The loud clanging of the bell rang in the barracks, waking up the occupant of the room from his sleep. He straightened up, letting the sheet slip along his muscular shirtless chest and with a yawn, slid his feet on the cold tile, making him shudder. He stretched, arching his back and wincing as his spine cracked.

 

A knock on the door shook him out of his drowsiness.

 

-Yes?

-Major Jung, General Choi asks for you in his office.

With a sigh of resignation, the major stood up and headed for the shower.

-Thank you cadet.

-Have a nice day Sir.

 

As the water ran down his skin, soothing the tugging and chasing the tiredness of his muscles, his thoughts wandered to his family, which he had left for too long and was sorely missed. He thought of his children who had grown up and matured without him.

The eldest, Jiyool a carbon copy of him and future model with a strong character, and with only ten months apart is Minha, his little actress of eight years old, who was eager to follow the steps of her mother and sister in the modeling scene, Yoochun six years old, mischievous eldest son and talented pianist if only a little less lazier, Junsu three years old the little sunshine of the house, never without a ball at the foot and finally the youngest who would have grown the most during his absence, Changmin who was two months, already knew how to be respected with good lungs and a wet doe gaze inherited from his mother. Mother that the baby refused to let go and for good reason, it was his source of food.

 

A tender smile stretched his lips as he thought of his wife, the person without whom all that happiness wouldn’t exist. As cheesy as it may seem, Jaejoong was his everything, his world and it was inconceivable for him not to have him in his life. His luminous personality, his irresistible smile, and his natural kindness even his grimace of annoyance had attracted him during their first meeting. A year later he had made his proposal (marriage proposal) they were young and may have rushed their marriage, at least that's what their parents had thought, but he never regretted his decision.

 

He turned off the water, got out of the shower and grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist. He wiped the condensation off the mirror. What was reflected there made him cringe. His face was pale and tired, dark circles underlined his eyes, his lips were dry and cracked and a black hematoma deformed his right cheekbone. Eight months away from home had aged him both physically and mentally.

To add to his weariness it had been seven months since he lost contact with his family, the multiple attacks had forced them to leave the main base and they had taken refuge in a ghost town, where they had established a temporary headquarters in a former barracks, with the bare minimum and not including a telephone, or a Wi-Fi network without any means of receiving any possible mail. His only comfort in his moments of weakness was the family photo that Jaejoong had sewn inside his uniform jacket and wedding ring with the tender "always yours" engraved on the inside.

 

He turned his wedding ring around his finger before raising his head, he threw a determined glance at the mirror and vigorously left his room.

 

The corridors of the barracks were swarming with soldiers, each of whom saluted him respectfully as he passed, and in spite of his fatigue he took the time to answer each greeting and even answered a cadet a little too enthusiastic to meet him in person. He knew that as a Major he was often admired by young recruits, not to mention that he was married to a popular international star.

 

He ignored the cafeteria despite his growling belly and continued his journey while wondering about the sudden desire of his superior to meet him. The massive door of General Choi's office faced him, and he knocked firmly.

 

-Come in.

 

He slipped silently into the room.

 

-General, you asked for me?

 

The general was a massive man with pepper-salt hair, clean-shaven and severe-faced, who was in complete contradiction with his soft eyes and understanding personality. He was leaning over a pile of paperwork and did not look up until he finished.

 

-Ah, Major Jung, sit down please. He waited for the man to move on to continue. I have good news for you.

 

Before the Major could question him, the General said with a big smile:

- The ceasefire has been accepted, you and your squad are no longer needed here, and you will be repatriated in the next hours. Go home and embrace your family. You deserved it. Go prepare your things now.

 

And with a gesture of his head towards the door the General resumed his work, ignoring the Major who bows to thank him and leaves the room.

 

***

The screaming howl of the baby monitor sounded in the room, waking up the occupant of the room. With a sleepy groan, he sat up and looked at the time, 5:58. Too early. His head fell back onto the pillow, he closed his eyes and began to go back to sleep when the monitor sizzled and a baby's cry echoed back into the room. Sighing deeply, he resigned himself to getting up.

 

Pushing back the quilt, he put his feet on the warm floor and with a grunt of effort stood up. He grabbed an old sweater from his husband's and put it on his bare chest.

 

The corridor was silent when he crossed it and he mentally thanked his husband for having soundproofed the baby room, otherwise the whole house would have been awakened by the screams of the youngest.

