It was 3am when Hanbin received a text from Jiwon that made his heart stop. Well, not literally, of course.

How on earth Jiwon managed to communicate through text that he was having a panic attack whilst in the midst of having a panic attack was totally beyond Hanbin, who had a great deal of firsthand experience in the matter. Nonetheless he managed it. Perhaps it was the fact that Hanbin had been ignoring his texts prior to finally checking his phone which made it so painful, or perhaps it was the fact that Jiwon was in pain. Either way he wasted no time in scrambling for his car keys and practically flying out the door.

As he ran down the steps in his apartment block, loudly (and colourfully) cursing the “ting” elevator which “never ing works”, Hanbin scrolled through his recent texts, his thumbs shaking as he read them.

00.10

Jiwon: i think i just saw my dad????

bin u there.??.

01.22

bin my shift starts now but i dont thik i can do this

2.10

bin??? i need u

3.00

i’m having a panic attack please come

Hanbin shook his head, hating himself. Was his ty music so important that he’d ignore his friend when anything could’ve happened to him? And how the had Jiwon typed that sentence so perfectly when he couldn’t spell anything usually? He’d even used a ing apostrophe. Hanbin didn’t think he’d ever seen him grace that key before, let alone in the middle of a goddamn panic attack.

He quickly sent Jiwon a text telling him he was on his way and flung himself into his car, grateful for the ungodly hour - meaning the road was almost entirely devoid of traffic as he sped over to the gas station where Jiwon worked early hours on certain weekdays. He figured he’d just send any speed tickets straight to his father and claim some kind of emergency. Not that this wasn’t an emergency, he just doubted his father would care, being the kind and sympathetic man he so perfectly embodied.

For the first time in a long while Hanbin drove in silence, only accompanied by the sound of his frantic thoughts and the blood coursing roughly through his veins. I’m not in a good state to drive, he vaguely acknowledged as he sped through the streets of Seoul, but another thought came to him almost at once; another punch to the gut.

He’s not in a good state to be alone.

I’m so selfish.

When he finally reached the gas station Hanbin didn’t bother parking neatly in front of a pump and simply stopped right across the entrance - his mind focused only on Jiwon. He couldn’t think of anything else. Nothing else mattered, not right then. Probably not ever.

Slamming his door he sprinted into the shop and demanded a very confused employee to open the back door. Perhaps the employee was so bored they were grateful for any excitement, or perhaps they were too tired to argue, but either way once Hanbin explained his friend was “in danger” he didn’t waste much time in showing him to the backroom where Hanbin knew his friend would be - having visited him several times at work. In fact, looking back on it, the employee himself seemed rather rattled. Perhaps he should’ve asked if he was alright. He shrugged it off. Hindsight’s a .

“Bin?”

A small voice greeted him as he threw the door open a little too violently, guiltily resolving to close it more gently. When his gaze followed the sound Hanbin felt his heart twist painfully. His cheerful, solid, reliable best friend was huddled in the corner of a room, his arms wrapped tightly around his knees, visibly shaking.

“Hyung…” Hanbin couldn’t manage any words and instead walked over and sat beside him, sliding his arm around his friend’s shoulders.

“You came.” Again, that small voice. Hanbin hated it - hated whatever - or whoever - had broken his friend.

“Course I came…” Hanbin wasn’t sure what else to do besides hold him closer. He felt like . He’d ignored him for hours, and then when he was finally there to help him all he could do was stare. I’m such a friend. He thought of all the times Jiwon had put him back together - how effortlessly his friend could make him feel better. “Are you okay?” Good one, Bin. Does he ing look okay?

Jiwon ran a shaky hand through his hair. “I think I’m alright now.” He replied quietly, tremors still lingering in his voice. “I can breathe again, at least.” A shadow of a smile attempted to reveal itself, and suddenly Hanbin understood. Being caring and understanding was Jiwon’s strength; not his. Jiwon didn’t want that from him - he just wanted him to be Hanbin. He wanted Hanbin to make him laugh. Or at least he wanted to forget whatever had ed him up this badly.

“Honestly, I’m not sure this was entirely worth me abandoning my bed for. I was thinking there was at least gonna be some good music or some hot guys, but nope, I get this angsty instead.”

He didn’t look down but he felt Jiwon’s laughter against his shoulder, where he had firmly planted his face. Probably to hide the fact he’s been crying. The thought tore at his heart, and he tried to push it out of his mind.

“Always here to disappoint.” He heard him mutter.

“As long as you never come through. I think I might have a heart attack if you achieve anything mildly remarkable.” Hanbin replied, trying his best to sound lighthearted, but unable to resist running his fingers through Jiwon’s hair as soothingly as possible. When he heard a gentle sigh he figured he must be doing something right - he’d learned from the master after all. The “master” who was currently huddled in a mess on the floor of the gas station bathroom, crying into the shoulder of his loser best friend who had racked up at least three speeding tickets on the way there, and was, upon closer inspection, wearing a Lego Batman t-shirt and actual crocs. Apparently nothing else was clean. As you’d expect when seemingly nobody had ever told you there wasn’t a laundry fairy. (Maybe for good reason; he’d never gotten over the betrayal of the tooth fairy’s lack of existence. He liked to blame this trauma for the rather unfortunate way he turned out.)

Hanbin couldn’t count the number of hours he’d spent getting tears all over his best friend’s favourite clothes as Jiwon his hair and told him to stop making a ing mess in the gentlest way possible.

“Me too.” Though attempting to sound light, Jiwon’s voice was still small, still fragile. There was something about it that just felt… defeated. He hated it. God, he couldn’t stand hearing Jiwon feel crushed. He’d do anything to make it go back to normal. But what could he do?

“Let’s go to the fair.” The words were out of his mouth before he even knew he’d thought them.

“The what?” He didn’t sound all too impressed. Not that