Minki went to class happily that Monday morning. He couldn’t wait to see Cheolsu, to tell him everything that had happened over the weekend. He’d already screamed to Minhyun, but he felt the need to scream more.

He would likely even see Jonghyun; things couldn’t be better.

“Hyung!” He greeted happily, skipping over to Cheolsu. Minki went for a hug, but the elder swiftly moved away.

Minki was confused, but didn’t think much of it. He had enough cheerfulness to last him decades. Nothing was bringing him down.

“We’ve got some time before class, I have to tell you everything,” Minki hummed, jogging to keep up with Cheolsu’s quickening pace. “You won’t believe the night I had—“

“Yeah, you fainted. How fun,” Cheolsu spat.

Minki felt something come over him, like a cold wave that froze up his guts. “I wasn’t—It wasn’t—How do you even know that?”

“I talked to Minhyun,” Cheolsu muttered. “Since you weren’t answering your phone.”

Minki grimaced. “I’m sorry, I had it on silent. I’m not on that thing 24/7.”

“You used to be,” Cheolsu snapped and Minki took a step back. “Now you can’t even text me so I know you’re safe?”

“What is up with you? You’re acting like—you’re acting like my parents!” Minki’s arms shook, fists clenched.

“No, I am not. I just want to hear from my friend when he goes out with some – guy!”

“What’s it to you!?”

They were almost yelling. Minki didn’t care. He couldn’t believe how fast someone could crush his happiness, his own friend.

“What’s it to me!? I care about you and you’re being stupid! Seriously, Minki are you that blind?”

“What are you talking about?” Minki asked, voice shaking.

“I’m talking about your inability to see past flashy smiles and cute dates. He’s using you, Minki!”

Minki took another step back. He didn’t know where this was going, but he didn’t like it.

Cheolsu continued, “I overheard him talking to some friends. He’s auditioned for your dad’s company. That’s it, Minki, the only reason he’s being so nice to you. Wouldn’t it give him an advantage? Wouldn’t anyone be kind to the boy who makes their child happy?”

“Stop,” Minki mumbled.

“I’m just trying to help. I care about you and I can’t watch him do this to you—“

“Shut up! He’s not like that! You—You’re not only insulting me, you’re insulting my father! You think he’d be that biased and unfair!? A-and Jonghyun wouldn’t do that! He l—He likes me!”

Cheolsu scoffed. “Yeah, he likes you. Such passion. I happen to love you, and I can’t believe that you’re choosing a dude you met a week ago over your – friend!”

“Oh, what’s the difference? I’ve known you for a year and a half and you think you’re more worthy of my attention or something!? Seriously, why can’t you just let me be happy for once in my life?” Minki hated the pathetic crack in his own voice. He hated the tears in his eyes and the trembling of his hands as he wiped them. “I was actually happy with him. Why are you taking that away from me?”

“Because it’ll only make you more miserable later,” Cheolsu said in an icy tone that Minki had never heard before. “Whatever. I don’t need to waste my time if you’re going to be this stubborn. Just don’t come crying when he breaks your heart.”

Minki watched him fix the strap of his bag and stomp away. He stood and watched after Cheolsu with tears rolling down his cheeks.

Minki went through that entire day seeking comfort, but when he saw Jonghyun on the hallway, when he met that worried gaze, Minki just said, “Not now,” and isolated himself further.

 

He spent a lot of time at Minhyun’s after that. His parents even allowed him to stay there for a whole week, although they did call every night to check up on him.

“I don’t know why he’d do that,” Minki muttered. “And here’s the thing – I didn’t even have that on my mind before Cheolsu brought it up! Now it’s all I think about! I... I think about everything Jonghyun has said and every look and every... kiss and I just think about it all being fake and I can’t—“ He covered his face and took a deep breath.

Not that Minhyun had never seen him cry or would judge him, Minki was just sick of crying.

Minhyun sighed and weaved his fingers through Minki’s hair. “I don’t think it quite goes like that. If he was faking, wouldn’t you have noticed? Insincerity is hard to miss.”

“Or he’s a really good actor,” Minki mumbled.

“Pledis isn’t an acting company.”

This comment got a smile out of Minki, though it was gone soon. “There’s something on your mind,” he said. “Something you’re not telling me.”

“I don’t want to make you feel worse,” Minhyun said gently.

Minki looked up at him from where his head was in the elder’s lap. “Just say it. Right now you might be the only one willing to be honest with me, without completely crushing me that is.”

