A/N: 

h-hello....i'm sorry this update took so long life kinda gets in the way. but anyways, thank you so much to everyone that's been keeping up with this story, and hopefully this last chapter is of your liking!!

enjoy~

Jungeun falls on her bed and the sound of her own body hitting the mattress startles her. The impact makes her phone bounce off the bed, crashing against the floor with a loud bang.

Oh my god, Jungeun thinks, please don’t let it be broken.

She doesn’t have the energy to check and she can feel tears behind her eyes starting to form over the fear of a shattered screen.

This is it...this is her breaking point, and it happens to be a very pathetic one.

Once the tears start falling it’s hard to stop them. In a matter of seconds, the frustration tears turn into upset ones and the upset ones into despair ones. Jungeun hopes that somehow this abrupt crying session helps with getting it all out of her system and get some relief, but instead it only makes her feel worse. Almost like she’s immersing in her own feelings, drowning.

The sound of her own sobbing becomes background noise as Jungeun becomes too preoccupied with Jisung’s words from earlier replaying in her head. Over and over again like a loop that she wishes would turn out different every time it plays; only to leave her with a bigger heartbreak every time it doesn’t.

“So, everything was a lie?” His voice had sounded harsh, harsh enough to make up for the glittery look of his eyes.

“No! I just- I didn’t mean to hurt you,” Jungeun had said in defense, though it had been pointless as Jisung was no longer listening to her.

“You’re lying even now. Do you ever stop?”

She had nothing to say, there was nothing that would alleviate the situation at that point.

She had gone to Jisung’s house on a whim, on a sudden burst of courage in which she had decided that enough was enough and that things needed to end right there and then.

Seeing Sooyoung hurt over her actions had almost been like a wakeup call for Jungeun. Not that Jisung wasn’t enough, but now more people around her were getting hurt while trying to help her, and it was all getting way too confusing for Jungeun to continue turning a blind eye to the mess she made.

The conversation had been awkward and uncomfortable in every way possible and even going to Jisung’s house so suddenly felt wrong and invasive, considering that in a way, he doesn’t really know who she is. Knocking on the door had Jungeun on the verge of an anxiety attack and seeing Jisung open it with a questioning, yet friendly look didn’t do much to dissipate it.

Even now, as she lies on bed, the thought of how his friendly expression turned into a hurt, broken one, makes her heart clench.

“Hi, Jisung,” She had said in an apprehensive manner.

Her words made Jisung frown, his head tilting to the side in confusion, “Sorry to ask, but do I know you?”

“Ah, kinda…” Jungeun knew that was the moment to say it all, she took a big sigh and started explaining things. Slowly, taking much-needed breaths in between, and not stopping no matter how mad it all sounded or how confused Jisung looked, or how much he probably wanted to slam the door in her face. She kept talking as she very painfully ignored everything, including the hurt look starting to show in front of her.

It had been messy, both of them with tears coating their eyes, Jisung walking a thin line between anger, confusion and sadness while Jungeun felt like the worst person to ever walk on earth.

The part that she hates the most now is the walking away feeling relieved. To be glad about finally having that out of her chest and the weight of the lie off her shoulders. To somehow feel as if things were better now that Jisung is hurt. To feel as if she’s gained out of taking something from someone she cares about deeply.

Jungeun doesn’t know what to do about these opposing feelings, about not being sure of what to feel about this situation, about Jisung, towards Sooyoung. So, she just does the only thing that seems accessible and not scary now; crying.

She cries for hours, probably harder than in her entire life. This seems to have become a frequent activity for her these days. All the practice makes her finally break her crying record, apparently.

feels harsh and dry, contrasting with her face, pillow and shirt; all soaked with tears. It doesn’t help much, it just makes her tired, drains her from all the energy left in her -which wasn’t much anyway- and even makes her head hurt.

She’s too focused crying to notice the sleep slowly taking over her body. Her sobbing calms down a bit, and her eyes feel heavier as if the weight of all the tears she had just shed was still there. Her blinking becomes slower and before she knows it, she’s sleeping.

