Jinyoung shot upright clutching at his chest.

 

He felt the layer of sweat blanketing his body and heard his breaths coming out fast and haggard.

 

He blinked a few times so his eyes adjusted to the darkness able to make out the glare from the tv and the yellow glow from the bathroom out in the hallway. On his left side Jaebum snored loud as ever, completely oblivious to the waking world and the air conditioner was letting out a low hum that would’ve lulled Jinyoung back to sleep if wasn’t for the flash of white light that temporarily illuminated the rest of the room.

 

For a second, Jinyoung thought he saw a tall ghostly figure standing at the foot of the bed, long black hair hanging like a curtain in their eyes.

 

He blinked once more and there was just the dresser, one of the drawers still crooked from when Jaebum rooted through it in search of something to sleep in.

 

At the same time he heard the door open downstairs he heard the rain crashing into the window with such a force he wondered how he’d slept through so much of the storm already. He dropped his feet down to the floor thankful for the carpet that masked the sound of him tip toeing through the hallway to find Youngjae’s door open just enough for him to get a peak at the sleeping figure on the bed.

 

Youngjae had one pillow under his head and another held tight to his chest, there was a good amount of slobber running down the green case and Jinyoung sighed knowing it would be in need of a wash tomorrow on top of everything else he had to get ready. There were still toys and clothes laying out on the floor that Jinyoung had been trying to get him to clean up for the longest time, but between all the madness of moving out and moving in Jinyoung thought he’d let it slide a little longer as he backed out into the hall.

 

Next, he went to Bambam’s room where Yugyeom was absently patting around the bed for a body that wasn’t there. Jinyoung watched him a while to make sure he wouldn’t wake. But as the lightning struck and brightened the room showing off the picture frame Bambam kept on the window sill empty, Jinyoung thought he’d stalled long enough.

 

Downstairs the living room was just as they’d left it the night before, toys all over the couch, old DVD’s spread out over the coffee table. Shoes and backpacks thrown hastily in the closet. It smelled faintly of the kimchi stew Jaebum made for dinner the night before, the seven of them ate happily while watching a baking program that Jackson swore was ‘the best show since the history of everything’ and they all had to admit there was something about watching someone cry over curdled cake that was absolutely riveting.

 

Jinyoung yelped when he stepped on a lone race car on his way to the front door.

 

He turned the knob slowly jolting when a particularly loud clap of thunder sounded from what felt like right in his front yard. He stepped out onto the porch feeling the damp wood beneath his bare feet and the electric air making his fingers tingle.

 

On one side there were evergreens he had been trying to get rid of since he moved in, these big potted plants that died a long time ago, good for nothing other than collecting dust. And on the other there was a bench that held a quaking seven year old.

 

Jinyoung wasted no time scooping Bambam up and held the boy in his lap while the rain beat the roof of the porch and the storm continued to pass overhead. Bambam stuttered something too jumbled for him to make out, clinging to him for dear life.

 

Jinyoung didn’t say a word for a long time.

 

The only sound was rain, thunder and the occasional trash can that rolled down the street with the wind. If it were any of the other kids a few pats to the back and whispered reassurances would have been enough. Tell them it was just a storm and when it was gone there’d be rainbows, warm air and puddles to play in.

 

But it wasn’t any of the other kids,

 

It was Bambam.

 

Laid protectively against Jinyoung’s chest, even his long legs were tucked up against himself.  

 

He gazed down at the picture in his hands of a woman that looked much like him, same full lips and big eyes she smiled tiredly at the bundle in her arms and Jinyoung leaned in to rest his arm around her shoulder sharing an equally exhausted yet proud smile.

 

“Dad.” Bambam cried, his fingers bunched in Jinyoung’s shirt.

 

Jinyoung rubbed circles into his side, “Shh it's okay.” He rocked back and forth just enough so that the chair wouldn’t hit the wall. “It’s okay.”

 

“No, you’re gonna leave. You can’t leave, you have to stay.”

 

“I’m right here Bam, you’re okay just go to sleep for me.”

 

He shook his head, drawing impossibly closer. “You have to stay.”

 

“I will. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

 

“No you won’t, you’ll leave. Please don’t leave me.”

 

His voice was so small, like he wasn’t trying to be the big kid he thought he had to be and the seven year old hidden underneath all that bravado was finally pushing their way out. He couldn’t seem to stop shaking, his muscles in a permanent contracted state.

 

Jinyoung did his best to calm him down but he knew when Bambam got like that there was only so much he could do other than let the kid ride it out.

 

“I’ll miss you if you leave, and Jackson will miss you and-and…and you have to stay here. Stay with me.”

 

“I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

 

The rain kept falling but it lost most of its power and with it went the loud booms of thunder. Jinyoung hummed a song he remembered hearing so long ago he forgot most of the lyrics, breathing shallowly into Bambam’s hair.

 

When I’m getting used to this meaningless day,

 

Just when I’m about to get tired,

 

I close my eyes and think of you,

 

I can feel my heart beating louder.

 

Bambam sniffed but for the most part his tears had dried up and all that was left where hiccups and whimpers. “You won’t leave me right?”

 

Jinyoung shook his head. “I’m right here sweetheart.”

 

The name always seemed to ease his nerves just a bit more and it was no different then as finally Bambam’s narrow shoulders relaxed against Jinyoung and his grip on the photo loosened so it was just barely between his thumb and forefinger.

 

The sun wouldn’t be up for a few hours. Jinyoung could still slide back into to bed and get some shut eye before it was time to start the day, he had a rehearsal scheduled and yet another fitting for his tux, not to mention the five little people that depended on him for just about everything. But the rain had died down to a drizzle and the night looked hazy through the after-storm mist.

 

“I’m right here.”

 

---

 

When morning finally came Jinyoung found himself sleeping on the couch with two kids instead of one since Jackson had somehow squeezed his way in, half his body dangling off the edge.

 

There was just barely enough light streaming in through the windows for Jinyoung to make out Jaebum’s hazy figure at the stove and Yugyeom laid out over the table with his head in his arms.

 

He sat up slowly with Bambam still curled up on his chest, swinging one leg over Jackson then the other so he was standing awkwardly in a ‘u’ shape before straightening then placed Bambam in the spot he formerly occupied, Jackson scooting closer until the pair were right beside each other and Jinyoung struggled not to run for his camera, it had been so long since he last saw the two of them sleeping so peacefully together.

