“Aren’t you getting too close on the first day?”

 

Hanbin pushed Jinhwan away from me with his outstretched arm. I got confused, I mean, he was probably right about being a bit too close. The thing is, why did he look so pissed?

 

Could it be that he didn’t like me? Or was it about the unfinished dance match?

 

On the other hand, Jinhwan’s confused look didn’t last long until his lips formed a smug smile. “You don’t usually complain about things like this.”

 

And with that simple remark, the dumb look re Hanbin’s face. “Uh, I mean,” he scratched his head trying to find an excuse, and then put on a stern face as he nagged, “Y-You’ve become too much of a flirt, how could you be like this? You were still innocent in the freshman year but now you can’t live a day without flirting.”

 

The boys laughed at his sudden bluntness and Jinhwan’s smile remained there, but it almost looked like it had a different meaning now. Like, say one more word I dare you…

 

“Let me act like how I look,” Jinhwan said with that smile, “y.”

 

Some snorts came from the boys and I almost snorted too. How could I have thought that he was a bullied kid? He had so much confidence in that body.

 

And yet, something started bugging my mind now. The fact that Hanbin said he was too much of a flirt; could that mean he flirted a lot with girls? If that was the case, shouldn’t I draw a line and not get too close?

 

I was aware that I was stupid and inexperienced when it came to boys and their smooth moves, it was all the first time to me and I wouldn’t know how to control my feelings when a boy treated me in a certain way. And this guy here seemed to be a dangerous one with his mouth.

 

Perhaps it should be the time to be more careful...

 

But then Jinhwan came through with his charm.

 

My newly made plan crumbled down easily when he put his hand on my head and smiled gently at me, looking soft and innocent. How could I have the heart to wipe that smile off?

 

He deepened his voice as he said to Hanbin, “I told her I like shorter girls. And you don’t find many who are this adorable in this school. A rare one shouldn’t be missed.”

 

At this point I was pretty sure my ears were turning red, well, since the boys were shouting, “She’s blushing, she’s blushing!” Why did I melt so easily though? Was I that cheap to be bought with cheesy lines?

 

“Geez, how could you let him touch your head and not slap his hand away?” Chanwoo complained at the back. “You never look at me that way when I pat your head. Now that a handsome and y guy is touching you, you act all dazed like those girls in cheesy dramas.”

 

Did he really just slip an indirect compliment in his nagging?

 

Jinhwan turned his head to Chanwoo and pointed at him with a smile. “I like you, you’re honest.”

 

Damn, he could still be opportunistic at a moment like this. What a best friend I had. Whatever, anything that could help him get into the club.

 

Suddenly I realized that Hanbin wasn’t talking anymore. He wasn’t even standing next to us now; that boy was sulking in the corner.

 

“So,” Jinhwan pulled my attention back, “It wasn’t that bad, was it? I’m looking forward to seeing you dance.”

 

Should I really show him? I shifted my gaze to Areum, who had her arms folded on her chest watching the scene like a mother eagle. Maybe it would be okay if I had her around. Not because I was afraid he’d do “funny things” like she said, okay, but maybe I could run and hide behind her in case I’d screw things up and embarrass myself...

 

“I’ll think about it.”

 

Jinhwan nodded at my doubtful answer. He walked over to the stereo and came back with a piece of paper in his hand. “You can have this, but don’t show anyone yet. We’re going to stick and spread this around the school tomorrow.”

 

“Hey, is it okay to let her know earlier than others?” Junhoe asked with concern, while I stared at the well-designed flyer that Jinhwan just gave me. My heart sank to my stomach. It was the announcement of the new members recruitment, and I knew I really wanted to try...

 

“Can I see?” Chanwoo peeked over my head.

 

“Just see, don’t take it. It belongs to Hyejoo now,” Jinhwan said. “And don’t tell anyone about the date and the rules yet. These flyers will be up tomorrow morning anyway, just keep it until then.”

 

“Thank you for letting us know early,” Chanwoo bowed politely. “Hyejoo, we can use the extra time to start preparing.”