 

When he arrived in the nursery, he found his son climbing his crib, one leg thrown on the bars, the other hopping on the mattress, seeking the impulse to pass over the cradle. He could not help but stare at the door frame and watch the toddler's ride with amusement. He finally decided to react when his son tumbled dangerously to the ground, promising a painful fall. In two long strides, he joined the baby and raised him in his arms.

 

-Mama! The child yelled surprised and delighted to see his mother.

-What did you try to do Minnie?

-Mamma ... he chanted passing his little arms around his mother's neck.

 

Shaking his head in exasperation and amusement, he left the room, his son cradled comfortably in his arms, to go to the kitchen and feed the baby before he had to go wake up the rest of the family to go to school.

 

The child babbled and made big gestures as he settled in his high chair, he could only smile and nod his head in agreement even if he did not understand everything.

His son was busy talking and playing with his doudou (toddler favorite plush), he quietly prepared his bottle while humming unconsciously to one of his songs. A tender smile stretched his lips as he handed the bottle to his son who hastened to catch it and gulp down his milk. With a kiss on the child's head, he went back to his kitchen, this time to prepare breakfast for the older ones.

 

Ten minutes later, the pleasant scent of the toast and fried eggs filled the room, irreparably attracting his younger son, little feet were heard on the floor and Junsu appeared in his pajamas covered with soccer balls and a spiky bed head. A big smile on his lips, he turned to his son:

 

-Hello Junsu, sleep well?

 

The little boy nodded his head before asking for a good morning hug, which he granted without hesitation.

 

-Su! Shouted Changmin, releasing the teat of his bottle for a moment.

-Day 'Minnie! Came the energetic answer.

 

Junsu approached the table and raised his arms towards his mother silently asking to be seated at the table. A grunt of effort later and the little boy sat comfortably on the bench.

 

-It will be necessary that you learn to go up alone on the bench Junsu, you’ve become heavy to carry.

 

Seeing the vexed face of his son, he hastened to add:

 

-To do like the grown-ups, you're a big boy now.

-Like Chunnie?

-Yes, like your older brother. Speaking of Yoochun, he's still sleeping?

 

He asked, putting down breakfast in front of his son.

 

-Hm, I shook his shoulder but he just made "grr sleepy".

 

-Why am I not surprised, and your sisters?

 

A shrug of his shoulder answered him. With a sigh, he switched off the gas, put everything on plates and set the table. Changmin had finished his milk while Junsu was just starting his toast. He glanced at the kitchen clock, six twenty-five. No more time to wait.

 

Holding another sigh, he wiped his hands on his apron before removing it and hanging it on its hook, he re-checked that he had turned off the gas, before moving away from the stove to get his youngest to whom he cleaned the face, removed the bib, put the empty bottle in the sink and finally got the toddler in his arms before laying him on the floor.

 

- Now, we'll wake up the rest of the house, finish your breakfast.

 

Junsu nodded as he tried to take a bite of his eggs, which slipped pitifully from his spoon.

 

Changmin made a few faltering steps before settling down.

 

 He took one of his little hands in his, and together they left the kitchen to wake up the older ones.

 

They started in the girls' room, the room was dark but not black and he could easily see the shape of his daughters, Jiyool wrapped in her duvet, only feet and hair visible, Minha on the contrary had rejected her blankets and her body was uncomfortably twisted in her sleep.

 

Laughing softly, he approached and laid Changmin on Jiyool's bed as he sat on Minha's bed. The toddler tapped the cover pile energetically, drawing a groan from his sister who stirred while being careful not to tip Changmin off.

 

Seeing his eldest daughter waking up, he gently the tangled brown hair of Minha. She blinked and her brown eyes found her mother's gray ones.

-Ma 'hool'? (School)

 

He nodded before getting up.

 

- Breakfast is ready, Junsu is already at the table, I’ll let you get up quietly, I'll wake up Yoochun, ok?

Jiyool hugged Changmin and smiled a sleepy smile at her mother while Minha claimed a kiss.

 

-Ok. They answered at the same time.

 

Recovering his youngest, he left the room, arrived in the middle of the hall, he was dizzy and had to rely on a dresser to not lose balance.

 

-Ma’? Changmin asked when he felt the arms wrapping around him falter.

 

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He put Changmin on the floor.

 

-It's nothing Min, I'm just tired, are you going to walk a little bit?

 

The child nodded but his gaze did not leave his mother's leaning figure. Noticing him, he straightened up and flashed a bright smile.

 

-Will wake up your lazy big brother!