 

Instead he gave them each a kiss on the forehead, Jackson tiredly batting at the air. Then went to check on Jaebum’s progress.

 

“You’re up early.” He said stopping to place a hand on Yugyeom’s sweaty forehead. It was a bit warmer than usual and the helpless whimper the boy let out was enough to have Jinyoung picking him up to rest on his shoulder.

 

“I thought I’d do breakfast today.” He scooped a pan full of eggs onto a plate with ham slices already on one side, “Toast?”

 

“You got it.” Jinyoung snatched up the loaf of bread one handed from the top of the refrigerator, throwing a few stale slices in the trash because for some reason no matter how many times he tied the bag, it always ended up getting left open to dry.

 

“You mind staying home with Yugyeom today? I think he’s coming down with something.” Jaebum asked. Though why, Jinyoung didn’t know. He couldn’t fathom going to work while Yugyeom struggled through a cold.

 

He nodded, wordlessly passing Yugyeom over when the six-year-old reached out for his dad and took over Jaebum’s former task while Jaebum went to buttering toast, giving Yugyeom a dry piece to nibble on.

 

“Don’t forget we’re going out with the Kims tomorrow night.”

 

Jaebum dropped a slice on each of the plates he had spread out on the counter, “I thought it was Jeonghan and Seungcheol?”

 

“Maybe both?”

 

They shared a shrug. They were still adjusting to having more married friends, neither one of them being too keen on making any new ones. But Jeonghan was nice enough when he wasn’t pregnant and moody and Jinyoung still couldn’t decide what to make of Seungcheol while he’d been friends with Jin since high school and Namjoon by default since he became friends with Jaebum.

 

Jin, being the most social of the six of them had been trying to get them all together for the longest but with so many kids between them there was barely a moment to breathe, let alone put in all the work to find a babysitter, pick a place everyone would like, Jinyoung’s ever present jealousy when Jaebum was out of his line of sight for more than five minutes.

 

It was all enough to give Jinyoung a headache and he sighed going to fill each plate with a portion fitting the kid he planned on giving it to.

 

Slowly, drawn in by the same scent that awoke Jinyoung the kids walked in still zombified, taking a plate  with a mumbled good morning or in Youngjae’s case a recollection of his dream about flying race cars.

 

They ate quickly their sounds of contentment was enough to have Jaebum beaming despite no one uttering a single word of thanks. After the speedy breakfast there was the daily fight for the bathrooms and Youngjae fell asleep in the tub while Yugyeom transferred from shoulder to shoulder, neither Jaebum nor Jinyoung willing to put him down out of fear that his fever would increase.

 

 Jinyoung had him balanced on his hip while he waved Jackson and Mark off, then Jaebum and the younger boys wishing them all a good day. He even gave Jaebum a smack on the when he for acting so much like a housewife.

 

“I’ll bring back some medicine on my break, he probably just needs cuddle therapy but I think a little Nyquil won’t hurt.”

 

“See you then director.” He gave an overly official salute causing Jaebum to crack a smile and whisper something that sent a shiver down his spine. “There are kids around.”

 

“You’re no fun.” Jaebum rolled his eyes turning to follow after Bambam and Youngjae racing each other to the car.

 

Jinyoung grabbed ahold of his shirt collar pulling him forward so their lips were just barely touching “Oh yeah?”

 

“Yep.” He breathed out a laugh, that turned Jinyoung into putty and if it weren’t for the boy in his arms he thought he might melt, “No fun at all.”

 

“Children.” He said more to himself than to Jaebum leaning forward for a peck before pulling away. “Don’t do anything stupid.”

 

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He called over his shoulder.

 

“Take care of my babies.”

 

“Back at you.”

 

He looked down at Yugyeom half asleep on his shoulder, “I think we better go get started on those cuddles.” He rubbed circles into his back using a foot to swing the door shut and his free hand to lock it.

 

>>>

 

It had been two days since Mark last talked to Jackson.

 

Two days since he said more than a ‘pass the salt please’ at the dinner table or ‘I’ll sleep on the floor’ at bedtime.

 

Two days of sitting alone on the bus chewing his lip to pieces, listening to Jackson and Hoseok talk about how much fun they had playing video games after school.

 

Hiding his B- math project in his backpack because more than anything he wanted to show it off and say how thankful he was for Jackson dragging him to tutoring all year. Going to taekwondo lessons by himself and teasing Bambam with no one by his side to laugh.

 

Two.

 

Whole.

 

Days.

 

Mark rolled a flattened basketball between his hands sitting on the sidelines while the rest of the gym was full of people screaming and laughing, playing tag or running up and down the court while the coaches graded tests in the bleachers.

 

They were all usually separated by grade level. But with summer break being so close everyone was packed into the gym, given a cart full of sports equipment and told to go nuts. Most times when that happened, on Fridays when the teachers were too tired to care. Mark would be excited because for once he would have his friends around to hang out with instead of sitting and waiting for the whistle to blow.

 

And by friends he meant Jackson and his friends because Mark was incapable of talking to people without his family present. Jaebum said he’d grow out of it eventually but he said a lot of things just so Mark wouldn’t worry and sometimes it was hard to tell how much of it was true.

 

Jackson was over by the basketball hoop playing a one on one game with Hoseok while Yoongi sat against the wall nodding off and Amber cheered next to him, though for whom she couldn’t seem to figure out.

 

Mark looked down at his own pathetic ball still leaking air, he was about to put the thing out of its misery when Hoseok jogged over, all smiles.

 

“You want to play? We need a fourth.”

 

Mark looked over his shoulder to see that Yoongi had joined the game, running circles around Jackson easily leaving the younger spinning. “I think Yoongi’s good enough to be a team by himself.”

 

Hoseok let out a laugh grabbing Mark’s hand and pulling him to his feet, “But I’m so bad it won’t matter how good he is.”

 

Mark decided not to put up much of a struggle. Hoseok looked friendly on the outside but Mark had seen his angrier side when he lost a round on Mario Kart and he’d do anything not to be attacked with a peach ever again his life.

 

Amber dropped her voice low, cupping her hands around . “Ladies and gentlemen we have the ultimate battle of family vs family, brother vs. brother-“

 

“He’s not my brother.” Mark mumbled.

