First Day

 

            “Sigh…” I let out wholesome of my breath. For more than ten times for today, I glanced at the grand clock at the corner. Yup, still three more hours until I could close the café. As I observing my surrounding, I groaned behind cashier table, kind of considering to closing sooner than usual, —after all, today has been indeed a slow day.

            It’s pouring hard outside, —not to mention today is a weekday. No wonder there is not much customer having their nice cup of coffee here. Of course everyone would prefer staying in their bed, tugged with the warmth of their lover.

            As expected, the changing season between autumn and winter is already here.

            I am all alone in this empty room, since today is the day where my sister went to supplier to get our stocks ordered.

            But then again, Yonghee would went rampage if she found out I was nowhere to be seen when she got back later, so by that logic, I should scratch the urge to go home earlier.

            I scanned this whole room, trying to get something—some productive activity that would keep me company until my time is up.

            Clean, tidy, quiet and everything is already in order.

            Still nothing to do.

“Sigh…” probably that was thousand times I let out that frustrated feeling. Still sit on the chair behind the counter, I gazed at the bookcase across the room. Not that much choices of books, but still enough to kill the boredom, or maybe as companion to enjoy self-time with cup of coffee… Thus being said, prolly I’ve read them dozen times already.

I averted my gaze to the box on the top of bookcase.

“Oh crap!” suddenly I realised I’ve something interesting to do. I walked towards the nearest stool and step up to reach the box.

Inside there were two ballpoints, hat, notebook, pair of sunglasses and a spectacles. Each with their own lost date and where it was found tag. It is our café policy to keep lost and found items up until three weeks prior, which usually some items had been returned to the customer during the first two week.

And some would just ended up dusted in the corner of the box.

Whilst I usually never minding whatsoever inside this box, but, —this notebook. This particular notebook has always been in my mind since three weeks ago. I took out the book and put back the stool to where it was.

my phone to check the date, and yup, today is already past the date where it was supposed to be picked up.

I caressed the pelt cover of that particular notebook. I bit my lips as I realised my heart rate going faster. Which I brushed off as the caffeine I had two hours ago finally kicked in.

For once, I couldn’t help but to look at the foremost left table of the counter. I know I’ve seen this notebook… hundred times even.

I know this belongs to her.

Finally after what it seems four minutes at most, still unsure if I could read this or not, I opened the cover book to kill my curiosity. First thing I noticed is how she had such a beautiful hand writing, compared to mine of course. And the second thing is, there was four picture across the what-it-seems-to-be-introduction-page.

On the top was the photograph of two young high school girls with bright smile hands in hands with each other, the second one was what it seems to be her graduation pictures with her families, the third was the picture of another two different young girls, with seems to be from recent date than the first one, and the last was her picture playing with three corgis.

That’s cute…

—The corgis I mean…

Slowly, I opened the front page.

 

6^th March 2012

            Hi there buddy. Err… I don’t know if this is what you want me to do as your last will… LOL, even up until now I don’t even know why I am starting this diary, I mean… You know, it has been two and half years since you go… kinda late to start built everything from the scratch, but here I am. Finally taking my medicine and trying to get better every day.

            Life has been harder for me, in this past years you’ve left. Everything around me was changing rapidly. Things which didn’t worked out well, only weighing my mind so much harder that it should be. The stress had taken over me so much that I sometime would thinking about ending up my life, but deep inside, I know you’ll kill me twice if I did it lmao.

            But as I said this in the first paragraph, I’ll get better and moving on. Moving forward so I could keep my head up when I met you sometime far away in the future.

            And this is burdensome to write every single day. But as I said, I’ll try to keep writing for you.

            I missed you buddy…

 

            11^th June 2012

            Oh wow hello there… First of all, I did not forgot about you at all. No, seriously. I’ve just been busy arranging my social life. Well, you see… I’ve becoming [Everybody’s Byul Yi], quite the nickname actually… they said I’m cool or awesome, which— you know how fabulous I was. I didn’t change that much after you left tho. They invited me to hang out a lot, which ofc I’ll refuse them sometimes… (You know I’m not that really good with people after all, right)

            Oh! Lots of people asked me to be their girlfriend, senior, junior, girls, and boys. Sigh, I know I’ve always been popular lol.

