Chaeyeon’s Pov

 

“Chaeyeon...”

“Goodbye Sakura.”

 

The door is opening and you’re entering

You’re so pretty, so pretty

Slowly, slowly, you’re walking to me

 

I look at myself in the mirror as I was fixing my tie. I was having complications with my ties as I was allowed to wear a tux at her wedding. I let out a sigh as I sat down on a chair as I was frustrated.

 

How did things go this way? I thought as I look at myself in the mirror again

You look pathetic, Chaeyeon. You lost the person you love.

 

Tears form in my eyes as I begin to wipe them, but it wouldn't stop. I heard the door open as I quickly stood up from the chair and looked outside to the closest window i could go to. Trying not to show my weak side.

 

“Are you okay Chaeyeon?” I heard someone said as I knew who it was

“I wish, Chaewon.” I said to my best friend who has been supporting me to fight for my love.

“I wish I could’ve helped more. If only-.”

“It's okay.” I said sniffing as I nodded repeating lightly

“It's over for us two.”

“Chaeyeon.” Chaewon said as I was holding back my tears from this aching heart of mine.

 

------

--- 4 year ago ---

 

I am a freshman at Seoul University. I was done with my photography class as I was doing my assignment; taking pictures of scenery. I took pictures of students walking to class/dorm, riding their bikes, and skateboard. I didn't have much friends until I meet her.

 

“Chaeyeon!” I heard a voice said as looked up from my camera

 

I saw a girl about my height with short red hair, walking towards me.

 

“Konnichiwa Sakura-chan.” I said in Japanese

“What are you doing?”

“Photography.” I said as I gently lift up my camera to show her.

“Of me?” She said as I chuckled

“Haha. scenery.” I said as she went ‘0o0’ face

“Take pictures of me too.” Sakura said as I smiled

“Sure.” I said as I lift up my camera to my eye right level

“1..2..3.” I said as my camera went click.

“More. More.” Sakura said as I set down my camera and look at her

“I’ll take multiple pictures and I’ll show you after.” I said as she nods.

 

We took lots of pictures as I took a look at them. The pictures turned out pretty good. I went towards Sakura as I showed her the pictures.

 

“Wow. Chaeyeon. You’re so good at taking pictures.” She said as I smiled.

“Ani. I'm still a beginner.” I said as she shook her head

“Ani. Jinja. Daebak!” She said as I smiled.

“Thanks.” I said as I put my camera in my camera bag.

“Hey!” We heard as we looked at the person who was calling us

“Ah! Hyewon!” Sakura said as she waves at her.

 

I looked at Sakura’s face as she look happy seeing Kang Hyewon a sophomore at Seoul university, same grade as Sakura. Hyewon majoring in music

 

“Hi Chaeyeon.” Hyewon said

“Hi Unnie.” I said as I bow slightly to her

“Sakura. What are you doing here?” Hyewon asked

“Chaeyeon was taking pictures of me.” Sakura said as Hyewon looked at me

“Ne.” I said

“Ahh.. I see.” She said as she looked at her phone.

“Shoot. I have to get going. I’ll see you later Sakura. Bye Chaeyeon.” Hyewon said

“Bye Hyewon.” Sakura said

“Bye.” I said as Hyewon walked away from us.

 

I looked at my phone as it was 3:50pm.

 

“Yena!” I heard Sakura said as I look at Sakura who was waving at another person.

“Hey Sakura.” Yena, a brown hair girl as she was also a sophomore.

“Who’s this?” Yena asked

“Ah.. This is Lee Chaeyeon. A freshmen and a good photography.” Sakura said

“Ohh. Jinja?” Yena asked

“Ani.. I'm not that good yet.” I said

“Show her the pictures that you took of me.” Sakura said as Yena nods

“Yea. shows them to me.” Yena said as I took out my camera and turned it on.

 

I showed her the pictures of Sakura and other sceneries that I took.

