2016, two weeks after the accident

Hanbin had never been in a flower shop before - not that he’d had much reason to do so before now - so he was at a bit of a loss as to how to do this. Did he just choose whatever he wanted, or was there a right and wrong? What if those pink ones were reserved? It’d be so embarrassing to be rejected buying some ty flowers. Not that she’d be able to tell the difference anyway, but it was Hani. He wanted to get her the best.

“Excuse me?” The cashier looked up, smiling. “Which one’s the most expensive?”

She laughed and he was already mortified. You idiot, that’s obviously not how to do it. Look, she’s laughing at you!

“Well, probably these roses. Why d’you ask?”

“Uhm, well, I’m not really sure what to get, I’ve never bought flowers before.”

She walked over from behind the counter and he tried not to flinch. She’s not going to hurt you, she just works here. He hadn’t had much contact with anyone for the last two days; he thought he was forgetting how to talk to people. “Who’s it for? Girlfriend?”

“Best friend. She really liked flowers.”

At this the lady’s face turned sympathetic. “Oh, I see.” He wasn’t quite understanding the way she looked at him as though he’d just told her he had minutes to live, but hey, perhaps that’s what people did these days. He wouldn’t know anymore. “What did she like?”

Alarm bells went off. Whatdidshelikewhatdidshelike?? “... Pink?” He tried, weakly.

“Okay, how about these?” She held out some pretty pink flowers.

“Yes, yes, I’m pretty sure that was her favourite now I think about it.”

“Wonderful.” She left to wrap them, leaving Hanbin watching the petals that scattered behind her. It was almost as if the flowers were already dying. How pointless

Back to the delightful year of 2018

“This time I’m one hundred percent sure I’m right.”

The flower shop lady laughed. “If you say so. You’re running out of options, so you must be getting close!”

“There’s the spirit.” Hanbin placed the roses on the counter. “I’m sure I must be right this time. I definitely remember her liking white roses.”

The flower shop lady simply laughed again.

When Hanbin got to Hani’s house he let himself in, and, spotting her listening to music in the living room, crept up behind her and shouted “Look who’s back!”

“ me, Kim Hanbin I thought I was going to have a ing heart attack!” She swatted the air as he laughed, kicking off his shoes and falling onto the sofa beside her, resting his head on her lap. “And that was an insensitive thing to say.”

“Aw, not got your sight back yet?”

“Not got your degree yet?”

“Ouch. Dickhead.”

“You started it. wit.”

She ran her fingers through his hair, wrinkling her nose. “When was the last time you washed your hair? Do you even remember?”

“I remember perfectly. September 20th 2009, I finally decided to give it a shot. Didn’t much like it though. 11/10 wouldn’t recommend.”

“Smartass. Now to what do I owe the displeasure?”

“Just came to give you some flowers.”

She scoffed. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“Never then?” She pinched his cheek until he quickly apologised. “Sorry, sorry, I’ll stop… I’ll just mouth them now instead.”

“Kim Hanbin!”

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop for real.”

“Good. Now where are my flowers?”

Hanbin reached over the sofa to where he’d left them and took her hand, putting them into it. “They’re roses, your favourite.”

“Now you say that every time you get me flowers.” She gestured around the room, to where there were at least a dozen bouquets of different flowers. “What makes you think you got it right this time?”

“Aww, I’m bored of this game.” He whined. “Can’t you just say that they’re your favourite?”

“Now why would I do that?”

 

“Because you love me?”

“You’re funny.”

“Can you at least give me a clue?”

“Well, if they’re red, you might be right this time.”

“Uhm…” Hanbin glanced down at the white petals, grimacing. She won’t know the difference anyway, just a white lie, pardon the pun. Wait, do I have to pardon the pun in my thoughts? Maybe- okay you’ve hesitated long enough, answer her already. “Well, that would make me right.”

“That so?” She leaned down to smell the flowers, smiling a little. “Thanks Bin, I love you.”

“That’s disgusting, now can we please get some tea in here?”

“Despicable, ordering around a disabled person like that.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever.” He took her arm and walked her to the kitchen, despite her protests of knowing her way around her own (ing) home.

“Why’d’you really come, Bin?” She asked softly, as she put the kettle on.

“To give you flowers and be an outstanding gentleman of course.” He replied, dismissively.

“Hanbin.”

“My grandma died.” He said, casually, dropping a tea bag into each mug and taking the kettle out of her hands to pour, despite her protests of knowing how to pour her own (ing) tea.

“Oh baby I’m so sorry.” Hani was one of those people who could get away with using otherwise strange terms of endearment. From her it sounded natural, though from anyone else he’d feel like throwing up. Well, he still kinda felt like throwing up, but he’d mostly gotten over his disgust. Mostly.

“Yeah, it’s alright.” He smiled as she felt for his hand, squeezing it gently.

“Is it?”

He shrugged. “Nothing I can do about it.”

“But are you alright?”

“Not really.” For some reason he felt tears pricking his eyes. Not now, you idiot. Not in front of Hani. He hastily wiped them away, trying to breathe.