            Don’t worry, I turned them down. Even though some are cute, but I guess I am still not ready for commitment.

            Welp, that’s all for the report. It has been fun talking with you. Write you soon buddy!

 

            27^th June 2012

            Just checking up the things… Nothing unusual from my daily life. Also my father still pushed me to do some errands… And Welp, I guess that’s all I could say for today. Really−nothing unusual yet.

            Wait I actually trying to get healthier, I don’t know I would last for how many session this time, but, watch me hit that gym!

 

            5^th August 2012

            Good day, my buddy… You know today is my beloved girlgroup’s anniversary, right? I still remember how I were so stubborn and you would accompany me when we were trying to cast into SM Ent, as my reason just so I could meet my favs everyday lol which ofc we failed. YET we went to practice to be entertainer back then. Of course reality taking away our dreams, but it’s still a fond memories of me tho.

            Wow, so much for reminiscing old times. Maybe I missed you more than I thought.

            Anyway, I’ve a lot of unfinished assignment to do. As you can see, I’m planning to finish my study earlier. ((Hopefully, I’ll be finished on next year period))

            Please pray for me lol.

 

            1^st February 2013

            Guess what??! This is super out of nowhere, considering how you know me so well back then, and I still can’t believe this myself. But, I got myself a new boyfriend.

            Yes. You did not read it wrong.

            New. Freaking. Boyfriend.

            I mean, considering how I always attracted to cute things, (which basically lots of girls and less boys ((Like you, for example)), not to mention all my ex-es were girls (like you, for example)

            Up to this moment, I can’t believe this myself. Why did I accept his confession? Seriously, why was it?

            Anyway, I’ll update you something new later on. But honestly, what am I expecting from him?

            PS: He is my junior.

            PSS: We are not even in the same dept.

 

            Wait a minute… Did I read it wrong? Or did my mind just interpret her words as I wished it is? I decided to go through again the current page that I read.

Nope. I didn’t… I read them right.

So—she likes girl? Or, —used to—liked? And this diary she’s writing for, — is to her ex-girlfriend?

My mind seriously had so much things to proceed…

Couldn’t wait to know what happened next, I turned over into the next page. I know it has been 5 years passed since she wrote this diary, and surely, lots of things going on in her life…

Maybe she is already engaged with that man, having kids or so whatever,

Maybe she already having a new girl–boyfriend, Wait—it’s not like I intend anything by having that thought, tho.

Actually—scratch that. Just now I feel like the worst human being ever. This is her personal Journal and I just invade her privacy in order to want to know her better?

What kind of creep I’ve become ever since the boredom consumed me in such a way?

All these conversation I keep in my mind as I gulped—tempting to stop reading and pretend I didn’t know anything would be the best idea, after all, this is a real person we are talking about. A.Real.Person.Journal.

—but she gave in to the urge of her first instinct..

 

            22^nd April 2013

            I knew it! I know something is fishy! God Damn, Moon Byul Yi! Remember I told you why I can’t believe myself that I accept his confession??! After all those confessions I had to turn down, but I finally accept one from this guy only??!

            For the love of Goddess sake, he is gay.

            I repeat, He.Is.Gay.

            And not to get any better story, he is still in denial stage!

I mean, maybe that’s why he asked me to go date with him?! But not long after we date, I know something is wrong…

            Idk if people saying gay radar is true, but heol.. It is true… Thus maybe the reason I accept it, now—I am confused.

            We already patch our things and maybe we’ll go on our separate way not long after I wrote this, well… maybe we’ll spare it for few more weeks to make it as a normal break up, I still need to keep my image, you know.

            OR

            Maybe I could help him go through this… Idk if that would help, but maybe I would give him some tips?

            But, he is not bad actually. He is rather shy and he has this cute side too. Thought I could pull this off, but nahh… It is not working so well lol.

            so I’ll just treat this as training daebak instead. (I am not saying that he is a dog okay?)

 

            “Kringg… Kringg…” shocked, I turned my head to the source of sounds.

            A familiar figure entering the front door of the café, holding a dripping wet blue umbrella before she put them into the umbrella stand.

            “Oh, welcome back.” I nodded.

            “It’s unusual to see you did not closing the shop at this time… Even I thought you already left earlier today.” She said while hanging her coat beside the counter.

