For the longest time, Chaewon thought that her death would be filled with suffering and anguish, a constant barrage of every ty thing that ever happened. She was certain that whatever happened after death, it wouldn’t be good. Even so, she developed a sort of indifference to it. Who cared if she died? Life was already hell.

The moment her family left her all those years ago, she imagined that nothing beyond this could be worth anything. Of all the trash in the world, she was certainly the worst. Thus, it was reasonable that she thought her “life flashing before her eyes” moment would be filled with pain. She thought she’d see a replay of that day over and over again, followed by the depressed souls she beat upon to collect payment for her father.

But whatever she was experiencing now--it was very unexpected.

Because instead of the hollow emptiness and creeping darkness, she saw the beauty of what she’d leave behind.

In contrast to her normal attire, she noticed she was dressed in white; it was a long dress, light and airy. It was beautiful, bright, elegant--everything she wasn’t. Somehow, though, it felt right. She felt at ease.

The sun shone overhead, but the day was cool. There was only a slight breeze, enough to make the ends of her dress lightly billow in the wind.

Chaewon ran the fabric through her fingers, noting how much softer it was than the clothing she normally wore. When she saw her arm, she noticed the scars still there. Even in this realm between worlds, she was still scarred and hurting.

She stood in a field, empty except for the blue and yellow flowers that littered the ground. Confused, she spun around in circles, trying to find any clue as to what was happening.

Then, she saw it.

A few feet ahead of her, a little cup in the flowers. As she strode forward, the flowers parted as though making way for a friend to pass though.

When she crouched down in front of the object, a little smile graced her face.

It was just a cup of ice cream, half mint, half chocolate.

When she reached out to grab it, the world shifted around her. Instead of the field, she saw that same little cart in the park where the two had gotten ice cream all that time ago. Chaewon looked on quietly as she saw the two girls together, one smiling and the other acting tough and cold. She remembered that day so clearly, because that was one of the turning points. Although, she supposes that every moment with Minjoo was a turning point, because she felt herself change bit by bit.

It wasn’t anything eye-catching, but Chaewon noticed a little mug on the bench. It was just a cup of coffee, but Chaewon felt drawn to it. When she picked it up, she brought it to her nose and smiled at what she found.

It was that stupidly strong and disgusting coffee that Eunbi always had in her office.

Just as before, upon grabbing the mug, her surroundings changed and she found herself in Eunbi’s office.

It was the first time she had met Eunbi. The older girl had offered her some coffee, and Chaewon thought it wouldn’t be such a bad idea. She was tired, and the sound of caffeine spoke loudly to her.

In her out-of-body form, she laughed a little upon seeing her past self spit out the coffee in disgust. Back then, Eunbi’s eyebrow had twitched upon the reaction, berating Chaewon and calling her a little baby. After that, Chaewon stood a thousand miles away from Eunbi’s coffee whenever she visited. If Chaewon ever pissed off Eunbi, the officer would threaten to shove that coffee down .

Although, she probably pissed Eunbi a lot in the past few months. Oh well.

Oh?

On the desk in front of her is a picture with a single drawing on it: a little bird.

This time, she’s brought to the park again, except now she was years and years in the past.

This time, in front of her sat two little girls with an older woman. The three of them laughed and smiled together, enjoying their mint ice cream and posing for a family picture.

That same picture Chaewon kept in her nightstand.

She watched as little Wonyoung drew a bird in the dirt, smiling brightly at her older sister.

It was their thing, that little bird. As sisters, they promised to keep each other always looking to the future brightly. They wanted to fly, fly far away like a little bird grasping its freedom and running with it. It was hard to pinpoint when exactly it started, but Chaewon remembered the painful nights caused by their father where the two girls huddled together and watched the night sky. They’d see the birds flying this way and that, going about their business without a care in the world. There were no gangs, no violence, no fighting.

They wanted that.

So whenever they drew those little birds, they knew exactly what it represented.

“See? There’s a lot of good, huh?” A voice sounded behind her.

When Chaewon turned around, she found herself in the field again. Around her played all those scenes, showing little snippets of the happiness and light in the life she thought to be so dark and misguided. She saw there were even more scenes now: Minjoo and her in her apartment, sleeping soundly on the couch; playing games with her mother and sister; Wonyoung and her sharing ice cream in Minjoo’s kitchen; Minjoo taking her to her special place…

Life wasn’t so bad afterall.

And finally, her eyes landed upon the source of the voice.

Of course, it had to be Minjoo. She’d recognize that voice anywhere, regardless. But goodness, her heart swelled upon seeing her.

Chaewon missed her so, so much.

She thought about what Minjoo had just said: there was a lot of good in her life. It wasn’t all bad.

She’s right.

“And you know, all these people are waiting for you,” Minjoo smiled sadly.

“They are?”

“Yeah, they are,” she says quietly as she takes slow steps towards Chaewon and reaches to grab her hands. Before they touch, she pauses and looks into Chaewon’s eyes.

“Chaewon, were you happy?”

She thinks for a moment. She looks around her and sees all the joy and laughter, all the smiles and happiness she let break through her facade.

She looks at the girl in front of her and knows her answer.

“Yeah, I am happy.”

When Minjoo finally grabs her hands, she does it with a satisfied smile etched onto her face.

And when they touch, Chaewon is taken away again.

~~~

Just as she’s been doing every day, Minjoo is slumbering somewhat peacefully with her arms folded on top of Chaewon’s hospital bed. She could sleep on the couch in the room, but then she wouldn’t be able to hold onto Chaewon’s hand. The fear is always there, that Chaewon will leave if she lets go. So every night, she makes it a point to stay by her side.

With the sun breaking out in the sky, Minjoo starts to wake. Another day of hoping and wishing for Chaewon to wake up.

When her eyes open and she lifts her head sleepily, she sees their lightly intertwined hands. It brings a smile to her face, but it’s a sad one.

“Come on, Chaewon, hurry up and wake up… The sale on mint chocolate ice cream is ending soon, so you have to hurry up,” she says as she squeezes her hand lightly, just as she does each morning, secretly believing that it’ll reach Chaewon in her unconsciousness.

Minjoo feels the hand squeeze back.

Just as she begins to register what just happened, a hoarse voice speaks in front of her, a bit of laughter and teasing in the tone.

“Oh, I guess we need to take a trip to the store then, huh?”