“Not enough,” the loan shark commented lazily as he threw the small wad of cash at the ground.

“What? It’s always been this amount. It’s all right here!” Yuri fired back, stuttering a little.

“Nope. Didn’t you hear? Your rate was raised. Big Boss feels like he’s been too easy on you,” he replied while admiring his nails.

“I don’t have enough money! I don’t make that much as it is-”

He threw a punch at her stomach, breaking his calm demeanor.

“Listen, kid. I tried to be all cool, but you’re seriously pissing me off. Get me the money, okay? Since I’m a nice person, I’ll let you off this time, but I expect a thicker wad next time.”

He walked away, whistling.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How am I supposed to get the money?

Yuri was already working as much as she could, spending as little as possible, even if it meant her starving 95% of the time.

She was curled up on the floor, her back against the wall and her head buried in her knees.

There was no way she’d anger them further and risk them going after her family. Everything she did was to protect them. But how would she get the money?

She froze.

She swallowed harshly, knowing exactly how she was going to make the money.

She deserved what was coming to her, anyways, so it was all okay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a certain alleyway that some people knew about, the things that went on down there. A narrow road connected one end to the other, the only other entrances being the backdoors of ramshackle apartments. It was a frightening-looking place, so no one ever went down there, especially if they knew about the things that went on down there. Yuri certainly never went down there.

Until today, that is.

It was dark and raining enough for Yuri’s bangs to stick to her head. She shivered, not really having any clothes for weather like this.

If she were to be honest though, she was shivering for a different reason entirely.

She stood in front of the entrance to the alleyway, looking out into the darkness as she braced herself.

I’m sorry.

She entered the alleyway and didn’t look back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She made her way deeper into the alley, coming across scantily-clad women despite the cold weather. Most were cooing and hollering at the men that walked around the alley, looking for some fun for the night.

Or maybe some of them needed money.

Yuri could certainly relate.

A bit in front of her, a man, looking in his 20s, met her nervous gaze.

Yuri started to shake as he approached her.

He stopped in front of her, grinning like a madman.

“You’re mine tonight, sweetie.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She started to cry a little less afterwards, when she got home and fell to the ground feeling disgusted and ashamed.

She’s done it so many times so far she thinks she’s almost numb to it.

(She knows she’s lying to herself.)

She’s glad that she has the money, at least. If she works hard enough, she can afford some food on good days.

She cleans herself up and stares into the mirror.

She takes in her red eyes, her hollowed face. She can’t even recognize herself anymore.

Yuri tilts her head up, looking at the choke marks lining her neck.

She gulps.

This was her reality now.

But her family was safe.

Yena was safe.

And that was all that mattered.

Still, that didn’t stop her from crying herself to sleep, wrestling with the memories that always came back to haunt her in her darkest hours, reminding her of what will never be again.

She thinks about Yena’s grinning face, her comforting smile.

The image is always broken by the memory of that day. The screaming, The yelling. The anger.

I’m so, so sorry.

She cries, alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yena’s doing really well these days. She was truly surprised to find that she was able to cut Yuri out of her life so quickly and easily. A true blessing, really.

Except Yena was 1000% lying.

She thought it would get better over time, but it just got worse. It wasn’t hard to sneak glances at Yuri as the girl always had her head down. God, how she just wanted to talk to her and hug her. She held herself back every time, but just barely. She knew she was losing her will.

With each passing day, she thought of herself as more and more stupid. Some days, she can’t believe that she did what she did. The image of Yuri’s scared face, scared because of her, staring straight at the ground, shaking.

It haunted her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey, dad,” Yena manages one night.

“What’s up?” Her dad says casually, watching TV.

“If you were able to meet the people that put you in the hospital two years ago, what would you do?”

Her father paused for a few beats before picking up the remote and muting the TV.

Without looking back at her, he responds, “I’d ask them how they’re doing. Maybe ask them out to lunch whenever they’re able. Tell them it’s okay.”

Yena doesn’t know what to say.

Silence fills the room, until, finally, Yena asks, “Aren’t you angry?”

“No,” he turns around and motions for her to take a seat next to him, waiting for her to settle before continuing. He looks straight into her eyes.

“You know, they knew the cops were after them. They were running for their lives. They hadn’t hurt anyone; I was an accident. They could have left. Instead, they immediately stopped, no hesitation, and ran to help me. They apologized over and over again, trying to do all that they could, tears streaming down their faces.

“And I looked at them, looked into their soul, it felt like. The sadness and exhaustion, the fear, the guilt--it was all there, right in their eyes. At that moment I knew that this crime, if I dare call it that, was not an act of selfishness, but one of selflessness,” he whispered out the last bit, getting emotional. He truly, truly wanted the best for them despite what had happened.

He studied Yena as she took in his monologue. At that moment, too, it felt like he was looking into someone’s soul.

How raw, how desperate, how guilty--

--he could see it.

That was the last thing Yena needed to shatter her facade.

“Dad, I made a mistake.”