- friendship -

"Let's be realistic here," Luhan said as he stared at the traffic passing by the window. They were next to a busy street on a lazy Saturday afternoon. Almost two weeks had passed since they had finally called him into action. He was their last resort, their last chance at emotional manipulation and he knew it. Because somewhere in their extensive personal files it read that they had been best friends as children. "What can you actually do except for summoning? You've never got as far as to enroll into high school. You don't have a family registry. You're not exactly illiterate but your're still a slow reader and barely speak any foreign languages. You have no real job experience you could tell anyone about in seriousness. What are you going to say in a job interview? That you hunted down ghosts before? And that your special talent is that you can touch them? So in the end you'll probably end up with a ty job. Maybe work in construction or if you're lucky in the service industry or in security. Still surrounded by ghosts. No social security. Colleagues will probably ostracize you when they realize that you have occult symbols all over you. How are you supposed to tell them that you need them because ghosts hate your guts? Have you thought about these things?"
Minseok looked at him with a curious expression and then took a sip of his tea.
"Yes," he then said. "Ever since I found my file, I thought about these things."
Luhan sighed because he couldn't really argue. When he had first seen his own file, he had thought of quitting, too. As much as he understood the system of watching unusual possessions and hauntings to learn from them in the future, had he felt betrayed to realize that he had purposely been left alone with the ghost of his mother for a year. For Minseok who had been watched much longer than that, it would have been even worse. It was a cruel system because it was obvious that only those without much of a choice ever learned the full scale of the Office research apparatus.
"You're not asking me to reconsider, are you?" Minseok asked.
Luhan cratched his neck and then shrugged, "Nah." The response coaxed a tense smile out of Minseok, so he continued, "I mean, honestly, it's your life and your decision and we won't automatically stop being friends just because we don't work for the same company anymore. And let's face it, they would take you back anytime anyway because someone like you only appears once every thousand years."
At that Minseok sighed. The price he had paid to be that person had been much too high and what was his merit? To become on of the few legendary ghosts who were known by a dubious nickname like The Fishmonger? There was not much of an incentive. People worked for the Office because they had no other options.
"But you really did think about it, did you?" Luhan then asked. "This is not just a spontaneous decision, right? You do have a plan?" He hoped for a positive response but Minseok instead only frowned.
"Is this because of what happened to Yixing?" Luhan asked and something in Minseok's gaze hardened. This was what he had feared. The final nail in the coffin.
"They asked me to write a report on that. And then another one on my own experience of being possessed. And there will be another on by..." He halted his speech for a second. "By the recruit with the companion. They pretend to do this for a greater good but what they instead do is to play with our lives."
Luhan leaned back in his chair and folded his arms in front of his chest. "So you handed in your resignation instead."
For a moment none of them said another word. The café was instead filled with the noises of the other customers around them. Clicking cups and plates and muffled conversations and shuffling feet.
"Well, as I said, I'll always be your friend," Luhan then concluded and Minseok gave him the kind of grateful smile that reminded him of the time when they had swapped secrets as children.
Truth to be told, he was not without doubts either. Him being to too scared to leave did not mean that he would force someone braver than him to stay. It did worry him. He did think it was a waste. But he was not in the position to interfere.
"And just so you know, I'm not going to pay for your coffee just because you're broke now," he then added and Minseok surprised him by letting out a chuckle.

