Baekhyun’s brain is swimming with a million thoughts, ranging from What the is going on to Where are we going now to Am I ready to leave my friends behind. He can barely function as his mother grabs him by the arm and drags him away from the place he had called home for barely one week.

And then suddenly, as if by instinct, Baekhyun’s mind jumps to Chanyeol.

Sweet Chanyeol who never fails to share his tomato and mozzarella sandwiches. Sweet Chanyeol who is so unusually uncoordinated and gangly. Sweet Chanyeol who has the brightest smile in the universe. Sweet Chanyeol with his big dumb yoda ears that are actually adorable. Sweet Chanyeol who had treated Baekhyun with nothing other than kindness since their first meeting. Sweet Chanyeol who had kissed him. Sweet Chanyeol who he had just kissed. Baekhyun’s heart tightens and he suddenly can’t breathe as his mother continues dragging him down the sidewalk and towards the nearest bus stop.

No, Baekhyun thinks. I’m not ready to leave. I can’t leave.

So Baekhyun stops walking, bringing both him and his mother to a sudden halt.

“No,” Baekhyun finds himself mumbling.

“Baekhyunnie, what are you saying?” his mother asks, trying to get him to begin walking again. “Hurry, we have to catch the next bus before it leaves.”

“No,” Baekhyun repeats, this time in a much more confident voice. “No, mom. We’re not leaving. We can’t leave. Not now.”

“Byun Baekhyun, this is not your decision to make,” she scolds. “We’re not welcome in that place anymore, and there’s no where around here that will welcome us. I’m sorry that we couldn’t stay longer, Baekhyunnie, but things just don’t work out sometimes. We have to leave now.”

“No,” Baekhyun says, gesturing wildly. “I’m sorry, mom, but you’re wrong. We are welcome here. This place is the only place that has ever welcomed me. I can’t leave here, mom.”

“Baekhyunnie, I’m glad you like it here. I really am,” she sighs. “But we have nowhere else to go. If we take the bus to the city now, I’m sure we can find a shelter that we can stay in for awhile.” She takes hold of his arm and begins to start towards the bus station again.

“Mom.” Baekhyun’s tone is insistent, bringing his mother to a halt. “Mom, we can’t leave. Please, I’m begging you.”

“Baekhyun, don’t be difficult,” she pleads. “Come on. We have to go now.”

But Baekhyun refuses. If it took him nearly eighteen years to find a group of people that accepted him, how long would it be for him to find another friend? “No,” he says. “I’m staying here.”

“We have nowhere to go,” her voice breaks, and so does Baekhyun’s heart. He hates seeing his mother this way. Despite living an incredibly hard life, the harsh environment that constantly surrounds them has never hardened her heart. His mother has never stopped being caring and supportive and kind, and Baekhyun truly wants what’s best for her. But his heart keeps on telling him that they can’t leave. Not now. And Baekhyun knows that he has to follow his heart.

“We do have somewhere to go,” Baekhyun insists, thinking of his friends who he knows would welcome him and his mother into their homes without hesitation (because, after all, that’s what friends do). “Let me take us there. Please trust me on this?”

The mother and son stand on the sidewalk for several moments in silence. Passersby throw weird looks towards them, judging the two by their unkempt appearances. But Baekhyun doesn’t care about them. He just stands there, waiting for his mother’s response. His heart pounds loudly and he can feel his hot blood in his ears.

She nods.

/*/*/*/

Chanyeol is beyond happy as he prepares for bed. There has been a wide smile plastered on his face for the past two hours, and he can’t seem to stop grinning. All his mind is filled with is Baekhyun, Baekhyun, Baekhyun. His cheek is still burning from the Baekhyun’s kiss.

It doesn’t matter to Chanyeol that the kiss lasted barely a millisecond; what matters to Chanyeol is that he finally feels that tugging sensation in his heart that he hears Jongin talk about all the time whenever the topic of Kyungsoo comes up. It’s a nice feeling, Chanyeol decides, and he can’t be more happy that Baekhyun is the first person with which he experiences this sensation. Is this what liking someone feels like? Chanyeol asks himself as he’s climbing into his the comfort of his bed.

His thoughts are interrupted when he hears his doorbell ring multiple times. Chanyeol groans and slips out from underneath the covers, already missing the warmth of his bed. Trudging down the stairs, Chanyeol wonders who the hell could possibly be ringing his doorbell at this time of the night. He swears to himself that if it’s Tao with another bug problem, he will curse that boy for all of eternity.