*

The sound of a buzzing phone against the cold hard floor is what wakes Jungeun up.

She’s uncertain of how long she slept for but surely it wasn’t enough, she feels even more tired now. She barely has the energy to get out of bed, so she just rolls to the edge of it to reach for her phone.

She lets out a sigh of relief at finding it with no cracks and in perfect condition. She has unread messages from Jiwoo, asking her in at least ten different ways if she’s okay or needs anything. Somehow in-between a nap and a nervous breakdown, Jungeun had managed to give Jiwoo a brief explanation of what had gone down between herself and Jisung. This, apparently, had left Jiwoo very worried about her best friend; but who wouldn’t be after receiving paragraph long texts that mostly consist of words that look like pure key smashing and poorly redacted sentences with a couple of voice notes in between in which sniffing and shaky breaths can be heard.

One of Jiwoo’s texts stands out from the rest and gains all of Jungeun’s attention.

Jiwoo: hey, feeling better?! :(  remember i care about u a lot and that i’m here if u need to talk and uh

Jiwoo: don’t kill me later :)

She hits call, ready to interrogate Jiwoo about what she meant by that, but the first ringing gets interrupted by a knock on Jungeun’s door.

“Come in!” She says mindlessly, as she waits for Jiwoo to pick up the phone.

She expects one of her parents to walk through the door, worried about the radio silence they’ve had from their teenage daughter, who’s been locked up in her room practically all day. She’s prepared to give a lie about how she just needed to sleep off a headache that’s been killing her since morning, probably from all the stress caused by the intense schoolwork that comes with senior year. All her planning becomes useless when she notices the person that’s actually coming into her room.

The unexpected visitor causes Jungeun to drop her phone (for the second time that day) as Jiwoo’s voice goes, “Hello? Jungeun?”

This time the screen cracking is the least of her worries.

“Your dad let me in, he thought we, uh, had a tutoring session today or something.”

Jungeun can only nod, too dumbfounded by Sooyoung’s presence. She has so much she wants to say, a bunch of thoughts run through her mind per second, but nothing comes out of , she just stands frozen in place.

Sooyoung doesn’t move either, she looks uncomfortable and unsure of what to do next. She looks around for a few seconds until eventually her eyes fall back on Jungeun. The other girl looks like a mess, and not in the cute way like that one time after the first date with Jisung. This time she looks completely destroyed, if she tried Sooyoung could probably look into the other girl’s eyes and count in how many parts her heart had broken into.

“Did Jiwoo- tell you?” Jungeun finally breaks her silence.

Sooyoung speaks over the second half of Jungeun’s sentence, “Jiwoo told me, yeah.”

Jungeun takes a big sigh, now her friend’s text makes sense, “Of course she did.”

The two go silent again, but it’s not much before Sooyoung speaks again.

“How’d it go? You- Are you okay?”

Those words trigger something in Jungeun and suddenly she feels like bursting into tears all over again. She just shakes her head until she feels confident in her voice not breaking while she speaks.

“Don’t. You shouldn’t-” Jungeun takes a second to gather her thoughts before speaking again, “You shouldn’t be worrying about me when I haven’t even apologized for snapping on you like I did.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Sooyoung waves her hands dismissively, “Right now I only care about you being okay.”

Honestly, when Jiwoo told Sooyoung about Jungeun finally coming clean to Jisung about everything, she knew immediately that it must have been hard for the girl; Jiwoo confirmed her suspicions when she told her that Jungeun couldn’t be reached for over four hours. That had only made Sooyoung worry even more.

Yeah, she was mad and hurt at Jungeun and things had been in an awkward place even before they had that fight, but Sooyoung knew that she wanted to be there for the girl no matter what.

She knew that now, more than ever, Jungeun would need a shoulder to lean on…or two considering she also has Jiwoo. But still, she wanted to make sure she was alright, she needed to.