 

The boys' room was dark and the only source of light was a small dolphin-shaped night light. Yoochun was curled up over his blankets, wrapped around his pillow, the morning air made him shiver and he sighed in exasperation when he saw the window wide open, the shutters were closed but the air flowing and although it’s summer, the mornings were sometimes chilly. Yoochun had inherited one of his bad habits, he smiled while thinking of his husband who was grumbling every time he opened the window when they were in the middle of winter.

 

Changmin did not wait for his mother and trotted awkwardly to his brother, whom he tapped with all his strength.

 

-Let me Su 'or I'll tell Mom that it's you who broke his porcelain elephant.

 

Raising an eyebrow, he squatted next to his children and pricked a soft cheek, he laughed when a sleepy eye watched him before Yoochun suddenly stood up, jostling Changmin who would have fallen to the ground without his maternal arms.

 

-Umma!

 

-Stop, darling, you're going to make your brother fall.

-Min ouchie! Exclaimed the brother, pointing to an imaginary wound on his elbow.

 

He shook his head.

 

-No baby, no ouchie just a fright.

 

 He turned his attention to his eldest son who was still staring at him.

 

- Get up, lazy, everyone is up and already having breakfast.

 

-Junsu did not...

 

Yoochun stammered, trying clumsily to catch up with his accusation.

 

-It's not the subject and it's only porcelain, I'm just glad that none of you are hurt, although next time I want you to come and tell me right away, not of secretiveness in this family understood?

 

After the affirmative nod, he got up and went to open the shutters.

 

-Changmin come, I'll change you and get dressed, and Yoochun hurry up to get up.

 

Changing a ten-month-old called for experience and skill that he did not miss with four other children, but Changmin was one of the most difficult, constantly moving and not enjoying being too little to dress alone, so when he put him on the changing table, he was not surprised to have to hold the toddler with one hand on his legs while the other undid the diaper. However, he did not expect to find himself lying on the floor, a toddler screaming to death and gesturing like an earthworm. After a vicious kick at his belly, he unintentionally dropped Changmin who rolled off the table and fell to the ground, the scream of anger turned into pain and he froze for half a second before rushing to his son only to be stopped by a new dizziness that made him completely lose his balance, he managed somehow to hang on to the changing table but his head was spinning and dark spots tainted his vision. Panicked, he shouted:

 

-Jiyool!

 

Immediately, he heard the footsteps rushing to the bathroom, a second later, and the whole family burst into the room.

 

-Umma! Exclaimed Minha, running to her mother, Yoochun followed her closely.

 

-It's nothing, take care of Changmin, he fell off the table.

 

Jiyool quickly assessed the situation, Minha and Yoochun were taking care of Umma who seemed barely conscious, body trembling while Changmin was curled up on the floor in tears, deciding that her screaming little brother was the priority, she crouched down next to him and gently touched his shoulder.

 

-Min, hush calm, tell me where you’re hurt?

 

-Umma...! Moaned the toddler, raising his head, exposing a rather impressive bump in his forehead.

 

Jiyool calmly observed Changmin's body, checking for another wound, finding none she took him in her arms and turned to her mother who had leaned back against the wall and sat on the floor with the help of Minha and Yoochun. Junsu was close to tears at the entrance to the bathroom.

 

-Umma, Minmin is fine, just a bump, I'm going to put cream on him, you just have to calm down and breathe.

 

When she saw her mother's eyes, she sighed and dropped Changmin into her mother's arms. She could hear her mother's sigh of relief as the toddler snuggled into the comforting warmth and the sobs gradually subsided.

 

-Umma! Minha warned, when he got up hard from the ground, the black dots had disappeared from his vision but his body was shaking. With a quivering breath he spoke:

 

-It's okay, it's over, Jiyool is going to get you ready and help Junsu and Yoochun to do the same. Minha, please bring me the arnica.

 

Although reluctant, each child followed the instructions, he thanked Minha when she handed him the tube of arnica and sent her to prepare.

 

He carefully spread the cream on Changmin's forehead while gently rocking him. The baby sniffed a few times and clung firmly to his sweater but no sound came out of his throat.

 

-Shh, it's finished baby.

 

Changmin buried his nose in his mother's neck and clung even more tightly to the sweater when he felt himself sitting on the changing table.

 

-Min, I must finish getting you dressed and take care of your brothers and sisters.

 

The child shook his head.

 

-Changmin please, I'm tired.

 

The grip tightened and he thought he heard the creaking of the seams.

 

-Baby, we do not have time for that, so let me finish getting you dressed and do not shrug, you can hold my sweater but let me move, I promise you that you can hang on to me as much as you want after, how is it ?

