Chapter 3

They arrived at Joohyun’s house. Walking in silence made it seem like it’s farther than it is supposed to be.

“Get comfy, I’ll just get this opened”, Joohyun tells Seulgi as she rushes to the kitchen. She takes two wine glasses, uncorks the celebratory wine with her hand trembling a bit. Joohyun doesn’t seem to feel right in this angle. She expected to see Seulgi, but not today. Today was definitely overwhelming for her and she feels she’d prefer procrastinating for a deadline rather than talking with Seulgi. What would she tell her? Explaining why she left would be too shallow.

Seulgi crashes onto the couch. She takes it that it’s the same brand for the one they had in the apartment.  She sees the game discs in the rack near the television, and thinks Joohyun still plays. She remembers Joohyun wouldn’t let her score on NBA 2K15. That was the last game they played before.

Joohyun hurries to the living room clutching the wine in her armpit and holding two glasses. She almost considered bringing in some cookies but she doesn’t know where Mister Park might have put them in. She barely moved in the house for a day. Joohyun hands a glass to Seulgi and pours wine for her. Joohyun pours to the brim for herself.

“Have you been replacing the flower by the window?” Joohyun asks Seulgi.

“Yes, I found it as something distracting to do”, Seulgi replies while sipping too much from the glass.

Silence fills the air. Joohyun and Seulgi have been silent for friends who have been apart for a long time. It’s an awkward space to be in. Seulgi motions for Joohyun to refill her glass. And Joohyun obliges.

After emptying the bottle, Joohyun addresses the elephant in the room.

“Seulgi, aren’t you going to be mad at me? I mean I left you without saying anything. And here I am three years later inviting you to join me for some wine. It feels awkward”, Joohyun raises her voice realizing the alcohol is kicking in.

“You did leave me a note. But it doesn’t tell why.” Seulgi closes her eyes for a good five seconds. When she opens them, they’re beaming red. She’s trying hard to control her tear ducts.

“I was in love with you”, Joohyun confesses grappling the empty wine glass in her hand, she shatters it into pieces. Blood dripping as the shards drop to the floor.

“I know. But it doesn’t matter now, does it? You said it in past tense. Meaning you don’t now”, Seulgi claps back and puts the wine glass on the table. She stands, and starts walking past Joohyun without looking and slams the door.

Joohyun feels numb. The blood is still dripping on the floor. She didn’t expect this. She didn’t want to talk to Seulgi this fast. Her momentum was gone in a flash. The last chance she had was gone in a flash. She’s sure where the med kit might be. She remembers Seulgi does this for her when she’s hurt physically. Seulgi would dress Joohyun’s wounds and remember to change them. Seulgi was too perfect for her.

Joohyun’s family dinner went well. Though her older brothers insisted she needs to go to the hospital when they saw the bandage in her left hand. In their eyes, Joohyun is still a baby who needs protecting.

“Who tried getting my little baby wounded?” Seungri oppa asks in a short-tongued voice.

“Are you heartbroken too?” Taecyeon, the oldest, further pries.

Joohyun missed her brothers. She hasn’t seen them in three years and this is how they’d welcome her home. She runs towards them hugging them both.

Taecyeon, in his serious voice says, “We’ll drink to that when you’re ready to talk about it.”

Being the only girl among siblings was a good thing after all. Taecyeon and Seungri always tells her the most comforting things she could hear for all her troubles.

At the dinner, Joohyun’s father talks about business.

“You’ll now be the main writer and producer for a new drama series. I’d give you all the time you need to produce a good one. I also assigned a team for you already, so go meet them on Monday. Don’t be late”, Joohyun’s father tells her. He’s too happy his daughter didn’t break her promise.

“Can’t I have a break? Can I go sightseeing with my oppas next week?” Joohyun shouts as she tries to dodge anything about business related.

Seungri replies, “Nah, we can’t go next week. Taecyeon hyung and I are fully booked. Too many meetings. You left us with more responsibilities since you escaped abroad! That’s times three!”

And just like that, the dinner was finished.

She didn’t take any wine today. Thank God. Joohyun was allowed to drive herself home. She doesn’t have a Korean driver’s license yet but she’s pretty sure Mister Park already did that for her.

This place has changed so much. The streetlights are pretty. It’s more traffic than it was before. Too many people hanging out on a Saturday.

The traffic light goes from yellow to red. “Damn it”, Joohyun curses. She sees Seulgi holding a tall girl’s arm. That’s pretty touchy considering Seulgi doesn’t do that but just Joohyun. “Seulgi must have changed a lot for the past three years”, Joohyun whispers.

The traffic light’s green but she’s stuck in the moment. She finally steps on gas when the loud horns from behind are too noisy for her ears to handle.

Joohyun is annoyed. She’s angry at herself. Seulgi isn’t the type to be so touchy with other people. She knows this too well. She considers going to the apartment they lived in but admits Seulgi doesn’t need to explain anything. It’s just pathetic. Joohyun should be that person Seulgi is with right now. Joohyun recognizes that the elephant in the room was just gone for now.

Joohyun spends the weekend replaying her favorite PS4 games. Though her hand is still hurting, she already took out the bandage. It makes her remember times with Seulgi. It’s a shame, she knows. Too much emotions are piling up. Maybe she shouldn’t have gone back. She wants to disappear into the void.

She wonders how she’ll act sober and mature on Monday. She’s the boss. She can do whatever she wants to. She has a good scenario to present them with. Why does Joohyun feel like it’s gonna be a mess.

“You’re too smart, you embarrass yourself most of the time”, Joohyun whispers to herself like a crazy woman in a big house alone.