Sooyoung rushed to Jungeun’s house as soon as her call with Jiwoo ended.

“I do worry,” Jungeun takes a couple of steps towards Sooyoung, finally closing the awkward gap between them, “I don’t deserve that. You’ve been nothing but amazing to me through all of this and I was a total to you when you were just helping and I hurt you and made you cry and you-”

“Hey,” Sooyoung interrupts Jungeun before she runs out of breath, this time she’s the one to take a step closer to the talking girl. She grabs Jungeun’s hands reassuringly and tries to not get distracted by how much she had missed doing that, “It’s fine, really. I get it. We’re okay.”

Jungeun looks down to their intertwined fingers and lets a small smile escape her for the first time in days as she feels the warmth of both Sooyoung’s hands and her words.

“I’m sorry, I really am,” Jungeun says softly.

“I know you are.”

As the air seems to become easier to breathe, they move to continue their conversation sitting on the edge of Jungeun’s bed.

“So, how are you feeling?” Sooyoung insists.

Jungeun’s scared to answer that question, still unsure of how to put her somehow contradictory feelings into words, she’s barely managed to put them into thoughts she herself can understand.

“Bad.” She says simply. “But relieved, I think.”

“That’s normal,” Sooyoung replies sounding sincere, but still concerned.

“I couldn’t keep lying to him. I hate what this became. You know, I never wanted to hurt people around me for the sake of my own feelings, it was stupid. I was stupid for thinking it wouldn’t end like this, for even getting into this situation.”

Jungeun feels gross all over again as she thinks of everything she caused but tries her best to focus on the feeling that comes with having finally said the truth, even if it had come a little late, even if it felt as if she had done more damage to Jisung than good.

She stops herself before her thoughts become darker again.

“Hm,” Sooyoung mumbles, “I mean, you were...but you’re in the age to do dumb stuff, yeah? If not now, then when. Sometimes you gotta make the mistake to learn the lesson. What matters is that now you amend it, which you got the intention of doing, right? That’s a good start, life is like…trial and error or whatever.”

Jungeun lets out a soft laugh at Sooyoung’s attempt to sound cool near the end of her short (yet inspiring) talk. She appreciates it. “You’re smarter than you pretend, bet you never even needed my help.”

Sooyoung jokingly elbows Jungeun, and places her index finger over , “Shh, don’t tell anyone.”

“Oh god,” Jungeun says dramatically, “Not any more secrets, please.”

As Sooyoung’s laugh fills the air, Jungeun thinks back to Jiwoo’s text and how killing her is the last thing she wants to do right now. She’d thank her, if anything, for telling Sooyoung, for somehow knowing exactly what she needed, for always making things better.

She’s finally able to feel lighter, to enjoy Sooyoung’s presence without a lie weighing her down, she can sense the sinking feeling in her stomach getting significantly smaller.

Things aren’t perfect but at least they’re getting better.

At least she has Sooyoung.

*

Jungeun spends a lot of alone time in the following days, she needs it. Her mind uses every second of silence to scream about Jisung, asking to reach out to him and somehow make things better, at least try to; but she knows that if she herself needs some time then so does he, and probably twice as much. Jungeun ignores the impulse to text him, call him, or go knock on his door again, impulse which is always bothering her at the back of her mind and somehow managing to steal most of her energy; all she can do is let it and try to distract herself from those feelings by imagining all the different ways in which the conversation with Jisung could go.

She narrows it down to four options:

1. He completely avoids her, and the conversation never actually happens.
2. He hears her out but ends up hating her even more.
3. Talking about it only makes the fresh wound bigger and Jisung gets hurt once again.
4. Jisung files a restriction order.

Jungeun believes all options are completely possible and realistic, she even considers all of them becoming a reality, they could occur on that exact chronological order. The thought makes her shudder.

The more thinking she does the more suffocated and troubled she feels. It takes a couple of days for Jungeun to finally decide on going to Jiwoo for a professional opinion; she’ll trust on her judgement of which option seems the most probable and on the best way to approach the situation.

