Their unusual and awkward meeting was suffocating, with Joohyun’s eyes which she couldn’t read, Seulgi just can’t stand it. Not knowing what’s going on in her head—she gets edgy when Joohyun becomes unpredictable. For the first time, Seulgi was thankful to her best friend Seungwan for appearing.

“Yah! Why are you just standing there like a pole?!” Seungwan, pulled her down for a headlock. The sudden action flood Seulgi with good old memories.

Like how was it back then when they were still studying in a University. The first time they were formed as a group for a research project and from then on, Seungwan and Joohyun never left Seulgi’s side. It was annoying—they were annoying, still.

Seungwan insists that Seulgi wasn’t supposed to live her life alone and lonely and that she needs friends. She needs a family. Eventually they knew about Seulgi’s family incident and why is she so uptight.

“Oh c’mon! Let’s do further research and a sleepover at your place Kang! We would love to meet your family too, right Joohyun-ah?” Seungwan didn’t stop on following and poking on the taller girl.

At the mention of her family, Seulgi abruptly stopped on her tracks. The look in her eyes darkened and her hands curled into fists but these go unnoticed by the two.

It further ticked her off because Joohyun had to add, “I think that would be a great idea, don’t you think, Seulgom?”

She was beyond annoying, following her like a lost fangirl. And who gave her permission to call her such name? She isn’t a bear either.

“What do you say, Kang huh?” The persistence of Seungwan made Seulgi shut her eyes so tight it hurts. Seungwan having her arm over her neck didn’t help either. She was ing invading her personal space and that annoys and angers Seulgi.

“Your family must be reall—“

“Shut up!”

Seulgi slapped Seungwan’s arm away from her and glared.

To say that Seungwan and Joohyun were taken aback was an understatement.

“You don’t know anything about me nor my family! And stop following me around.”

She turned her back to them and left. She didn’t show up in class and in their research meeting for almost 3 days and it worried them but it worried Joohyun more.

It was already dark outside but Joohyun decided to take a stroll at Yanghwa Bridge and there she spotted Kang Seulgi. To her surprise, she called her name.

Seulgi didn’t turn towards the direction of the voice. She already knew who it belongs to. It was daunting that she didn’t even flinch at the call of her name. She was leaning at the bridge’s railing, arms resting on it. She feels Joohyun stopping beside her, leaning on the railing as well.

Seulgi acknowledge her for not so invading her personal space, leaving good enough space of her liking.

“Joohyun.” She still didn’t spare a glance at the latter.

“We missed you on classes and research for a while now.” Joohyun started, fiddling with her hair.

She didn’t say anything after that; afraid that Seulgi might burst like the last time they were together. She looks at Seulgi who was still staring at nowhere but her. Time passed, no words were exchanged and Joohyun sighed in defeat, looking away with a pout. She can’t understand why she is having a liking on someone who is emotionally constipated.

“My family were killed.”

Joohyun was too surprised at the sudden revelation Seulgi started that she turned her head to latter, her neck might have snapped (thank God it didn’t). With widened eyes, she opened but her words were caught in . She wasn’t expecting that.

“I have no one, Joohyun.” Seulgi finished her sentence, looking back at Joohyun. The way the words left , Joohyun felt the heaviness and pain. And for a moment her chest tightens.

In the dark her eyes were blank and uncaring but to Joohyun, she can see through the emptiness of Seulgi. And the way Seulgi said that, she can’t fully understand but it sure hurts.

That night Joohyun learned more about Seulgi and how the latter uttered the most of her words ever since they’ve met, with her just listening and nothing more. Not that she doesn’t have anything to say (Joohyun has a lot to say) but it was something Seulgi needed the most; someone who will listen.

That night, Seulgi learned that she was capable of talking out her past to a stranger. She learned that Joohyun was probably not a stranger anymore.

Seunghwan turns to Joohyun, grinning and Joohyun knows what that smile means.

“Look who’s finally back Joohyunnie!”

Seulgi watched as Joohyun giggles and nods, meeting her eyes once more. She needed no words for Seulgi to understand.

‘Welcome home.’

Seulgi blinked momentarily and looked away. She swats away Seungwan’s arm off of her. “Tsk.”

She hates it, Seulgi thinks. She didn’t expect that one look from the older girl would cause a churning in her guts. And she hates it that Joohyun knows how to deliver her words with her gazes. She hates it most that she understands.

Seungwan widened her eyes, pointing an accusing finger towards the taller girl. “Yah yah yah! What’s with that attitude? Aish, you’re still the same, this jerk.”

“Yah! No bad words! Be mindful of the children.” Joohyun glared. Her hands are covering a child’s ears. She lets go and crossed her arms.