- wedding invitation -

"You're not going out this week either?" Yura asked when she found her brother watching TV in the living room after lunch. He still wore his ugliest sweatpants and a worn-out hoodie. They were not the clothes he slept in or those he went out in. He only wore his worst clothes when he did not plan to go anywhere. Normally, she wouldn't have commented on it but for a few weeks he had almost seemed to have a social life, always busy, always late. And suddenly he spent the second Saturday in a row moping around as if nothing had changed.
Her brother only shrugged in response and then shook himself as if a chill had washed over him. "No, I'm not going out," he said and pulled his phone out of the pocket of his hoodie to give it a very busy glance. Clearly he was busy procrastinating.
She nodded and then thought of just leaving it at that. It was not her business to check what her adult brother did in his free time. If he wanted to spent his weekend watching daytime TV, so be it.
But then something began to nag at the back of her mind, something that had bothered her for weeks. They had never finished the conversation about the guy in the club. Something had changed in his life and even if it had eventally halted, she still feared that she would miss another opportunity to help.
"Well, seeing that you obviously have nothing better to do," she said and nodded towards the TV. "You might as well come with me and help me pick a dress for a wedding."
Her brother slowly turned his head into her direction with raised eyebrows.
"I didn't know you were getting married," he said without moving. He looked like it would take an army to get him off the couch.
She rolled her eyed at him and fought the urge to just dropkick him, when she said, "It's for a friend's wedding. Remember Joohee? She's the one who gets married."
He let out an apprehensive sound and turned his head back at the TV. "I thought you hated her."
She shrugged, "Hate is a strong word. I just think she's a ." Chanyeol grinned, so she continued, "Which is why I need a really hot dress. And before you tell me that I should just ask any of my friends to come with me, let me tell you that I need a guy opinion and  I have no guy friends I trust enough not to misunderstand my intentions."
Her brother scratched his neck in return and then frowned at the TV. "How's a guy opinion different from a girl opinion though? I thought girls have better taste," he then said in a very disinterested voice.
"I want the kind of y dress that makes the groom regret choosing his bride over me," she clarified.
At first he only threw her a questioning glance. Then he wrinkled his nose in distaste and said, "Okay, gross. That's not how I want to see my sister. And anyway, I'm not-." He stopped and his eyes widened a little.
"You're not what?" she asked. Something about his tone bothered her. "Not free? Is anyone paying you to fart into the couch and remember the news by heart instead?"
He pulled a face at her and, being her brother, probably was about to note that she was not exactly going to pay him either, so she said, "I'll buy you cake if you help me."
He threw her a suspicious glance. "What kind of cake?"
It took her all her might not to break out into a wide grin because something about the moment felt like a sudden summer breeze in autumn. They were so much older now but he was still her little brother. Their banter was still so much how it had been when they had been little and that thought was strangely comforting.