As she presents her case to Jiwoo, the girl only listens, barely saying any words in between and only making a sound here and there to assure Jungeun that she’s paying attention.

“So,” Jungeun says slightly out of breath from all the talking, “What do you think.”

Jiwoo has her hands over pensively, she opens to talk a couple of times, but each time she closes it without any actual words coming out of it.

“Jungie,” She finally says, “I’m saying this with the nicest possible intentions, but I think you’re being a bit dramatic.”

“I-”

“No,” Jiwoo speaks again, interrupting the other girl, “Very dramatic, actually. You’re being very dramatic and negative”

Jungeun sighs, “I just…worry.”

“As you should but, let’s think about things rationally here. Does Jisung really seem like the type of guy to act out of spite?”

“Well…no,” Jungeun replies half-heartedly, “But what I did to him was-”

“Awful, yes. But based on what you’ve told me he seems like a really mature and level-headed guy that would very much be up for a conversation about this.”

“Yeah but-”

Jungeun is once again shut down by Jiwoo at record speed as she lifts her finger in a shushing manner.

“There’s no way he would actually react like you just said and you know it, that’s just you overthinking too much, as always. And I promise you that right now talking is the only and best thing you can do. Maybe things won’t end up perfect between you two, but things will be solved, and that’s what we want, right?”

Jungeun remains silent as she internalizes Jiwoo’s words, she knows they speak the truth, she always had, but her mind simply refuses to listen to any of her own thoughts that aren’t horribly negative, so having Jiwoo saying it eases her down and reassures her into being sure that this is the best thing to do. She knows she can’t just walk away from Jisung without even trying to fix things.

“Right?!” Jiwoo insists and pulls her back into the conversation.

Jungeun nods, “Right. That’s what we want.”

Jiwoo offers Jungeun one of her most genuine smiles, the type that somehow always make things feel better, “And that’s what we’ll get!”

*

Two weeks and three days pass since Jungeun had last spoken with Jisung; at this point she’s fully accepted the possibility that the boy might never want her in his life again and she’s okay with it…‘Okay’ meaning that she completely hates the idea but fully understands it, she’d expect no less after what happened.

In the past days she had given into the urge of sending Jisung more than a couple of awkward texts, she never knew what to say but always managed to come up with some form of variation of the “Please let’s talk whenever you can/want” premise.

She never gets a reply; the text wouldn’t even be opened.

It is during a day in which Jungeun’s feeling particularly hopeless in which she decides that she has nothing to lose and now it’s the perfect time to send a long text basically consisting of “I know I don’t deserve it and you have no reason to, but can we please talk, just once. Hear me out one last time.”

Hours go by before her phone gets a reply, but she ignores it for another hour thinking it’s nothing important, most definitely not Jisung. When she finally checks her phone, she feels adrenaline kick in, almost like a blow to her stomach.

Jisung: Ok

Jisung: meet me outside my house later today. at 5pm

She feels relief, hope and fear all at once.

Jungeun: thank u.

*

Jungeun feels her knees wobble more and more with each step she takes towards Jisung’s house; she wouldn’t be surprised if they suddenly snapped in half or something.

All the emotions make Jungeun almost feels like she’s walking into some sort of warzone in which her purpose is, ironically enough, avoiding a battle. No matter what you do, don’t hurt the other party. Don’t hurt Jisung, not anymore.

As she approaches Jisung’s house she sees him sitting on the sidewalk across his home. She takes a deep breath and walks towards him.

As she quietly stands by his side, Jisung makes no action to acknowledge her, he just rests his head on his knees, and taps his fingers against his shoe.

“Jisung, hi. I-” Jungeun stops mid-sentence and clears , she then decides to sit next to him before continuing talking.

“I’m sorry,” She says.

The boy looks calm and stiff, barely taking any noticeable breaths, and still failing to acknowledge Jungeun’s presence.

