Seola finds them gross, but she goes along with Soobin to increase her collection of cicada skins anyway, unable to resist the younger girl. They're walking along the hillside, stopping occasionally as Soobin finds more, when Seola spots a sunflower and points it out to Soobin whose eyes widen from the discovery.

"A sunflower!" she shouts in glee.

Suddenly, Seola is holding a handful of those disgusting brown skins while her best friend runs up to the flower and smells it. She almost flings them away, but the smile currently lighting up Soobin's face only makes her hold on to the cicada skins with both hands.

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The sun is high up in the clear sky and Seola is barely surviving the heat. Keeping her movements as small as possible to not wake the dozing Soobin whose head is on her lap, she slowly reaches for the fan near her best friend's open hand.

She's almost touching it when she feels Soobin stir in her lap.

"It tickles," the younger girl murmurs.

Seola immediately leans back against the tree trunk and puts her hair over her shoulder. 

"Sorry."

She watches as Soobin sits up and looks at her, her droopy eyes following the bead of sweat rolling down the side of her forehead.

Soobin stands up and smiles down at her, offering her hand.

"Let's go get some ice cream!"

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"Unnie, say aahhh—"

Seola opens and eats from the same spoon her best friend used. Strangely, she feels something fluttering in her stomach.

"It's yummy, isn't it?" Soobin asks, her eyes twinkling as she prepares another spoonful of ice cream.

The older girl only nods in reply and opens again to hide her grimace.

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"Unnie!" Soobin shouts in excitement.

"What is it?" Seola asks, wondering what made her best friend suddenly perk up.

Soobin just slaps her arm, wriggling on her seat, and shoves her phone in front of the older girl's face.

"Look!"

1 message from Sunbae <3

"He's asking if I want to hang out with him tomorrow!" Soobin beams, eyes twinkling once again.

Seola stays mum, not able to speak when her lungs feel like they're constricting.

"Should I go?" The younger girl doesn't notice her wince and continues, "I should go, right?"

Seola nods once more, contorting her facial muscles into something that barely resembles a smile.

She ignores her heart that screams no.

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It's much later in the day when it happens.

She's finally alone in her room and apart from Soobin whom she spends most of her days with, and now Seola's staring at the small, yellow flower in her hand.

How fitting.

Seola squeezes her hand into a fist, crushing the sunflower, while her other hand swipes at the lone tear that escaped from her watery eyes, trailing down her cheek towards the ground.

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The first flower definitely wasn't the last.

They would come during their sleepovers on Fridays, and Seola's thankful that Soobin's the one who comes over to her house. Her bedroom has a connected bathroom, making it easier to hide the petals which steadily increase in amount as her best friend shows her more texts from her beloved sunbae.

"Unnie, are you sure you're okay?" Soobin asks, wrapped tightly around a blanket to replace Seola's arms. "This is your fifth time using the toilet in an hour and a half."

"It's nothing," Seola lies, brushing off her pain, "just ate something bad earlier, I guess."

She supposes she shouldn't have said that when she sees Soobin's eyes widen in worry, pushing her blanket off of her and standing up immediately to make her way to Seola. Her best friend's hands fly to her forehead, checking her temperature, and flail about, grasping her arms.

Seola chances a glance to Soobin's eyes—something she hasn't done much these past few days because she knows she'll just fall harder if she did, which, well, kind of really —and sees utter concern and care and love in them and it pains Seola to know that the love she sees in her best friend's eyes will never be the same as the love that she has for Soobin and it just hurts so damn much that tears form in her eyes and she barely swallows down the petals that are bursting to leave , finally letting Soobin know just how much she loves her.

But Seola manages to keep it down, despite Soobin's eyes getting impossibly bigger it borders on comical, and just hugs her best friend in an attempt to somehow calm down her feelings, because hugs from her best friend always managed to calm her down.

"I'm fine, Soobin," Seola says, not daring to lean back and look again at eyes which make her helplessly weak. "Really, I am."

Since she's taller, she feels Soobin nudge her chin softly with the top of her head. "Are you sure? I can go out and buy medicine and I'll be back so fast you wouldn't even notice I was gone."

Seola lets her lips form into a sad smile, knowing that Soobin won't see it. "It's really okay, just..." she hesitates, not wanting to be selfish, but screw wanting when it's something that she actually needs. "Please just continue hugging me."

She hears Soobin mumble a muffled "okay" and lets the smaller girl lead her by the hand onto the bed again, pulling her down until she's the one who's embraced by warm arms.

Life truly is bittersweet, Seola thinks.

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Surgery—she has heard of it, and has even considered having it. But the thought of not being able to love Soobin—who is as adorable as the children she interacts with, who literally has heart eyes for the smallest things in life, and who is sometimes eccentric but literally sunshine personified—beyond the love of a friend pains her because that girl deserves all the love in the world and more. So Seola chooses not to have it, even if she knows the risks, and instead chooses to hang on

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[a/n]

this was inspired by wjsn's first reality show, would you like girls ! eng subs can be found on youtube ehe