"alright, let's take a break." changmin sighed out, pausing the music for the fifth time that rehearsal. 

it had been nearing a good two hours and youngjae still could not figure out a part in the choreography. normally, the members would be more understanding and help him out but this had been the fifth break they were having and it was just because of him.

"youngjae, eric, come here." juyeon's voice broke him away from his thoughts. he set his water down, trotting towards his hyung.

"is something wrong? are you sick?" he questioned when youngjae was close, his eyebrows scrunched up in concern.

eric shook his head, "no, hyung. i just can't figure out-"

"then you shouldn't be messing this up still, we have spent more than enough time on your part in the choreography for you to still be making the same mistakes." he sighed, running his hand down his face, "just, try and get it together. okay?"

eric nodded, trying to push away his tears. "of course hyung, i'm sorry."

juyeon didn't respond, just walked away and took a seat on the wall beside hyunjoon. eric bit his lip, turning away from them and walking towards the music, turning it on.

he started dancing, going over the same part over and over, making the same mistake more than once before he would start the music over, ignoring the stares of the other members.

after his fourth time restarting, younghoon spoke up. "youngjae, i think you've gone over this enough."

eric glared, "no, i don't have it yet."

"you won't get it by burning yourself out eric." hyunjae's voice was stern, youngjae glanced over and noticed his face was staring at his phone, not bothering to look up at the maknae.

eric just stayed quiet, his hyungs eventually getting up and getting into position after a prolonged awkward silence. if anyone noticed the tension in the room, no one bothered to bring it up.

youngjae practically slammed the car door when he got out, not turning back when kevin yelled at him or when jacob asked him to apologize. he just walked into the dorm and straight to his room, letting the door slam closed behind him.

he sat on his bed and started crying, all of his thoughts and memories from the practice earlier resurfacing. after hyunjae had yelled at him, the rest of the rehearsal had been silent, the only noise being the scuff of their shoes against the flooring and the music, juyeon, and changmin, not offering any critique. 

eric laid down, wiping away his tears. he needed to get better, he was holding them all back. juyeon had said so himself and he would do anything to prove to his favorite--though he would never admit it--hyung. 

he walked into the living room, all of the members chatting loudly around the table, no one bothering to notice eric who had entered into the room. eric glared, pushing his tears away, as he walked out the front door, letting the heavy door close behind him with a slam.

he hadn't expected to find himself at the studio, he was just trying to get away from his hyungs. after he had left, his phone immediately started blowing up, all of the members anxious to know where their maknae had gone.

leader hyung

youngjae where are you??

favorite hyung

please come home its late

canadian #1

eric, please, where are you?

roommate

 youngjae? where are you?

eric shut his phone off, not bothering to answer any of them. he set his phone on the table and turned the music back on, getting into position as he went through the dance for the fourth time.

it was nearing three am when eric finally left the studio, his eyes heavy with sleep as he covered his mouth with his mask. he should have gone back to the dorm, his phone was still off but he knew that his hyungs were blowing it up, threatening a search party for their maknae.

he decided to walk around instead, enjoying the quiet of the night. it had been months since he had time to himself outside and it felt nice, his previous worries slowly diminishing.

it was around 4 when he found himself getting tired, sitting onto a bench and choosing to close his eyes just for a bit, enough to regain energy to walk home. he laid onto the bench and was asleep in an instant.

"hey kid. kid! wake up!" eric shot awake, rubbing his sleepy eyes and turning to face to face with a cop, his arms crossed.

youngjae yawned, "officer? what time is it?"

"it's nearly 6am kid, why are you asleep on a bench?"

eric paled at that, his stomach dropping, "6am!? i've been out for 7 hours?" 

the cop raised an eyebrow at him, "can i see some id? if you're a minor and out this late without supervision i'm afraid you'll have to come with me."

eric gulped, "i'm, uh, i'm only 17."

the cop shook his head, guiding eric up, "arms out." eric obeyed, instantly feeling handcuffs slapped onto his wrist, "let's go, you're gonna have to come with me."

being in the back of a police car with handcuffs on was probably something eric never imagined would happen, but here he was, on his way to a police station at 6:30 am.

he wished they wouldn't give him bail.

eric was sitting in a holding cell for about half an hour when he heard people rushing in, yelling and demanding to know why the hell their maknae was behind bars. 

youngjae looked up from playing with his hands to see jacob and kevin talking to the officer, sangyeon trying to calm the two down as the cop explained what had happened. 

the cops had given eric one call and him being the he is, called kevin, begging the older canadian to bail him out without anyone else knowing. kevin immediately yelled out to the others that he was currently in prison, not a holding cell. 

so eric knew how mad they must have been, and eric was equally mad at kevin for overreacting and causing his hyungs, namely jacob, to nearly curse out a holding guard. 

"gentlemen, you can take him home. there is no bail, he just isn't allowed to be out after 1 without parental supervision."

sangyeon smiled, shaking the police officer's hand and then bowing, jacob and kevin following suit. eric bowed after, his eyes not meeting the officers.

"stay out of trouble, alright kid?"

sangyeon rested his hand against his shoulder, squeezing it, "we'll make sure of it."

he really wished they didn't let him leave.

the car ride back was silent, jacob laying a hand against eric's thigh while kevin glared at him, sangyeon not bothering to glance at him. 

they arrived at the dorm, sangyeon finally speaking, "sleep, we will deal with your punishment later."

eric nodded and climbed out of the van, not facing any of his hyungs as he walked through the living room and into his room,  jumping into bed and immediately falling asleep. 

eric woke up with a throbbing headache and a silent dorm. he glanced at the clock, reading 4:00.  he yawned and sat up, rubbing his temples. 

he hadn't noticed earlier but sangyeon was laying in chanhee's bed, tapping on his phone, waiting for eric to wake up. when he did he sat up, motioning eric over.