Minhyun huffed. “I guess.” He shifted. “Well, here’s the thing. You are... How do I put this... Your soul is pure. You don’t expect anyone to trick you, you trust people a bit too easily. I don’t think Jonghyun is the malicious type, but you should be more careful. It’s a problem you haven’t encountered so far in your life, but people truly are willing to pretend to be a wealthy person’s friend, especially when they have nothing.”

Minki stayed quiet. He wasn’t absolutely sure what to make of this. “So you... You don’t agree with Cheolsu?”

“Not really, but... The possibility exists,” Minhyun muttered.

 

Despite his insecurities and hesitation, Minki didn’t turn down Jonghyun’s invitation to go out with his friends. Perhaps Minki missed him.

He had to wait until his parents were asleep to sneak out.

It went surprisingly well. He told Jonghyun he’d meet them at the cafe/club they’d prearranged, he didn’t want to pull Jonghyun out just to pick him up.

And it was fun, using the subway by himself and all; exciting even.

Minki walked in, immediately feeling the lack of air. He looked around for the group, squinting in the dim light. Jonghyun ended up finding him instead. He hugged Minki from behind and pecked his cheek.

“Hey lovely!”

Minki smiled brightly. “Hi!”

Jonghyun took his hand and lead him to the table where the others were – the same squad from the concert. They were just about to toast.

“What are we celebrating?” Minki asked as he sat down.

“Jonghyun’s call-back!” Hayeong said cheerfully.

Some sort of uneasiness settled in Minki’s chest. Cheolsu’s words came back to him, ‘I overheard him talking to some friends. He’s auditioned for your dad’s company. He’s using you.’

Minki ignored it. He ignored the dreadful anticipation that it would all be over soon.

“Call-back?” Minki asked, then cleared his throat upon hearing how weak his voice was. “What call-back?”

Things weren’t looking up as Minki laid his eyes on Jonghyun. The elder was chewing his lip, looking away.

Minki looked around. Dongho had his eyes on Jonghyun also, as if trying to communicate with him non-verbally. Aaron was on his phone, listening to everything but pretending not to be.

“He auditioned for Pledis Entertainment some time ago! He was accepted! Hasn’t he told you?” Eunbyul asked and sipped on her drink, the toast long forgotten.

“Yeah, how is it that you didn’t know? It’s your dad’s company,” Hayeong remarked, as if Minki wasn’t aware of the fact.

“I don’t know, he’s never mentioned it,” Minki said, voice growing sharp. He didn’t take his eyes off of Jonghyun.

Jonghyun returned the look; he was like a terrified bunny. “It’s just – it’s a silly thing I tried – I wasn’t even serious I didn’t think I’d actually—“

“What are you talking about? It’s your dream job!” Eunbyul said.

“N-no, it’s not,” Jonghyun stumbled, trying to send a message with his gaze.

“Yes it is! Weren’t you excited when you found out who Minki was?”

Maybe Eunbyul was drunk. Maybe Dongho reached for Minki and tried to explain. But maybe Cheolsu’s words were drilled too deep into Minki’s head by then.

“I see,” he said coolly. “Excuse me.”

The chair made a loud creaky sound as Minki stood up. He was starting to hyperventilate on the way out. And for a while he wasn’t stopped, but right at the exit, he heard Jonghyun calling.

“Mango, wait!”

Minki had never felt such rage. He suddenly turned around. “Don’t call me that!”

Jonghyun took a step back, eyes wide. “I... Come on, give me – give me a chance to explain, please—“

“I don’t want to hear it! I wanna go home,” Minki mumbled and closed his eyes.

“Please, it’s not what you think. I like you, I do, just—“

“Yeah, yeah you like me. You like me because you got to meet my dad and show off in front of him,” Minki spat, shooting daggers.

The look alone made Jonghyun’s knees buckle. It took him a second to realize what Minki was referring to. “Minki, we didn’t – we didn’t even know he was—we thought we were alone, come on, you – you can’t possibly think—“

“I do think. No, I know.” Minki clenched his fists and looked to the side, working on calming down until a new wave of rage washed over him. He started untying the bracelet that Jonghyun had bought him – a stupid trinket from the gift shop at Seoul Sky – his hands shook so much that he couldn’t quickly complete the task.

“You know what’s infuriates me most about this situation? I don’t even care. You could have just been honest with me instead of pretending to like me, that was a new level of low. But I don’t care. No, I’m happy for you. What infuriates me the most is that I won’t be able to stop hearing about you!” He finally managed to untie the bracelet and he flung it at Jonghyun, who barely caught it.

“From my own father! Yeah, he talks about you, about his trainees and idols, all the ing time. He’s ashamed of his son, but he loves you! Well congratulations, hyung, you are now one of his perfect little money makers. I hope you’re happy.”

