Why did I like Han Jisung?

Why didn’t I want to admit it?

Why didn’t I want to acknowledge he liked me back?

I was selfish. Because I suppressed my feelings, he had to do the same. I knew he liked me. But I denied it every second I could. Why? Why did I do that?

Maybe that’s why I regret it so much. Because something could’ve happened between us. I wanted something to happen between us. But at the same time, I kept the barrier there so that nothing would happen. I was selfish.

How did he feel about our friendship? I don’t know. I didn’t look into it at the time. Why? Because I was selfish.

He showed me his faults but I couldn’t show him mine.

I couldn’t love myself, so I couldn’t let others love me until I was perfect. Until I was perfect…

Perfect. Weird word isn’t it? What was perfect to me?

V-shaped jawline. Skinny. Be able to wear a crop top. S body line. 20/20 vision. Lightskin.

My appearance was everything, but it turned me into nothing.

No, I am NOT.

I am WHO?

I am YOU.

But is you really who I’m meant to be?

Oh well. Me and Him. Him and I. Jisung and _____. _____ and Jisung. That doesn’t exist anymor