 

At last the little fists loosened their hold and he was able to finish dressing Changmin without interruption. He left the bathroom with relief, Changmin clinging to him.

 

He mentally thanked Jiyool when he found the kitchen cleaned, so he went to the children's bathroom and smiled tenderly as his two elders helped the younger ones in their clothes. Jiyool and Minha were fully dressed and combed, Jiyool was helping Yoochun with his socks while Minha was helping Junsu with his head stuck in a T-shirt. Placing Changmin on his left hip, he joined Minha and helped her dress Junsu, who laughs when his head emerges. They finished preparing silently when with an innocent question Junsu broke the calm:

 

-When Appa comes back?

 

The silence was deafening.

 

Jiyool narrowed her eyes, unwittingly copying her father's grimace of annoyance, Minha opened to answer without knowing what to say as Yoochun lowered his head.

 

Junsu looked hopefully at his mother.

 

-I do not know Su ', we've already discussed it, your dad's job is very important and can sometimes take him away from home for an indefinite time.

Junsu nodded understanding and the question would have remained there if Changmin had not asked:

 

-Appa?

 

-Yes, baby, Appa.

 

-Appa here!

 

-No, daddy is at work.

 

Anger appeared on Changmin's chubby face.

 

-Appa!

 

Shaking his head, he tightened the baby in his arms, trying to chase away the pain in his heart each time one of his children asked after their father.

 

-I'm sorry daddy is not here.

 

- He's never here! Screamed Jiyool.

 

-Yoolie!

 

-But it's true, he's never here and the only time he is, he spends days sleeping or being halfway with us, and then finally he leaves for months without news. I'm sick of it, I do not want a ghost for a father.

 

-Jiyool it’s his job and it's very difficult for him.

 

-And then you, you're all alone at home with us five, you do everything, cleaning, cooking, you take us to school, you take me to my castings, you take Minha on the set, Yoochun to his recitals, Junsu to his trainings, you even take Changmin to the Park and you work on your songs, plan concerts, you even repeat from time to time with your group, you give advice and lessons at home (teaching) , you do not never stop and all for what? For Appa who is not there? For us who do not give you anything, but problems? And US? My teacher says I should be proud that my father is a soldier, he defends with honor his country, but what I see is a painful emptiness and a tired and busy mother and yet a thousand times more present than this man Changmin does not even know! All my friends talk about their fathers, "my father did that" "we went together to such a place", "he said that ..." And all I can say is, he is not there but I am proud to say that he defends his country more than his family!

 

Jiyool wiped her cheeks and sniffed, tears streaming from her eyes and did not seem ready to stop. Minha looked horrified at her sister and yet tears filled her eyes, Yoochun and Junsu had their hands intertwined and everyone sniffled loudly, Changmin was confused but his calmness showed his understanding of the tension.

 

He did not know what to say and Jiyool did not give him any time.

 

-I want an Appa home, who will play football with Junsu, who will come to Chunnie's recitals or Minha shootings or even one of my parades, who will take care of Changmin's moguls and who will congratulate us by hugging us, I want to see you smile and laugh like on the videos before your wedding, I want my Appa!

 

She burst into tears and all the siblings followed even though Changmin was just following the "movement".

 

He took a deep breath to keep him from crying too and crouched as he opened his arms, Jiyool threw herself first, Minha and the others followed shortly after for a family hug.

 

Over the heads of his children, he could see the clock and although he know they were late for school, he closed his eyes and tightened his grip.

 

***

He had barely stepped into the exit of the boat room, he found himself crushed against a familiar muscular chest. With an emotional laugh, he dropped his bags and returned the embrace.

 

-It's so good to see you again! Declared his brother with emotion.

 

Jung Jihoon was his two years older brother and they had always been very close. Fortunately, because after the disappearance of their parents Jihoon then a young adult, had to take charge of his little brother and to say that the beginning with a teenager in crisis was not simple was a euphemism. But this trial had brought them together as never before.

 

A last tap on his back and his brother pushed him gently to observe him.

 

-You look better than I expected, although you seem to have changed.

 

With a tired laugh, he ran a hand through his hair.

 

-Happy to know that my dark circles do not repel you Hyung! And far from me not appreciating your company but I must admit that there are people I really want to see again.

 

Laughing, Jihoon picked up one of his bags and put an arm over his shoulders while directing him towards the exit of the airport.

 

- I'm sure, your wife and your children are not aware of your return, I thought to make it a very welcome surprise.

 

Immediately, the anxiety infiltrated him.

 

-Everyone is well? Jaejoong? Children?

