Did he just wink at me? What does that mean? Does he like me? Do I have a chance with him...? Why in the hell am I falling for a guy when I’m a guy myself?

 

This is the biggest question of all, and one I’m not sure I want answered.

---

 

 

Immediately after introducing himself, he then turns to the ice cream girl. “Hey, sweetie, what brings you here?” His voice is so silky and I briefly imagine him calling me sweetie.

 

“Hyuk, don’t be silly,” the girl replies, giggling, “you asked me to come here!” I watch her shyly cover and smile with her eyes. Then, I suddenly remember that I never even asked her her name. When I met her, both times now, all I could think of was him. “Hyuk, I'm thirsty could you get me something to drink?” The girl asks, prettily batting her eyelashes.

 

“Sure. Pop, juice, or alcohol?” My Hyukjae asks the girl.

 

Huh...? I think I just said something ridiculous as hell. Did I just say ‘My Hyukjae?’ ‘My?’ When the hell did he become mine?! I sound like some crazy stalker… I need to leave.

 

Frustrated with my own stupidity, I begin to silently slink away from the close duo, but before I can get anywhere, I feel someone grab my arm. “Where are you going?” The ice cream lady asks me, hand still gripping my arm. “Leaving so soon? I didn't get to introduce myself.”

 

Oh, I remember, I still didn't give a care to ask her name. “Oh, w-well, I'm a little tired.” I lie unsteadily. I don't want to stay because for some reason... I don't want to sit back and watch the man that I’ve somehow become obsessed with be all over her.

 

“Let me introduce myself properly. My name is Jessica, Sica for short.” I’m told, and I produce a wan smile and take her hand in mine. “Oh, nice to meet you.” I say.

 

“Hey, stop making a move on my date.” That voice, that sweet and y voice demands from just behind me, and I damn near faint.

 

“Ah, n-no I—I'm just—”

 

“Calm down, man, I was just joking.” Hyukjae says, laughing. He puts out his hand and hands me a drink which excites me to no end. He brought me a drink, too! I shout inwardly.

 

I'm never letting this drink go.

 

“Um... Donghae? Hey, Donghae, are you alright?”

 

I had taken a sip of my drink and almost spit it out. Alcohol. I don't even drink, but I don't want to look like a wuss, so I take another slow sip and answer, “I'm fine.” I croak. “Thanks for the drink.”

 

“You're welcome. How about we hang out one day? Here, give me your phone.”

 

Without thinking, I pull out my phone and hand it over. What does he want with my phone? Is he going to take a picture of himself? The thought gets me excited. Please, oh-freaking-pretty please take a picture of yourself and set it as my wallpaper!

 

“Here you go, Donghae, give me a call, okay?” Hyukjae gives me back my phone, smiles, and taps a friendly touch on my shoulder. “I have to get going. Give me a call when you get the chance.”

 

“O-Okay--”

 

“Oppa, I'm coming with you!” Sica hurriedly informs Hyukjae and prepares herself to leave.

 

And I’m just standing here beside the wall thinking, ‘Oppa?’ How dare she call my Hyukjae 'oppa'... He's mine.

 

Wait, whose?! DONGHAE YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HIM. Get a grip! I scream at myself. Why did I have to walk past him last week? I want him so badly and I don't even know why. This is unbearable.

 

“Oh, by the way, Donghae, I love your accent.” Hyukjae smiled at me with the most unbelievable smile. He has a gummy smile that could melt the coldest heart, and my heart is in no way cold.

 

I think I just died.

 

And wait, did he just give me his number, ask me out on a date – okay, maybe not a date, but that's what I'll think – and tell me he loves my accent?? Yes. Yes, he did. If there was ever a time a non-drinker needed a drink, it would be now.

 

As I watch from afar Hyukjae walk out the front door with Jessica, I wonder why he had to leave so quickly when he had just arrived. I put down the drink that Hyukjae gave me -- it was so painful to do. I just want to hold on to that drink because he touched it and brought it just for me.

