(Whoops before we start, let me apologize for mixing Yeri up with Yuri in the first chapter. Just reminding that Yeri is an intern in Joohyun's company. You'll meet her in this chapter. This is a long one, and I won't be able to update on weekend. Hopefully this will make up for it. Now on to the story!)

Seulgi leaves every morning, sometimes before the sun rises. Joohyun can’t understand why she does this, and hopes it’s not because Seulgi thinks it bothers her. She doesn’t know how to say that she isn’t bothered in the slightest, but in fact is thrilled to have a friend to confide in. Truth be told, Joohyun loves talking to her in the mornings, and even enjoys the dog’s slobbery company. Every evening, Seulgi walks in the door, toting a giant backpack and a breathtaking new canvas. She always looks exhausted, but Joohyun hands the blonde a cup of coffee or hot chocolate. Her answering smile is the most beautiful thing Joohyun has ever seen.

Slowly, Joohyun’s loft and office are filled with colorful scenes, the bleak grey walls overtaken by vivid paintings. She loves it, and loves Seulgi’s beaming expression when she praises her work.

Everyone at RV Industries compliments the paintings, and every time she tells them Seulgi’s name with pride. Word of her talent quickly spreads through the building. Joohyun’s face hurts from smiling after Seulgi tells her that Hyuna has commissioned her for a giant painting of a moonlit forest.

The loft loses it’s pristine demeanor and sharp edges; the colorful canvases breathe life into each room, and the once-barren tables are covered in odd items, such as a wayward notepad or paintbrush.

Money is a touchy subject, but they are able to work around it. The largest issue arises when Joohyun drives Seulgi to IKEA to buy her a bed for the office. Neither of them mentioned that their living situation is temporary, and maybe a bed is hardly necessary. The inevitable fact of Seulgi leaving is a topic ignored by them both. Joohyun, known for being pragmatic, can’t bring herself to think about that.

As they walk around the store, Seulgi argues for hours about the price. She wants the cheapest bed available - a small, rickety thing that Joohyun is afraid to sit on. Joohyun doesn’t mind getting a slightly bigger bed and contributing to the cost, if it means Seulgi isn’t scrunched up in a child’s bed. Her artwork is definitely rising in prominence around the city, but it is slow, and she hasn’t earned much money yet. Joohyun is fine paying for her, but then she catches a micro expression on Seulgi’s face and stills. The blonde covers it a moment later with a witty comeback, but Joohyun knows what she saw.

She went to a fancy, slightly preppy private high school, but only because she had a full scholarship. Joohyun is smart, but she had been born on the “wrong side of the tracks”. She has never felt ashamed of her family and upbringing - her parents are hardworking, wonderful people. However, while growing up, many of her rich classmates would make subtle gestures or comments that referred to her lack of wealth. Joohyun knew they were just trying to be nice, but she had an afterschool job and didn’t want anyone’s pity for anything. She didn’t want the sidelong glances when Hyuna told the track team to bring money for gear; or, when someone offered to pay for her bus fare with an overly bright smile. She could afford that - just because she worked after school and they had millions in a trust fund didn’t mean Joohyun couldn’t take care of herself. The only person who never, not once, did this to her was Jennie.

The look on Seulgi’s face, as they stand in the large IKEA isle, is one she wore continuously throughout childhood. Even if the blonde couldn’t completely afford the bed, Joohyun wouldn’t bring it up, or offer to pay for it. Seulgi is proud and independent, just like Joohyun, and because of her own history she doesn’t dare question it.

It isn't perfect, but the world they carefully began to build together is damn close.

On a cloudy, mid-October Sunday, they take Atticus to Crissy Fields in Golden Gate Park. The day is windy, as coastal weather usually is. The fog nearly blankets the Golden Gate Bridge, and Joohyun can barely see a single stripe of orange.

“How the hell do they get fancy pictures of the bridge? It almost always looks just like this!” Joohyun voices this concern to Seulgi, who just laughs.

“That’s what photoshop was invented for!”

Joohyun brings a tennis ball, which she throws far into the water. Atticus leaps from the shore, overtaking the other dogs before swimming back and depositing the slimy prize at her feet. Seulgi snorts at Joohyun’s disgusted expression, falling backwards onto the sand.