 

I doubted the extra time would give any advantage to me. Maybe I would use it to continue being indecisive.

 

Later, as we were leaving the room, Jinhwan caught my wrist and slowed me down until we were out of earshot. I gave him a puzzled look. Should I be alert? My “bodyguards” were walking ahead, I didn’t feel so safe now without them. Areum was too engrossed in listening to Chanwoo telling her about his concerns.

 

“You should decide tonight,” Jinhwan started in a low voice, “if you’d let me see you dance. I won’t mind helping you with this. It looks like you really want it.”

 

My eyebrows went up comically. Did he just offer to help me with the audition? “Really? You’d really do that?” I looked at him in disbelief. He answered with a small nod and a smile. “W-Why would you do that? I mean, we’ve just met today and you... you’re already being so nice to me.”

 

I ended up spilling my thought about it. Chuckling, Jinhwan took his hand out of his pocket to pat my head and then put it back in. I guess it was his habit; keeping his hands in his pockets when he walked.

 

“You remind me of myself back then. I had no confidence before joining the club. You know, because I was shorter than other guys.”

 

The confident Jinhwan saying he had had no confidence got me a bit taken aback. But if it was about his height, well, I could relate...

 

“It’s not just about height, though,” I mumbled.

 

Out of the blue, Jinhwan opened his hand in front of me, like he was asking for something. “Can I see your phone?”

 

“Why?” Despite being confused, I took out my phone and gave it to him anyway. He unlocked it effortlessly – remind me to use a password next time – and typed something quickly. When he returned it to me, I saw his name in my contact list.

 

Wow. I just got his number.

 

“Text me tonight if you decide to go for the audition. And don’t tell anyone about it, okay? Including your two friends.” He said without looking at me.

 

Absentmindedly I bit my finger looking at the name on my phone. y Jinhwan. I was torn between changing it to “Jinhwan” only and considering his kind offer.

 

Since the latter was harder, I opted to do the former first. I edited the “y” part out. He noticed it and laughed.

 

“You don’t think I’m y?” He asked.

 

“It doesn’t matter what I think, that word doesn’t have to be there.” I stuck my tongue out at him. “But really… Thank you so much.”

 

My thoughts then flew to my friend at the front. “Can Chanwoo join too?”

 

“I prefer helping you only.” Oh, how rude of me. He was kind enough to offer me some help, and now I was asking him to help another person too. “It’s more effective to focus on one thing at a time. So I’ll set my focus on you only.”

 

Thank you, Jinhwan, you can stop now. I said to him through my almost-exaggerated smile.

 

I shifted my gaze forward, still with that smile, and caught someone glancing back at us. Hanbin didn’t let our eye contact last more than a second before he broke it and continued talking to Bobby.

 

“You know, about what Hanbin said.” Jinhwan cleared his throat. He must have noticed it too. “I don’t really flirt that much. Hyejoo, please don’t think I have bad intentions by being nice to you. Let me be sincere for once. Like I said, you remind me of myself.”

 

He did sound sincere. Maybe I shouldn’t put a label on him too soon? It was only the first day after all.

 

That evening, the boys asked me, Areum, and Chanwoo out for dinner together. Or more like Jinhwan inviting me to join them, and my two friends were automatically invited too, since they were my “bodyguards” – that’s what Jinhwan said.

 

It had been a while I hadn’t laughed that much. Even Bobby and Junhoe didn’t seem that rude anymore after that night. Junhoe gave me and Jinhwan new nicknames, Fairy One and Fairy Two, which he mentioned a lot during dinner. However, my mind was still full of the audition... I even put the flyer up above my desk in my room, and my gaze would fall on it every now and then. It looked cool, colored in black and red, with a picture of the boys doing the part of their latest choreography. They had performed it at a recent competition that they had won.

 

I still couldn’t believe that I got to hang out with them. I had seen quite a few videos of them, but I had never bothered paying attention to their faces and their characters, but now that I knew them personally…

 

How could those dorks be the same people as the ones in the flyer?