Jonghyun had wanted to do so much. He was ready to do everything to keep Minki, to reassure him, to tell him that he really did love him, that things have changed, that his motives had changed, that he had truly fell for him, but all of it was swept away. Jonghyun stood petrified, clutching the bracelet in his hand, choking on his own sobs and watched Minki leave.

 

Maybe it was his crying that woke them up. Whatever it was, upon returning home Minki only ran into more trouble.

“Minki? What’s the meaning of this!?”

It was his father, who’d caught him in the hallway.

They didn’t yell right away. In fact, his parents didn’t yell often, they didn’t lose it that much.

But before long they were having a “family meeting” in the kitchen. Minki sat in his chair, tired, hurt, afraid and trying to disappear.

Minki tuned out the monologue about rule breaking, his health and safety and loss of trust. But it seemed to be the wrong thing to do because Minki’s not listening angered his father even more.

“—Don’t be disrespectful! The least you can do is listen when you already decided to put yourself in danger by breaking the—“

“The only rule we have, one that keeps me safe, yeah I know,” Minki snapped.

His father didn’t hit him often, but this was speaking out of line in a disrespectful tone at that.

Minki saw his mom wince, but she couldn’t do much.

He blinked his tears away, pressing his palm to his burning cheek. “Can I go now?”

Both Minki and his mom winced when his father slammed his fist on the table. “Don’t you use that tone with me!”

“Or what? You’ll ground me? You can’t ground me more, you’re already locking me up in here!” Minki did his best to control his voice. He wasn’t quite yelling, but he was getting there. Definitely enough for his father to go insane from all the disrespect.

“Well—I forbid you from seeing that boy!”

“Don’t worry, we won’t be seeing each other anyway!” Minki said and stood. He didn’t wait to be excused.

 

When he quieted down, when he got sick and tired of crying and screaming and struggling, when he curled up, hoping to disappear, his mother paid him a visit.

He didn’t turn around or try to talk to her. He kept his face buried in his purple pillow.

“What happened tonight, love?” She said in a soft voice.

“Oh, now you’re interested in my life,” he hissed.

“Minki...”

“It’s funny because up until a week ago I didn’t have a life! I don’t think you realize, you don’t have the right to be angry with me for breaking the rule! Don’t you see? You’re crippling me! Do you both really think I can stay here forever? I’ll be in my 40s and staying safe in my pink and blue bedroom? I’ll have to leave one day and you know what? The world will destroy me because I don’t know how to handle it! You’ve never let anyone or anything hurt me and now that it happened I don’t know how to handle it! I’m falling apart!”

She sighed and reached for him. Minki didn’t pull away, but he was not happy about it.

“I know you’re mad, love. I hope you understand that parents make mistakes just like anyone does. It’s not easy caring for another life; you do everything you can to do it the best way possible but there is nothing but your own mistakes to teach you how to do it. A parents’ mistake does damage, but I hope you know that we never wanted to hurt you.”

Minki shifted, frowning. “I know that. I know you love me and all that but... Mom, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that you’re right,” she finally admitted. “I’m not angry that you went away. I knew you weren’t at Minhyun’s either. I was worried sick the entire time, but you came back and you were alright. It was something I had to get over. And seems to me you were being well taken care of,” she added with a small smile.

Minki didn’t return it. In a matter of seconds his eyes filled with tears again.

His mom frowned. “What happened?” She asked again.

Minki leaned against her. He hadn’t hugged his mom in so long, he felt like a little kid again. “He used me,” Minki whispered.

“Jonghyun?” She asked in surprise.

“Yeah. He just wanted to get through to dad.”

“That doesn’t seem like him.”

Minki frowned. “Not like Jonghyun? You don’t even know him.”

She shifted, pursing her lips. “It’s something you don’t understand. You won’t understand until and if you decide to become a parent. Especially mothers, we have a sort of intuition. We know who’s good for our child and who isn’t... Sometimes this intuition is wrong, but most cases it’s not.”

She looked at Minki with a sorrowful smile. “I know right now you might think I’m a horrible parent, but trust me, even the worst of mothers have this intuition.”

Minki knew she didn’t need the reassurance that she wasn’t horrible. They’d already made up. “So you think Jonghyun isn’t bad for me?”

“I think you’re judging too hard too quickly. You need to give him a chance to explain. If he’s lying, you’ll know. There’s something in your gut that’ll tell you if he’s sincere or not. Not just about the situation with dad, but about his feelings for you also. That feeling is hardly ever wrong, Minki. Follow it.”

“You believe a lot in instincts and the universe and stuff,” Minki muttered.

His mom chuckled. “Sort of... But it’s true. The thing is that you need to trust yourself.”