 

When his brother did not answer right away, he stopped to look into his eyes, Jihoon did not look sad or sorry but a glimmer of worry lit his eyes.

 

- Will you answer me?!

 

- Yunho, calm down, everyone is fine, just your absence that was beginning to be felt on the morale.

 

After a sigh of relief, he resumed his ascent to the exit.

 

-Yeah, that weighed on me too, you can’t imagine how much I missed them and how impatiently I wait to be able to surprise my loves.

 

He passed the automatic doors and looked around for the car, so he missed the concerned look his brother gave him and the phrase lost in the wind:

 

-I am not sure who will be the most surprised to see each other dongsaeng.

 

***

He had finally had to call Micky his bassist and Yoochun's godfather to take the kids to school, the dizziness was not over and he did not feel able to take the car.

 

Speaking of the devil, the bell with the rhythm of "creation" sounded and he heard

 

Jiyool open the door.

 

-Uncle Micky! She screamed happily.

 

-Yoolie! Answered a deep voice a little hoarse but just as happy as Jiyool.

 

-Uncle Micky, Umma does not feel well, you have to be a man and take care of Umma, she said very seriously.

 

Micky burst out laughing as he entered the spacious living room, followed by Jiyool, where the whole family was gathered, ready for school.

 

Yoochun ran to his godfather and climbed on him like a little monkey.

 

-Hi, said Micky, grabbing his godson and holding him in his arms to give him two big kisses on his cheeks.

 

Soon all the children asked for their share of kisses and once all distributed Micky turned to the one person still sitting on the sofa.

 

-Hey intrepid singer, seems that I must be a man for you! With a wink of amusement, he stooped to wrap his singer in his arms.

 

He returned the hug while laughing.

 

-Hey, lazy bassist, take the kids to school before they are more late than they are already, when Micky did not move, he whispered, I'm fine, really, just tired , nothing that I cannot handle alone.

 

The bass player drew back and looked skeptical.

 

-How long do you plan to continue like this?

 

Even though he understood the question, he asked:

-Continue what?

 

-Do not play with me Jae, you're physically falling apart and the kids are worried about it, you have to rest, stop working at least, tell your students that you’re taking a vacation, and at this rate you will not hold long in your state.

 

-No need, I'm alright.

 

-But until when?! Until you find yourself in the hospital? But damn, nothing forces you to work, why do you exhaust yourself to the point of fainting?!

 

The last tirade was screamed startling the children, Changmin even clung to his mother whimpering, not liking the tension between his uncle and his mother.

 

He took his son on his lap and cuddled him. He hoped to convey the message that for him the discussion was over but Micky continued.

 

-Jae, answer me, why are you doing this? Five children are enough to keep you busy, why are you beating yourself up to the point where you collapse from exhaustion every night on your bed?

 

Jaejoong did not even ask how Micky could know, surely a soul mate thing.

 

-Micky, give it up, I'm fine, take the children to school, he added in a supplicating voice, please.

 

Exasperated, the bassist his heels and gently pushed the children to the front door.

 

He added, before leaving the house:

 

-Yunho will not come back sooner because you're swamped in work, and he would not want to see his wife crumble and isolate herself like that.

 

When he heard the car go away, he sighed while tightening Changmin against his belly.

 

-But Yunho is not here...

 

-No Appa. Whispered the toddler looking at his mother.

Not wanting to let go of his dark thoughts, he got up, Changmin in his arms.

 

-We will make a cake, to cheer up your brothers and sisters for their return from school.

***

 

The closer he got to his house, the more stressed he became, the eight months he had not seen his family, the seven months he had not spoken to them, thousands of questions and worries swirling in his mind , if the children did not remember him? And if his wife had met someone else or could he get back to a civilian life, would the nightmares follow him so far?

 

When the car stopped in front of the house, he could not stop the trembling of his hands, his brother turned to him.

 

-Calm down, you think too much, they are your wife and your children, not monsters who will devour you, take a deep breath and enter saying a happy "I'm home".

 

- You’re not coming?

 

He winced as he heard his cracked voice, he was a good man not a coward. Jihoon laughs.

 

- Needed your Hyung to hold your hand?

 

His brain says no but his body reacts before and he nods. His brother frowned before removing his belt and leaving the vehicle. The rear door opened and he felt Jihoon help him out.

 

-Yunho, you've known Jaejoong for years, you know very well that he's looking forward to your return, you're married to him, you've exchanged your vows, you know this thing that says as well in sickness, death and all that and I can guarantee you, that he will never reject you or replace you, you are made to be together. Your children are the fruit of your love and thank god they all inherited the loving and understanding character of your dear, it's your family, your life is in this house so Major Jung returns to his barracks and Yunho or Yunnie will come back to his place as father and husband. Come on.