They walk along the beach, watching Atticus bounce about in the icy waves. Sometimes, their hands brush against each other, and they linger. Static courses between them momentarily before they pull apart.

The wind whips both of their hair. Joohyun can hardly see Seulgi’s face through a whirl of gold curls.

“My hair always gets so frizzy in this wind, I hate it”

Joohyun thinks she’s never looked more beautiful.

One night after Seulgi has been staying with her for a month, Joohyun is up late, staring at the ceiling, when she hears the tell-tale signs of paws clicking on hardwood floor. She blinks and sits up in bed. Her window is wide open and she can hear the ever-present sounds of traffic. From the crack under her bedroom door, Joohyun knows the kitchen light is .

Seulgi.

She hears a rustle. Muted, secretive. Her curiosity blooms. Joohyun is up in a second, eyes already adjusted to the dark, socked feet silent as she quickly pulls on a sweater and jeans. She hears the front door open and close softly, and if she had been anyone else the noise would have gone unnoticed. But this is her home, and Joohyun recognizes the squeak coming from the loose plank right next to the shoe rack. She slips into the hallway and opens the front door. Joohyun peeks around slowly, and sees the elevator closing - Seulgi must already be inside.

She dashes to the stairwell. Joohyun’s footsteps echo loudly on the concrete as she takes the stairs two at a time. When she reaches the ground floor, she peers through the small lobby window until the familiar grey hoodie and large backpack come into sight. Her heart pounds and she’s breathless with excitement. Seulgi was a mystery and she was magnetically drawn to the thrill of the chase. An addiction she thought was lost after Jennie. But she’s back in the game, 2:00 am, hair ruffled, stealthily tracking a hooded figure down the streets of San Francisco. Joohyun is no longer a teenager, but a grown woman. Her body thrums as if she were 19 again, drinking her parent’s scotch on rooftops. But Jennie is not with her, and her absence is what grounds her in reality.

Seulgi moves swiftly along the deserted sidewalk, successfully navigating a route devoid of people. Every once in a while, a car passes and illuminates the girl in a flash of headlights. Atticus’ intimidating figure pads on beside her. Joohyun stays far enough away, trailing the wall, so as to not attract the dog's’ attention.

All at once, Seulgi stops. Joohyun skidds her feet on the pavement, dodging behind a lamppost. When she looks up, Seulgi is gone. . She has no idea where she is, but her mind is already retracing the route. She could get home, if needed. But the blonde can’t be far…

“You really thought I wouldn’t notice?”

The voice is right next to Joohyun’s ear and she jumps, head jolting at an awkward angle. The blonde’s eyebrow is cocked, and even Atticus is gazing at her with a skeptical look. She didn’t even think dogs could have that expression.

“Hello, Seulgi.”

“Look, I’m going to work on a mural. You can go back, just take a left on Hawthorne-”

“I’m coming.”

“I don’t need a babysitter, Joohyun. This isn’t the first time I’ve painted at night.”

“Of course you can handle yourself. That’s not why I want to stay.”

She considers it for a moment. “Alright.”

Joohyun follows the blonde down an alley. They pass a sleeping homeless man, curled up beside a dumpster. The moon lights their path as they meander through back alleyways, occasionally hearing the scuffle of rats or feral cats. Seulgi eventually stops at a dead end wall.

“Here we are.”

It’s completely blank. Joohyun looks sideways at the blonde, wondering if it’s a joke. The other girl sighs.

“Not everything is visible on the surface,” she comments, reaching behind her and tugging.

Joohyun’s mouth parts in shock as the cement blocks fall away - nothing but squares on fabric - and a large mural is revealed. It’s a sunset, and two distant figures stand, teetering at the end of a jagged cliff. The painting spans upward several feet - she has to crane her neck to see the top.

“Wow.”

Seulgi smirks. “Can’t have anyone seeing it until I’m done. Now that you’re here, make yourself useful.” She presses a flashlight into Joohyun’s hand.

The hours pass. The night is cold, and the sounds of traffic come and go.

I wish I brought another jacket, Joohyun sighs, tucking her chin into the sweatshirt. Atticus pads over and flops down next to her. She buries her face in his thick mane.

I’ve never considered myself a dog fan, before now.

When she looks up, Seulgi is watching her with an unreadable expression. Her brush is paused midstroke, and the yellow paint dribbles over the concrete. She turns away as Joohyun looks up.