            I put down the book before looked at the grand clock for the last time for today. The law of “Time really went faster if you have something interesting to do” is apparently right.        Sighed, I glanced at her and moving my things to my backpack, getting ready to go home. “While I was cleaning I found this book in lost and found box. It’s already past the date already. So… Out of curiosity, I just reading the content to kill my time.”

            “I guess the book is interesting enough for you to immerse in it until you forgot to went home?” she teased. I snorted at her remarks.

            It is indeed unusual for me to stay here this late. It’s already waayyy past closing hours.

            “You want a ride?” She asked, while glancing at the nearest window at her right. The rain haven’t stop yet, still its drizzling enough for me to get wet.

            Shrugged, “Yes please.” I answered as I went back to the counter. With smile, “Well, you should bring your bike to garage at least. I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning instead” she said.

            “Yes, sis…”

            Rewind

 

            “I know what to do, Dad. I’ll work on it as soon I’ve finished the other projects… Yes… I know… I’ve talked to them. Yes… I’ll get in touch with you soon…” Long haired brunette girl ended her call. She took a deep breath before massaging her temples. Saturday supposedly her relaxing day, away from all the stress she had been thru for the week.

            After a good few minutes massages while deep in her mind, she decided to open her tablet and went to check her email. “How can I enjoying my weekend if you guys bothering me?” She muttered.

            “Iced long black with extra doppio, for Miss Moon?” A sudden voice startle her. Quick turn, only for her to meet a pair of sparkling dark brown eyes. She smiled and start placing a coaster before her order.

            “Uhh… Yes? Thank you” she smiled back, unconsciously her eyes watching her slowly walking to the counter. Her eyes keep following the other girl’s movement, even after few minutes passed; rather a pleasing view for her to watch her hands, dancing with the manual coffee machine, preparing for the next order.

            Apart from her busy schedules, she is making sure she went to this café at least twice a week, either it is weekday or weekend.

            It is a small café, just enough for forty people at most and located in suburb area, hence its beautiful green view. Well, actually not really that far from city, but you still need twenty minutes ride to reach this place. The coffee they served is also good, even better than the big chain coffee shop in most mall. Also, not to mention their various cake display. Perfect place to have a solemn and peaceful day.

            But that is not the reason she always enjoy her visit to this café.

            Still admiring at the girl behind the counter, she began to scanning her whole being, creepy she thought, but she can’t help to do that every time. Her long black haired, ponytail styled as for today; her chubby cheeks, even though she had rather a petite figure; her cute short fingers, swaying as she run the coffee grinder. Moreover, she always noticing her small mole on her top left eyelid, opposite from hers, the same spot as hers.

            She gently her beloved notebook with a heavy smile. The things that she always carries wherever and whenever she go; the things that always reminding her about their past; but at the same time, it is the thing to encourage her whole life meaning.

            “Enough blobbing” She copped her own cheeks to bring back part of her mind to reality. Slurping her coffee, she began to focus on what was she work with before. All the attention moved to the project she had been planned.

            “Finally she is back to working with her tablet again.” Yong Sun gulped. She had noticed the other girl’s gaze right from the beginning. She saw her staring and had been studying her behavior from the corner of her eyes.

            “Did I do something weird? Is there something on my face?” she thought. To be honest, this wasn’t the first time she caught the brunette girl staring at her.

            “More than I could count with all of my fingers” a crimson shade spreading her cheeks.

            The first time she noticed her stare was not more than two weeks ago. Realising the brunette was becoming a regular in her café, someday a long that time—she caught her red handed when she accidentally saw her reflection on cake display mirror, staring at her.

            From that moment and on, she had to pretend to be busy every time she saw her car—so much familiar as that printed in her memory—pulling to the parking area. Even when the café is not offering any works to do, —which usually she rather use the time with reading or checking on her phone.

            But every time it happens, suddenly she would panicked and try to found meaningless things to do.

            “Why did I do this?” She said it to none other than herself. “I mean, I think I am a quite normal fellow, tho.” She replied herself cupping her own cheek to erase a sudden warmth spreading as some unreasonable reason popped to her brain.

            “Look, Kim Yong Sun. The reason why you are seeking her attention is, maybe you’ve been lacking on socializing with other human being. Which explain a lot why you are conscious about her presences”

            “What? No…! I’ve been socializing a lot you know. Look at the amount of customer here! I have a chit chat with them… sometimes.”