 

And his brother grabbed him by the elbow and pulled him towards the porch. He rang.

Jaejoong's voice sounds.

 

-It's open Micky!

 

Yunho felt his heart quicken, his wife's voice made him shiver, he missed him so much, he wanted to rush into the house and kiss Jaejoong never to let go but his body was stuck on the porch. Jihoon did not wait for him, he opened the door and entered. A second later, Yunho could hear the voice of his wife and a child.

 

-Jihoon Hyung!

 

-Unc'! Shouted the child's voice.

 

-Hey JJ, I was around so I came to see how you are, Min how are you bud? Ow it's a pretty bump that you have there.

 

-Minmin ouchie, Umma kiss'

 

- Yes I'm sure that the magic kiss of your mom has made everything better, how are you Jae, resplendent as always?

 

Yunho heard the sound of skin-to-skin, and knowing Jaejoong's character, he deduced that he had hit his brother on the arm.

 

- Hyung do not make fun of me!

 

Yunho listened a bit more to his wife's and his brother's bickering before he took a deep breath, he walked through the front door while whispering a silent "I'm home".

 

The view of the tidy entrance hall, the shoes perfectly put in their place in their locker (each child had its compartment, as in a cloakroom, with coat rack, small bench and a small cupboard for shoes, a very clever idea his wife to put away when we were a large family) made him smile.

 

The noise of conversation and childish babble came from the kitchen, a room to which he went with caution, dreading their meeting.

 

He found his wife's back to him in front of the oven, a toddler in his arms, and Jihoon leaning on the gas stove, grimacing/cringing at the child.

 

It was, moreover, the child who first noticed him, he froze in his mother's arms, a frown marring his childish face. His reaction caught the attention of Jihoon and

Jaejoong who turned around.

 

He resisted the urge to close his eyes, and tried to calm his anxiety with a smile.

 

-I’m home.

 

Jihoon carefully watched the reaction of his brother-in-law. He was for the moment frozen in full motion when suddenly he pushed Changmin into his uncle's arms and ran as best he could into the arms of his husband who caught him tightly.

 

As soon as he felt the trembling body of his wife in his arms, his barriers broke and a sob escaped him.

 

-I missed you so much! He cried, kissing Jaejoong's head.

 

He was crying silently, clinging to his uniform.

 

-You are back! You are at home, Yunho!

 

With tenderness Yunho grabbed his wife's face, wiped the tears from his cheeks before kissing him. The soft, pulpy lips on his, his hands caressing his back as the kiss dragged on, he missed Jaejoong's unique scent so much that he never wanted to move from that position. Apparently someone decided otherwise, because he felt a blow on his lower abdomen, surprised he pulled back and it was then that he noticed the really round belly.

 

His eyes widened and his trembling hand rested on the stretched sweater, feeling the energetic little life under his palm.

 

A Kick was immediately felt, and he looked up happy, moved and surprised by the wet and shiny eyes of his wife.

 

-How long? He Croaked.

 

-Thirty-four weeks, I learned about it a month and a half after you left.

 

-Boy?

 

-Surprise, I wanted you to be there to find out.

 

-Oh my god a baby, we have another baby, I'll be dad for the sixth time!

 

A happy little laugh escaped him and he kissed his wife a second time. They were interrupted again but this time by a demanding childish voice:

 

-My Umma!

 

With a peck on his lips, Jaejoong moved away and turned to his son, who looked at them confused and upset. He laughed and retrieved the child in his arms.

 

-Minnie, it’s Appa, say hello.

 

Yunho looked at his son, he had left a two-months-old chubby baby hanging on Jaejoong's s, and in front of him stood a ten-months-old possessive boy who gave him a look of hatred. The child even went so far as to surround Jaejoong's neck and say:

 

- My Umma!

 

Jaejoong watched with amusement as the sulky pout appeared on his husband's face. In two strides Yunho joined them and took Changmin in his arms.

 

-Changmin, I'm your Appa, I know you do not know me much but I took care of you when you were little. I changed your diapers and you peed on me, I played with you, I consoled and rocked you, you are my son and I missed you Min.

 

This time it was Changmin's turn to look closely at the face of his Appa, the smell and the way these arms held him seemed familiar to him but that face he could not remember. He unconsciously looked around for his mother, and when he saw him smile, he leaned against the warm chest of his Appa as a sign of trust and gratitude.