All at once, Joohyun feels like she has a safe place to land; a thought which is absurd considering they are currently doing something illegal. Seulgi is not stable. Neither is Joohyun. They are dynamic, changing, challenging each other. Voices raised in debate over every single detail. The nights Joohyun woke with a start to an eerily quiet house, as if she is alone - but the next time she opens her eyes Seulgi is there, stretching in front of the window. She wonders if this is where Seulgi goes, seeking dark corners of the city to create blooms of color over dull concrete walls. Both of them circling, silently daring the other to move first. It is exciting, it is dangerous. Both of them are addicted to thrill-seeking, and they can provide an outlet for each other.

Joohyun is awestruck by her friend’s artistic process. She notes with a pang how similar it is to the way Jennie would get lost in her violin, but Seulgi is different in many ways. She is off in her own world, blind to anything but her palette and canvas. She frowns a lot and forgets her hand is covered in paint - her clothes and hair are streaked with blue and green. She looks blissfully content. They do not speak other than the occasional “Can you shine the light over there?” Joohyun’s legs have cramped up from her position, crouched on top of a stack of crates. The flashlight is a dead weight in her hand.

Finally, as the sky dims from deep blue to purple, Seulgi straightens up.

“Done,” she states, glancing toward Joohyun. A predawn glow lights up the painting, exposing small details Joohyun had missed in the night’s shadows. She recognizes the formerly nondescript figures with a start.

“Is that..?”

“Yes.” Seulgi says simply, confirming that the mural depicts the two of them. She turns away, but Joohyun would do anything to see her face in that moment.

“It’s beautiful, Seulgi.”

The girl hurriedly packs up her backpack, screwing the lids tightly on the rusted tubes of paint.

Joohyun reminds herself to get Seulgi new ones, and find a way to give them so she would accept.

As Seulgi slings the bag over the her shoulder, Joohyun notices a smudge of green paint on her cheek. Like a reflex, she raises a hand a swipes the pad of her thumb across the blonde’s face. All it does is smear the color further, but Seulgi still smiles. It leaves her confused and longing - for what exactly, she is unsure. Joohyun follows Seulgi out of the alley and onto the swiftly populating street, wondering what piece of the puzzle she’s missing.

Seulgi and Joohyun sit on her couch, turned to each other. It is already 4:00 am, but neither could sleep when they returned. Seulgi made them tea as pastel shades of sunrise filled the loft. Tension buzzes between them, and Joohyun is reminded of the kiss she has tried to push out of her memory. It was useless to dwell on such hopeless things. She knows Seulgi could never see her in that way.

Seulgi holds a large mug of peppermint tea, sighing as she smells it. The stream curls around her face in the low living room light. Her hair is dark with moisture, still damp from the shower she took after they got back. She is at ease and Joohyun curses herself as she breaks the calm.

“Why are you on the streets, Seulgi? It doesn’t suit you.”

She smiles, and though beautiful, it is bitter - Joohyun’s heart aches for the girl. “What can I say? I’m a teenage runaway, doing what I thought was best for the greater good. My parents had money; that was never a problem. My father was the best dad anyone could ever ask for. My mom was, is, a doctor. An amazing one. I haven't talked to her in a while. I was high school valedictorian. Went to Stanford for pre-med,  grad school at Harvard.” Seulgi pauses, eyes glazed over with memories.

Joohyun doesn’t comment on the past tense she uses with her father. “You’re brilliant, Seulgi. So why aren’t you a doctor?”

“I dropped out after about a year of medical school,” she girl swallows painfully, but her voice remains steady. “Things happened, bad things. It was an accident, but in reality… It was my fault. If it weren't for me, maybe things would have been different. If it weren’t for me, they’d still be here.”

She is shaking, minutely. The hot liquid sloshes slightly in the cup, responding to her hand’s tremors. Joohyun leans forward, but Seulgi leans back. She withdraws her hand quickly. Joohyun can do nothing but watch. Atticus pads over and she runs a hand over his large head.