 

Jackson threw an arm around his shoulder, “It’s just a joke.”

 

“It’s not funny.” Mark shook him off then went to grab the ball from Yoongi giving it a few bounces.

 

Hoseok looked between the two of them curiously but didn’t speak on it. “Okay first team to five points wins.”

 

“Wins what?” Yoongi asked, his voice still hoarse from his recent surgery.

 

Mark heard Jackson and Hoseok talking about it on the bus. Hoseok said Jin was practically begging Yoongi to stay in bed for a few more days but Yoongi being stubborn went ahead anyway and by the pained expression on his face Mark thought he might’ve been regretting that decision.

 

Hoseok mulled over the question coming up with a shrug, “Bragging rights?”

 

“That’s boring, what about I get your Super Mario game?” Jackson offered.

 

Hoseok staggered back, hand to his heart, “Do you want my dad to kill me? He loves Mario more than he loves all his kids…combined.”

 

Yoongi nodded solemnly.

 

“Oh I know.” Amber hopped up, “Whoever wins gets a kiss from me.”

 

At the same time all four of their faces soured, “I don’t want to kiss you.” Jackson said.

 

“Yeah me neither.” Hoseok agreed while Yoongi nodded along.

 

Mark shrug non committedly because truth be told he didn’t have much experience in the kissing department and the thought of doing it with anyone other than his family made him queasy.

 

Amber rolled her eyes going back to sit against the wall. “Whatever.”

 

“How about Mark will make his famous ramen if you win and if we win…you get your ears pierced.” Jackson pointed to Hoseok holding back a laugh when Hoseok’s eyes nearly popped out of his skull.

 

“For a basketball game? No. Not today. Sorry not sorry.”

 

Yoongi rolled his eyes, “Then I’ll get my ears pierced again, can we just play?”

 

“Jin barely let you get your ears pierced the first time now you want more?”

 

“I’ll just ask Joon it’ll be fine, let’s go.” He massaged his throat. Speaking still a bit harsh on his recovering body.

 

Even with Yoongi not at his best and Hoseok’s inability to tell left from right, they’d probably still win since Mark knew next to nothing about basketball other than the ball had to make it into the hoop.

 

The game started simply, Amber still cheered for both teams Yoongi still managed to block every shot Jackson tried to make, Hoseok tripped over his own shoes laces and Mark just tried not to lose the ball. It was toward the end of the game, when the other team had four points already and Yoongi was honestly just toying with them. Mark was sweaty and out of breath and he just wanted to be done.

 

That was exactly where things started to go wrong.

 

Jackson yelled at him to shoot while he had Yoongi blocked but Hoseok swooped in just in time to stop it, so Jackson got angry about how Mark was too slow and Mark got angry because Jackson was yelling at him and they both knew how much Mark hated yelling. Then Amber said it was just a game and they didn’t have to be so serious and Mark told her to shut-up because no one was talking to her and Jackson called Mark a jerk and Mark called Jackson stupid.

 

They were in each other’s faces at that point, Hoseok trying desperately to separate them, “Just chill guys.”

 

“I’m stupid? You couldn’t even pass math without my help.”

 

“At least I don’t have to take medicine every morning because I’m too dumb to concentrate.”

 

Jackson staggered backward his brows drawing together.

 

Mark bit his tongue not to immediately say he was sorry because it really wasn’t Jackson’s fault that he had such a hard time concentrating but it also wasn’t Mark’s fault that he at math.

 

“Take it back.” He yelled, surging forward.

 

Mark shook his head.

 

“I said take it back.” his palms shot forward and Mark stumbled before pushing back with a little more intensity.

 

“Guys-“ Hoseok began.

 

“Why are you so mean all of a sudden? I didn’t do anything wrong to you.” Another shove.

 

“Because I hate you and your stupid dad.”

 

“My dad never did anything to you either, I don’t get it.”

 

“He will.” And then Mark forgets he’s supposed to be sorry, he forgets that it’s Jackson he’s up against.

 

Jackson that that’s his friend.

 

Jackson that makes him laugh and eats all his rice.

 

Jackson that doesn’t fight back.

 

They ended up on the floor Mark throwing most of the punches while Jackson tried to push him off at the same time he asked what in the world was his problem. At some point Mark started crying, and while his fists never carried much strength in the first place they weakened to the point where there wasn’t any force behind them at all, along the way he stopped hitting altogether just sat back on his ankles and tried to breathe through the tears.

 

Because Jinyoung was nice now but he wouldn’t be nice forever. He’d end up just like everyone else and it wasn’t fair.

 

It wasn’t fair at all.

 

 >>>

                                                                     

“Since this is both of their first offenses I don’t feel suspension is necessary and certainly because of the nature of their relationship. I fought with my younger brother quite a bit in my day. But with all that being said I can’t let this go unpunished,” Principal Shin leaned back in his chair with a long sigh, drumming his knuckles against the desk in thought.

 

Jackson looked over to Jinyoung holding a tired Yugyeom in his lap. His jaw was wound tight and eyes trained forward while on the other side of him Mark was still red faced and sniffling.

 

“I think just cleaning up the gymnasium should do. This won’t be going on the record because it’s the end of the year, we’re already working ourselves silly trying to get things in order for next year, this way my office staff has a little less work and you guys will have an easier time applying to high schools everyone’s happy.” He clapped once, nodding as if he’d just solved world hunger.

 

“I think that’s more than generous.” Jinyoung said in a pinched voice sparing Jackson a glare.

 

“My parents got remarried when I was about four or five and I was the youngest you see, so when they got a new baby I was so jealous but you learn to love each other.” He reached over to give Mark’s shoulder a pat, “It gets better. Alright big brother?”

 

When they got out to the car Jackson expected a full on lecture but Jinyoung simply buckled up Yugyeom laying his head protectively in Mark’s lap and drove in complete silence.

 

He couldn’t tell if it was because he was angry or just tired but either way Jackson felt his skin crawl with worry. Mark looked like he was still struggling not to burst out in tears which left Jackson confused since he hadn’t landed a single punch on him. Jackson was the one stuck with a bruise on his cheek and a headache from getting knocked to the floor.

 

The weirdest part of it all was Jackson didn’t even know where any of it came from.

 

One day Mark was fine then the next he was acting so different it gave Jackson whiplash. He knew Mark had a temper and he got rough more than a few times when something didn’t go his way but not with Jackson.