 

“Hul! These look so good. Clean pictures.” Yena said as I smile

“Thank you.” I said

“Ah.. I didn't introduce myself. Choi Yena. majoring in music.”

“Majoring in photography and dance.” I said

“Hul! A double major?” Yena asked

“Ne.” I said

“You’re family must be rich.” she said as I shook my head

“Aniyo.” I said

“Yena!” A voice said as we look towards the voice as it was a brown hair girl, walking towards us with other people with her

“Yuri!” Yena said as she hugs the Yuri girl and kiss her in the cheek.

“Yah.” Yuri said as she was turning a bit red

“Stop with your PDA. Nobody wants to see it.” The tall black hair girl said as she was a bit scary looking.

“You’re just Jealous Eunbi.” Yuri said as Eunbi rolls her eyes

“Who’s this?” A red hair girl said as she was pointing at me.

“Ah.. Annyeonghaseyo. My name is Lee Chaeyeon. A freshmen, majoring in photography and dance. Nice to meet you.” I said as I didn't want Sakura always introducing me to new people.

“Ah. Annyeong chigu!” A short brown hair girl said as she had round glasses on.

“My name is Kwon Eunbi. A senior, majoring in dance and music.” the black hair girl said

“My name is Jo Yuri. a freshmen majoring in music.” The brown hair girl said

“I'm Ahn Yujin. A freshmen and majoring in dance and music” The girl with the round glasses said

“Kim Chaewon. A freshmen and majoring in dance.” A long red hair girl said

“Annyeonghaseyo. My name is Jang Wonyoung. A freshmen and majoring in dance.”

“Ah.. so it is you.” Eunbi said as I was confused

“You’re the girl who dance by herself in the back of the dance class.” She said as everyone noticed while I did too

“Ne.” I said

“It's nice to see you outside of class. You’re always quiet.” Eunbi said as I nod

“Eh? You’re quiet in your class Chaeyeon?” Sakura asked as I nod

“Ne.” I said as she was shocked

“Wow.” she said

“Hope we can get along.” Yujin said as I nod.

 

-----

 

I was walking out of the exit of the school as I was on my phone texting Son Chaeyoung, a junior at South Korea University.

 

________

Chaeng

---- Today, Friday 11/9 at 4:38 pm ----

Yo! What are you doing right now?

With my girl right now. What about you?

Just got out of class. Kinda wanna ask you two

A question over a drink. My treat :)

Sure. I’ll see you at my work.

Okay. See ya.

________

 

I put on my headphones as I turn on some music for me to listen to on the way there. I went on the bus, paying with my bus card as I was standing up, holding the handlebars, ignoring everything around me. I felt a pat on my back shoulder as I turn around and saw the red long hair girl.

 

“Annyeong Chaeyeon.” Chaewon said

“Annyeong” I said taking off one of my headphones and bow to her

“What are you doing later?” She asked

“Going to meet up with my friends at the cafe.” I said

“Ahh. I see.” She said looking out the window

“Do you want to join us? I'm paying so..” I said as she looks at me

“Can I?” She asked

“Sure. We’re friends too, right?.” I said as she smiled.

“Ne.” She said as we continue to ride the bus.

 

We got off the bus as we walked to Chaeng’s cafe shop that she works at. We went in as I saw Chaeng waving at us. I waved back as we went towards them.

 

“Yo Chaeyeon! Whats up?” Chaeng

“Doing good.” I said as we did our handshake

“Awesome.” She said as we sat down

“Annyeong unnie.” I said to Mina as she bow

“Who’s this?” Chaeng asked

“Ah.. This is my friend that I met at school recently. Her name is Kim Chaewon.”

“Annyeonghaseyo. My name is Kim Chaewon. A freshmen at Seoul University.” Chaewon said as she bow to them

“Annyeong. My name is Son Chaeyoung and this is my girlfriend, Miyou Mina. We’re from South Korea University.” Chaeng said as they bow to her

“Let’s order shall we?” Mina said as we all nod

 

We order our drinks as we order a small cake to share.