“I know that no matter how many times I say that, it will never make up for I did to you, but I really, truly mean it.”

A few seconds go by.

“Why did you do it?” He speaks for the first time in a very monotonous voice; his cold manner is betrayed by the frown forming on his face.

Jungeun sighs and shakes her head, knowing that no answer will ever be enough for that question, “I guess I just- I wanted to keep talking to you and at the time that seemed like the only way to get close to you, I- Honestly I don’t know. I didn’t really think things through.”

He nods his head softly, still not meeting Jungeun’s eyes.

“What about Sooyoung? Was it a joke for her? For you?”

“God, no,” Jungeun replies in a heartbeat, “No. I’m the one that dragged her into this, she was just helping me, really. Resent me all you want but she-”

Jisung finally s his body and faces Jungeun, arching his eyebrows questioningly.

“Not her.”

He says nothing, and eventually his eyes leave Jungeun’s and instead look down to the ground.

“Look,” Jungeun speaks again, “I had to tell you cause I care about you; not even as a crush or anything like that, but as a friend, and as someone that I couldn’t stand to hurt any longer. I really mean it when I say that you’re a great person that deserves so much better than this and I’m really sorry that I didn’t give that to you.”

 “Yeah…Me too,” Is all he says before they fall into complete silence.

Unsure of how long they’re quiet for, Jungeun gathers the courage to speak again, “You know, I didn’t want you finding out any other way; it was better ending it now. I mean, I should have done it way sooner- Actually I’m sorry it ever started.”

Jisung takes a deep sigh, as he runs his hand through his hair. His stare looks pensive, and heavy to hold.

“I-” He starts, but quickly chokes on his words. A few seconds pass till he speaks again, “I don’t know what to tell you.”

Jungeun makes a humming noise, understanding his lack of words; she’s been in that position too.

“I get it,” Jisung says, “But not really. Like, the you that stands in front of me right now, I can’t really see it as the same person that has been texting me all this time.”

He shakes his head, mostly to himself, “And not because of your appearance, but because of the lie. And even now that I know you had no ill intentions or anything, and actually meant all of it I still can’t- We can’t go back to the way things were, at least not now.”

Jungeun takes a deep breath, a part of her was expecting those words, “That’s okay, really; I wouldn’t expect us to. I don’t get to be liked like that, I get it. I just…don’t want you to resent me.”

It almost sounds like a plea, and Jungeun doesn’t care.

Jisung looks up to meet Jungeun’s eyes.

“I don’t. I couldn’t,” His words are slow, “I still care about you.”

He lets out a humorless laugh, “I mean, we did bond after all.”

“We did,” Jungeun murmurs.

Soft smiles form for the first time.

Silence falls between the two once again, but this time it feels different; it’s lighter and doesn’t make the air impossible to breathe.

“So,” Jungeun starts hesitantly, “….Friends?”

She feels like a loser as she stretches out her hand towards Jisung.

He laughs, and this time it reaches his eyes, “Sure.”

He grabs Jungeun’s hand firmly, getting rid of her stiffness, “We can go for that.”

She imitates his smile, and finally for the first time in months it doesn’t hide any type of guilt.

*

“Well I’m glad you were able to solve things without getting a restraining order!” Jiwoo chirps as she drags Jungeun through the doors of some cute little café at the end of a quiet street.

It is their fifth one that afternoon; somehow Jiwoo had convinced Jungeun into helping her find the perfect spot for a first date.

Jiwoo had been crushing on a girl from her photography class for almost over a year now, Jungeun thought it was a ridiculously long time and would never miss an opportunity to clown her about it. It is only now, after having become somewhat closer with her secret crush, that Jiwoo had finally gathered the courage to ask the girl out and had screamed for an entire week about getting a yes as a response.

Initially Jungeun thought she’d just help her plan a cute idea or something fun to do with the girl, but this is Jiwoo she’s talking about so of course she has to take things to another level.