 

He punched a wall or threw a controller. Said something mean or slapped you a little too hard on the chest but he’d never gone off and hit him.

 

Jackson had forgiven him pretty much the moment he walked away after the incident days before but then Mark acted so angry afterward, keeping his words short and going to bed early. He thought he’d give him space but it seemed like no matter what Mark was just waiting to say all those hurtful things and then cry like he was the one that had someone say I hate you to them.

 

The more he thought about it the angrier he got and Jackson hand to curl his fingers into his palms to release some of the frustration building up.

 

They were told to wait on the couch while Jinyoung went to settle Yugyeom in bed.

 

They looked anywhere but at each other the tension so thick Jackson was almost glad to see Jinyoung coming back down the stairs.

 

Almost.

 

“Explain to me why I have to pick you two up not only for fighting but for fighting each other.” He crossed his arms standing before them like the very pissed off dad he was.

 

Jackson looked down at his hands because that was a question he’d like answered himself. He thought they’d be in for a while since Jinyoung probably wouldn’t budge until he got a satisfactory answer but to his surprise Mark spoke up first.

 

“Jackson didn’t start the fight…it was me.”

 

“I know,” he turned to Jackson with a softer expression, “I know you’d never hit anyone, but what I’m confused about is how it escalated so far in the first place.”

 

Mark quieted, his face still splotchy.

 

“I called him names.” Jackson said because he knew how sensitive Mark was about his math skills and it wasn’t right for him to make fun of them.

 

“I called you names too.”

 

“But I called you slow and a jerk and I pushed you first.”

 

“But I pushed you harder.”

 

Jackson rubbed at the lump forming on the back of his head, “You did.”

 

Jinyoung sighed disappearing into the kitchen before reappearing with a ziplock bag full of ice that he passed over to Jackson and he pressed it tenderly to the bump, feeling the coolness shoot through him.

 

He didn’t get another word out before the door was slamming open and Jaebum appeared, his jaw jutted forward in the telltale sign of anger. “What happened?”

 

Jinyoung went to close the door behind him taking the grocery bag out of his arms and giving him a kiss on the cheek, “Go easy on them.”

 

Jaebum breathed out slowly and Jackson swore he saw steam coming out of his nostrils.

 

“Please?”

 

He closed his eyes nodding and Jinyoung went for the stairs throwing them one last look as he ascended a door clicking shut shortly after.

 

Jackson was afraid of…a lot of things actually. Spiders, large mammals, spicy food.

 

But none of that held a candle to Jaebum when he was angry.

 

Like Mark, it wasn’t often for that anger to be him but that one year during thanksgiving when both families decided to spend it together instead of with their respective grandparents (which honestly should have been Jackson’s first clue things weren’t exactly kosher between Jb and his dad) but Jaebum was working on mashing potatoes and Mark just happened to be the unlucky soul playing the blind man during a game of blind man’s tag and ran straight into Jaebum causing him to drop the bowl and shards of glass ended up on the ground along with lumpy potatoes.

 

That day, after Jaebum had such a long talk with him that Mark ended up crying Jackson promised himself he’d never do anything warranting that anger ever in his life.

 

Too bad he broke it.

 

“Your brother is sick and you’ve got Jinyoung taking him all the way across town just so he can pick you two up because you don’t know how to solve your problems with words. What sense does that make?” his voice was at a normal volume but it carried an edge that made Jackson want to melt into the couch cushions.

 

“How many times have I told you, you can’t just hit things when you’re angry Mark? How many times have I said to you, use your words?”

 

“I tried.”

 

“You tried? This is the second fight you’ve picked with Jackson this week and you want to tell me you tried.”

 

Mark looked over at him, betrayal clearly written on his face and Jackson had to avert his eyes because of the guilt bubbling in his stomach, “…I did…”

 

“Go to your room.”

 

He mumbled something inaudible as he walked away dragging his backpack along behind him.

 

“As for you.”

 

Jackson gulped.

 

“I know he can be hard to deal with sometimes,” Jaebum dropped into the seat next to him and Jackson found that he wasn’t so scary anymore, “But he’s going through a lot right now and…we just have to be there for him, okay?”

 

“He said he hated me. Does he mean that?”

 

Mark was always there, unlike everyone else that left at the end of the day. Even Jinyoung who was really only a call away. Mark was right beside him.

 

He was there when they stayed up too late and ate too much of the candy they had stashed under the bed, waking up with belly aches but satisfied with their debauchery nonetheless. When it was cold outside and he moved just a little bit closer so they could share each other’s heat.

 

He was even there last night when Jackson woke up crying in the thunder storm and Mark just hugged him until he fell asleep. The memory so foggy in his then sleep clouded mind that he wouldn’t put it past himself to have imagined it all.

 

Jaebum closed his eyes, shaking his head at the same time he gave Jackson’s hair a ruffle, “Just be patient with him, he’ll come around.”

 

Would he?

>>>

 

Jinyoung hadn’t realized how late it had gotten until Bambam was climbing into bed next to him, already washed up and dressed in his pajamas. Yugyeom still lay to his right though he was very much awake, reading one of the books they had began collecting from boxes of cheerios. His eyes were still drooping a bit too much for Jinyoung to consider him cured but they were more open then, than they had been all day and Jinyoung had to count it as a positive.

 

“How you feeling Brownie?”

 

Yugyeom perked up at the nickname staring up at Jinyoung like it was his first time really seeing him that day, “My tummy hurts.”

 

Jinyoung rubbed circles into his stomach giving him a small kiss to the affected area and hoping it would do the trick. He peaked over his shoulder at Bambam gazing down at his framed picture, his mouth curved downward. He’d chosen a simple pair of gray sweatpants and a Flintstones themed t-shirt to sleep in though the pants rode a little high around the ankles thanks to his legs growing faster than the rest of him.

 

“How was school today?” he turned to face Bambam fully. His hair was still damp from the bath, flushed cheeks and minty breath. Jinyoung didn’t know which he wanted to be more, proud that Bambam was able to get ready for bed all by himself or shocked with just how fast he was growing up.

 

“I learned about fractions and whole numbers and decimals,” he stumbled over the word, mouth still getting used to the feel of the letters on his tongue. “I can’t use them yet. I have to wait until second grade but I really want to learn.”