 

I laugh at myself and think with a disappointed head shake, Hae you are really going insane. But still, he reminds me of someone, but who? I just can't put my finger on it.

 

Three hours later, Sungmin hyung announces that he is ready to go. I’m actually so happy because ever since Hyukjae left, I’ve been bored as hell, and to be honest, I missed him during the party.

 

Crazy, huh?

 

“Hey, Donghae, after I drop you off at home I'm going to stay the night with a friend, okay? You'll be alright?” Sungmin hyung asks as we drive back home.

 

Sungmin hyung and I are living together for the time being and in another five weeks, I’ll be going back to Mokpo. I was just sent out here for two months to stay with him because my mom and dad said I needed “a vacation” and they thought Sungmin hyung’s place would be best since he lives alone.

 

They also claimed I was moping around the house looking like some kind of zombie. Who, me? I'm too damned handsome to be a zombie. Sheesh.

 

Anyways, I can't help it that I met someone so beautiful and y that night at a nightclub my friends, Siwon and Henry, dragged me to. Against my will. She was perfect, even if she was slightly taller than me.

 

I think it had to be the high heels she was wearing. I’m not that short, am I?

 

Anyway, she danced so beautifully, had long blonde hair and a y, slender body that fit in my arms perfectly. Even her plump and pouty lips were y as hell. So, I approached her bravely that night.

 

I'm usually not like that, but she brought out a daring, bad boy in me that I wasn’t even aware of, and when I reached her, I slowly grazed my lips against her ear and whispered, “Hey, Mamacita... Ayayayaya.”

 

I had heard that on the radio some days before and I couldn’t forget the catchy tune. Using it as a pick-up line wasn’t what I’d planned, but it worked out anyway.

 

She was slightly drunk, but I didn't care because she was just perfect. Even though I didn't drink, I stole a quick peck from her pouty lips which seemed so inviting and delicious. I just couldn't help myself. Hell, if you saw her dancing like that, you would be thinking the same thing.

 

Don't judge me.

 

So, after the quick peck for which I received a lazy smile in response, I got the courage to ask for her number. To my surprise, she now smiled beautifully and gave it to me; no hesitation.

 

I actually couldn't believe my luck! I wasn't gonna go out to the club that night. I literally kicked and screamed the whole way there, slapping Siwon in the nose a couple times and kicking Henry in the shins. I was suddenly so happy they brought me here.

 

I called her a week later when I’d gathered up enough courage to ask her out on a date. She agreed and we went out a few times. Those were some of the best days of my life. The girl was an actual angel, her smile radiant and her personality addictive.

 

I was shocked when one day she dropped a letter into my mailbox telling me she had fun and really liked me. But we had to stop seeing each other.

 

I'm so sorry, Donghae! ~ Your friend forever, Eunhyuk.

 

Actually, to simply say I was shocked is an understatement. I tried calling her over and over again for weeks after she disappeared out of my life, but she’d never even answer my texts. I know she read them all because they showed that they’d been opened! So, for eight months, I was “zombie-like,” apparently.

 

“Donghae, I asked if you’ll be alright here alone. If not, I can stay or call a friend.” Min hyung repeats and I just nod my head even though I hate being alone. I don’t want to ruin his night.

 

“Go ahead, hyung, I'll be okay.” I said, mumbling unconvincingly, trying to appear confident. I think Min hyung notices, though, because after I stop talking, he pulls out his phone and texts someone really quickly.

 

“Hyung, I said I'll be fine, I promise. Please don't back out of your plans just to babysit me.” I say hurriedly.

 

He just smiles and shakes his head, “I'm still going. I just asked my friend to come and keep you company. He's really nice. A little flirty, but nice. I think it's because he's a DJ and he's being hit on every few minutes. Or he's the one hitting on someone… Whatever, he’s just nice.” Min hyung says, smiling with a cute chuckle.