Luckily for Tao, Chanyeol opens the door to find a very distressed Baekhyun and a woman who closely resembles him.

“Baek? What are you doing here?” Chanyeol asks, stepping aside to let the shorter boy and the woman in.

“Yeollie, I need you help,” he replies. “Can my mom and I stay here awhile? Please, no questions asked.”

Chanyeol is a bit taken aback as he closes the door behind them but answers without hesitation. “Yeah, of course. Anything for you, Baekkie. Stay as long as you want.”

“Thank you, Chanyeol,” the woman, Baekhyun’s mother, pipes up as she sets the few bags they are holding down in the family room (is it a family room if no family actually spends time together there?). “We really appreciate your help. I promise, we’ll be out of you and your parents’ hair once we find another place to stay.”

“Really, Ms. Byun, it’s no problem. You’re welcome to stay as long as you want,” Chanyeol replies. “Come on, I can show you the guest room. I should warn you that there’s only room for one, though.”

“Thank you, Chanyeol,” she says again, showcasing a genuine smile that is just as bright and beautiful as Baekhyun’s. “And it’s no worries, really. If you don’t mind, maybe Baekhyun can stay in your room?”

“Of course!” Chanyeol exclaims (a little bit too enthusiastically). “It’ll be fun.”

“Are you sure your parents don’t mind us staying here, though?” she questions.

“Yeah, no it’s fine,” Chanyeol replies too quickly as he tenses up at the question. Both Baekhyun and his mother immediately spot his discomfort and drop the topic. They settle in a comfortable silence as Chanyeol shows Ms. Byun to the guest room. The silence is broken momentarily when Ms. Byun bids Chanyeol and her son good-night, closing the door of the guest room softly.

When they arrive in Chanyeol’s room, the taller boy turns to face Baekhyun and truly gets a good look at him for the first time since he stepped foot into the house.

Baekhyun looks absolutely terrible. His hair is sticking out everywhere, his eyes are bloodshot, and Chanyeol swears that the bags under his eyes have gotten about a thousand times heavier since he saw the shorter boy just a little over two hours ago.

Understanding that Baekhyun doesn’t really want to talk right now, Chanyeol decides to keep his mouth shut. Instead, he lends Baekhyun some spare clothes and points him in the direction of the shower. He smiles a bit when he receives a soft smile from Baekhyun, but for some reason unknown to Chanyeol, the smiles seems less radiant.

/*/*/*/

Baekhyun feels good after taking a long shower, taking enjoyment especially in his access to hot water (which he hadn’t felt on his body for months, maybe even years). He feels even better when he joins Chanyeol under the covers. The bed isn’t dirty and the blankets aren’t rough and scratchy like the ones back at the motel (though he had been thankful even then that he had been able to sleep on an actual bed).

No, everything about Chanyeol’s bed is comforting. The sheets are clean and fresh, and the blankets are soft and fluffy. The pillow smells a lot like Chanyeol, and as Baekhyun inhales the scent, he’s able to bring himself to smile a bit. There is an abundance of Rilakkuma dolls that are practically taking up fifty percent of the bed, but Baekhyun doesn’t mind; the plushies are cute and they remind him so much of the kind and gentle taller boy.

But the most comforting thing of all is that Chanyeol is there, sharing the bed with him. There is nothing more relaxing than the feeling of Chanyeol’s warmth.

Despite Baekhyun’s comfort, he can’t bring himself to fall asleep. There are so many things buzzing around in his mind, and Baekhyun thinks that he might be going crazy.

“Can’t sleep?” Chanyeol’s deep voice comes from the side of the bed, startling Baekhyun.

“Jesus, Yeol, don’t scare me like that! I thought you were asleep,” the shorter boy replies, clutching his chest (his heart is beating incredibly fast, and it’s not because he had been frightened).

“Didn’t answer my question,” the other boy responds, shifting his position to face Baekhyun.

“Yeah. Couldn’t sleep,” Baekhyun says, sighing softly. He feels Chanyeol’s arm drape around his waist and he relaxes. A comfortable silence settles between them, but it’s soon broken when Baekhyun decides to ask the question that has been pounding his brain. “Yeol, where are your parents?”

Baekhyun can feel Chanyeol’s body stiffen as the taller boy responds curtly, “Not present.”

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Baekhyun says softly. “I’m sorry I asked.”

Chanyeol just sighs and drags Baekhyun closer to him. “No, it’s fine. I was bound to tell you eventually. My parents no longer live in this house. They moved out two years ago. They live out somewhere in the countryside. I’m not exactly sure where they live, but I’ve only seen them once since they left.”