“So I left. It is so much easier for them, to not have to look into my face each day and be reminded of what I’ve done. They are hurt because of me, and I bear it so they don’t have to. If only I could've done something… I was training to be a doctor. I still couldn’t save anyone, but I tried. I tried for months but Mark wouldn’t wake up. I called my mom from the bus station. Left her a voicemail, saying I was taking a break and that I’d be back soon. I turned off my phone soon after and left it in my car. That was months ago.” Tears stream silently across her face. She is trying so hard to hold it together.

“Do you miss them?”

“Every single day.”

“Then why not go back? Why don’t you call?”

“I can’t,” her voice cracks, and this time Joohyun takes initiative.

“I told you once that I lost someone close to me,” she pauses. “Jennie. I loved her,” she looks back at Seulgi, judging her reaction. This is the first time she has spoken about her in such a long time, maybe since the funeral. “It’s so simple, when you say it like that. Jennie, a girlfriend. Nothing more. But oh, she was so much more than that. She was everything - but even when you love someone, it’s not always enough.”

“Is it ever enough?”

Joohyun looks at Seulgi for a long moment before replying. “Maybe sometimes.”

Joohyun wakes up to Atticus barking, loudly, somewhere nearby. She must have fallen asleep on the couch while talking to Seulgi, for her limbs are intertwined with the other girl’s. The blonde’s head rests on her shoulder, and Joohyun’s arms curl around her. For once she is comfortable and warm, the morning sun filtering through her window and slowly bringing consciousness with it.

“Turn it off,” she groans, turning her head away from the bright window.

“Before sunrise he’s your son,” Seulgi replies, not even opening her eyes.

The moment is ruined when a loud voice booms in the supposed-empty apartment.

“Hey, little sister! And friend!”

Joohyun opens her eyes, immediately recognizing the voice, her arms flailing as she struggles to stand. Seulgi awakens at the sudden motion, blinking groggily as she tumbles onto the floor. The girl groans at the impact, and then again when Joohyun rolls off the couch and lands on top of her.

She feels a rough tongue on her face and flips over (accidentally elbowing Seulgi in the face) to push Atticus out of the way.

Some guard dog.

Taeyeon watches them, eyebrow raised. Her smirk is ecstatic and mischievous. Joohyun knows her sister will never, not in a million years, believe “It’s not what it looks like, I swear!” Joohyun will never live this one down.

“Hey, Taeyeon! How’s it going? This is-” She gestures at the blonde girl sitting on the floor beside her, rubbing her eyes. “Seulgi.”

“Hello, Seulgi. I’m Joohyun’s older sister. Also, I suppose this is as good a time as any to tell you - to put it simply - if you hurt her, I’ll destroy you.” Seulgi looks only slightly alarmed.

“Duly noted,” she retorts, shooting a casual smile right back at Taeyeon. Joohyun has to admire her versatility. She can’t have been awake more than 40 seconds, and she is already getting threats.

“Taeyeon,” she grits through her teeth. “Do you mind?”

“Sorry, I actually thought you’d be at work already. You do know it’s Friday, right?” she questions as Joohyun’s eyes widen in alarm. “Anyway, I’m staying with mom but I have a date tonight in the city so I was exploring some old haunts.”

“That doesn’t explain why you broke into my apartment”

“You leave the key under the doormat. Come on, who does that anymore? Also, I had to piss. Public bathrooms are gross.”

Joohyun feels, rather than hears, Seulgi grin next to her. “Whose side are you on?”

The blonde girl attempts to sober up quickly, but it doesn’t work; the sparkle remains in her bright brown pools. Joohyun could drown in them.

Taeyeon interrupts, coughing. “I have a date tonight. We’re going to some party in Pacific Heights. You two should come - it’ll be really fun!”

Joohyun is about to decline, but Seulgi beats her to it. “Sure, we’ll be there.”

drops open, and she stares at her friend incredulously.

“I like her,” Taeyeon laughs in surprise. “See you tonight!”

When Taeyeon finally leaves, several minutes later, Seulgi turns to Joohyun with a sheepish smile. “Hey, think I could borrow a dress?”

Joohyun just groans, falling back onto the couch.

This girl will be my downfall.

Joohyun doesn’t remember whose idea it was to start drinking. All she knows is the sky outside is dark, and they are sitting in her large walk in closet, clothes strewn around them, with an open bottle of red wine beside them on the floor. Joohyun has only had a few sips, but Seulgi can truly hold her alcohol. The bottle is almost empty.

Will she ever fail to surprise me?