 

The next morning Minki woke up feeling horrible. He hardly slept because of his parents’ argument the previous night.

They didn’t fight or yell, it wasn’t nearly as explosive. But they did speak loud enough for it to be audible in Minki’s room and just loudly enough for it to be upsetting.

On one hand, he felt guilty because his parents’ argument was his fault. On the other, it was some sort of progress – his mom had been trying to talk some sense into his father. She even used some of the arguments Minki had given.

But all in all it was one disgusting morning. This time he was glad that he had a chauffeur.

Once he spotted Cheolsu, Minki ran to him.

“Hyung!”

Just like the last time they saw each other, he didn’t respond.

“Hyung, I want to apologize,” Minki said.

This got his attention. Cheolsu crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow.

Minki took a deep breath. “I think you—You might be right about Jonghyun. I’m sorry I was so harsh... But I really need you right now. I fought with Jonghyun and things are rocky at home too and... I don’t know, maybe you’d wanna hang out?”

Cheolsu stopped to think about it. He wasn’t completely convinced, but Minki needed him. “Fine. I forgive you. What did you have in mind?”

Minki smiled. “Sleepover at my place?”

“Deal!”

 

It was a long hug when Cheolsu showed up at the door. Minki really needed it.

They’d always been close, cuddles were nothing new for the two of them. They were binging some drama with Minki curled up at Cheolsu’s side.

They’d always been close, but never had Cheolsu wrapped his arms around Minki’s waist and pulled him so close.

Cheolsu had never before tried to kiss him.

At first alarms set off everywhere in Minki’s mind. But then he thought – maybe he just needed to get over Jonghyun. Cheolsu was he friend, it shouldn’t be too bad.

Minki’s heart was racing. The kiss progressed way too quickly. He couldn’t catch a breath and soon he felt Cheolsu’s hand where he didn’t want it to be.

Minki gasped and tried to pull away. He had to shove Cheolsu to get him off. Minki scooted away.

“Hold on, hold on,” he stuttered, looking at Cheolsu with wide eyes.

“What?” The elder frowned, leaning in. “What is it? Didn’t you kiss me back?”

“I-I did, but—You’re going too fast,” Minki muttered.

“Oh come on, I thought we were good,” Cheolsu said irritably.

Minki curled up more. “Of course we’re good, just not that good...”

“Seriously, Mango...” Cheolsu reached for him again, but Minki at that point stood up from the couch.

It was a sting in his gut. Maybe it was that feeling that his mom had mentioned.

But Minki had been ignoring it all along. No, not just ignoring it, he went against it. It had been screaming at him that something was wrong and now he was trapped in a horrible, nearly inescapable situation because he hadn’t listened.

“Hyung, I think you should leave,” Minki said as calmly as possible. He was not calm. He felt like he was in danger.

“Why?” Cheolsu asked and stood as well. Minki stepped back. “You’re still hung up on him aren’t you?” Cheolsu snapped, raising his voice.

“I’m not—This isn’t about Jonghyun, it’s about you! You stepped over the line and didn’t listen when I told you!”

“Oh no, this is about you being stupid,” Cheolsu spat, advancing on Minki. “I thought you finally understood, but I guess you’d rather have him walk all over you instead of being with someone who truly loves you!”

“You know, I’m starting to think you don’t have this love thing figured out,” Minki noted, his back hitting the wall. “Jonghyun has never once made me feel this way—“

“What way?”

“Like you’re going to hurt me!”

Cheolsu smiled. It was likely the creepiest smile Minki had ever seen. “I’m not going to hurt you. If you were reasonable, you’d—“

“Minki?”

He was never so happy to hear his father’s voice. He wasn’t sure he was ever happy to hear it, but that wasn’t important at the moment.

Cheolsu finally backed off and turned around to greet Minki’s parents with a bow.

“What’s going on here?” His mom questioned as she moved to stand by Minki.

“Nothing. Hyung was just leaving,” he said, finally managing to steady his voice.

Cheolsu didn’t even look at him. Minki’s father saw him out.

“What happened?” He asked the moment the door closed.

“Nothing, really. He was just a bit pushy, but I’m okay,” Minki assured.

“I never liked that kid,” his mom said.

Minki smiled. Intuition.

He hesitated, but realized that some things need to be said, even at the risk of sounding sarcastic and rude. “I guess this proves that no one is ever a hundred percent safe, not even in this sacred house.”

Minki left for his room before his father had the chance to react.

Minki had learned another thing, one that he didn’t feel the need to share. He’d learned that he should trust his gut and right now it was telling him to give Jonghyun a chance.