Baekhyun is silent for a moment, not really knowing what to say. He himself had never known his father; he had run out on him, his mom, and his brother Baekbeom shortly after he was born. But his mother, his sweet sweet mother has never left his side.

Despite living in the worse conditions, his mother has always been there for him, constantly going out on the limb to make sure that Baekhyun could live as good of a life that she could possibly provide for him.

Parental neglect is something that Baekhyun has never felt in his life, and he can’t possibly imagine what it’s like for Chanyeol. Finally, he utters out a single phrase: “Why did they leave?”

Chanyeol sighs softly again. “I guess it all started when I came out to them? They had always treated me like a prince because my older sister, Yoora had gone against their wishes to become a teacher and get married to this guy they had forced her to see.

“So when I told them that I was demiual, they couldn’t bring themselves to wrap their heads around the concept. They tried to force me to go to these therapy sessions so I could be “healed” or something like that. But when I adamantly refused, they began to distance themselves from me.

“And then I told them that I wanted to become a music therapist rather than follow their wishes to become a doctor. They couldn’t understand this choice either. I guess they’ve always believed that a job in the social work field will lead to poverty, so they told me that they couldn’t just sit here and watch me ruin my life.

“I tried to negotiate with them. I told them that music therapy was something that I was really passionate about. I tried to make them believe that I could actually make a living out of this profession while still doing something that I truly loved.

“And that’s when they threw down two options. Option one was that they let me pursue music therapy and pay for my schooling, but I had to attend the therapy sessions. Option two was that they leave me, meaning that I would be one my own for the rest of my life.

“I guess it’s pretty clear which option I chose. So they packed their bags and moved out. I’ve been alone since. Yoora comes by when she has time, but she’s busy with lawyer stuff in New York. It’s kind of why I work crazy hours at Starbucks. I need to earn some money to pay for college so I’m completely drowning in student loans by the time I get my degree.”

Baekhyun is trembling with rage. How could something so terrible happen to someone so pure and kind and beautiful in every way possible? He doesn’t even realize that he has been crying until he feels Chanyeol’s warm hand reach out to wipe the tears away. “Don’t cry,” the taller boy whispers, his voice breaking. “Baekkie, please don’t cry.”

“It’s just-” Baekhyun’s voice breaks. “It’s just not fair. Chanyeol, you are perfect in every way possible. Please, don’t let anyone tell you anything otherwise. You don’t deserve people like your parents. You only deserve the best in this world.”

“Baekkie…” Chanyeol’s melodic voice trails off as he tries to find the right words. “You have to understand, I still love my parents. Even after everything.”

“How?” Baekhyun throws his hands in the air in exasperation. “How could you still love them after all that they’ve done to you?”

“Gosh, how do I even begin to explain this so you can understand?” Chanyeol sighs, running his hands through his hair. “I never meant to hurt my parents-”

“You didn’t hurt anyone,” Baekhyun interrupts.

“Please, Baek. Just let me finish, okay?” Chanyeol says softly. He sighs again before continuing. “I never meant to hurt my parents. I mean, no one in the right mind would intentionally hurt their parents. But the need for me to be true to myself and my sense of duty towards my parents, they were in a constant battle.

“I wanted to make my parents proud, but I also knew that I wouldn’t be happy if I just did what they wanted me to do. I guess in the end, I realized that I needed to be true to myself, and I understood that this need just meant more to me than the sense of duty I felt towards my parents. And so I chose to follow my heart.

“It’s been hard for me, you know? It’s hard to even contemplate that these two people who claim that they love me so much and that they know what’s best for me are now completely rejecting me because of the kind of person I have chosen to become. The kind of person I am. But I need to follow my heart. Maybe, one day, I’ll finally get that affirmation from them.

“But, still. They’re my parents, and for such a long time they gave me a great life. They’re still giving me a great life. They pay for the bills of a house that only I live in, they gave me the car that takes me to school and to work, they gave me freedom. So of course I still love them. Even after everything. And I know they still love me.”

Baekhyun is silent for a long time. His mind is buzzing, trying to find the right words to say. But nothing comes out, and Chanyeol thinks that maybe the smaller boy has fallen asleep. He breaks the silence with his deep, soothing voice once more. “So that’s my sob story,” Chanyeol chuckles painfully to himself. “Good night, Baekkie.”

