before infinity:
Daehyun and Youngjae escape a school dance and find themselves sitting in a park at midnight.

∞

                It’s only when Daehyun finally parks the car does Youngjae finally let out a breath of relief, the tension that strained his shoulders slowly dissolving into pure exhaustion. The engine dies and the night becomes quiet. Youngjae rests his head against the seat and watches dully as Daehyun opens the door beside him, exiting the car with a simple gesture for Youngjae to follow.

                Youngjae releases a low sigh, rubbing a hand over his face as he catches his own gaze through the rearview mirror. He’s taken back to the bathroom mirror at school, to the flashing lights that never seem to fade from his peripherals. Shouts, screams, cries. He hears them all, listening as they clash together into one resounding ring.

                He sees another pair of eyes through the mirror. They’re worried, but warm. And then the ring fades into silence.

                Youngjae blinks as he falls back into the present. Daehyun sits on the hood of the car, waiting for him. Youngjae slowly opens the door and steps out, the night air welcoming him with a lingering breeze.

                Crickets croak in the distance as Youngjae approaches Daehyun, the two exchanging glances before they turn to the playground up ahead. It’s empty, no signs of life. They’re alone out here, and Youngjae lets out another soft breath of relief. Youngjae tugs his coat closer and makes his way to the lone swing set in the center, settling himself down on one of the swings as Daehyun slowly trails behind.

                Daehyun leans back against a leg of the swing set and pulls out a cigarette, Youngjae watching him furtively from the side. The spark Daehyun ignites flickers through the darkness, his cigarette catching the flame and burning for a fraction of a second before settling into simple smoke. Daehyun slips his lighter back into his pocket with a low sigh, the embers that trail from the end of the smoke illuminating Daehyun’s features just enough for Youngjae to make out the faded cut on his lips. Daehyun catches his stare and raises an eyebrow in question.

                Youngjae only clears his throat and looks away.   

                Daehyun eyes him carefully for a few moments longer before he finally decides to speak, “…You seem disappointed.”

                Youngjae’s grip on his swing tightens ever so slightly, his gaze falling to his lap. “I am.” His words sound hollow.

                Daehyun suddenly lets out a snort, and Youngjae blinks in surprise at the unexpected reaction. “I told you school dances ,” Daehyun says, amusement clear in his tone. “What a waste of time.”

                Youngjae peers back at Daehyun in slight indignation, not sure why he even expected Daehyun to say anything else. He had complained about how lame the music would be and how trashy their classmates would act before they even arrived at the school, and it reminded Youngjae a lot of how Daehyun treated Himchan’s parties. Just a place to get drunk or stoned, to waste time with everyone else who’s decided to lose their minds for a night. Youngjae can at least say the dance was far less chaotic than Himchan’s party, but the atmosphere felt just as suffocating. He hated it there, and he didn’t need Daehyun to rub anymore salt into the wound.

                “You didn’t have to come with me, you know,” Youngjae utters, remembering the way Daehyun had showed up at his door that night dressed up in a nice dress shirt and slacks. It surprised Youngjae, to say the least. He didn’t think Daehyun would go to the dance when Youngjae told him he’d be going, nor did he even imagine that Daehyun would bother to get dressed for it. Something about the sight had left Youngjae slightly dazed, but still. He never invited Daehyun out. Youngjae had fully expected to attend their school dance alone.

                “Oh, I know.”

                A lingering silence settles between them with those words, and Youngjae blinks, waiting for Daehyun to say more on the matter. Daehyun only stretches his neck out, tilting his head from one side to the other as if unbothered by Youngjae’s questioning stare. “Is…is that it?” Youngjae asks when Daehyun shows no signs of explaining himself.

                Daehyun raises an eyebrow in question, smoke trailing from the end of his cigarette and curling through the night air in thin wisps.

                “…Is that all you’re going to say?” Youngjae clarifies, feeling almost awkward under Daehyun’s stare as his fingers fiddle idly with the chains of his swing.

                “Yeah?” Daehyun answers, expressionless, offering nothing once more.

                The two merely stare at each other through the silence of the night before Youngjae tears his gaze away, his palms beginning to sweat ever so slightly. The breeze brings about another chill, gentle yet strong enough to make its presence known through the light sway of the trees overseeing the park. Youngjae shifts, the swing creaking beneath him as he searches for the right words to say.