 

“We can work on it over the summer, how does that sound?”

 

He nodded, his frown finally melting away. “Is Gyeomie okay?”

 

“Hm, how about we check on him.” Jinyoung turned to lay flat on his back so Bambam could crawl over. “His tummy still hurts.”

 

He stared over at Yugyeom for a while before leaning over to kiss the same spot Jinyoung had minutes before. “Now you’ll get better really quick. Right?” he looked over to Jinyoung with such a curious expression it would have been criminal not to give his cheek a squeeze.

 

Yugyeom settled his book on the nightstand. His eyes were already shut when he turned over and Jinyoung’s heart broke for him, the Nyquil had done well for his headache but the poor thing couldn’t stay awake for more than a few minutes at a time.

 

Bambam shifted to lay next to him and started talking about fractions in more detail. He stated his surprise at how one sixteenth of a pizza was smaller than one eighth of a pizza and Yugyeom snorted in disbelief.

 

Jinyoung would’ve gotten comfortable and fallen asleep with them but Bambam had a habit of kicking in his sleep and while the bed could definitely accommodate the three of them he’d rather give Yugyeom as much space as possible so he wouldn’t be so cramped up and just maybe next time he woke up he’d be back to his usual self.

 

Jinyoung replaced Bambam’s photo on the window sill, gave them each their good night kiss and closed the door gently behind him.

 

In his bedroom the tv was still on, playing CNN as usual, Jaebum propped up against the headboard typing. He kept glancing between the keyboard and the little notepad he had laid on the nightstand completely oblivious to Jinyoung’s presence until he cleared his throat a little louder than necessary.

 

Jaebum refixed his glasses on his nose squinting despite the corrective eyewear to see Jinyoung clearly, “Is that my shirt?”

 

He looked down at the plain white t-shirt and sure enough the neckline hung past his collarbones, and the sleeves were a bit looser than usual, “I was tired okay.” He went to the dresser to pluck out a shirt of his own but suddenly he felt one of Jaebum’s arms snake around his waist.

 

“Don’t worry about it, it’s been a long day. Is everything okay with Yugyeom?”

 

Jinyoung hummed in response. Despite having slept most of the day, for some reason his brain still felt muddled and all he wanted to do was crawl into bed.

 

“Thanks for taking care of him.”

 

“Thanks for not yelling.”

 

Jaebum leaned forward to rest his chin on Jinyoung’s shoulder, “Sorry Mark’s being such a headache. I think I might set him up for another appointment with Namjoon.”

 

“You’re sure it’s not just hormones?”

 

“I wish I knew the answer to that.”

 

Jinyoung turned around to face him. They were almost eye level if it wasn’t for that half a centimeter Jaebum had on him that Jinyoung had almost forgotten about. He closed his eyes and leaned forward, all his weight pressing into Jaebum. “Carry me.”

 

“Now I know where Jackson gets the theatrics from.” He chuckled but obliged because that’s just what Im Jaebum did when it came to Park Jinyoung.

 

They settled on the bed chest to chest, “He’s alright isn’t he? I didn’t get a chance to talk to him about the fight.”

 

“You worry too much.”

 

“With these kids, can you blame?” He asked incredulously.

 

Jaebum laughed once again, “Not one bit.”

 

>>>

 

“Heechul I swear to god if I come back here and another one of my kids has holes in their ears-“ Jinyoung warned clinging to the doorframe despite Jaebum’s desperate attempts to pull him out before they ended up being late.

 

“Chillax, I left the piercing gun at home.” He flipped his hair casually, it had grown out to shoulder length and if his hands weren’t in it he was turning his head a little harder than necessary or smacking someone in the face with it.

 

“I want them all in bed by nine thirty, you hear me all of them.”

 

Jaebum went to peeling his fingers away from the wood, “I think he’s got it.” He successfully removed his right hand but the left was being a bit more stubborn.

 

“Yeah, yeah I got it. Help Bambam in the bath make sure I read Mark to sleep.”

 

“Youngjae. You help Youngjae in the bath and read to Yugyeom before bed. Oh my god did you read my text?”

 

“Uh no it was like a whole essay.”

 

Jackson walked in from the kitchen tucking his bag of gummy worms under one arm so he could help Jaebum. “Dad, we’ll be fine.”

 

“No, no last time you said that I had to explain to the neighbors why they had the police knocking on their front door. And Heechul if you don’t get your hands off my mom’s plates you’re dead.”

 

It took another five minutes and an angry call from Jin asking where the hell they were but eventually Jinyoung finally relaxed long enough for Jaebum to half carry him out to the car while he yelled at Heechul to make sure Mark didn’t stay up too late and to call every hour.

 

He was still screaming out the car window as they pulled off.

 

---

 

 

 

The first thing Jin did was give Jaebum a smack upside the head for letting Heechul babysit then gave Jinyoung a hug understanding more than anyone how untrustworthy Heechul could be.

 

Namjoon offered him a shrug as an apology because once Jin got angry there was no controlling him and Jaebum nodded in understanding. Jeonghan and Seungcheol smiled politely, but Jaebum could sense their underlying annoyance.

 

When the dust settled and Jin had stopped glaring daggers at him, Jaebum put in their drink orders and thanked everyone for coming.

 

“Anything to get me out of that house.” Jeonghan began, “Mingyu and Seokmin have been driving me crazy, I mean I love all of them but if I have to change another diaper I’m gonna scream. Then these two have just been kicking up a storm.” he rubbed his growing belly the flower printed dress shirt he wore pulling tight across the area.

 

Seungcheol placed a hand over top of his, “We’re not talking about the kids tonight remember?”

 

“I just need food, who ate all the bread?”

 

Jin swallowed thickly, mumbling an excuse me as he went off in search of the bathroom.

 

Namjoon hid a laugh behind his fist.

 

“So, you guys looked at the menu yet?” Jaebum offered as a change of subject. He opened his own menu flipping through it mindlessly. Over the years they’d been to Monty’s enough times that Jaebum had the menu practically lasered into his brain but he needed something to do with his hands and resting them in Jinyoung’s lap was a bit too much PDA for his liking.

 

“There’s so many spicy things.” Seungcheol crinkled his nose up in disgust.