Seulgi stumbles down the hallway in various dresses, swaying like a runway model. One hand holds a somehow perpetually-full wine glass, and her eyes never leave Joohyun’s. She looks ridiculous, but it’s somehow charming. Her guard is dropping considerably. It makes her look younger, more carefree - Joohyun is in awe.

She tries on a light brown dress, and Joohyun knows she’s staring, but she can’t help it. It’s Seulgi’s fault, really, because her eyes pair perfectly with the silk. The dress, if Joohyun remembers correctly, was ridiculously overpriced. She’s not even sure why bought it in the first place, but she’s not complaining now because it looks so good on Seulgi. It puts her own forest green dress to shame. She looks too professional, but she’s not about to go change again.

“You look great,” Seulgi states, grinning down at her. The wine glass wobbles precariously in her hand. Her face could light up a room.

“As do you.”

The party seems tame, by Taeyeon’s standards. On the surface it was all very Great Gatsby. Taeyeon had been incredibly popular in high school and was always invited to gatherings and raves. They drove there, Seulgi manning the radio from the passenger seat. The blonde is hardly drunk anymore, just slightly buzzed. She props her feet on the dashboard with a grin, ignoring Joohyun’s half-hearted glare.

Like Taeyeon had said, the party took place at an old mansion in Pacific Heights. This was some of the best real estate San Francisco had to offer, but Joohyun feels almost stifled in the formal atmosphere.

They enter the home, someone instantly taking their coats, and are ushered further inside. Soft piano music fills the grand foyer. Their heels echo loudly on the smooth marble floor as they quickly climb the winding staircase. Joohyun has to hold back a scoff. The things rich people have.

Seulgi handles herself with ease around the obnoxiously rich crowd. They adore her, complimenting her dress - she winks each time someone mentions it - and Joohyun tries to ignore the fluttering in her stomach. Seulgi walks beside her as if she’s been doing this her entire life. Joohyun remembers with a jolt that she indeed has; growing up in a wealthy neighborhood meant she must’ve attended these events constantly. No wonder her actions seem second nature as she introduces them both to countless guests. Joohyun lets the blonde take over, only joining the conversation when needed.

“Are you two, like, together?” questions a young woman, her arm around a man old enough to be her father. Maybe even grandfather. Joohyun wants to remember to tell Seulgi this later, just to see her smile.

“No, just friends.” Joohyun cuts in, grabbing her elbow and pulling away. Seulgi shoots the couple an apologetic smile and a quick goodbye as she follows. Neither of them mention the question, but it hangs heavy in the air.

They only spot Taeyeon once, across the ballroom with a group of people. She waves them over, chatting with Seulgi as if they’ve known each other forever. “Glad you too could make it! Love the dress, Seulgi.”

“You look stunning yourself, Taeyeon. And it’s nice to meet you-” she extends her hand - then freezes. “Doctor Wang?”

Joohyun looks up quickly. Seulgi’s right, it is the good doctor. She hardly recognizes him without the long white coat.

“Wait, how do you know each other?” Taeyeon glances between them, puzzled. Joohyun feels the blood drain from her face. . She steps in, swiftly ending the conversation. “It’s a long story, I’ll tell you later. We gotta go.”

She and Seulgi hurry off, hoping Taeyeon and the doctor won’t question them further. They find the first unlocked door and look around - a vacant sitting room - before rushing inside.

“, why are things so complicated?” Joohyun slams the door behind her and bangs her head against the wood. “This is actually bad. We told him that you were my only living relative! Taeyeon’s your SISTER. Hello! Another relative for Seulgi! Another sign we lied!” She starts to pace in front of Joohyun, wringing her hands. “Why didn’t I give a fake name? We can’t have him questioning us. , what if I got you in trouble?”

“I’ll handle it. Nothing will happen to us.” She tries to put the blonde’s mind at rest, though she herself is anxious, and thinks it might be working when Seulgi takes a deep breath at the reassurance.

“I believe you, Joohyun. I need some air.”

They snoop around the room, finding a door leading onto a small balcony. The night is cold and the balcony is relatively empty. Neither of them mind the weather. Seulgi watches the Golden Gate Bridge and vast, dark bay. Her eyes reflect the glean of innumerable car taillights. Joohyun doesn’t spare it a passing glance; what’s the point, if Seulgi’s beside her?