 

-Appa home...

 

Yunho felt the tears slide down his cheeks, he reached for Jaejoong and grabbed him by the shoulders for a hug. No words were uttered, just the sharing of warmth and emotion between them.

 

Several minutes passed before they separated.

 

-Is this not a moving reunion? Jihoon declared, dramatically wiping away tears.

 

Yunho rolled his eyes as Jaejoong viciously kicked his brother-in-law's shin.

 

The pained groan that escaped his uncle greatly amused Changmin, who burst out laughing.

 

Jihoon laughs as well, ruffling the toddler's hair.

 

The slam of the front door caught their attention.

 

-NOT A WORD! I'm back, the packs are well delivered, now talk time between adults and do not try to evade, this time I brought reinforcements! First came Micky's voice.

 

-Hyung I'm sorry, to come without warning but this annoying dude embarked me without asking my permission. Excused the voice of Kim Junsu, the band's guitarist.

 

-Jae-Hyung have you food? I'm hungry and that idiot bassist refused that I finish my breakfast before bringing me here! Shouted the voice of Max the drummer and youngest member of "Just Us" (Jaejoong group name).

 

Yunho raised his eyebrows and looked at Jaejoong silently

 

-Discussions between adults?

 

Jaejoong sighed in exasperation.

 

-Sorry, I had a little "altercation" with Micky this morning, I thought it was settled but it seems that I underestimated the persistence of my bassist. I was even less expecting him to bring back the rest of the group.

Yunho smiled, despite the apparent exasperation of his wife, he knew how attached Jaejoong was to Micky and how close these two were, he was also grateful to the bass player, he was still there to support his family when he was on a mission.

The first one to enter the kitchen was Max, he first glanced at Jihoon, who was rubbing his shin, then at Yunho who could see him raise an eyebrow of surprise before a smirk stretched his lips.

 

-I see someone finally decided to show up, it was time, Jae-Hyung became irritable and useless in rehearsal.

 

He totally ignored the dark look that said “Jae-Hyung” gave him.

 

-Good to see you too Max. Laughs Yunho.

 

Changmin stirred and extended his arms to Max, smiling.

 

-Unc' Mach'

 

Max grabbed the child and pinched his cheeks.

 

-It's Max, M.A.X, max, when are you finally going to pronounce my name correctly, brat?

 

The drummer tickled the toddler before turning his gaze to Jaejoong, whom he scanned from head to toe.

 

-You’re becoming more and more round Hyung, it look like the baby is going to "pop" out of your belly at any time.

 

Jihoon burst out laughing as Jaejoong squinted angrily and if it was not for his husband who held him back, he would have jumped on Max.

 

-You...! I'm not big! I am pregnant!

 

-Exactly what I said, you're round!

 

Jaejoong struggled in Yunho's arms, but it was not easy to defeat a soldier's grip.

 

- Calm yourself baby, you know he teases you and besides he has a hostage, you cannot

risk Changmin for mistreating your drummer.

 

Before he could argue, Junsu and Micky entered the kitchen and already knowing what had happened, Junsu hit Max behind the head.

 

-Leave Jaejoong-Hyung alone.

 

Jaejoong smiled, glad someone avenged him, but his smile faded as he heard the rest of it.

 

-You know he's emotionally fragile right now.

 

-I am not fragile, I am pregnant!

 

Jihoon collapsed on his knees as he laughed. Even Yunho let out a grunt of amusement while Changmin applauded in joy.

 

It was when they heard their laughter that Junsu and Micky noticed the presence of Yunho and his brother.

 

They exchanged a surprised look.

 

Junsu recovered first.

 

-Yunho-Hyung, you're back! And in one leap he hugged Yunho who subtly shook Jaejoong in his arms to greet the enthusiastic guitarist.

 

Micky, however, stood back, Jaejoong noticed and frowned, puzzled by this unusual behavior. He opened his mouth to question him but Micky beat him:

 

-And the Major intends to stay how long this time?  

 

The silence was instantaneous, Jaejoong's eyes widened in surprise. Yunho narrowed his, disliking the bassist's tone. Cautiously, Jihoon and the rest of the gang left the kitchen, Changmin still in Max's arms.

 

Yunho put a possessive and protective arm around his wife's shoulders as Micky strengthened his position, legs slightly apart and arms crossed over his chest.

The silence dragged on until Jaejoong cleared his throat.

 

-I do not think this is the right time to discuss it, Yunho has just returned, he is tired and we are all a bit emotional about his return.