- work -

"I'm asking you because I don't know," Jongdae said from behind his screen. A pile of half-written reports blocked him from view. Everything Junmyeon had not managed to finish had been assigned to Jongdae while Junmyeon's security level had been changed temporarily so that he could sift through the things Minseok had left behind. There were hundreds of emails and print-outs and handwritten notes in binders labelled confidential. Junmyeon was barely able to grasp the full scale of the things Minseok had done in over fifteen years at the Office. He had already sent piles of material to the archives but it never seemed to end. It was not even that Minseok's files were messy or hard to sort. There just was too much. Too much that was too grave.
"Seriously, how are we supposed to deal with this?" Jongdae continued when Junmyeon didn't reply. "How are the two of us supposed to do the job of four people? Worse even. How are the two of us supposed to do the job of three regular people and Minseok-hyung?" There was a sound of rustling paper and rapid taps on a keyboard.
Junmyeon sighed and put a print-out of Park Chanyeol's schedule on a pile of things that could probably be thrown away. All Minseok had done was to circle his Saturdays. If the thing with Yixing had not happened, Minseok would probably be off somewhere to show Park Chanyeol something gruesome that very moment. It was hard not to think if Yixing as the culprit.
The was a slamming noise and Junmyeon looked up in surprise. Jongdae could still not be seen when he said, "We can't even do our rounds at this point. We're stuck here while the ghosts can just romp around. And what if something bad happens? There are things only Minseok-hyung could deal with. I can't make a hostile ghost leave and you can't either."
Junmyeon pressed his lips together and looked at a note he had stuck to his screen. "We're supposed to call Kim Jongin in emergency cases like that," he said as his gaze followed the lines of scribbled names and numbers. Kim Jongin for summonings they couldn't deal with. Wu Yifan in case Park Chanyeol came back. A number without a name that would connect them to someone in the archives if they found anything potentially damaging.
"Who?" Jongdae asked.
"From the Eastern branch," Junmyeon said. Kim Jongin, the one who had called Minseok about Yixing. As far as Junmyeon knew, he didn't get punished despite breaking the rules. The Office probably couldn't risk losing another genius. "He can deal with emergencies."
There was a long pause after that. The clock ticket and Junmyeon received an email from the achives with a question on a scan he had sent earlier that day. They wanted to know if there was a second page. He had not even realized that something had been missing.
"Isn't that the guy who asked Minseok-hyung for help the other day?" Jongdae then asked and there clearly was irritation in his voice. Junmyeon didn't answer because he was too tired to argue. All these things seemed to have happened eternities ago.
"I mean, , hyung, what the hell are we doing here?" Jongdae asked and his face finally emerged from behind his screen.
And Junmyeon knew what he meant, he really did. Everything had broked apart on that day when Minseok had told him that Yixing had got himself possessed. The ghosts had forbidden to get in contact with them. Minseok had quit the next day. A Nameless One had informed them that Yixing would get transferred south. Park Chanyeol had never returned although Jongdae had tried to get in contact with him. There was no info on replacements, just a list with numbers someone had dictated via phone. The whole situation was the hardest thing Junmyeon had had to deal with since that time right after the plane crash seven years earlier. He felt as if he was slowly drowning in a swamp and if he was honest, if he was completely honest, was he not sure if he would make it out.
But he couldn't be honest, so he said, "We do what we have to do. This is our job. We're here to save people."
Jongdae made a disgruntled noise and disappeared again. It was obvious what he thought because Junmyeon thought the same. It was the question Minseok had asked right before he had walked away.
If they were here to save people, why had they not been allowed to save Yixing?
But there was no time for futile thoughts like that. Junmyeon was not going to quit.  This work was all he had.

- encounter -

"Okay, so I'm probably not supposed to tell you because it's confidential and you're technically an outsider now," Luhan began as he put up his cup to get the last drop of coffee out of it before they were going to leave. Minseok threw him a quick glance while he pulled out his jacket off from somewhere behind him. He had casually slung it over the back of the much too comfortable chair but it must have slowly slid off as he had moved. It had been almost two hours since they had entered the coffee shop.
"But Yixing is fine," Luhan continued and Minseok stopped moving. "They transferred him to Gwangju for now to make sure that he's not going to be harrassed by any of the ghosts that possessed him. I'm not sure how many it were exactly, but that's the reason. He's not directly being punished or anything."
Minseok didn't say anything and it was hard to tell what his expression meant. He seemed both frustrated and relieved.
"I'm not saying that that they've made the right call anything," Luhan shrugged. "Just thought you should know."
Minseok sighed and looked at his hands and then said, "Thanks."
After a moment of idly staring at the people around them, Luhan then picked up his bag and looked at Minseok who stood up with a nod. They quickly put on their jackets and Luhan gave the table a quick glance to check whether he had packed all his stuff, before he hurried after Minseok who had already gone ahead. Minseok probably just never carried enough things to be at risk of leaving anything behind.
They were already at the door when Minseok suddenly stopped and Luhan bumped into his back.
"What the...?" Luhan asked.
"Minseok-sshi," an unfamiliar voice said sharply. A tall guy had stopped right in front of them while an almost equally tall lady hung at his arm and looked at them curiously. A surprisingly brilliant ghost in a school uniform was on his other side. Luhan wasn't sure whether it was that ghost's presence, but Minseok took a step backwards and painfully stepped on his foot.
He was about to howl in protest, when Minseok said, "Yixing is fine." There was nothing else. No greetings, no common courteousy, nothing at all. Luhan still blinked at the trio in confusion when everything happened very fast.
"Wait, what about-," the tall guy began when Minseok already started to storm off.
"No, no, no, stop," the ghost said quickly and tried to hold onto him but Minseok threw him across the room with a flick of his wrist.
"Who's Yixing?" the tall lady asked and let go of the tall guy's arm to look at him questioningly.
"Minseok-ah," Luhan said and followed him through the door. Minseok had a tendency to walk rather fast but this time he almost ran. "Minseok-ah, what the hell?" he exclaimed when he felt coldness waft through him. Ghosts passing through him was his least favorite sensation, so he instinctively stopped to catch his breath.
The ghost swerved around Minseok and then tried to block his path but Minseok simply marched through him.
"Turn around," the ghost shouted in a voice like breaking ice and Luhan felt a shiver run down his spine. "Please just turn around! You can't just leave now. You know full well that I can't do anything to help and he still needs help. He needs you."
Minseok stopped and Luhan and the ghost slowly caught up to him. The ghost whispered something Luhan didn't catch and Minseok turned his head to look at him. Luhan was only a couple of steps behind him when Minseok quickly grabbed the ghost's arm. There was something about the image that still terrified Luhan, no matter how often he saw it. A ghost being touched was as impossible as catching a cloud. His brain refused to process what his eyes saw.
"His problem is you," Minseok said quietly. "I can easily get rid of you." The ghost slightly squirmed in his grasp like a caught fish.
"I don't mind leaving," the ghost said. "But if I leave, you have to stay." Minseok let go of him and he seemed relieved because his shoulders loosened up a little before he continued, "Look, I don't know what you think you heard but-." Minseok quickly moved his hand in front if him and the ghost's mouth still motioned words but there was no sound. It took the ghost a second until he realized it. Once he did, he became desperate. He flickered and a strange sensation reached all the way to where Luhan stood. Clear emotions like that were rare.
"I'm not part of the Office anymore," Minseok then said. "It's not my duty to save anyone."

