It was pretty late when Mino dropped Jinwoo off at his place, so he didn’t call Seungyoon and instead sent him a voice message. He held so much exhilaration in his heart that he needed to share it and Seungyoon was the only one Jinwoo trusted enough to tell.

“Hey Yoonie… I know it’s late and you’re probably sleeping—at least I hope you are but—long story short I have a boyfriend now and—I want to tell you about it, so… Whenever you’re free…”

Jinwoo went to bed happy that night. There was no room for paranoia, not in that moment at least. He would worry and seek reassurance later, but now, he just wanted to rejoice.

* * *

Jinwoo received congratulations from Jiho and Dongwook the very next time he walked into their shop.

“I knew it would work out!” Dongwook had said, smiling cheekily. “Now we can finally be free of Mino’s pining rants!”

“I knew you were the one the moment you brought us cookies to work,” was Jiho’s input.

The rest of the gang was very happy too – so much so that Jinwoo felt like there was something wrong with him, being the only one who wasn’t celebrating.

He was happy, he really was. He’d just never displayed happiness so loudly. Mino didn’t seem to mind or notice. He didn’t question Jinwoo, he only messed around with his friends, responding to their teasing when he had a good comeback; if not, he just did a gross couple-y thing in their full view to shut them up.

Now that, that was something Jinwoo needed getting used to. It was cruelly ironic, how touch starved he was while at the same time feeling the need to preserve his personal bubble at all costs.

Mino and Yoon were the only two people who Jinwoo was comfortable enough to have physical contact with. However, the amount of attention he was receiving from Mino now that they were official was a little overwhelming.

Especially in public.

And he didn’t really know how to bring it up. Besides, considering what happened last time Jinwoo asked someone for a little space, he wasn’t sure he even wanted to bring anything up. He knew Mino meant nothing bad. That should be enough for things to be alright.

…Right?

Since he’d opted for silence, Jinwoo had no defence mechanism other than physical restraint, which was quite confusing to Mino. He’d somehow thought that Jinwoo would talk to him if there was something wrong. This way, having to go off of vague signs of discomfort, he didn’t really know how to act or what was going on.

It all escalated unexpectedly. They weren’t even in public, they were at Dean’s. Jinwoo had been agitated the entire day and perhaps Mino had had a drink or two so he didn’t think twice before going in for a kiss.

Needless to say, Jinwoo wasn’t up for it. It all played out silently, him pushing Mino away, not hard enough to hurt anything but his feelings. The fact that it happened in front of his friends was a cherry on top.

They didn’t talk afterwards. The others knew better than to ask. Jinwoo left on his own and Mino went home with Pyo.

It wasn’t a storm, there was no yelling or fighting; that wasn’t like them. They just didn’t talk for a few days, taking the time to think and figure out what to say once they decided to speak again.

And before long, Mino texted him asking if he could cross the street to the coffee shop so they could talk.

So there was Mino, sitting opposite of Jinwoo, with his hands intertwined on the table and leaning forward like he often did. There was Jinwoo, with his hands in his lap and nervously picking at his ripped jeans, trying to shrink like he often did.

Mino was the first to speak.

“You know you should talk to me when something’s wrong.”

Jinwoo’s first instinct was to say that he was okay, however he knew Mino wouldn’t believe it, not after what had happened. Besides, him saying that he was okay was only the short version of “I don’t want to share my troubles with anyone.”

However he also knew that this wasn’t only his troubles anymore. They’d seeped in-between him and Mino, which was why he now had to speak up.

He shifted in his chair, trying to mimic Mino’s posture. “…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you.”

Mino was quick to shake his head and disregard the apology. “That’s fine. I’m not even upset about that really—I was kinda drunk, it’s okay for you to—” he stopped himself before he could start rambling. “That was only the breaking point, wasn’t it?”

Jinwoo averted his gaze.

“Babe you gotta tell me. You know I’d never force you to tell me something you don’t want to share, but this is affecting our relationship.”