 

Micky ignored him, his gaze fixed on Yunho.

 

-So, how long before you are called for work? How long before you leave your role as husband and father?

 

-Micky!

 

Jaejoong tried to get closer to the bass player, to stop him, hit him or do something to stop Yunho's return being spoiled by words that were said in anger, but his husband almost painfully tightened his arm on his shoulders.

 

And Micky ignoring once again the singer's words continued:

 

-Do you know at least that you have a family? Friends? Who are waiting for your return? Who only hope for one thing, that you come back alive? How often are you going to make them live this? How many missions will you still accept until you finally come back home?!

 

-It is my job, protect my country, protect my family, and remove the threats of the country and therefore my family.

 

Yunho's voice was cold.

 

-No you protect your country but not your family, did you know that Junsu was being bullied at school? Did you know that Minha refused to celebrate her birthday because "if Appa is not there, there is nothing to celebrate", did you know that Yoochun, wanting to be the man of the house, broke a rib, do you know what he did? He climbed on a stepladder and wanted to change a light bulb, because "Umma is tired and I am a man now" unfortunately he fell. Did you know that Jiyool calls you "the ghost"? These are your children but you did not know anything about that? Because we don't know where you were and in what state. And who do you think has protected and comforted your children when you were not there? Your wife! Very much pregnant but always present for the children, because even sick and exhausted, there was no one else to try to fill the hollow that you leave every time you leave, but...

 

-Stop!

 

Jaejoong had covered his face with both hands and his voice was shaking. Yunho's face was cold but Jaejoong could feel the tension in his body, he could feel the pain radiating from his husband's heart.

 

-It's enough Micky please...

 

But the bassist shook his head.

 

-No, it's not enough, not so long as I'm sure Yunho understands how much he hurts his children, how much he hurts you at each departure.

 

His gaze slipped from the singer to rest on the Major, because at that moment and for years now, Yunho had become the Major and no longer Yunnie the husband of his best friend.

 

-Jaejoong is doing everything he can so that the children do not forget who you are, so that they stay together, to answer each of their needs and he does it well, but who is there for him when he can’t do more, when his body needs rest but no, there is laundry to do, a child to drive somewhere, an appointment ... nobody because his husband is not there. But the worst is the hope and the fear, which gnaw your relatives when you're not there, do you imagine at least the pain you provoke, "will he come back? Living? Dead? Injured? Do I wake up one morning and find a soldier announcing the death of my husband and father of my children? Do you know the number of times I've heard Jaejoong call me tearfully asking me all these questions and there are others: "Will he be there the day I’m giving birth or absent as for four of the children? What will I do if I find myself alone with six children? "But he always takes control and every day with a smile he hopes for your return, and I observe and wonder with what right do you deserve this family? Do you realize how lucky you are? If so, do not leave, because one day you will return and there will be no one to welcome you.

 

Now Yunho was shaking, his eyes were closed but Jaejoong knew he was crying. The anger mounted in him, how his bassist dared to disturb the return of his husband, what he had said was true, but to throw all those cruel words in anger when his husband has just returned from a mission, it was unjustly mean.

 

He brushed aside Yunho's arm and walked over to Micky who refused to look down at his anger.

 

- It’s enough now, you can stop.

 

Micky shook his head for the second time this morning but Jaejoong cut him off coldly:

 

-Say one more word and I will not forgive you. You are my friend, my soul mate, but I will not allow you to blame my husband for one more second.

 

-Jae...

 

-I said a word! Before I do something that I regret, you'll leave us and take the rest of the group with you, I'm not very angry yet but it can change quickly.

 

Micky opened his mouth to protest when something hit his legs. He looked down to find Changmin in tears tapping his little fists on his thighs.

 

- Meany Unc’ ! He yelled.

 

Jaejoong began to stoop to take his son, but a new dizziness took him and he stumbled back.

 

Yunho had just enough time to catch him before he collapsed unconscious in his arms.

 

-Jae!

 

And Micky could only moan

 

-So, That’s why I had to argue with him, it's been weeks since his body told him he needs rest but obviously, Jaejoong would not be Jaejoong without his stubbornness. Well, I guess that ends our discussion. I'm not sorry about the things I told you Yunho, you had to understand how serious the situation is but I'm sorry for the way I did it, I should have waited, Jae was exhausted physically and emotionally I should not have...

 

-It's good, you've always been honest and even if you sometimes lack tact, you just want the best for everyone. I'll take Jaejoong to our room, please take care of Changmin, we'll have to talk about everything when I come back down. It's time for the husband and Appa Jung to come home.