- a change in perspective -

Sometimes it didn’t matter what Yura did or said, her brother was too deep inside his own head. He might nod or make sounds to show that he heard her, but his gaze was completely empty. It was like watching someone through a one-way mirror. No matter what she did, to him she was practically invisible.
So she knew that he would not choose a cake although he intently stared at the counter. She simply ordered two slices of chocolate cake and two lattes, pushed the tray at him to carry and then pulled him along to a table further inside. If she wanted to talk to him, she first had to coax him out of his shell.
He mechanically put the tray on the small table while she flopped into a soft chair. Once she sat, she carefully put the large paper bag with the dress next to her.
“Joohee is going to be mad when she sees me,” she noted as she threw a glance inside the bag. Her brother made a meaningless sound and used his fork to pick at his cake.
“So anyway,” she began as she took a sip of her coffee and casually crossed her legs. “Who were those guys just now?”
Her brother looked at her but didn’t seem to comprehend her words.
"You know that you can tell me if there's anything going on, right?" she asked. Rather than to reply, he blinked rapidly as if he had something in his eye. He probably wondered about that. Had she always listened when he had tried to tell her something? Probably not.
He averted his gaze and picked at the cake again. "I don't know who the one in the blue jacket was. It's not like I know everybody in the city," he said as he stuffed a much too large piece of cake in his mouth.
She tried not to groan at the non-answer. "So what you're trying to say is that you do know the other one," she noted. "Which I already figured since he went out of his way to tell you that someone else was okay. Is he Chinese by the way? The name sounded Chinese. He looked a little Chinese, too."
She could tell that her approach was too aggressive by the way he seemed to sink further into his chair.
"I don't think he is," her brother said.
"You don't think?" she asked and raised her eyebrow.
He sighed and then stared at his cake with a foul expression before he said, "Yeah, I don't think. He doesn't have an accent. He has a Korean name. He seems Korean to me, but it's not like he showed me his birth certificate. It's not like that comes up in a conversation. 'Hey, are you Korean by the way? I'm not a racist or anything, I'm just curious.' So well, I guess he's Korean or else Baekhyun-." He suddenly stopped his rant and she felt as though the blood in  her veins was freezing over.
Byun Baekhyun. It all always lead back to that boy. Ten years had passed but his shadow still lingered over them.
"What...?" she began but then wasn't sure what she even wanted to ask. If this was somehow connected to Byun Baekhyun, there probably were too many questions she couldn't even fathom yet.
"Noona, I..." her brother sighed and leaned back a little but still looked down. "Trust me, there are things you don't want to know."
She furrowed her eyes at him for a moment. Things she didn't want to know about? Like the reason why he had believed to see his dead friend? Why he had slit his wrist? Why he had stopped talking for a while? Why he had refused to meet Saebyul? Why he sometimes stayed out all night and then never left the house? Why he didn't care about his future? Why some guy told him that some other guy whose name she had never heard before was fine?
And then she realized that this was how he saw her, how he had seen her all along. To him she was someone who didn't actually want to know.
"Who the hell are you to decide that for me?" she spat and he looked up in surprise. It wasn't only anger she felt. There was sadness, too, and embarrassment. But only one of the emotions broke out. "Don't make this about me. If you don't want to tell me because you think that I'm probably no help anyway, okay, cool, that's your choice. But I am willing to listen. I regret that I didn't properly listen before, okay? But I'm not nineteen anymore. I can deal with whatever you throw at me."
Her brother drew his eyebrows very low while he leaned all the way back in his chair as if he needed to create a distance between them.
"We're family after all," she said and tried to make her voice sound softer than before, but it probaby still came off as confrontational.
He didn't immediately reply and instead crossed his arms in front of his chest while staring at the ceiling. "It would change your view of me," he then said quietly.
It made her a little uncomfortable because the scale of the thing he kept from her seemed way above anything she could imagine. Ten years earlier, he had been psychotic and suicidal. He had been convinced that his dead friend talked to him. If this secret was similar to that, she wouldn't be able to help. She was an office clerk, not a psychiatrist. But she didn't want to back out now, so she said, "My view of you also changed when you learned how to walk and talk. You're not as cute anymore, but I think we can all agree that it's a good thing that I don't have to change your diapers or that you don't spit your food into my face when you don't like it."