Jinwoo was honestly trying. But nothing left his mouth as he found himself tongue-tied and overwhelmed with an irrational fear. This is Mino. He’s not like the others. Yet he still couldn’t speak.

And because he couldn’t, because he saw Jinwoo struggling, Mino was forced to guess.

“You need more space? That’s okay, hyung you just gotta ask.”

It was as if Jinwoo’s train – that was more of a trainwreck – of thought had hit a wall, tumbled over and suddenly started racing in the opposite direction. Not only could he now talk, he was also able to eloquently say something he’d been trying to avoid bringing up and bury deep down in his ty college memories.

“I would ask—but the last time I asked it wasn’t pretty,” he spat out and immediately regretted it.

“The last time?” Mino tilted his head. “Have you already asked me? Because I don’t remember.”

Jinwoo felt suffocated on his own breath, caught in his throat. He tried to swallow and inhale, but he couldn’t. “Not you. My... ex.”

To his surprise, when Jinwoo briefly flicked his gaze up to check Mino’s reaction, the younger was smiling. Bitterly so, but he was smiling, which was odd for the situation.

“But I’m not your ex, am I?”

Jinwoo’s shoulders relaxed and he heaved a breath. “No… You’re really not.”

Mino shifted, now resting his forearms on the table. “So, that’s it. You need space?”

Jinwoo pouted. That wasn’t exactly how he’d word it – he definitely didn’t want Mino to stay away, not completely anyway. He reached out and started playing with Mino’s hand, keeping his gaze on that task.

“Not quite. It’s more that... I’m not good with PDA. I’m—” he sighed. “I’m scared. That’s it. I’m scared.”

Mino was quiet for a while, him also only looking at how Jinwoo played with his hand. Then he looked up. “What are you scared of, love?”

Closing his own around Mino’s, Jinwoo pressed his forehead to their joined hands. “Everything.” He shut his eyes and sighed. “I’m a bit too old to give a damn about what other people think of me and for the most part I don’t. But I’m just – not like you and your friends. I can’t be that public about love.”

In a carefully calculated move, Mino brought his free hand up to brush Jinwoo’s bangs out of his forehead.

“That’s okay, hyung. I’m used to being public, but if you’re not we can take it slow. But really, you could have just said so.” His tone was gentle, but clearly it hurt him that Jinwoo kept it all bottled until he cracked.

Jinwoo stayed still for another moment. He could just end the discussion right there, promise that they’re good now and move on. But maybe, maybe Mino deserved to know. Maybe Jinwoo felt like he should start sharing things without feeling like it was the wrong thing to do. Because clearly it was safe to do so; never had Mino reprimanded him for opening up.

He slowly sat up straight, but he didn’t let go of Mino’s hand.

“I couldn’t have just said so, because I was afraid,” he muttered. “I know it was a different person and a completely different situation but—that experience scared me and so I couldn’t ask you.”

Mino didn’t inquire as to what had happened. He stayed quiet and let Jinwoo decide if he wanted to keep talking.

The elder let out a bitter chuckle. “It’s not the asking that was the problem though. That part went smoothly. He told me we’d take it slow, but we didn’t actually. He—accidentally outed me to my family because he just had to kiss me in the wrong moment and—”

Mino couldn’t hug him the way they were sitting, but he held Jinwoo’s hand and offered a comforting silence.

“Yeah, you mentioned not talking to your family,” Mino muttered. Jinwoo was surprised he remembered, but honestly, at that point, he shouldn’t have been. He should just expect Mino to exceed expectations, low though they may have been.

“But hey,” he continued, gently squeezing Jinwoo’s hand. When he glanced up, he saw that Mino was smiling. “You do realize I’m not an , right? If you want me to stop you just have to say so and I’ll stop—without taking it personally.”

Jinwoo nodded. He took a second to breathe. Then he nodded again and caught his breath again.

It was okay.

He smiled.

It was okay.