 

“So what you wanted to talk about Chaeyeon. Sounded important when you texted me.” Chaeng said as I look at her

“Ah.. uh.. It kinda is.” I said as they look at me

“Keep it a secret, but I think I’m in love.” I said as they look at me

“Our Lee Chaeyeon, in love? Omo! How did it happened?” Chaeng asked

“I met her in one of my classes, but i don't think she likes me that way. Probably like me as a friend.” I replied as I continue to eat the cake

“Her name is Sakura.” I said

“Eh? A Japanese girl?” Mina said as I nod

“Hul!” Chaeng said

“Really?” Chaewon asked as I nod

“Keep it a secret Chaewon. We don't really know much of each other, so I'm trusting you.” I said as she nods

“Don't worry. It's safe to say it with me.” She said as I smile

“Thanks.” I said as she nods

“Details. Come on.” Chaeng said as Mina nudge her arm telling her to stop being noisy.

“Well, she was a transfer at our place, but ease in school pretty easily. I was in one class with her as she sat a seat away from me. I could tell she’s been learning korean a lot, but when she couldn’t understand, she leaned over and asked me. I noticed that she was japanese, so I replied to her in japanese. We just click like that and became friends.” I said

“Oooo. And you want love advice?” Chaeng asked

“Maybe?” I asked back

“Just be yourself. She won't like it if you try to be someone else.” Chaeng said as Mina nod

“And confess when it's the right time. With no interruptions.” Mina said as Change nods

“That happen to us right babe?” Chaeng asked as Mina nod

“Multiple times.” Mina said

“I love you Mina.” Chaeng said looking at Mina

“I love you too.” Mina said looking at Chaeng

“*ahem* I'm still here.” I said interrupting them as Mina blushed as Chaeng looked away. I let out a sigh

“Sorry for you to see that.” I said to Chaewon as she shook her head

“Seen it before, don't worry about it.” She said

 

-----

 

To me, no

To someone else

You’re walking, you’re walking

I’m just one among the many

Who came to congratulate you

This scene is a scene

That we dreamed of together

But right now

 

I walked out of the room as I walked inside the church. I walked to my seat as I was in the second row on the right with my friends. Chaeng put her left hand on top of my hands as she squeezed them, assuring me, saying ‘you don’t have to be here’. I gave her my smile as I didn’t want to leave, even if it hurts. I’ll watch until the end. Everyone was in their seats as it became quiet as the piano starts to play.

 

Traditional wedding song plays as the the door opens. Hyewon and her best groom friends walked behind her as the door closed behind them. Then the door opens again as little kids begin to throw flowers on the floor while the door closed behind them. The door finally opened one last time as everyone stood up and saw Sakura walking down the red carpet with her dad.

 

Tears started to form as I wipe them before they rolled down my cheeks. Sakura smiles at everyone as her eyes made contact with me. I smiled at her as she smiled back. She looked straight towards Hyewon as they were in front of each other. Sakura’s dad pass Sakura’s hand to Hyewon as she walked up the steps and was face to face with Hyewon.

 

The priest started to talk about love and life. Said their vows and the ‘I do’ part as they gave a gently kiss to show to the crowd. Everyone cheered as they were happy for them

 

Not happy ending for us I smiled as I didn’t want to show my weak side.

 

-----

 

A year later, I become a sophomore as I was doing well on my class. As I gotten close to Sakura’s friends, Chaewon, Eunbi unnie, Yena unnie, Yujin and Wonyoung as they were in the same dance class as me. Eunbi unnie graduate from college as we still keep in touch with each other. She would also help us with our dance routines.

 

“Thank you for listening to today’s teachings and hope you guys take wonderful pictures for this assignment.” Mr. Kim said as my class walked out of the lecture room.