 

Jinyoung gasped, his eyes bulging out of their sockets, “Jackson hates spicy foods too, did I tell Heechul that? Maybe I should call-“

 

Jaebum grabbed his wrist before he could pull his phone out. “Jinyoung.” He peered at him over top of his glasses. If they were alone he would’ve kissed the worry lines away but settled for rubbing his thumb across Jinyoung’s knuckles instead. “Everything is fine.”

 

“What if he forgets to check under Youngjae’s bed for monsters, he won’t be able to sleep and Jackson will stay up all night and he’ll be too tired to go tux shopping in the morning.”

 

Jaebum moved his hand from his wrist down to his fingers interlocking them in a gesture that had Jinyoung’s shoulders dropping down from his ears. “Mark will look after Youngjae and Jackson’s got enough energy for a football team, he’ll be fine Jagi.”

 

 Jaebum conjured as much reassurance as he had into the look he gave Jinyoung, restraining himself from leaning in to kiss his slightly pouted lips.

 

Jinyoung closed his eyes then opened them, giving Jaebum a short nod. “Don’t be greasy.”

 

“How’s the wedding planning going?” Seungcheol asked, his eyes flickered between Jaebum’s fingers interlocked with Jinyoung’s and his own hand, tapping impatiently on the table.

 

Jinyoung having been essentially doing the wedding planner’s job for her in the last six months was quick to respond, “We’re still running late on a few things but I’d say it’s going as well as you can expect.”

 

“I still can’t believe you didn’t have a bachelor party, that was my favorite part.”

 

Jaebum shared a look with Jinyoung, “We just thought we’d be better off without it.” He said slowly.

 

Jin returned with another bread basket that Jeonghan immediately claimed, shoving three in his mouth in one go and making noises of satisfaction as he chewed.

 

Namjoon jumped into the conversation with his own two cents, “Oh yeah Jinyoung would get way too jealous plus-“

 

“More bread honey?” Jin didn’t wait for answer in favor of a shoving a roll in Namjoon’s mouth sparing Jaebum a sympathetic look. “Speaking of bread, you guys ready to order?”

 

They all ordered varying shades of the same noodle and meat dish while Jin and Jeonghan polished off another two bread baskets, getting amused looks from their respective mates and Jaebum was free to stare at Jinyoung while he asked Jin about how he was getting along with his understudy.

 

So far the night was going well.

 

>>>

 

Jackson pulled the towel tighter around his shoulders when he felt a glob of product drip down his back. “Is it supposed to burn?” he asked, trying desperately not to run to the sink and duck his head under the faucet.

 

“Yeah, yeah that just means it’s working.” Heechul said dismissively.

 

Heechul had claimed he was only planning on dying his own hair when he disappeared into the bathroom halfway through a game of monopoly but Jackson, having lost all his properties to Bambam and his puppy dog eyes followed after him to see at least ten boxes of dye crammed into his backpack. 

 

He found a particularly nice shade of blonde that he mentioned to Heechul he wouldn’t mind having while the older rinsed out red dye. Ten minutes later Heechul had one of the decorative towels wrapped around his dripping hair and was slathering a bowl full of blue liquid throughout Jackson’s scalp.

 

He’d been at it for almost half an hour and the entire bathroom smelled exactly like the carcinogens it contained and with Heechul’s haphazard application abilities most of the product was getting on the towel instead of Jackson’s hair, leaving a nice amount of blue streaks all over the creamy white.

 

“Did your dad get any more of those pizza rolls?” Heechul asked, scooping the last bit of chemical onto Jackson’s roots.

 

“My dad doesn’t buy pizza rolls, Jaebum does.”

 

“Don’t be funny they’re both your dads, did he get pizza rolls or not?”

 

Jackson squirmed under the slight burn from his scalp and the looming reality of Heechul’s words. Even if Mark hated him, they’d still be brothers pretty soon and the only advice he’d been given was to be patient. “Yeah. Tostito’s.”

 

“Sweet. We should wash this out first.” He dialed up the faucet to warm and Jackson gratefully leaned down to let the bleach rinse out, “Keep your eyes closed and try not to breathe in too deeply.”

 

Jackson did as he was told. He couldn’t help but feel excited thinking about how cool he would look with blonde hair, Hoseok would probably brag to half to school about him, Amber would beg for his secret, even Yoongi might have given him a little nod.

 

“We’re gonna need loads of toner but I think it looks great. Heechul Kim professional hair stylist.” He ruffled Jackson hair with the towel then went to his bag to begin mixing up the toner.

 

Jackson squeezed out a bit more of the extra water before opening his eyes to check his reflection.

 

His hair was no longer the plain limp brown that he had grown up with but a nearly white blonde that reminded him of the lightning that had robbed him of a good night’s sleep. The roots were still a bit too brassy to be considered finished but Jackson had to admit,

 

He looked pretty good.

 

“Do you like or do you love?” Heechul returned with a fresh applicator brush, going straight to work lathering on the toner.

 

“I love it, it’s great, my friends are gonna be so jealous. I can’t wait ‘till they see it.” He smiled a nearly face spitting smile imagining their reactions, “I have to tell…Mark.” The name came out sour on his tongue.

 

“Doesn’t sound like you want to tell Mark.” Heechul commented.

 

“No…I guess I don’t.”

 

“Alright,” He turned Jackson to face him. Half to see the front of his hair better, half to look him in the eye, “What’s up between you brats, don’t think I didn’t notice you haven’t said anything to each other all night.”

 

“It’s not my fault,” Jackson huffed, “He’s just gotten so mean lately.”

 

“And you didn’t do anything?”

 

“Nothing. He said he hated me and he hated my…my dad. But we didn’t do anything wrong I swear.”

 

“That little jerk.” Heechul mumbled in disbelief.

 

Jackson still couldn’t believe it, how Mark so easily spat out such cruel things like they weren’t supposed to be best friends. For once, he didn’t even jokingly offer Mark the bed. Just grabbed his sleeping bag and went upstairs to clear a spot for himself on Youngjae’s floor and got cozy amongst the piles of toys.

 

He made sure he was up before Jinyoung but he swore Jaebum caught him sneaking back downstairs and he hoped the secret would stay between them.

 

“And you didn’t do anything to him?”

 

“Nope.”

 

“This reminds me of when your dad started dating again and you hated every single one of the guys he introduced you to.”

 

Jackson looked up curiously.