He leaned in a bit, as his anxiety slowly but surely melted away. “You don’t have to—stop kissing me and stuff… Just do it when we’re alone.”

Mino grinned. “You got it babe.”

* * *

It was a bit better after that, because Mino was staying true to his promise and Jinwoo now knew he could set boundaries with them being respected. He wasn’t sure he was making any progress when it came to PDA though, but he had promised himself that he’d try to communicate more instead of just hoping for Mino to know what he needed. With both of them doing their part, things were better.

And so Jinwoo was very happy when he set out that day to meet up with Yoon and his special someone. It was that day, the day he would meet Seungyoon’s boyfriend.

Jinwoo was somehow so proud, and still very overwhelmed that Seungyoon would consider him close enough to introduce his boyfriend to, when he couldn’t to his family. This was an honour to Jinwoo.

Stepping into the coffee shop – the one where Seungyoon worked, though he wasn’t working at the moment – Jinwoo took a deep breath to brace himself. He brushed the snow off of his shoulders and looked around to find the pair.

He spotted them sitting in the corner at a table for three. Seungyoon immediately stood and waved, a bright smile adorning his features. A moment later he lowered his waving hand to instead clutch at his heart – he must have been very excited.

And Jinwoo was too—until the person Yoon was with turned around.

Never had Jinwoo’s smile been wiped off his face so swiftly. He stared and stared for a good minute, hoping that he was looking at a ghost.

He felt his face and cheeks burning, not only because of the change in temperature, but also because of the rising anxiety and shame.

He thought he’d never see this person again.

What a small world it was, for his new best friend to be dating his ex best friend from college.

Jinwoo didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t go over there and face Lee Seunghoon, he wasn’t ready. His brain was screaming at him to remove himself from the situation immediately and that’s exactly what he did.

He his heel and walked back out of the coffee shop.

Jinwoo thought about going home and crying for hours, but he remembered that there was a place much nearer where he could find shelter.

He quickly crossed the street to the tattoo shop and entered without knocking. He looked around, but the blonde wasn’t there.

He must have looked like a disaster because Dongwook and Jiho were staring at him worriedly. As Dongwook was busy, Jiho was the one to drop everything and walk over.

“Woah, hey. What’s wrong?”

“Where’s Mino?” Jinwoo spoke breathlessly.

Jiho took him by the shoulders in an attempt to ground him – and possibly keep him up if his legs gave out.

“He’s not in right now, he’ll be here in like—”

“Half an hour,” Dongwook filled in.

“Yeah,” Jiho confirmed.

Jinwoo didn’t say anything to that. He didn’t know what possibly to say.

“Uh...” Jiho stirred him towards the front desk, then behind it, through a door Jinwoo had never really noticed, and into one of the backrooms.

He sat Jinwoo down onto the only chair that was in there.

“Do you need anything? Um, tea, you need tea,” Jiho said, not sure what to do but his best.

“No, I’m fine—” Jinwoo muttered, still having trouble catching a breath.

“Yeah, you definitely need tea,” Jiho said. “Hyung, listen to me, you need to breathe. You’re safe here okay? Take a deep breath with me, okay?” He kneeled down in front of Jinwoo, patiently waiting for him to calm down.

Jinwoo tried to follow Jiho’s breathing and for the most part it worked. He nodded a few times to indicate that he was alright, but didn’t try to speak in fear of choking on his own breath again.

“You’re okay?” Jiho checked, getting up.

Jinwoo nodded once more.

“Okay, I’ll be right back.” He said and disappeared into the next room.

In his absence, Jinwoo tried to calm down but the outcome of his efforts ended up being the complete opposite. Instead of keeping it all down, he broke into tears that he’d been able to hold back this long.

He was thankful to Jiho for completely ignoring his mental breakdown. Jinwoo needed this, he needed to let it all out without being watched or fussed over, bothered or asked questions. He just needed to cry.