 

I spent the rest of the day sitting at my desk, staring at the flyer with my cheek in my hand. It was troubling me so much. My phone was laid in front of me, I could almost hear it whisper temptations to grab it and text Jinhwan. About my decision, I mean.

 

Suddenly the phone buzzed and the screen lit up, making me perk up in anticipation. And then I remembered; I hadn’t given my number to him. It had to be me who takes the first step.

 

I grabbed my phone lazily and checked the new message. It was from Chanwoo.

 

“Little fairy, how’s your preparation? You’re joining, right?

I’ve picked a song and a choreography. It’s hard, but I’m gonna ace it.”

 

Whoa, this boy didn’t chill. He really had taken good advantage of the head start. And what had I done? Nothing. I sighed exasperatedly and replied his message in frustration.

 

“I really don’t know. Let me just die.”

 

His reply came immediately.

 

“You’re overreacting. Don’t be so pessimistic, take a look at our dance covers and you’ll see how good you are.”

 

I bit my lip in doubt.

 

“We can practice together if you’d like that.” He tried to convince me. Which reminded me of Jinhwan’s offer… I didn’t know how Chanwoo would feel if I told him about that offer. I felt bad for him.

 

“Hey, I’ll be sad and disappointed if my little fairy doesn’t join the club with me. I’ll be lonely there without my cute dance partner.”

 

“…Ugh, fine, fine!” I dropped my phone on the desk and clutched my hair in defeat. It was never hard for him to make me give in.

 

“Fine, I’m joining.” After that short reply, I ignored Chanwoo’s happy emoji attack and moved on to tell Jinhwan. Eventually my heartbeat escalated to the point that I could hear it in my ears. I began to type my first text to him, being nervous to an unnecessary extent. I wondered if this was how guys would feel when they were about to confess.

 

“Hi Fairy One, this is Fairy Two.”

 

“Damn, why am I so lame?” I deleted it quickly and changed it to a normal greeting.

 

“Hi Jinhwan, this is Hyejoo. I think I’m going for the audition.”

 

Just a minute after I sent it, Jinhwan’s reply came and my heart jumped at the notification.

 

“Great, have you picked a choreography yet? I can help with it if you haven’t. Let’s meet after school tomorrow, I’ll take you somewhere to start your practice.  Remember, don’t tell anyone. ^^”

 

Oh gosh, a cute-emoji boy. And that “don’t tell anyone” again, why did it make it sound like we were going to do something wrong?

 

Maybe because it was wrong after all…

 

 

I barely got enough sleep. That night’s texting had lasted longer than it should have, because I couldn’t sleep and Jinhwan had kindly chosen to accompany me through his texts. So I had spent the night texting him while thinking of what choreography I should go with for the audition. I really hoped Jinhwan wasn’t tired of helping my indecisive self just yet.

 

It had only been four hours of sleep when I woke up feeling anxious. My phone was laid next to my head – my mom would have lectured me if she had seen that, about phone radiation and all – and there was still a message notification that I hadn’t opened yet. Apparently I had fallen asleep while texting Jinhwan.

 

“Don’t worry too much. I’ll support you. ^^”

 

I blinked and smiled at my phone sleepily, feeling thankful that I was backed up by such a kind person.

 

“Thank you, Jinhwan. See you at school.” I replied. He was probably still asleep. I really felt bad for keeping him up last night.

 

I still had much time to get ready for school, but since I couldn’t go back to sleep, I decided to get up and trudge my way to the bathroom like a zombie.

 

And later I arrived at school when it was still pretty much empty, except for some nerds and model students who were there so early to study by themselves. Their lives really consisted of studying and a bit of resting only. I wondered how they could survive in life with that.

 

As I was walking towards my homeroom, I saw a tall figure from the distance, standing in front of a notice board with a stack of papers in his hand. His other hand was pinning one of the papers on the board. Once he was done, he took a step back and stared at the announcement he had just put up. He was too engrossed in it that he didn’t even notice me stopping behind him.

 

“Hey, Hanbin.”

 

“W-Whoa!” Hanbin jumped and let go of his flyers by reflect. The floor around him was then covered by the scattered papers.