If the place was cute enough to pass Jiwoo’s standards then they would check out the menu, and if anything sounded interesting, they’d try the cheapest thing in it just to rate the taste. It would get particularly awkward when they’d decide that the place wasn’t good enough as soon as they walked in, cause then they’d have to immediately exit the restaurant makings as little eye contact as possible with the employees, who had already acknowledged them and were ready to lead them to a table.

So far nothing had gotten a perfect score, so they were still in the hunt.

Every time Jungeun complained about being bored or tired Jiwoo would hiss her quiet, “We must find the perfect place for perfect girl Heejin, do you hear me? I will not settle for less.”

This Heejin girl better treat Jiwoo right after all the suffering that their first date has cost Jungeun.

The café they just entered gets Jiwoo-approved and so does the menu, so they end up sitting on a table.

“Listen,” Jungeun says as she flops onto a chair, tired from all the walking around, “The restraining order was a totally realistic option so shut up. But yeah, surprisingly I’m very happy with the way things turned out.”

“Surprisingly? Really…?”

“Well, yeah. I’m really glad that the option of continuing as friends is there.”

“Just friends?”

Jungeun nods, “I’d prefer that, yeah. Crazy, right?”

Jiwoo scoffs, she can’t tell if the other girl is being serious or not, “Sure, suuuper crazy. No one saw that one coming, Jungie!”

“Okay, what are you talking about?” Jungeun crosses her arms, as she looks at Jiwoo through squinted eyes.

“Are you really that oblivious or are you just pretending?”

“Ugh,” Jungeun’s slowly becoming more and more impatient, “Would you explain yourself already?!”

“Do I really have to explain your own feelings to you?”

Ah, so that’s what this is about; only now Jungeun realizes where this might be going.

She takes a deep breath, “Honestly, that would be very useful, cause my mind is a mess right now.”

Jiwoo pauses for a moment and just stares at her.

“You like Sooyoung,” she then replies matter-of-factly, “It’s crystal clear. How is that confusing?”

Jungeun stiffens after hearing those words out loud for the first time; she doesn’t hate the sound of it.

She likes Sooyoung.

It’s also the first time she’s fully admitted it to herself, it was always at the back of her mind, she’s sensed the feeling become stronger and bigger with each moment spent with Sooyoung, but she never dared to put it into words, to acknowledge it; that would mean to deal with it and probably act on it…and that’s scary.

At least that’s what used to think. Crushing on Sooyoung felt like a distant, scary thought. Something she would never be prepared to deal with, but right now, as she hears Jiwoo say it, she can’t help the smile that creeps into her face, and the warm feeling that blossoms somewhere deep inside her.

She likes Sooyoung. She really, really does.

Jungeun hums, “Well yes. I do, I like her but-”

She stops for a second, she really can’t think of anything to say.

“But what?” She hears Jiwoo.

Jungeun doesn’t respond. There’s no but’s anymore.

*

Jungeun sits in the living room of the Ha family as she waits for Sooyoung to tidy things up in her room.

“I’m not letting you see my room like that, it’s embarrassing,” Sooyoung had said; Jungeun hadn’t really thought of it as a big deal and insisted that they were close enough to show each other their messy rooms, ‘their natural habitats’ as she had called them, but Sooyoung’s words had been definitive.

For the most part Jungeun just waits silently, not really thinking about anything. Not even about the girl that she currently waits for or the feelings that she has for her, she’s done enough thinking about that for the last few days.

After her chat with Jiwoo suddenly everything about her dynamics with Sooyoung made sense on Jungeun’s head, and she spent entire days after that hyper-fixating on her recently discovered yet long existent crush on the girl…She had a lovely time thinking about it, she really did.

The quietness lasts until a familiar trio sneak up on her to disrupt her peace, and almost make her scream in surprise.

They all giggle at Jungeun’s jitteriness.

Yerim wears a smooth look on her face, and once she notices Jungeun staring directly at her, she wiggles her eyebrows suggestively.