When he was more or less calm, Jiho emerged and handed him a mug. “Careful, it’s hot,” he said. He didn’t leave again, he sat on the ground in front of Jinwoo with his legs crossed at the ankles.

“Can you tell me what happened?” The younger questioned.

He didn’t seem persistent, leaving Jinwoo room to refuse to speak, but he somehow felt like he owed Jiho some sort of an explanation after barging into the shop.

“I saw someone I thought was gone from my life—” he muttered and sighed.

Jiho frowned, straightening up a bit. “It’s not—someone who can hurt you right? You’re not in danger?”

Jinwoo quickly shook his head. “No, no! It’s nothing like that! It was just… An old friend—well, an ex friend I guess. I just got upset.”

Jiho nodded understandingly. “Okay, just checking. I mean—I know it , but as long as you’re not in danger…”

“Yeah, I guess.”

They both fell silent. Jinwoo sipped his tea, burning his tongue a bit since he didn’t wait long enough. The bell above the door chimed softly and they heard Dongwook welcoming the newcomer. Jinwoo’s heart skipped a beat, for a second hoping that it was Mino. But as soon as the person spoke, Jinwoo recognized Seungyoon’s voice.

To Dongwook’s question of “can I help you?” he responded with, “Yeah, uh, I’m looking for someone—I saw him come in here, he’s Song Mino’s, uh… friend—”

Dongwook cut off his rambling with a knowing “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” There was a pause, and Jinwoo held his breath in anticipation. He had no idea what Dongwook might say. Jiho was also tense, ready to get up and intervene if needed.

Thankfully Dongwook seemed to have gotten the right idea from the entire situation. “He’s actually not here right now,” he lied in an apologetic tone.

There was a pause and the next time Seungyoon spoke, his voice was trembling, “Okay, I get it. He doesn’t wanna talk to me. Can you just—please tell him that I-I hope he’s okay and if he could call me when he’s feeling better.”

“Yeah, of course,” Dongwook said.

“Thank you,” Seungyoon muttered. The bell chimed again as he went out.

Dongwook couldn’t leave his work right away to give the message, besides, he knew that the conversation could be heard from where Jiho and Jinwoo were.

The younger sat with Jinwoo in silence for a while longer before they heard the engine of Mino’s bike outside. Soon enough they heard his cheerful greeting, and his voice fading as Dongwook started to tell him the little which he knew about what had happened.

There were footsteps, and before Mino was at the door Jiho had already stood up, giving a greeting before he went out, leaving them alone.

Mino crouched in front of Jinwoo, much like Jiho had, though unlike the other, he rested his hands on Jinwoo’s knees for balance.

“What’s wrong? What happened?” He asked, his gaze searching and filled with worry.

Jinwoo left his mug on the ground by the chair, and helplessly wrapped his arms around Mino’s neck. He didn’t cry this time, he just tried to find comfort in being held, in hiding away in Mino’s embrace.

“It’s not a big deal,” he mumbled. “Just—my ex best friend is dating my current best friend. I wasn’t ready to see him, we… We weren’t on good terms when we separated. I panicked.”

Mino was gently skimming his hair as he listened. “That sounds messy, yeah... This friend, is it possible to talk to him? Like, he hadn’t hurt you somehow?”

Jinwoo shook his head. “We just stopped talking. Honestly, I don’t remember exactly what happened. I—I’ve sort of missed him but—”

“If it’s possible to talk to him, do so. Maybe you can clear things out and see if it’s worth starting over. But friends come and go, sometimes people separate for a reason,” Mino spoke softly, his steady tone was helping Jinwoo relax.

“I know, I know, but this feels like an unresolved conflict more than anything. And it’s so agitating…”

“You can try to resolve it. I know I would want to. But it’ll be okay in the end. You’ll either get your friend back or finally end something that wasn’t good for you anyway.”

Jinwoo sighed and nodded, squeezing Mino a bit before letting go. He wiped his eyes and slowly stood up with Mino following. He was feeling a bit unsteady on his feet, so Mino held him around his waist.