            “Not that kind of things… I mean, “that kind” of relationship…”

            “What?! No way… She is a girl! And…I am also… a girl!”

            “The possibility is always there, honey. Love is diverse.”

            “But… I—” she had to cut off the conversation she had to herself when another customer arrived. Pulling her out of her own mind.

 

            Fifth Day

 

            “You still reading that book?” The older Kim asked, raising her left eyebrow after she saw her younger sister still didn’t budge from her spot from twenty minutes ago.

            “I’m getting into the juicy part.” I said while still focusing on my current page.

            It has been few days since I started reading Miss Moon’s diary, almost finished reading all of them, er… maybe only twenty more pages until I finish reading them all.

            Which I actually could have done it as for tonight.

            —it is not like that I had plan to go somewhere anyway…

            Her life story is interesting, it me in into her world— just as real as I read some light novel by famous author. Started sloppy at first,—like how normal people writing cliché diary; but in the middle, her writing evolving so much more, so good—that it intriguing component would keep me reading them. All the emotion she put when she wrote this, affecting me so much that some other time, I cried for her misery, laughing at her joke that she wrote, or just admiring her cute scribble all around the page. This almost like I already know her for nearly decades.

            Why am I so sentimental like this?

            But sometimes, too much personal information that I received, made me guilty to knowing I shouldn’t read this without the owner’s permission.

            After all, —for hundred times I had to repeating this spell, —she IS a real life person.

            Which remind me, today is embarking exact a month she hasn’t go to the café.

            Usually, she came—I don’t know… Three times a week? Of course there was a time she hasn’t showed up from time to time,—but it was merely last for one and half week. Which either she already had another new place to hang out or she was just busy.

            Yeah… she is just THAT busy.

            “Sis, anything left to do?” I put back the diary inside my backpack.

            “Nope. Do you want to pack some leftover?”

            “What is it?”

            “Tuna baguette and smoked ham sandwich.”

            “Smoked ham then”

            I went back to the counter and heading to garage, before–

            “Don’t forget we are going to Mom’s tomorrow. I already called Kyung Ho as he would taking care of the café for whole weekend, so make sure you grab your things and be ready at eight.” She said.

            I stood behind the door and cursing myself silently. Shoots! How come I forgot I had plans tomorrow? I haven’t pack anything yet.

            Realising my gesture, my sister let out an audible sigh. “You must be forgot about it.”

            Smirking at her remarks, I just waved my hand before slithering my way to my apartment.

 

            Tenth Day

 

            “Oh? Welcome back, Yong Sun-ah.” A tall man from behind the counter grinned as he saw petite girl tucking her hair and tie them into ponytail.

            “I thought idiots can’t catch a cold. Well—I guess I was wrong.” He teased further, earning just a pricking glance from her. He smirked at her reaction and just continued to making next order.

            Yong Sun sighed. Apparently getting overly excited to go to beach in the winter is not really good idea. —not trying to mention she went there with bike ((oh yeah, she loves bike a loot)) —and by the time she thought enough for the sightseeing, the weather said otherwise.

            She reap what she sow.

            All of these reckless action she did—, she still blamed them to the diary she read. Yes, THAT diary of her.

            Miss Moon wrote such a poetic journal about her trip to the beach in winter—as intriguing it is, —her words slowly seizing Yong’s logic, thus that was the reason she had to bedridden for the whole weekend.

            She scoffed off her thought and began to polishing glasses that left out inside dishwasher.

            The café nearly empty—only three tables occupied, as the usual rush hours of the day already passed twenty minutes ago, when finally Kyung Ho remembered an event he encounter when Kim family left for vacation few days ago.

            “Come to think about it, I forgot to tell you. When you guys left, —Saturday is it? Err—there was this woman, she was looking for a book? A journal—diary—or whatever it is, that she left out few weeks ago.”

            The youngest employee in that cafe froze upon his remark. She looked up to him while trying to hid her joy, shock, excitement and mixed feeling(?) about the fact that the owner of book she had been pried for weeks, went to the café while she was gone.

            “And?” She gulped, expecting the older man to continue.