“So you’re here again,” Yerim speaks, “I see my advice worked, huh?”

Jungeun sits up straighter, what is she talking about now?

“Our job here is done,” Chaewon says not discreetly at all, high-fiving Yeojin, who like the other girls looks like she knows too much.

Jungeun snorts, “You did nothing, Chae. Wait- What advice? What job?”

“So, what are you gonna do now?” Yerim completely ignores Jungeun’s words.

“About what?!”

Yeojin makes an ‘ugh’ sound.

Yerim rolls her eyes as if that should be obvious by now, “You and Sooyoung! Are u gonna finally make your move?”

Jungeun can feel her face burning up almost immediately, “T-There is no move to make.”

How is it that everyone around her seems to be aware of her own feelings long before her? Their hers!

She tries to sound firm, but the determined looks on the three kids don’t falter, perhaps the stuttering wasn’t the best weapon against them.

“Good. She’s funny too,” Chaewon says, “Perfect for our Sooyoungie!”

If Jungeun wasn’t currently struggling with three cryptid kids trying to expose her feelings for their older sister, she would have smiled at the thought of the older girl getting called ‘Sooyoungie’, it just sounds so cute.

Before any of the kids can speak again, Sooyoung comes back from her room and Jungeun has never been more thankful to see her face.

“Do I wanna know why Jungeun looks terrified?” She asks.

“Oh, you definitely wanna know!” Yeojin says with a laugh.

Sooyoung arches a single eyebrow and looks at Jungeun for an explanation.

Everything in Jungeun screams danger and her body acts on its own when it decides to run towards Sooyoung and practically drag her by the hand towards her room, “Eh, too much chatting, let’s just go.”

Sooyoung squints her eyes, not understanding anything about the scene unfolding around her; but she lets it slide, only cause Jungeun’s hand is soft and warm and nice to hold and her cheeks look super cute flushed in that shade of pink.

*

Hiding her burning face behind Sooyoung’s pillows seems to not be that useful with helping Jungeun return back to her original color, mainly because it only makes her start focusing too much on how comfortable she is around Sooyoung to the point that she can just launch herself into the other girl’s bed; also, Sooyoung won’t stop eyeing her and being particularly observant which makes Jungeun unable to remain cool and composed.

“What?” Jungeun asks when she can’t take another second of Sooyoung’s eyes on her without feeling like she’s about to physically explode.

Sooyoung smiles, that smile that seems to appear only for Jungeun, and shakes her head dismissively, “Nothing. You just look so…relaxed for once. It's nice to stare at.”

“Ah,” Jungeun says in the most casual way possible, “Yeah, finally talking with Jisung was very freeing.”

“I’m glad.”

Sooyoung moves closer to the bed, now sitting on the edge of it while Jungeun has her back against the headboard.

“So,” Sooyoung speaks again, “Are you guys gonna get together eventually or what?”

Jungeun scrunches her face, “Honestly, it’s not something that I’m thinking about right now.”

Sooyoung looks surprised, “It’s not? I mean he was all you’ve been thinking about all this time.”

“Hey, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking during this time, okay? Not just him.”

“A lot of thinking like what?”

“Stuff,” Jungeun hisses.

Sooyoung laughs, “Am I involved in that stuff, cause otherwise I don’t care.”

Her tone is playful, and she wears a smirk on her face.

Jungeun returns the smirk and rolls her eyes at the traces of the old, annoying and self-absorbed Sooyoung that tends to occasionally pop out every now and then.

She now realizes there’s not really an “old” and “new” Sooyoung, just different sides of the girl that not everyone gets to see, and she now happens to be lucky enough to know more than the playful and (very) annoying one.

It almost feels like a privilege, but Jungeun would never admit that to Sooyoung. Finding the teasing cute, and it making her feel special is a thought for Jungeun and Jungeun only.

“Of course you are,” Jungeun finally replies.

Sooyoung looks taken aback by the answer, but she quickly recovers.

“Hm, I like that,” She nods, “You’re in my thoughts too.”

