?”

          I look at his arm, inches away from my eyes. “You smell like soap.”

          He laughs softly, looking proud. “I just use whatever’s in the bathroom.”

          I belatedly realize how close we are, and I can’t look him in the eyes. He reaches out his hand, and pats my upper arm repeatedly without a word. The rain and his touch makes my eyes heavy, and I give in.

*

"You were sitting on that sofa, telling me child it’s over

So go on stop crying now as you held my hands tighter."

The next chapter would be the last one for this story ❤