"would you like to tell hyung what happened last night?" his voice was calm, he opened his arms and invited eric in for a tight hug.

he started tearing up again, wiping away the tears as he sat on his lap, "i just-i feel like i'm holding everyone back." he whispered, nuzzling his face into sangyeon's shirt.

sangyeon frowned, rubbing his hand down his back, "you are not! son youngjae, you are extremely talented and dedicated and we would never be the same without you." 

eric nodded, sniffling again, "do you mean it?"

sangyeon kissed his temple, "of course baby, we all love you so much."

"i love you too hyung."

sangyeon smiled softly, kissing his temple once more, "we still have some things to discuss." 

eric pouted, not looking up.

"you're grounded, for three weeks. also, since you've shown you aren't responsible enough to have a phone, i'll be taking that as well." 

eric nodded, handing his phone over, "is-is that it?"

"oh, kevin will be the one punishing you."

eric jumped off the bed, "what!? sangyeon-hyung no!"

"yah! he is the one who told me that you were in the holding cell and you had called him." he raised a brow.

eric grumbled but didn't say anything, just sitting back on the bed with a huff.

sangyeon smiled, patting his back, "i'll go get him."

eric groaned when the door opened again and kevin entered, a thin branch in his hand. kevin sat beside him, rubbing his back.

"eric, do you have any idea how worried we all were? we had been calling you for hours after you left and i get a call from you at a police station?" despite the anger in his voice, he was relatively calm. "what the hell were you thinking?"

eric shrugged, staring at his hands, "i dunno, just needed some air and ended up staying out late."

kevin shook his head, "you know that's unacceptable, you didn't tell any of us and you were alone. what would have happened if someone came up to you and tired hurting you? huh?" 

"i'm not a kid, i would have been-"

"yah! that is not the point!" kevin was getting angrier, his eyes scowling at him.

eric didn't say anything, setting his mouth in a tight line. kevin sighed, patting his lap for eric to lay over. eric didn't move, crossing his arms.

kevin glared, "i will give you to the count of three to get over my lap or so help me." he warned, eric not bothering to flinch.

"one, two." eric turned away, "three."

kevin stood up, dragging eric towards the bed, the younger letting out a yelp as kevin pushed him over his lap, tugging his pants and boxers down and letting his hand slap down harshly. 

eric whined out as kevin's hand continued to smack down on his and thighs, his leg kicking up sharply as kevin managed to hit a sensitive part on his thigh.

"hyung, please!" he whined out, his legs kicking. kevin growled, smacking each thigh harshly before letting his spare leg trap his thighs, preventing them from moving.

kevin continued to spank eric, his smacks growing harsher and eric's sobs gradually growing louder. after twenty more smacks, kevin stopped, guiding eric to a chair by his desk.

"put your hands on this, lean over." eric sniffled but obeyed, his body shaking as he leaned over the chair. kevin walked behind him, the switch he had brought in earlier resting against eric's already red . eric's breath hitched, his eyes screwing shut.

"you're getting thirty, understood?" eric nodded, not trusting his voice. kevin allowed him to just nod and let the switch smack against his , eric nearly screaming lifting himself up.

"hold still." kevin demanded, pushing him back down and letting his free hand lay against his back, the other hand smacking the switch down. 

eric whined out with each hit, kevin letting the switch fall rapidly and harshly against his and sit spots, eric stomping and yelling out with each swat.

"five more." and with that, the switch fell harder than before, eric sobbing out as the last hit fell against his bottom, kevin throwing the switch to the side and immediately guiding eric to sit on his lap, calming the maknae down. 

after fifteen minutes, eric calmed down enough, his breathing returning to normal and his eyes red from crying.

"baby, what happened really?" the pet name caused eric to blush, he buried his head into kevin's shoulder.

"dance practice last nigh'. feel like 'm not good 'nough for the team." he whispered, sniffling.

kevin frowned, hugging him tighter, "why do you think that baby?"

"i-i kep' making 'stakes an-and juyeon-hyung yelled." kevin hugged him, hushing him as he felt tears roll down his face. he wiped his cheeks, cradling his face.

"eric, he wasn't trying to be mean. in fact, as soon as we realized you were gone he instantly blamed himself and wanted to look for you." eric looked up, sniffling, "you are so talented, eric. you make us whole."

eric nodded, sniffling, and hugged kevin tighter. "thank you, 'yung."

kevin kissed his temple, "of course."

they stayed like that a while longer, kevin calming down, when the door opened. juyeon sheepishly walking in. kevin removed eric from his lap, helping him back into his underwear and slipping out of the room.

juyeon immediately picked eric up and placed him in his lap, planting kisses against his forehead and cheeks, letting one land on the corner of his mouth.

"i'm sorry baby, i shouldn't have yelled at you like that at dance practice. i know how hard you've been working, i should've helped you."

eric smiled, hugging him tightly, "it's okay hyung, i forgive you."

juyeon hugged him, his hair, "if you ever feel like this again please tell me, don't scare hyung by running away and getting arrested."

eric blushed and let out a soft laugh, "sorry hyung."

"aish, can't believe this kid! a felon in our own group!" eric laughed as juyeon tickled him, his previous worries and soreness forgotten as he felt his hyungs love.