 

I was the last one out as I put my notebooks in my backpack while walking in the halls. I adjust my backpack to my back as I continue walking.

 

Pretty hungry right now. Let’s get something to eat.

 

“Chaeyeon!” I heard a voice said as I stop and turned as I saw Sakura funny running style towards me.

“Annyeong Sakura.” I said as i bow to her when she was in front of me

“What are you doing?” Sakura asked

“Gotta get something to eat.” I replied

“Ooh. Can I join?” She asked

“Sure.” I said as we walked towards the exit.

 

We walked out of the exit doors as we walked towards the cafeteria that was on the other side of the main building of Seoul university. We walked in the cafeteria as we went in line.

 

“Get whatever you want to eat. My treat.” I said smiling at her.

“Are you sure?” She asked

“Ne.” I said as she look at the menu.

 

We sat down at a table that was empty. We begin to eat as someone walked by and stopped walking and turned.

 

“Ah. Annyeong, Sakura.” A voice said as Sakura looked up at the person while I was eating.

“Ah, Hyewon, Annyeong.” She said

“What are you doing here?” Hyewon asked

“I’m having lunch with Chaeyeon.” Sakura said

“Ah. Annyeong.” She said as I slightly bow

 

There goes my appetite. -.- I sigh quietly as I put down my spoon and wipe my mouth with a napkin

 

“What are you doing Hyewon?” Sakura asked

 

What is this feeling?

 

I looked at me plate as I didn't feel like picking up my spoon.

 

“I was eating with my friends. I have to get going cause of class.” Hyewon said as Sakura nod

“Ah.. then go. You will be late.” Sakura said

“Ne.. I’ll see you later then.” Hyewon said as she left.

 

Why do I not feel like eating anymore? Am I jealous cause of Hyewon?

 

Sakura continue to eat as I sat there watching her. She look up at me as she was confused.

 

“Are you gonna eat or are you done?” She asked as I look at my plate and back at her

“It’s ok. I’m full.” I lied as I haven’t finished my lunch.

“Ok.” She said as she continues to eat.

 

Is this what happens when you fall in love with someone?

 

A couple minutes later, I waited for Sakura to finish as I was on my phone, waiting.

 

“Ready?” Sakura asked as I looked up from my phone and saw her plate empty

“Ne.” I said as we stood up and walk to the nearest trash and exit the cafeteria.

 

We walked away as we were walking to somewhere as there were stores and food store around us.

 

“What are going to do now?” Sakura asked

“Going to take some pictures for my photography class after I drop off my backpack at my dorm.” I said as she nods

“Ah. I see.” She said as she looked to her right

“Ah.” She said as she stopped walking as I continue on but stopped.

 

I turned as I saw her looking at a window.

 

“What’s wrong?” I asked going up to her as I look at the window she was looking at.

 

She was looking at a wedding dress as if she wanted to wear it herself.

 

“It’s pretty.” Sakura said as I smiled

“If I was a boy. I would buy you that dress and marry you.” I said blushing

“Aww.. that's sweet.” Sakura said

 

I don't think she gets it.

 

“Let’s get going.” She said as I nod

 

We walked away from the wedding dress store as we walked to her dorm.

 

“I’ll see you later.”

“Annyeong.” I said as she went inside her dorm.

 

I walked towards my dorm building as I put on some music.

 

She don’t like me that way. Maybe it’s best not to show my feelings.

 

Your wedding

Will I really be able to see you?

I thought about it over and over

But you’re smiling brightly at me

It’s good that I came

I’m glad I could congratulate you

 

People standing as they were talking to other people and drinking wine while others were sitting in their seats, eating. I was sitting in my seat as Eunbi unnie, Yena unnie, Chaewon, Yuri, Yujin,  Wonyoung, Chaeng and Mina were sitting at the round table with me as they were eating as I was just drinking my wine cup.