 

“Oh gosh, I’m sorry!” I crouched down to gather the flyers, Hanbin immediately following suit. His face was pale like he had just seen a ghost. And his eyebags weren’t left unnoticed by me.

 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to surprise you,” I apologized.

 

“N-No, it’s fine,” Hanbin said in a slurred voice, his sleepy eyes shifting back and forth. “I was spacing out.”

 

“You’re here so early,” I pointed out.

 

“Yes, some other members too, we want these flyers up before everyone comes.” Other members? Could that mean Jinhwan was already there too? He had said nothing about having to come early, I’d feel guiltier for keeping him up the night before.

 

Hanbin gathered all the flyers hastily without a word. He took the ones in my hand and stood up like he was ready to leave any second. This could be just my feeling… but it almost seemed like he didn’t want to be in my presence. “I-I’ll go and return these to the dance room now.”

 

“Wait.” Hanbin froze visibly when I held him by the back of his shirt. Even I was surprised by my own sudden action, but maybe that was it; I couldn’t hold my curiosity any longer.

 

“Why are you so awkward around me?” I blurted.

 

“Huh?” We remained in that position for what seemed like forever; Hanbin freezing in his track and my hand pulling on his shirt. Was my question too random just now?

 

Hanbin turned around slowly and I let go of his shirt. “Why did you look annoyed yesterday, Hanbin?”

 

Hanbin scratched the back of his head and pouted like a scolded little boy. I wasn’t even scolding him, I asked softly like I was asking a toddler.

 

“It’s just… Y-You and Jinhwan, it was only your first day.” He said, looking down at his shoes. “Don’t… Don’t get too comfortable around someone you’ve just met.”

 

He shifted on his feet nervously while I tried to read his face. I wanted to ask, why would you care? Or what was he really trying to say? This wasn’t a stranger that we were talking about – it was Jinhwan, his own friend.

 

But in the end, I didn’t ask those questions anyway. He looked so troubled that I didn’t want to push him. Instead, I leaned forward and made an eye contact to get his attention, and gave him a friendly smile once I got it.

 

“It’s not always easy to be comfortable even around someone you’ve known for a while, is it?”

 

Hanbin diverted his gaze away and smiled sheepishly. He understood what I meant; we had been classmates before, we had worked together for group assignments several times, but he always looked uncomfortable around me. The reason was still a mystery to me.

 

“I’m not good with girls,” he said, “A coward.”

 

I can see that. The answer didn’t really satisfy me, because we both knew he wasn’t that awkward around other girls. I mean, at least he didn’t look like he needed to run away when he was around them.

 

“You’re not that bad. Just try a little harder.” I patted his arm to cheer him up and he flinched at the contact. What was I, a germ-infested creature? Despite of that first reaction, though, his face then perked up in a smile that showed off the deep dimple on his left cheek. He looked much sweeter when he smiled.

 

“Anyways, I’ll go to to the homeroom now. See you there?” I smiled once again and waved at Hanbin before walking away.

 

Just after a few steps, though, he called out and stopped me in my track. “Hyejoo.”

 

“Yes?” I turned around.

 

“I’m…” He lifted his gaze off the floor and our eyes met. “I’m going to try a little harder.”

 

Oh, that was one determined look. Well, it was nice that he took my advice seriously. He should be comfortable around girls, otherwise how would he get a girlfriend? Right?

 

“We’ll see.” I gave him a grin and two thumbs up. He looked much brighter than earlier now.

 

I continued my way to the homeroom, but not more than a few steps later, he called out again, “Hyejoo?”

 

“Hm?”

 

“Are you going for the audition?”

 

Right. He really had to remind me of the reason why I felt so troubled today. “Yes, Chanwoo made it to convince me.”

 

“Ah, that’s great.” Hanbin couldn’t look happier now. “Good luck, Hyejoo.”

 

We waved at each other and he actually let me off this time. That little talk was pretty decent, we had never talked that much before. You know, we could have had such conversation much earlier, when we were younger, but I guess there had been this huge wall between us called “awkwardness”.