“Do you need a hug?” She didn’t wait for an answer, knowing he would never want to admit it. After the tea had gone lukewarm, she eventually spoke again, his hair without complaining this time. “When’s the funeral?”

“Couple days.”

“That soon? Members of your family are that organised?”

He smiled a little. “Unbelievable right? It was actually down to her. She had it all organised apparently. It’s at some resort in Busan, where she lived.”

“Resort? But it’s a funeral… In the middle of winter.”

“Cool right?”

“I take it back, you’re definitely related. You gonna be alright on your own?”

“I won’t be, Chanwoo’s coming, obviously, and Ji said he’d come too. I think Donghyuk’s gonna come, since he’s already in Busan visiting his parents. Junhoe might, if he can get out of this family thing he has.”

“Oh that’ll be nice. Give Dongie a hug for me, I haven’t seen him in ages.”

“I will, but Hani, I hate to break it to you, but you won’t be seeing him for quite some time… Try eternity?” She gave his shoulder a light shove. “Okay, okay, I’m out. For now. You’re lucky I need to go now.”

She insisted on showing him out, despite his protests that he was perfectly capable of opening a (ing) door. “Thanks for coming baby. And thanks for the flowers.”

“No problem.” He stepped out the door and was just about to leave when she called after him.

“You can’t fool me with white roses though!”

“Wait, what?” The door slammed shut. “.”

Now he had to go back to the flower shop and that lady was going to laugh at him again.

The 7am train was a little too crowded for Hanbin’s taste. He wasn’t claustrophobic or anything, he just didn’t like large amounts of people. Or small amounts, for that matter.

“Why is it so crowded?” He complained to Jiwon as they settled down in their seats opposite one another.

Jiwon rolled his eyes, giving him a little shove. “Just because you’re used to being in first class with like two people drinking whiskey and playing solitaire.”

Hanbin scowled at him. “You can’t play solitaire with two people.”

“Perhaps you just haven’t tried hard enough.”

“It’s called solitaire for a reason.”

“You know I don’t speak German.”

“It’s French.” Hanbin rolled his eyes. “And I’ll have you know we only drink champagne.”

Jiwon just laughed. “Of course you do.”

The reason they were on such a “busy” train at that “ungodly hour” - Hanbin’s sulky words - was that they were travelling to Busan for Hanbin’s grandmother’s funeral. Jiwon was a little concerned. Hanbin was something of a loose cannon at social events, even when it wasn’t a funeral for his favourite person. Luckily the person in question had been just as strange as her grandson, and had arranged it so that her funeral was just as unconventional.

And so that was how the two of them ended up on a train to Busan in the middle of winter to attend a funeral at a holiday resort.

“So… Since we’re on a train to Busan… Think there’s gonna be any zombies?”

Hanbin glared at him.

“Unoriginal?”

 

“I mean, that joke has probably been made about fifty thousand times in this carriage alone since that damn film came out.”

“This carriage can’t fit fifty thousand people.” Jiwon pointed out, very necessarily. Hanbin didn’t dignify that with a response, and Jiwon eventually got the message. “Fine, fine. I’m bored, okay?”

“It’s been like ten minutes!”

Jiwon kicked his shin under the table. “It’s not like your attention span is all that great. The other day I saw you attempt to start reading a book and within about two seconds you were making origami out of the pages.”

“Whatever. What do you wanna do then?”

Neither of them had an answer for this, and so they ended up staring out the window in silence for a while. Now they weren’t bickering it was actually rather nice, Hanbin grudgingly admitted. It had snowed a lot that year, and though the trees may be suffering they sure looked pretty. He took out his phone to take a photo out the window, but Jiwon’s head was in the way. He was about to ask him to move, but he looked at the screen and his silhouette looked so good against the backdrop he found himself taking the picture anyway. He stared at the photo for a few moments, trying to pretend that it was the landscape which was holding his attention. Focus on the scenery, Hanbin. Look, what a nice tree. Wow, that’s a fine looking shrub.

“I know I’m gorgeous but there’s no need to stare.” He was snapped out of his rather strange train of thought by Jiwon’s teasing voice.

Hanbin was going to respond with something snarky but the words died on his tongue and his stare lifted from the photo and simply settled on the real thing instead. “I… I wasn’t staring.” He managed, lamely. All of a sudden his throat felt dry.

Jiwon cocked his head, raising a curious eyebrow. “I was teasing.” He began rummaging around in his bag, leaving Hanbin a few moments to snap out of it.

Come on, Hanbin, you’re better than this.

“I know you were but I wasn’t staring! I mean! There was a spider on your shoulder… Or something…” Wow, that was ing smooth.

Luckily Jiwon wasn’t really listening to the tragic words spewing out of his unfortunate mouth. “Mm… Cards?”

“Cards…?” Hanbin repeated, dumbly.

Jiwon reappeared, holding out a pack of cards.

“Playing cards.”

 

“Ohhh. Right. Sure, sure.”

You really need to pull yourself together, Kim Hanbin.

He took a sip of his drink in a desperate attempt to do just that, before realising it was regular Coke rather than diet. Great, now as well as being a ing disaster I’m gonna get diabetes. Just brilliant.