“I am?” It almost sounds like a squeak, but Jungeun doesn’t care.

“And they’re nice thoughts now,” She whispers it as if it was a secret, which causes both girls to laugh.

Sooyoung moves closer to Jungeun, “I’ve come to really care about you, you know?”

Jungeun feels her face flushing again, this time it even reaches her ears and the pillow previously used to save her from this embarrassment now lays long forgotten on her lap.

This time she doesn’t hate it though, it feels like a rush. A rush that only Sooyoung can give her.

Jungeun opens but doesn’t say anything, she just nods mutely; her eyes not leaving Sooyoung’s for a second.

“Like, a lot,” Sooyoung continues speaking, and Jungeun is so glad cause her voice is really nice, and she could listen to it for hours, “Too much.”

“How much is too much?” Jungeun finally breaks her silence with not much thinking.

“I could show you.”

Suddenly everything is happening really fast and next thing she knows is Sooyoung is sitting next to her with her face closer than ever before and with apparent plans to get even closer and so instinctively Jungeun closes her eyes and waits. She waits for a demonstration of how much she’s cared for…But nothing comes.

One too many seconds pass, and she feels nothing which is impossible because Sooyoung’s face wasn’t that far away; it shouldn’t be taking this long.

She opens her eyes and it takes her vision a second to get adjusted back to the light cause of how forcefully she was keeping them shut.

Through a dark spot in her eyes she can see Sooyoung softly smiling at her.

She’s still really close, but not enough for their mouths to be touching…Just their noses if she angles her face right.

“You’re cute,” Sooyoung says, “So, so, so cute.”

Jungeun’s eyes widen because those were not one, but three so’s and that was her name and now her heart is beating really really fast, and this time Sooyoung doesn’t give her time to brace herself or close her eyes in advance. This time she just goes for it and Jungeun’s heart feels like it might explode, and she probably needs to get her blood pressure taken cause oh wow.

Their lips are touching and Jungeun has no idea what to do with her hands which leaves her arms just awkwardly lingering on her side, she starts to run out of breath but Sooyoung’s lips are so incredibly soft and who needs air anyway.

The soft tickle of lips and cheeks brushing against each other makes Jungeun feel funny and steals a laugh from her. Her body, unlike her mind, knows what to do and almost by nature her arms finally do something as she covers Sooyoung’s cheeks with her hands while their lip parts.

“You’re so annoying,” Sooyoung speaks sweetly, traces of Jungeun still in , “Why are you laughing.”

That only reinforces Jungeun’s laughter, causing Sooyoung to prod her in the shoulder.

“Ugh,” Sooyoung says, “You’re lucky I like you.”

Jungeun can literally feel a wave of electricity through her body when she hears those words.

“How much?” She asks, face looking smug, knowing what kinda response she’s about to prompt in Sooyoung.

Their lips meet again, and it is even better than the first time. It’s like with each kiss Jungeun can understand the reason behind all those clichés of fireworks and butterflies and the warm feeling that the sparks lighting everything inside of her bring.

As they part once again, Sooyoung catches her breath for a moment before speaking.

“That, and more.”

Jungeun has never seen eyes look as warm as Sooyoung’s currently do. The type of warmth that no matter how close you get to, it never burns. The type that you can never get enough of no matter how much you have; and she wants it all.

That’s how Jungeun knows that she doesn’t want it to be only Sooyoung’s. She wants it to be theirs.

She wants there to be a them.

Her own stare reflects Sooyoung’s, and as she holds onto those warm, soft and secure eyes she’s finally sure that she’s done things right for once, that she has one great and perfect thing all to herself and she can say it proudly.

Sooyoung is her perfect thing.

Sooyoung is hers.

A/N:

again, thank you so much to everyone that read this all the way through! i hope everyone enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it

ah also, since it is already december, happy holidays to everyone, and yeah till next time (hopefully) goodbye lipves nation! ~ 

twt: @vousmevoyves