He automatically grinned in return and finally threw her a quick glance. There was a twinkle in his eyes, the same twinkle that had been there ever since he had been a little child. No matter what, she doubted that she would ever not see him as the same person.
His smile only lasted for a few seconds however, before it gave way to another frown. She automatically braced herself.
"The guy just now," he began and looked down at his folded arms. "He's the one I told you about before. We hung out."
She nodded and tried to think back to all the vague comments he had made during the last couple of weeks. He probably talked about the guy he went to a club with. The guy who was maybe a friend and maybe not.
"He helped me sort out a few things and I think I started to depend on him a little too much," he continued in a strange tone. "It didn't even occur to me that he maybe has issues, too. So when I found out, I think acted a bit rash. I mean, what happened to me is nothing compared to what happened to him. I'm not even sure what I'm supposed to say to him now."
She wasn't sure what to make of his words because they were as vague as ever. But this time it didn't seem as if he tried to hide something about himself from her, but as if he tried not to spill someone else's secret.
"So where did you meet him in the first place?" she asked because it seemed a harmless enough question and because she tried to piece the story together from the beginning. If this had anything to do with Byun Baekhyun, the guy would have to be an old acquaintance.
Her brother angled his head a little as if he didn't understand the point of the question, but then said, "He walked into the shop one day."
"Oh, he's a customer?" Yura asked and clearly surprised him with her surprise. He had started to work in the bike shop long after Byun Baekhyun had died.
"Not exactly," he said evasively and clearly wasn't willing to elaborate. Direct questions obviously were an issue.
"Okay," she said and thought about it for a moment. She didn't understand a thing. "So you met him and you hung out and then you found out something about his past and you don't know how to deal with it?" She gave him a questioning glance and he nodded.
She wondered what it was. Had the guy committed a crime of some sort? Or had he been a victim of a crime? It was hard not to ask. No one had ever told her anything that grave. "And I assume you didn't talk to him it after that and now you don't know how to?"
He winced and she sighed. That explained why the guy had just left without another word. He had told Chanyeol something and Chanyeol had probably just run away. The same thing had happened to her ten years earlier, so she understood that feeling. But this was different. She had run away from her brother, he from someone who seemed merely more than a stranger.
"But do you really want to help him or do you feel that you have to?" she asked and he furrowed his brows as if he didn't understand the question. "I mean, do you owe him anything? You can't deal with the issues of every single person you meet. You have your own life to sort out, so honestly, I think it's okay if you-."
"I want to help," he quickly interrupted her and then blinked as if he was surprised at his own words. "I want to help him," he repeated, this time a little more firmly. "Not because I have to. I want to because..." He trailed off.
"Because?" she asked.
He let out a strangled noise and raised his shoulders while moving his head clother to his chest. It made him look like a child scared of the dark and she wondered what the guy had told him. What kind of secret caused this reaction? What would have been worse than trying to die after one's best friend had jumped off the school? Why would he even willingly deal with this?
It didn't make any sense to her.
But sometimes the questions were more complicated than their answers. Sometimes it was all very easy. All it took was a slight change of perspective.
"Because I think I..." her brother began in barely more than a whisper. "I think I'm in love with him."
She swallowed and it took her a painfully long moment to process his words. He shifted in his chair and leaned forward to busily grab his cup. He took a sip but then choked and coughed.
It was so easy.
It was all so ridiculously easy and she felt like an idiot because she had never even considered that explanation.
Byun Baekhyun. Saebyul. Her brother's refusal to settle down. Everything he had said during the last couple of weeks. The guy who was not quite a friend. Everything shifted into place.
"Did you tell him that?" she asked and her voice sounded distant to herself.
He threw her a quick glance.
"I mean, sometimes you don't have to do more than to tell someone what they mean to you," she said. "Sometimes it's enough just to be there."