 

He raised his voice a bit higher, though Jackson could hear him just fine, “Yep, you thought your dad would get hurt if he kept letting so many different people in.”

 

Jackson glared up at him, “I had to make sure they were good enough.”

 

“As any good son would do. I think eventually you realized, if your dad makes a decision…sometimes he really does know what he’s doing and you just have to trust him.”

 

“What does this have to do with anything?”

 

He spared a look over his shoulder, “That’s just what this reminded me of.”

 

Jackson peered into the hallway, brightened by the tv still playing in the living room. He saw the shadows dancing on the walls and his shirt tossed on the floor to keep it from getting destroyed by the bleach, “What were you looking at?”

 

“Oh nothing, come on let’s finish this up before your hair turns purple.”

 

Jackson shrugged simply.

 

>>> 

 

Mark liked Heechul well enough, he was cool in a laid back sort of way and said things the way they were without the easy to swallow sugary coating over his words. He was willing to talk about almost anything, only topic that was off limits was why he walked with a limp on his left side that Mark barely noticed anymore.

 

But as cool as Heechul could be he was too busy with Jackson in the bathroom downstairs to bother helping the younger kids get ready for bed leaving Mark to sit on the lid of the toilet seat watching suds form out of the strawberry scented bubble bath Jinyoung had stacked on the shelf while Yugyeom and Youngjae waited patiently on the ledge for when Mark deemed the temperature safe for them to hop in.

 

Bambam was sat on the floor sorting out which clothes he planned on wearing to bed looking up every now and again to ask Mark what he thought of a certain color combination before running back to his room to pull out something he thought might work better. He claimed to be able to get himself washed up but Mark thought he’d ask Jackson to watch over him just in case.

 

He'd rather not get yet another lecture that week.

 

Mark dipped his hand into the water with a nod, “Okay it’s ready.”

 

Youngjae and Yugyeom wasted no time jumping in, sending a wave down Mark’s way that ended up soaking the front of his shirt.

 

“I like red and yellow.” Bambam held up a Transformers themed shirt and Avengers pants.

 

Mark shook his head.

 

“What goes with red?”

 

“Blue.” Yugyeom said while he scooped up a handful of bubbles to blow Youngjae’s way and they both giggled happily.

 

“Nuh-uh.”

 

“Nuh-huh.”

 

“Blue is a primary color, primary colors don’t go together.”

 

“But I thought your favorite color was blue.”

 

“That doesn’t mean it matches with everything.”

 

“I like red.” Youngjae cheered.

 

Mark grabbed bath sponges off the back of the tub. Pink for Yugyeom, red for Youngjae, there was another red one for Bambam but he’d switched over to green thinking it a more manly color.

 

Mark dropped the sponges in and they took it as a signal to begin the actual washing up process. Yugyeom started with behind his ears as Jinyoung had told him while Youngjae struggled to get a proper hold on the sponge. Mark had to just sit back and let him figure it out or he’d get frustrated and have a tantrum.

 

It was when he finally gave in and asked for help that Mark rolled his sleeves up to start scrubbing his back.

 

“Why does he always need help at bath time?” Bambam asked having settled on a yellow top and black bottoms.

 

Mark could see Youngjae’s red cheeks from over his shoulder, he used to not care so much when Bambam asked questions like that, why Youngjae was so clumsy, why he was so small even though he was older. Yugyeom having grown up with him just accepted it but Bambam’s questions only seemed to increase as did Youngjae’s embarrassment.

 

Mark wasn’t the best with words so instead of answering he sent a spray of bubbles in Bambam’s direction and the younger glared going to do the same, only somehow he ended up hitting Yugyeom instead.

 

“Hey.” Yugyeom whined, he went to throw a handful of bubbles that caught Bambam cutely on the nose and Mark didn’t even try to hold back his laughter.

 

Youngjae laughed along with him, clapping his hands in a way that got even more soap all over the place.

 

Bambam, not one to be outdone, scooped up and armload of bubbles waving his hands in any direction so even the walls were covered. “Beat that.”

 

Pretty soon instead of the tub being full of bubbles they were all over the floor, the sink, Bambam’s formerly fresh clothes, even out in the hallway. Mark’s hair ended up drenched, hanging in his eyes and dripping onto his nose.

 

He abandoned his position to get the towels that had been thankfully spared from the assault holding one open for Yugyeom to jump into then the other for Youngjae.

 

He noticed the bruises on Youngjae’s knees but decided not to comment, he probably fell playing and bringing it up would just make him feel even more embarrassed.

 

The two of them scurried off to their bedrooms to get dressed, since Jinyoung had thankfully left clothes out for them to change into while Mark added more soap for Bambam. He straightened, getting ready to leave Bambam to his privacy but surprisingly he gripped Mark’s hand shyly.

 

“Can you stay here?” he kept his eyes trained on the tile, picking at the threads of his shorts. “I don’t like it when it rains.”

 

Mark was about to tell him it was fine but sure enough as soon as he opened his mouth he heard the familiar pitter patter coming from outside and Bambam flinched, drawing ever so slightly closer.

 

“Please?”

 

“It’s just rain, nothing bad is gonna happen.”

 

“I don’t like it.”

 

“Well…do you want me to help you wash up.”

 

He shook his head quickly, “I can do it. You just stay here…and turn around.”

 

Mark did as he was told with a smile, even the all mighty Bambam had his faults.

 

>>>

 

“I’m not drunk.” Jaebum proclaimed, leaning heavily on Jinyoung’s shoulder.

 

Jin had long since passed coherence and was running up and down the street asking Namjoon to dance with him even though Namjoon himself had yet to get off the bus stop bench he was positioned on.

 

Seungcheol and Jeonghan were the only pair completely unfazed by the alcohol because as soon as the beer came out Jeonghan adamantly stated he wasn’t carrying anyone’s drunk home.

 

Jaebum swayed on his feet laughing along to a joke only he could hear while Jinyoung tried to get the keys out of his pocket. “Nyoungie, why aren’t we home I wanna see the kids.”

 

At that Namjoon let out a loud sigh, “I forgot about the kids, can you believe that? I forgot about my own damn kids.”

 

“Mine are with me everywhere I go, couldn’t forget them if I tried.” Jeonghan adjusted so he was laid on his side and Seungcheol rubbed weak circles into his back whispering about how they’d be home soon.