 

I pout because I don't want some unknown Casanova-person spending the night with me. Besides, I have some Hyukjae day- and night-dreaming to do. With him taking up all of my (mental) time, I don't have time for anything or anyone else!

 

But, I simply nod my head, anyway, because I didn't want my cousin to worry about me.

 

At 9:43pm, the doorbell rings just two minutes after Sungmin hyung leaves the house.

 

I sigh, irked that I didn't even get a chance to start dreaming about that fine Hyukjae yet. Maybe I can tell the thought-blocker to go home. I don't NEED a babysitter!

 

Determined, angry, and Hyukjae-deprived, I throw the door open, ready to order the person on the other side to leave, when, instead my jaw drops open and I’m just left there standing and staring like an actual .

 

Standing in front of me is my real-life daydream. He stands there looking like a dazzling prince with his big, gummy smile already gracing his face. I am literally drooling. I’m drooling and I can’t even do anything about it. I need to stop drooling…

 

Damn it, Donghae!

 

After I finally wipe the drool off my mouth, I shakingly invite him in. I try doing it in a hurry, especially since the smile had slipped off his face and he’s looking at me extremely confused.

 

I realize that I’ve actually been staring, utterly slack-jawed for quite some time.

 

He comes inside after I step aside for him to enter. I shut and lock the door behind him. “Please, have a seat on the couch... Would you like something to drink?” I ask, finding my voice after an awkward three-second silence.

 

“Well… Do you have some orange juice and vodka?” He asks, a crooked smile playing on his features.

 

My face grows a bit hot and I immediately nod. A drink sounds good right now. I should have some too. Although I don't drink.

 

I hurry to the kitchen to make us some drinks, but first, I have to slow down my heartbeat. So, I lean up against the counter and try to control my breathing. Meanwhile, thoughts speed through my mind like the wind: Why does it have to be him and how does he know my hyung? Plus, why, oh WHY does he have to be wearing those tight ripped jeans that so nicely hug that heavenly-shaped ? Ohmygawd, I think I'm going to have a heart attack.

 

I do a short hee-hee-hoo breathing exercise to collect myself before start preparing the drinks. When I re-enter the living room, Hyukjae has his back to me while looking through some of hyung's video games.

 

He seems very comfortable here. I can’t help but wonder if he’s been here before.

 

“He-Here's your drink.” I say, handing the vodka-orange-juice mix to him. He turns around with that award-winning smile on his face. Hell, I can actually see him winning the best smile worldwide easily. While he takes the glass I offer, his finger tips graze over mine in a manner much too slow for me to handle.

 

My heartbeat triple-beats and holy hell, I almost drop both our drinks. Pull yourself together, Donghae! I scold myself. I force myself to fight away the tremble that’s flowing upward through my body and I slap on my best I’m-totally-not-daydreaming-about-mad-making-out-with-you-right-now smile.

 

Instead, I dare to ask, “So, how do you know Sungmin hyung?” We’re sitting side-by-side on the couch. Hyukjae has his drink in one hand and two video games in the other, checking them out.

 

He laughs, “I've known Minnie for about five years now.” He answers with a smile and a gleam in his eyes that almost sends me spiraling backward into the cushions.

 

those eyes...

 

“He’s good friends with my close coworker and best friend, Seungri. He also has a crush on Yoona, another friend of mine. I think that's whose house he's going over to right now, if I'm not mistaken. He said he’ll be staying the night even though he doesn't get along too well with her brother, Kyuhyun.” Hyukjae suddenly begins cackling, “Kyuhyun is an evil er that loves to pick with Minnie all the time. Sometimes I think he may have a crush on him. Crazy, huh?”

 

He finishes his long answer while shaking his head before taking a long sip of his drink. I just sit there with my mouth agape, taking in all of the information I was just fed. “Ah... I see.” I say after a while.

 

“So what brings you here from Mokpo? Oh yeah, your cousin told me where you are from.” Hyukjae explains before I can ask him. I wonder, Did he ask about me? Does he like me too? CanIgethiminbedtonight???