“And what brought you here, Seungwan? Don’t you have somewhere else to be?”

Seulgi noticed there was still the same Joohyun that she knows before. The temper was still there but they are now a lot better than before—less hitting.

“Well when I received a notice from this jerk that she’s back, I thought we could meet here—to surprise you.”

The sun was setting down and they went to Seungwan’s car to have dinner at their favourite samgyeopsal restaurant when they were still studying. It was the first time after 3 years to have dinner together.

The ride to Hongdae felt surreal. Seungwan did all the talking while driving; Seulgi on the shotgun seat and Joohyun at the back. There were couple of stealing glances from the two latters—mostly one from Seulgi. She couldn’t help but observe Joohyun and how she has changed over the years.

Joohyun is now more self-assured, Seulgi noticed from the way she carries herself. She has gotten prettier (that Seulgi has no need to admit) and calmer than before. But what bothered Seulgi was that there was no longer the Joohyun that follows her around with dreamy like eyes. Joohyun was into her phone and not her.

It shouldn’t be a bad thing but somehow she felt something’s off.

As much as Seulgi find her annoying before, is still the same annoyance for a very different reason this time.

Seulgi kept her eyes on her through the rear-view mirror and when Joohyun glanced up, she was caught staring. But Seulgi as the Kang she is, have the audacity to lock gaze with the teacher for a few seconds like it is normal to stare before turning away. She didn’t notice the blush that crept to the older woman’s face.

*

“AAH! I’m so full I can’t breathe!” Seungwan burped so loud it earned a smack on the head from Joohyun.

Seulgi leaned her back on the chair watching the two fighting over manners. Watching the scene in front of her brought her back to the memories she tried to lose with the uncertainty if she’ll ever live longer after every cases she handles. Seulgi drinks her bottle of beer and eats in silence.

“Hey Kang.” She hears Seungwan calling.

“How have you been? It’s been 3 years my friend.” It was a genuine question and soft smile on her face. Seungwan was resting her chin on her palm.

And it seems like it wasn’t just her who was expecting an answer. Joohyun too, paid attention and encourage her to say something after noticing Seulgi’s sudden discomfort. Her smile was too soft, too honest that it surprised Seulgi to find words to say.

“It was ok.” Seulgi answered shortly and ate another samgyeopsal.

There was a moment of silence before Seungwan’s outburst of complains.

“Ok? You’ve been gone and we heard nothing from you for 3 ing LONG years and you just say OK?!”

Joohyun watched Seulgi carefully and a soft sad smile tugging on the corner of her lips because out of all people, it was Joohyun who understand her the most. And now she’s back.

She was still the same Kang Seulgi. The emotionally constipated Seulgi that speaks no more than 5 words—3 words for most of the time and it was enough for Joohyun to know that their friend is back. She is still their Seulgi.

But her upturned smile turned down after realization.

Seulgi is still the same. Joohyun’s a different person now. Better.

“Give her a break Seungwan.” Joohyun interrupted the said girl’s rants. “I’m sure Seulgi didn’t get any rest yet. You’ll have plenty of time to pester her with your questions now she’s back. Right, Seulgi?”

Seulgi looked away. “Hn.”

“Well that’s good to hear. I don’t want you disappearing on us again. You didn’t know how worried we were!”

Joohyun wears a sad smile as she looks down on her plate, poking her left untouched dinner. It didn’t go unnoticed by Seulgi.

*

Seulgi grabbed her keys from her kitchen table and wore a coat as she closes the door of her apartment. She took a good deep breath and looked over the city as the sun starts peeking out and painting the buildings with its light.

It’s been 4 days since she last saw Joohyun. It disturbed her that the teacher didn’t even bother to give her a text or call. It was so not her. And now Seulgi tells herself, ‘it’s none of her concern.’

She went downstairs and started her jeep, driving a few blocks. After parking at the café near their station, Seulgi gets to order breakfast. As she waits by the counter, her eyes travelled around and in her amusement, it stopped on a certain raven. Seulgi watched Joohyun as she leads her students crossing the street.

She looks so poised and strong and…pretty.

Seulgi coughed the idea and turned away from the sight. Seungwan’s voice ringing in her head.

“Things have changed Kang! Joohyun’s not the same girl who has a big fat crush on you anymore. She moved on—just like how you moved on without us.” Seungwan said.

That wasn’t true. She didn’t abandon them. “Hm.”

It was just one of their conversations. Even though Seulgi won’t say anything, Seungwan knows there were lots of questions going inside of Seulgi’s head and one of that is why she hasn’t seen Joohyun