Jungkook tapped his finger against the wooden table that was polished to shine, attempting to distract himself from anything but the man in front of him. Late last night he had received a call from him, asking to meet up at this very coffee shop. It had been nearly half a year since the last time they saw each other, with few text messages and phone calls between them.

When he first left home Kim Namjoon had been a godsend. Jungkook had been living a pretty lavish life before he finally gathered enough courage to tell his parents he was leaving. It had gone as well as expected. His father had scoffed, telling him he’d be back before throwing back a glass of bourbon. His father’s indifference wasn’t what worried him. It was his mother.

She had lost it.

She had always been controlling. When he was six he was friends with a boy at school, someone named Kris. As his mother liked to say Kris’ family was ‘trailer trash’, the scum of the world. Jungkook hadn’t understood what that meant back then. All he knew was if his mother considered them that he wasn’t allowed to be friends with them.

When he was fifteen his mother found out about him being ually active, discovering the sheets he had attempted to hide in the washer. He should have run a cycle to clean them, but he never thought his mother would go digging through his dirty laundry.

She forced him to his knees in front of the cross in the living room, making him pray for his supposed sin for hours as she told him that sinner’s burn in hell and the only righteous path to salvation would be atoning for his mistakes.

He was glad he finally left.

The last time he saw his mother was three years ago at a supermarket. He ran out the store as soon as he saw her, flipping his collar up and shoving his full basket on a nearby shelf not even bothering with the check-out line.

At first, being on his own was hard. He wondered if it was the right choice. Maybe he should it up and deal with his overbearing mother. Give up his dream of being a mechanic, something his mother viewed as ‘too plebian’ for a mighty Jeon to do. It would be an embarrassment to the family for someone to work as a car technician. Just look at his older brother majoring in business top of his class. Why couldn’t Jungkook be like him?

A long time ago he hated Kim Namjoon. Ara, the girl he was in love with, left him for Namjoon. It wasn’t any fault of hers. Jungkook understood that. He had treated her horribly, using words he knew would make her doubt herself and even cheating on her.

Once upon a time Jungkook had been trash just like his mother.

It took him awhile to realize Ara really meant it the last time she broke up with him. He even tried to pursue her when she first started dating Namjoon. The two of them had a pattern they stuck to, always breaking up only to get together once again. That was why it shocked Jungkook to the core when he found out she was with Namjoon. The boy she had been best friends with since they were kids. Jungkook felt like he was doomed as soon as he heard.

It had been nine years since then. He was twenty-six years old now, and the world had given him many lessons in life. He could have stuck with his family, agreeing to marry whatever sweet, empty headed girl his mother decided on for him. He could have gone to college, struggling through it and hating every moment.

He was glad he didn’t.

His life was harder. He had trouble paying rent. He had a front door that had to be shimmied to lock and a leak in the bathroom that he fought against daily to stop growing mold. He had a roommate and now best friend, Irene, who was a waitress struggling just as much as he was. But freedom was worth it. There was no one trying to rip at him from the seams. No one to undermine and fill him with doubt about himself and his abilities. He’d rather live like this the rest of his life than deal with his family ever again. He was a mechanic. He was living out his dream just like Ara told him to all those years ago.

He wondered if she would be proud of him.

He wasn’t sure. He had done a number on her when they broke up, and despite being friends with Namjoon that did not extend to her.

But now he had this sinking feeling in his stomach as Namjoon looked everywhere but at him. He kept making mindless conversation, asking how Jungkook had been lately and what the shop was like at this time of year. Busy like always, Jungkook had replied. It's rarely ever slow. Namjoon’s fingers gripped his coffee cup, tightening and loosening on a never ending loop making the plastic dent and creak with each squeeze.

“What are you really here for?” Jungkook couldn’t take it anymore. It wasn’t like Namjoon to be nervous. Sometimes he was careful, but never like this.

Namjoon appeared to pale, lips tense as he studied the coffee he’s been staring at for the past twenty minutes. “Me and Ara have been together for a long time,” he said finally.

They had. About eight years, although while in college Namjoon and Ara had broken up for a few months. During that time Jungkook thought about approaching her again, but then they got back together again leaving Jungkook feeling as if he had missed his shot.

“We’ve graduated now, and I’ve gotten my masters and a steady job,” Namjoon continued.

“Sorry about missing your graduation,” Jungkook said, truly meaning it. He had procrastinated asking for time off and by the time he did request it his boss said it was too late.

Namjoon brushed him off. “That was a year ago. It doesn’t matter. I got your card in the mail anyhow.” His throat bobbed, finally meeting his gaze. “I have something to tell you, but I don’t know how you’re going to take it.”

Jungkook gritted his teeth, taking a swift breath in with his jaw clenched causing a whistle as the air was through his teeth. “Just say it.”

“I’m going to ask Ara to marry me.”

“No.”

The words came out before he could fully comprehend what Namjoon told him. He wanted to believe that he heard wrong, that Namjoon wasn’t here to tell him about their pending marriage because Jungkook had no doubt Ara would say yes. She was completely in love with the guy.

Jungkook didn’t know why he couldn’t get over Ara. Irene told him to date other people, that there are a lot of choices out there if he only tried. His only problem was every time he did he compared them to Ara. There was only one Ara though, and when he did that everyone would always come up less if that was his standard. He knew this. Everyone did, but he couldn’t stop. It was strange he befriended the one person that held Ara’s heart. It was strange Namjoon had done so much for him when he knew Jungkook was the reason for Ara crying all those years ago.

Kim Namjoon only saw Jeon Jungkook at his worst points in life, and nothing more. Namjoon had come in the middle of the night when Jungkook was lost, feeling as if the world was swallowing him and