                “Why did you come with me, then?” Youngjae decides to ask, the question that had followed him the entire night finally coming into light.

                “You looked like you wanted to go,” Daehyun says simply, as if there were no other possible explanations for a decision so uncharacteristic of him.

                “But you clearly didn’t,” Youngjae reminds him, and Daehyun only shrugs his shoulders in response. “I never asked you to come,” Youngjae pushes, watching as Daehyun releases a low sigh between a cloud of smoke.

                “Who else would have taken you?” Daehyun says, and Youngjae peers at him in slight confusion. “No one goes to a dance without a date.”

                Youngjae bristles instantly, the words having more effect on him than they should as his eyes widen in surprise. “What? Plenty of people do,” he petulantly says, swallowing when Daehyun gives him a doubtful look. “And I could have gone by myself just fine.”

                “Sure, but you would have had an even worse time if I wasn’t there,” Daehyun states as if it’s a matter-of-fact, a smug yet knowing look in his eyes. “And I was just kidding. Maybe I did want to go to the dance and you were just a good excuse.”

                Youngjae pauses at that. “Really?”

                “Of course not.” Daehyun laughs when Youngjae gives him a disgruntled look. “Figured you’d be lonely if your only friend didn’t go with you.”

                Youngjae rolls his eyes. “Apparently my only friend has an inflated ego.”

                Daehyun gives him a small smile, sincerity taking his stare as he moves to sit on the swing beside him, cigarette dangling between his lips. “I didn’t have anything else to do, so I figured I’d spend the night with you.”

                Youngjae feels his heart pound in his chest, hand clutching over his coat in surprise. He glances down at his hand, frowning as he tries to make sense of the strange waves stirring within him.

                Before he can assess the situation further, Daehyun asks, “Why did you even want to go to that thing?” Hints of a rasp coat the edges of his words from the smoke, rough enough to send shivers down Youngjae’s spine.

                He feels…weird.

                “…I’ve never been to a dance before,” Youngjae quietly admits after a few moments, heels digging into the woodchips below in an effort to rid himself of the little flutters in his chest, “so I’ve always wanted to…check them out…” He bites his lip, looking almost ashamed by his confession.

                Youngjae can feel Daehyun’s stare on his profile, and he tugs his coat closer, the scent of Daehyun’s cigarette lingering in the air between them. The way Daehyun looks at him has him feeling oddly nervous, the feeling so familiar yet so unfamiliar at the same time. It doesn’t take long for Youngjae to pinpoint when he last felt this way, and he swallows nervously, barely able to meet Daehyun’s eyes as his heart stirs in his chest.

                “The only people who actually enjoy dances are the ones who get to grind on their dates,” Daehyun suddenly utters as if it’s law, and it takes Youngjae a few seconds to remember what they were talking about. “The rest are all liars.”  

                “I…I see,” Youngjae murmurs, feeling a bit foolish as he avoids Daehyun’s gaze. He lets out a soft sigh, feeling far too exhausted to deal with the strange musings of his heart.

                Stop it, Youngjae pleads, but his words fall as empty prayers. His eyes automatically wander to Daehyun’s lips, to the cigarette hanging from the corner in a precarious manner. The moonlight seems to cradle Daehyun’s profile, a sight that leaves Youngjae slightly breathless. He can’t quite get himself to look away.

                Daehyun seems to notice Youngjae’s stare as he suddenly turns to meet his eyes, the spark of contact hitching Youngjae’s breath. He isn’t sure what just happened, nor does he fully understand the strange stretches within his heart.

                “Want one?” Daehyun asks when Youngjae doesn’t say anything. It is only when Daehyun tilts his head does Youngjae notice the offered cigarette box between them.

                “S-Sure,” Youngjae forces himself to say, a bit flustered as he shakily takes a stick. Daehyun hands him his lighter and leans back against his swing, a distant look in his eyes as Youngjae fumbles to catch a proper spark beside him. Seconds pass before Youngjae finally manages to light up, the boy hurriedly taking a hit and coughing as he tries his best to smother his nerves.

                What was that?

                Youngjae isn’t quite sure himself. When he peers over at Daehyun again, he finds himself unable to