[One]

My name is Kang Jae Young. Kim Jun Su was my boyfriend, once. We were so much in love with each other. That time, I thought he was the one. I treasured him like he was my life. The memories of us still fresh in my mind, like all of it was happened just yesterday. I still remember, accurately, how he confessed to me. It was on July 22, 2008.

[Two]

My phone rang. I flipped it open just to see Jun Su’s name was dancing on the screen.

-You’ve got one message-

I clicked on the ‘Show message’ button.

From: Kim Jun Su

Hey, Jae Young! :)

I hit on the ‘Reply’ option. My thumb was running on the keypad.

To: Kim Jun Su

Hey! ^_^ What’s up? Why you text me?

It was because I was curious and I couldn’t ignore his messages, just like always. Yes, we were texting, very often since these one or two months.

It was ringing again. As expected, it was him.

From: Kim Jun Su

Nothing much. I was bored, I guess. Hey, can I ask?

My thumb was running really fast on the keypad.

To: Kim Jun Su

LOL :D Sure, ask me.

In my mind, was running many thoughts, mostly predicting what would he ask me. I stared at my phone and after it was vibrating, I hit the ‘Show message’ immediately, that the phone couldn’t even start ringing its usual song.

From: Kim Jun Su

I think I’ve falling in love. Don’t you notice that? <3

For no reason, I was dumbfounded. Yes, I do like him. My heart and mind was divided into two. Why he tell me? Could it be me? Or, he was just going to say to random person on his phone, because he was bored? I hit the keypad to reply really slow and cautious, while thinking the appropriate way to reply to that.

To: Kim Jun Su

Whoa, that was fast and great. Who’s the lucky girl, dude?

Yes, that message looked like a best friend’s text. It was my best way of replying, as I don’t want to be obviously disappointed if he say other person’s name.

The phone rang again. I hesitated for 5 minutes. But, my thumb was making its way on the ‘Show message’ button.

From: Kim Jun Su

You.

Did he just sent a text containing just three letters with is Y, O and U? I was speechless. Then again, one thought came across my mind. Maybe he was kidding?

I hit the keypad, wanting to reply, wanting to know, wanting to confirm.

To: Kim Jun Su

Excuse me? What?

A couple of minutes later, his name was dancing on my screen again.

From: Kim Jun Su

It’s you, Jae Young <3 I’m in love with you >_<

[Three]

That was how we became a couple. Despite having different classes at school, we always texted each other, with really sweet nicknames and stuffs that a couple did. And, as far as all couple always did, we even build a dream, a future, picturing us together. That was when only the two of us was in the picture.

Not long after another person entered the picture, making disaster to our relationship. I didn’t even remember when was we have that fight and stuffs, as I didn’t remember when was our date of break up. It was too painful to even remember, to be kept as memory in my flashbacks library, it was too hurt. All I can remember, it was the end of December. The day which I was really disappointed with him and myself.

The day that I regret of my own action.

[Four]

“Why did you do this to me?” he asked me, furiously. I have never ever saw him like this.

“What did I do? I don’t even know,” I yelled at him back.

“If you’re not even sincere, why did you accept me at the first place?” he asked me again. I was getting confused that I was fuming with anger.

“I am sincere, I accept because I wanted to. No one forced me!” I yelled at him back. I, immediately, recalled it.

[Five]

“Hello, Jae Kyung,”the voice from the phone greeted. I knew it was Hyun Young all along.

“Hello. What do you want?” I asked, pretty annoyed. She was the one who made me drained into tears.

“I’m sorry about what I’ve done. I decided that you’re the better one for him. So, make him happy for me. If you’re really that mad at him, just do this for my sake,”she begged me, crying, I can hear her sobs. “We’re friends, right? Please, do this for me,” she said, still sobbing. Her words touched my heart.

I was loosen up, I was not angry anymore at that time. I was talking to her, like a best friends, which we were used to be.

I don’t even know, her words of ‘Please do this for my sake’ would kill me someday.

[Six]

“I know what this is all about. That girl told you, right? That I accepted you back, because of her? She did told you that, right?” I said, sarcastically, throwing a mad laugh.

“It doesn’t matter who does. The problem is you’re lying to me. You, liar!” he said, and it did broke my heart, badly.

I was going to break down and cry but no, I didn’t want to look weak. I hold in. I sniffed.

“You know what? We should stay away from each other, for at least six months. After that, maybe we can discuss whether we want to keep this going or just break up,” he said, rubbing his face in anger. He looked at me, in hatred. “I don’t think I can make decision now. I’m too mad,” he said.

“And, hate to even see me, right? Damn it,” I said, sarcastically. “Fine,” I decided. “But, why bother waiting the long six damn months if we can even break up now,” I said, he was looking at my face, in disbelief.

I took off the ring on my finger. The one that he gave me. “Take this back, I don’t want to know you,” I said, putting the ring on his grip. “And, I don’t think I know you anymore,” I said and walked away.

I never even looked back, as tears was welling up in my eyes, as my calm and arrogant face was fading away, as a sad-looking face was already there. I ran and ran away from that place as fast as my legs can take me.

[Seven]

That moment was the moment that I regretted along my life, even until now, even three years had passed. From that moment of my life, I just could watch him from afar.

I was too young that time. Now, if I think of it again, maybe things will be different if I took that six months offer. Why did I never thought of his feelings? As much as I was confused about things, maybe he was too. Maybe he needs that six months to think, to choose. He was about to do the right thing, by giving the two of us time and space to think. But, I killed it, I killed that chance.

Until now, I regretted about how I was so immature. I was too furious to think. I thought I could be better without him, I thought I could live my life as usual after I left him. I was too young.

Then again, many thoughts ran through my mind. What if I didn’t reply his texts like I always ignore others’ texts? What if I turned him down when he said he like me, love me? What if I discuss with him about Hyun Young? What if I told him all the things that Hyun Young told me? What if I didn’t yell at him that day? And most importantly, what if I decided to think again, took his six months offer to think about this relationship instead of just break it off without even thinking? Would it last longer?

Even now, I can’t help but to keep thinking about these.

And, Kim Jun Su, I want you to know. I’m still waiting for you. These are the words that I wish I could say to you if I can say the last thing to you. Instead of yell and shout of hatred and anger, which I did last time, I wanted to say these actually.

I’m  sorry that I got angry and lost my mind, my conscience, my patience. I was angry because I did love you whole-heartedly, in fact, I am still in love with you. No matter how I think, I can’t seem to forget that I once have you as mine. But, I still remember that you’ve said that you wanted only me. I don’t want you to erase the memories of us with another love. I don’t think I can give you blessing at all. So, I beg you, please come back, in any possible way. I want to badly go back to that time, where we were together. Right now, maybe I’m waiting, but I don’t know until when I can wait. So, please come back right now, come to me right now, don’t be too late. I afraid that I might get tired of waiting. Don’t go away, don’t go further from me. Come back again. Please, I’m begging you, I’m asking you. Please.