Jinwoo gave a tiny bow of apology. “I’m sorry I caused so much trouble.”

“No reason to be sorry,” Mino said, smiling. “I gotta get to work though, but I’m here if you need me.”

“I’ll be fine,” Jinwoo promised.

“Alright, if you say so.” Mino leaned in and only when Jinwoo did the same did he kiss him.

* * *

Although Jinwoo felt in no way ready to confront Seunghoon, he knew that he needed to talk to Seungyoon as soon as possible. After getting home, it took him a little while to gather the courage and give the younger a call.

When he picked up, he sounded relieved. “Hyung! Hi—how – how are you?”

Jinwoo shook his head. He heard the uneasiness in Yoon’s voice and it made his heart ache. “Before you say anything, I need to apologize. I’m sorry for reacting the way I did, I’m sorry I left. I panicked… But I know there’s really no excuse… I’m sorry Yoonie.”

Seungyoon was quick to respond, “It’s fine really! I wasn’t even—mad or anything, just confused.”

Jinwoo paused. He’d wanted to explain, but then it occurred to him that perhaps Seunghoon and him had talked already. “…I supposed Seunghoon told you.”

 “Yeah, he did,” Seungyoon confirmed.

There was nothing else Jinwoo could think to say, since Yoon knew everything already. “…I’m sorry about what happened at Mino’s shop too. I just—I wasn’t in the state to see anyone. I mean, I didn’t ask Dongwook to lie for me, but still.”

“Seriously, it’s okay,” Yoon cut him off. “I figured you’d wanna be alone, or with your boyfriend, or whatever. It’s fine.”

“Yeah…” Jinwoo trailed off.

“I was really looking forward to it too,” he spoke again, to break the silence. “I was so happy that you wanted it to be me you introduce your boyfriend to, but… Yeah, I’m sorry.”

“Hyung, please stop apologizing,” Yoon said. “I didn’t know, and you didn’t know either—there’s no one to blame really.”

“Yeah… Yeah,” Jinwoo muttered. He didn’t know what to say next. There was no other way to put off asking either. This entire time something had been on his mind—in fact, it had been on his mind for years and Jinwoo knew it would be selfish of him to ask, but he could no longer hold it in.

“Does he… Is he mad or – I’m sorry, I know it’s not my place to ask, but for years I couldn’t shake the feeling that – he hates me and I can’t do anything about it—”

“Hyung, hyung, breathe. Hoony doesn’t hate you. He’s just— hurt… and kinda confused.”

It most definitely wasn’t the appropriate reaction, but Jinwoo couldn’t hold in his huff. “What’s there to be confused about…”

Seungyoon paused, likely trying to find the best way to respond. “Well, you kinda cut him off with no explanation.”

Jinwoo frowned. “No, no, I didn’t cut him off. We – drifted apart, we stopped talking. And the last time we talked, he seemed pretty angry.” This was a euphemism. Seunghoon had been furious. The last thing Jinwoo remembers of their friendship, was Seunghoon yelling at him.

“That’s not how he remembers it…”

“How does he remember it?” Jinwoo was dying to know.

“He said that things started getting bad when you started dating. That you became distant and wouldn’t talk to him until you completely cut him off. I… probably shouldn’t say this, but he’s told me that he was very worried about you at the time and it hurt him that you wouldn’t listen.”

“That’s interesting,” Jinwoo muttered. He felt his chest tightening and like he’d soon start hyperventilating.

“Hyung, breathe. I’m only repeating his words, okay? It’d probably be the best if you two talked.”

“Probably,” Jinwoo choked out.

“I could give you his number?” Yoon offered.

“Sure thank you—”

“I’ll send it. And hyung, we’re okay. This whole thing turned out weird, but you and I are okay… Right?”

Jinwoo sniffled. “Of course we’re okay.”

“Good,” Seungyoon said, clearly relieved. “Well… Talk to you later. Take care hyungie.”

“You too Yoon.”