Baekhyun hears Chanyeol begin to shift away from him, so the smaller boy reaches out to grab his friend’s arm, signaling the tall boy to stop. “You have a good heart, Chanyeollie,” Baekhyun finally whispers. “Don’t let anyone ever take that away from you, okay?”

“Okay, Baekhyunnie,” Chanyeol replies (he doesn’t add that his heart seems to have already been stolen by Baekhyun himself).

“Don’t look down, Yeol. I can’t tell you that you won’t suffer anymore because that’s just not true. That’s not reality. But I can tell you that all this suffering will be worth it eventually. That’s what my ma says, anyway. We can’t look down, Yeol. We just have to keep going,” Baekhyun says softly. “And just know that with love, you can truly accomplish anything.”

“Cheesy,” Chanyeol snickers, breaking the tension in the room. Baekhyun giggles, slapping the taller boy softly on the chest (Baekhyun tries really really hard to not think about how firm Chanyeol’s chest is, which Baekhyun finds impossible seeing as Chanyeol consumes giant Ziploc bag after giant Ziploc bag of Minseok’s treats every day).

Even in the darkness of the room, Baekhyun can see Chanyeol’s almond eyes glowing with happiness and delight. Even in the darkness of the room, Baekhyun can see Chanyeol’s gorgeous smile. Even in the darkness of the room, Baekhyun can see the beauty that lies within Chanyeol. Every aspect of Chanyeol is just so perfect. His looks, his personality, his soul. Baekhyun finds himself helplessly falling for every bit of the taller boy.

The boys fall into a comfortable silence when the laughter dies. “In all seriousness though,” Chanyeol says after several moments of quietness. “Thank you, Baek. For your kind words and kind heart. I kind of feel silly ing to you about my struggles when you’re dealing with something so much more bigger.”

“Shut up, Yeol,” Baekhyun says with no real heat behind his words. “We both know that I’ve been through a ton, but you’ve also been through a ton too. You’re struggles are no less daunting than mine just because you’ve been granted a room of your own and some cash. I guess what I’m trying to say is that we all struggle, and you shouldn’t feel bad about yours.”

“Thank you, Baek,” Chanyeol repeats, but his words are still as genuine as the first time they tumbled from his lips.

“I should be the one thanking you, really,” Baekhyun replies. “For the countless tomato and mozzarella sandwiches, the car rides, the homework help. The letting- me- and- my- mother- stay- in- your- home. Your smiles, your laughter, your friendship-”

Baekhyun’s words are cut off when he feels Chanyeol’s plush lips on his skin once more. But this time, they’re not on his cheeks. No, they’re on his lips. And this time, they stay there. Baekhyun finds himself quickly recovering from his initial shock and kissing Chanyeol back. He pushes himself up and climbs on top of the taller boy, his hands cupping the red-haired boy’s face to deepen the kiss. Chanyeol arms wrap around Baekhyun’s waist, pulling the smaller boy closer and closer until there is no space between the two. A small noise escapes from Chanyeol’s mouth, and Baekhyun can’t help but smile a bit as he feels Chanyeol’s cheeks heat up with embarrassment.

“I think,” Baekhyun mumbles into the kiss, refusing to let his lips leave the other boy’s (because oh my god, why haven’t they been doing this the whole time?) “I think I may be falling in love with you, Park Chanyeol.”

“So soon?” Chanyeol teases. Baekhyun playfully punches the taller boy’s chest, and Chanyeol mutters, “Okay, okay. In all honesty, I think I’m falling in love with you too, Byun Baekhyun.”

Author’s Note:

I’m backkkk! I’m so sorry for being inactive recently; I just have so many things coming up that I just haven’t really found the time to write this fic.

First of all, I’d like to profusely thank the massive amount of support I’ve gotten over this (there was one point where I got 30 new subscribers in a day, I think). I really appreciate all of the love you guys are sending me!

So, chanbaek officially happened (yay!), which means that there’ll probably be only a few more updates until this fic is finished. I’m thinking ten chapters in total will be enough but I’m still pondering over it. (Also I’m sorry not sorry for giving Chanyeol a really sad story too, but I think it’s a good way of showing that everyone struggles and we just have to keep moving forward?)

As always, the title of this chapter was inspired by a OneRepublic song, which you can listen to here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ok2taNgGMmA

In addition, part of Chanyeol’s speech there was actually inspired by one of the chefs (whose name I can’t remember right now) from the Netflix show Chef’s Table. It’s a super cool show if anyone is interested in checking it out.

Hopefully, I can get another chapter out soon. Until then, I hope everyone enjoys this update! <3