            Kyung Ho just shrugged, “I looked into Lost and Found Box and did not find anything, and said I’ll asked the other employees if they know anything.”

            “She looks really desperate and said she’ll be back on Monday. I recall I’ve seen her somewhere before. —is she a regular in here?” he mumbled the last sentences.

            “Did she go here on Monday?”

            Kyung Ho processing her question into his brain.

            “How could I know? I don’t have shift in that day, remember?” He laughed at her silly question and then went to the nearest table to resuming his duty.

            Yong sun left dumbfounded behind the counter. She bit her lips and placed her hand on the top of her chest.

            It is pounding harder than normally.

            Moon Byul, the character of the book she had read for days, the author of her own life, the real Moon Byul herself finally showed up in real flesh for almost what seemed like ages she had been away—away from Yong sun’s sight.

            This whole new perspective about Moon Byul that she had while reading the journal, make her realise that what she thought it was an admiration at first, developed into much more something further beyond her imagination.

            She knows, but she did not want to admit that out of loud.

            But—deep inside, she knows what it is.

            Rushing to back area, she reached her tote bag and rushing to find her phone. She hurried scroll down to find what she is looking for.

            “Oy—wassap Yong?”

            “Yong, where are you?”

            “I am still in the vendor, they won’t let me b—“

            “When would you come back?”

            “Oh? Looks like someone is missing me?” The older Yong chuckled across the line.

            “Sis, can you just answer me?”

            “Don’t know. Prolly in the evening if the traffic allows me.”

            “Was something happened in the café while I was gone?” Yong sun asked, not trying to make it obvious to the other Kim.

            There was what seems like a long silence—when actually it is that long, Yong sun impatiently said “So?”

            “—well… I don’t think so. Nothing ordinary.” The one in the line answered.

            Yong sun sighed. Loud enough for her sister to heard from the other side. Which earned her more chuckled from her sister.

            “I could imagine your expression even I don’t see you, you know.”

            “That’s it, I’m hanging up”

            “—wait, don’t! I know what you expected! It’s just funny to tease you about it.”

            Younger Kim confused, is it fun for everybody in her life to about something? “Spill everything then” she said.

            “You were trying to ask me about the customer who came to our café to find her lost book on Monday, right?”

            “WHICH book you HAD to bring it everywhere and reading all the time, right?” Yong Hee continued, earning a flushed face that she couldn’t see from her sister.

            “Isn’t she our regular? I recall her family name was Moon?”

            “She was there on Monday, and asking about the book she had lost few weeks ago. She said she already came to the café while we were at Mom’s and already asked to another employee—which I presume it was Kyung Ho—as what Hyuk Gi said he didn’t know anything—“ in this point, Yong Sun just had to hold her breath. Her heartbeat won’t go slower at each word she heard.

            “And—well, I said that you had it on; but you were sick and had to stay at your apartment. She seems relived and said would come back later in this week.”

            A long pause passed after.

            “Just like that?”

            “Yeah, just like that.”

            “Oh! I have to go. They are waiting. Bye Yong.”

            “Ok, thanks Yong”

            Yong Hee hung up first their brief call.

            Yong Sun bit her thumb and try to analyze the ed up situation she had created herself.

            “Miss Moon know that I had it with me, which means, —that, —the thought of me reading her personal diary of course would be crossed to her mind.” She began.

            “What if when we met, —she would see me as a cr-creep?”

            “—I mean, there are a lot of PRIVATE information in there. —wait scratch that, —Of course there would be a lot of private information, you ! It’s her diary!”

            She scratched her head and searching for that important-forbidden item, when a sudden horrific realization hit her.

            She left the book in her apartment.

            Panicked Yong Sun rummaging her tote bag once again, still it wasn’t there at the first place.

            “! She could be here anytime soon”

            She rushed to the café, banging the door in proses— which startled some guests and Kyung Ho who stood up near the counter.

            “Yong Sun! Wha—”

            “I’ll come back later!” She cut off his word and went to garage, grabbing her bike and heading towards the main road.

            Or what she seemed to thinking she was.

            Because she just frozen in beside her bike, when she saw a familiar figure, familiar face— that just get off and pressed her car key, earning a beep from that familiar car.

            “Oh…”

            “—Oh”

            Coincidentally, in that moment, the sun decided to cover the moon in its warmth in perfect straight line.