Seulgi steps closer. Her breath smells sweet, like champagne. It makes Joohyun dizzy, though she is the sober one. She feels intoxicated when Seulgi stands mere inches away, a challenge in her gaze.

“How about we see if we can find, ya know,” she jerks her head behind her, to the groups of people, “somewhere a bit more exciting.”

Joohyun raises her eyebrows, but she doesn’t think she could deny the blonde if she tried. Seulgi’s smile is brilliant, even in the dark, and she can’t tear her eyes away.

That is how, almost an hour later, Joohyun walks into a UC Berkeley house party. She feels 19 again - only this time, it’s Seulgi’s shoulders that brush against hers, not Jennie’s. She pushes the bitter memories away before they engulf her.

The music can be heard even as they turn into the cul-de-sac.

“Graduate students’ parties rival fraternities’,” Seulgi remarks, sliding out of the front seat.

“You never got this at med school?”

“Maybe. I was always so busy; the last time I partied hard was probably Stanford graduation night? Don’t be fooled, Ivy League kids would surprise you.”

All too late, Joohyun realizes they’re probably dressed a bit too fancy.

“, look at us,” she points to the silk dress. “We look like we’re going to a ball!”

Seulgi laughs so hard she almost cries. “Too late now, they'll just have to deal with it.” With that, she stomps into the house, footsteps only slightly unsteady, and Joohyun has no choice but to follow.

Their clothes earn a few stares, but most people move on quickly in their alcohol fueled haze.

“Joohyun,” Seulgi grabs her and holds on, shouting close to her ear. “I’m gonna get something to drink - sorry for leaving you as DD.”

“It is no trouble. No offense, but I’d rather not have you drive my car like this.”

“Ouch, I’m wounded. I thought you trusted me.”

“I do trust you, Seulgi.”

She just smiles and disappears into the crowd, Joohyun watching her go with a small smile. She takes a step forward, intent on finding a corner to stand in, and crashes headfirst into brunette girl wearing a form fitting scarlet dress. Today is just not her day.

“Watch where you’re going! I almost spilled beer, and this dress cost like, half my salary - oh . Hey boss!”

Yeri Kim, exceptional mechanic and graduate student intern for RV Industries, gapes at her like a fish. Joohyun has never seen a jaw drop in real life. Check that off my bucket list, she muses. At this point, she isn’t even surprised. The night had already taken one too many strange turns.

“Hello, Yeri. You are actually the second person I’ve unexpectedly run into today. Though I suppose I should’ve known, Cal is your school. It used to be mine, but that was way back.”

Yeri smiles tightly, recovering from the initial shock. She tries to hide the alcohol subtly behind her. “Nah, you were here only a few years ago. Don't make yourself sound so old.”

“This is highly unprofessional of me.”

“Would you like to leave? Door is that way”

“May I remind you, Kim, I am giving you your salary; half of which you spent on a dress,” she smirks.

“I might’ve exaggerated. Just a bit. Wait, why are you here?”

“Yeri?”

Joohyun is wrong - she does, in fact, still have the ability to be surprised.

It’s Seulgi, holding a tall cup of something pink and fruity. Yeri turns on her heel and gives an animalistic screech before jumping onto the blonde. The drink is nearly knocked out of her hand, but she looks too happy to care.

“Holy , Seulgi! What are the odds? How's it going, babe?”

Seulgi laughs, hugging Yeri back fiercely. “It’s going great! Are you at grad school here?”

“Yep!” Yeri looks back, as if just remembering Joohyun. “This is Seulgi, my undergrad roommate at Stanford. Seulgi, this is my boss. That sounds really weird. We didn’t, like, come together or anything…”

Neither Joohyun nor Seulgi can keep the slight smirk off their faces.

“How do you do, stranger?” Seulgi drawls.

Yeri’s eyes narrow, and her eyes dart between the two of them. “I know that look, Kang. Wait,” almost drops. “Do you two know each other?”

“It is a mystery,” Joohyun replies, earning a chuckle of disbelief from Yeri. Really, she should make bad jokes more often.

“Ok, well. Kang and I have some serious catching up to do,” she links arms with Seulgi, and Joohyun tries to smother the spark of jealousy. It was not her place. “Whatever, stranger things have happened. First, why are you w