 

“Chaeyeon. Please eat. You haven't even touch your food.” Eunbi unnie said as everyone agree

“Yea. Chaeyeon eat your food.” Chaewon said

“We don't want you to die in starvation.” Yuri said

“If you don't want it. I’ll take it.” Wonyoung said as Yujin nudge her

“I mean-- yea. Eat up unnie.” Wonyoung added

“It's ok guys. I’m not hungry. You can take it Wonyoung.” I said handing her my plate as she hesitated, but grab it slowly

“Thank you unnie.” she said as I stood up.

“Where are you going?” Chaeng asked as I look at her

“Just walking around.” I said

“Chaeyeon-”

“I'm fine guys. Seriously, I'm fine.” I said as I walked around my chair and pushed it in.

 

I grab my wine cup as I went and drink it al up. I set it down on the table and smiled at them. I then walked away as a waiter walked with a tray of wine. I grab a wine cup as he slightly bow and continue to walk around. I took a sip as a glance that I looked at my right, I saw her.

 

Wearing the wedding dress she always wanted to wear. And she finally got to wear one. As for me? I didn't get to be the one to marry her. The love of my life. I was coward and just wanted to by her side, just as ‘friends’. Which this led to nowhere for me, but let her taken by someone. That's how stupid I was to let her go.

 

I looked away as I think she made eye contact with me. I pretend I didn't see her as I hear footsteps.

 

“Chaeyeon?” I heard her voice as I didn't want to talk to her

“Sakura-chan.” I said as I turned around and show her my best smile I could do without showing my weak side.

“What do you think?” She asked as I smiled

“It looks good on you.” I said as she smiled

“Really?”

“Ne.” I said as my heart ache.

“I'm glad you could come to my wedding. I was afraid you might not come.” She said

“Why wouldn’t I? I'm your best friend and the cameraman-- woman.” I said

 

Best Friend.

 

“Yea. Anyways, thanks for coming. I hope the pictures turn out great.” She said as I nod

“It will.”

“Sakura!” A voice said as we turned and saw Hyewon unnie calling with a smile on her face

“You should go. You don't want to keep her waiting.” I said as I smiled while Sakura gave me a worry face

“But-”

“Go. We’ll talk in another time.” I said as she nods

 

I watch her walk towards Hyewon as they grab each other’s hands and walk in a different direct.

 

It hurts, but we won't be together in future.

 

I took out a paper out of my pocket as I looked at it.

 

Start another life and try to forget everything here.

 

I put it back in my pocket as I continue to walk the other direction from them.

 

I wonder how it would look like here if I moved to the states where my family is..

 

---- Flashback ----

 

“Appa..”

“Sweetie.. Whats wrong?”

“My heart hurts..”

“Wae? What happened?”

“Love..” I said as I started to cry

“Sweetie.. Don't cry.” He said as I continue to cry.

“Whatever happened over in school, your Omma and I have your full support of what you want to do. We will support you all the way, whether you want to be straight or gay. Don't cry.”

“A-Appa…”

“Yes sweetie?”

“When will this pain go away?” I asked through my sobs, wiping my tears but it still rolls down my cheeks

“It will slowly fade sweetie.. It's takes time for your heart to heal.” He said

“I want to kill myself Appa. I don't feel like living anymore.” I said as I started to cry more

“Sweetie.. We’re here for you! Do not ever say that…” He said as he paused

“*sniffle* whatever happened in korea, we will get through it together. As family. And as family, we help each other.” He said as I could hear him sniffling.

“A-Appa.” I said

“Ne Sweetie?”

“Are.. Are you crying?” I asked as he scoffed

“Wh-What? Ani! Who said I was crying? I'm not crying.” He said as I begin to laugh at him

“But you are.” I said laughing at him.

“Well, I’ll tell you one thing. I'm crying because of you. It hurts to see you in pain at some point and there are times we laugh together. I want you to be strong and if you want, you can come to the states and join us here, with your Omma and I. Together. Leaving whatev