-  nudge -

"You know what, I don't give a if you listen to me or not," Baekhyun said while Chanyeol walked by him with his sister. He had seen them from the outside but had been too tired of it all to go inside. It still was hard to utter words after what Kim Minseok had done to him. Before, he had always held back but this time Kim Minseok had almost wiped him off the face of the earth. It was not death Baekhyun had stared at but something much worse. He had felt absolute nothingness. The complete absence of life.
"I'm not getting close to him ever again. I want nothing to do with all your bull. I'm tired of caring about you. You never hear what I have to say anyway," he continued as he floated next to them. Chanyeol didn't acknowledge him because his sister was there.
"So this is the last ing time I meddle with your business."
Chanyeol threw him a quick glance while his sister looked into her paper bag to smile at her red dress. They were both people who constantly caused an uproar around them.
"Just so you know, Kim Minseok said that he quit the Office and that he's not going to try and save anyone anymore." At the mention of the name, Chanyeol slowed down a little and his sister threw him a questioning glance.
"What's wrong?" she asked and slung her arm around his. He only shook his head.
"He said he'd go to the place where his mother died," Baekhyun said and Chanyeol stopped abruptly.
"Obviously, he didn't say it like that. He told his best friend that he'd go to his old house but you know what he's like. Always considers his audience. He was moved to an Office facility after he offed his mother and he never would have called that 'his house'. His friend maybe doesn't know that but I do. God knows what he's trying to do there. I reckon he has not that much to live for, now that he quit."
Chanyeol balled his hands into fists but still didn't say anything.
"Seriously, is anything the matter?" his sister asked.
"Noona, I," Chanyeol began.
"The thing is, let's assume he tries to kill himself. Do you think they'll just let him go? Maybe he can't even ascend to heaven because the Office people hold him back to study him a little more," Baekhyun noted and felt grim satisfaction when Chanyeol finally snapped.
Chanyeol had already dashed a few paces away from her before he turned around and said, "Noona, I have to go. Don't wait for me."
"Oh, okay," she said and held up her hand to wave, only to then let it drop to her side when he was already too far away.
"He doesn't even know where he's going," Baekhyun said and she rubbed her arm as if cold.