 

“There is no way in hell I’m letting the kids see you like this. Now will you stay still.” Jinyoung did his best to hold him steady but Jaebum had always been the stronger of the two and he easily moved to pin Jinyoung against the light post, caging him in with his body.

 

“Does this remind you of something?” he smiled devilishly.

 

Jinyoung knew the exact moment in history Jaebum was referring to, wondering how he remembered so many years later in his drunken state when he could barely remember their anniversary when he was sober. “We are not doing that again.”

 

“Jagi.” He whined, moving in closer.

 

Before things could go further however, Seungcheol was thankfully pulling him back and Jinyoung was finally able to swipe the keys from his back pocket.

 

“Namjoon, where’s Kookie?” Jin yelled suddenly, running back down the street so fast there was a burst of wind rolling in behind him. “Oh my god did we lose him again? Kookie!” He screamed into the sky, “We have to go, we have to go find him.”

 

“Uh…see you guys on Saturday.” Namjoon said as he was pulled to the parking lot by a frantic Seokjin.

 

“Good luck.” Jinyoung muttered.

 

His fingers shook with the cold night air and Seungcheol had to momentarily release Jaebum to help steady Jinyoung’s hands long enough for him to unlock the car doors. He helped get Jaebum into the passenger’s seat with minimal bruises, buckling him in while he kept blinking like maybe the alcohol was starting to wear off just a little bit.

 

“Thanks.” Jinyoung said awkwardly.

 

He never had anything against Seungcheol, he was just a lead on his husband’s play and as such spent more time with him some days than Jinyoung himself did and unlike Jin who may or may not have secretly despised Jaebum, Seungcheol only ever spoke highly of him and for some reason it never sat right with Jinyoung.

Seungcheol gave him a smile and a nod before going to Jeonghan, “Have a safe trip.”

 

Jinyoung nodded meekly then started up the car and pulled off.

 

It couldn’t have been more than five minutes later when Jaebum was laughing about something in his seat and Jinyoung tried not to pull over a chuck him into the ocean.

 

“You wanna know how much I love you?” Jaebum said, dragging out the o. “To the moon and back.”

 

“That’s not very far.” Jinyoung teased.

 

“To Saturn.”

 

“Try again.”

 

“Uranus.”

 

“Funny.”

 

“Neptune.”

 

Jinyoung spared him a pout through the mirror, “I’m beginning to think you don’t love me very much at all.”

 

Jaebum leaned over, giving him a dark look that made Jinyoung want to pull over for an entirely different reason. “Brat.”

 

Jinyoung held back his smirk driving for an even smaller amount of time before Jaebum was talking once again, though his words had devolved into gibberish about how Jinyoung’s feet would be cold when they got in bed later and he definitely wouldn’t be sober enough to get a job at the bakery. Jinyoung half listened, fearing that if he blocked Jaebum out completely his anxiety over leaving his children in the care of a man known for his unpredictability. Jinyoung could honestly say he trusted Kim Heechul with their lives, but helping raise them was a completely different story.

 

“Y’know when we first met I told my parents I was gonna marry you one day.”

 

Jinyoung, suddenly interested in Jaebum’s musings stole a glance at his slumped figure out the corner of his eyes.

 

“Remember when I was at that talent show and I sang and everyone told me I was good, you were the only one that told me honestly I .”

 

Jinyoung bit his lip to keep from laughing, Jaebum was a great singer. So much so that when he sang at the kid’s birthdays or to the radio while they drove people often wondered why he didn’t pursue a career in it. However, it wasn’t always like that.

 

“I went home and cried so hard my mom got scared I’d never stop.”

 

“Get to the part where you say good things about me.”

 

“Oh so you are listening?”

 

Jinyoung rolled his eyes.

 

“I knew they were all lying but…it still hurt to have someone be so blunt. Then I realized you were the only person in my life that told the truth, no matter how much it hurt.” he laughed breathily,”…you still are.”

 

He quieted for a while as Jinyoung turned into the driveway seeing the house thankfully darkened save for the faint glow coming from Bambam’s window thanks to Yugyeom’s nightlight.

 

He switched the car off, taking the key from the ignition.

 

“I can’t remember what I said exactly but…I was right.” Jaebum smiled, the crinkly eyed kind that made Jinyoung have to duck in and give him a kiss to the lips, he pulled away quickly since the taste of alcohol was still heavy on Jaebum’s tongue but his faith in Im Jaebum was growing like a weed, and Jinyoung was in no rush to stop it.

 

In the thirty seconds from the car to the door Jaebum had gone from reminiscing to falling asleep on Jinyoung’s shoulder and it was a struggle to hold him up while at the same time unlocking the door.

 

When they stepped inside, Jinyoung prepared himself for a couch full of children in varying stages of sleep but was met with Heechul flipping through channels with a tray full of pizza rolls in his lap. He barely acknowledged their arrival and Jinyoung did the same in regards to his change of hair color.

 

He helped Jaebum up the steps and into bed, tossing his shoes to the floor as well as removing his tie completely. He did a quick check on the younger boys and finding them all, soundly asleep and in fresh pj’s he went back downstairs.

 

“I’m not paying you.”

 

“You paying me for watching your kids, wouldn’t dream of it.” He tossed the last of the pizza rolls in his mouth then stood, shouldering his slightly less full bag, “How’d dinner go?”

 

“Fine.”

 

“I thought so, The Choi’s are good people. You should spend more time with Seungcheol, I’m sure you two would get along great.”

 

“Maybe.”

 

They stood in silence for a while before Heechul blurted out, “Okay I get it, you want me to leave.”

 

Jinyoung nodded going to open the door to emphasize his point. “Thanks, for once you didn’t destroy my house.”

 

Heechul mumbled something about the bathroom but shook his head when Jinyoung asked him to clarify, “See you next time Mr.Park.”

 

Jinyoung closed the door behind him then went through his nightly routine of locking doors and closing curtains. He went down to the basement to check on Mark and Jackson, his nose tingling with a strange sensation.

 

He pushed open the door and a wall of chemical scent hit him at the same time he noticed where there should have been a brown head of hair peaking out from underneath the blankets there was blonde.

 

And not just any blonde.

 

Bleach.

 

Bleach. Blonde. Hair. On his eleven year old son.

 

Jinyoung couldn’t help but let out an exasperated scream,

 

“Heechul!”

 

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