 

Hey! What the hell, Donghae?! I scold myself again. Get yourself together.

 

I eventually assume that maybe Sungmin hyung just told him about me because they know each other. I mean, it’s pretty normal now that I think about it. “Well, apparently I was like a lovesick zombie so I was sent out here.” I respond without thought as to why I’m telling a stranger about my problems.

 

LOL how funny…

 

“Ah... So love brought you this way! So, who is she? Or maybe it’s a he? Are you still in love?” Hyukjae asked me with a raised eyebrow. I wave off his raised eyebrow as an annoying curiosity thing playful guys do.

 

“Yes… Well, no. I’m not in love anymore since, I mean, I only loved her for a month. I just thought she was truly the one for me.” I withhold Eunhyuk’s name in my answer. This guy doesn’t need to know everything about me.

 

“But what would happen if you saw her again? What would you do?” He starts a low chuckle that turns into a full-on laugh as he says, “I bet you'd start drooling!”

 

I’m confused. Is he teasing me? And why is he so concerned with my love life in the first place? I don’t think people usually ask so many questions about things like this.

 

Anyway, my real reason is that I can’t feel the same way about Eunhyuk because I’m in love with someone else now - but I can’t just be going around saying stuff like that, now can I? I”m also starting to feel like I fall in love too easily…

 

“Yah... Donghae!” Oh, I was daydreaming again. Why would I daydream about a man who’s sitting right next to me? I'm hopeless.

 

“Ha ha,” I chuckle awkwardly, avoiding his eyes, “sorry about that. Uh, anyways, I honestly don't know what I would do. I'd probably ask why she left me. I always wonder if I wasn’t enough for her, or if I was too boring. Did she really even love me? Not that I still have feelings for her or anything. I'm just curious.” I finish that last bit in a rush. I don’t want Hyukjae to think that I'm still longing for her.

 

As if he would care...

 

Immediately after answering, I find my eyes drawn helplessly to his perfect, fluffy, pillow-like, plump lips with an unexplainable dribble of drool slipping out of the corner of my mouth. I really can’t control my own bodily functions around gorgeous people! I need help.

 

I make no sudden movements until he turns his head to take another swig of his drink. At that moment, I swipe a quick hand across my lips in effort to free myself from any embarrassment. Then, I brace myself to ask the one question I am so damn afraid but eager to know.

 

“Soooooo, H-Hyukjae... Do—Do you h-have a girlfriend?” I stutter the words like a lovesick idiot who can't speak properly. Way to go, Donghae. If he didn’t know you liked him before, he certainly knows now... My heart beats out of my chest while I wait for his answer.

 

“No, Donghae, I don't.” He answers and puts his head down. I could swear I saw a blush briefly color his cheeks, but the movement is so fast I miss it. “Okay, enough of this. Let's play a game.” Hyukjae says, abruptly changing the subject.

 

While he moves to better position himself on the couch, I’m sitting dumbfounded thinking to myself: Is he shy or something? I fight back a giggle. He is so damn cute.

 

Hyukjae waves two games around in front of my face. The first thing I realize is that Eunhyuk liked playing those same games. I’m not much of a gamer, so she challenged and beat me all the time. “So Hae, what will it be? Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit or Grand Theft Auto 5?” Hyukjae asks me with a dorky smile while he shakes the Need for Speed game suggestively so I know it’s the one he really wants to play.

 

It’s cute. It is so cute how Hyukjae acts.

 

But I sit there frozen in shock with my mouth hanging open. D-Did he j-just c-call me H-Hae?

 

He sounded just like Eunhyuk, only his voice was deeper and more masculine. But, his lips. The way my name formed around his mouth is the exact same way it looked when Eunhyuk had always said my name. It gave me chills, which I have now.

 

And to make matters ing worse, Eunhyuk told me that Need For Speed was her favorite game of all time.

 

It's as if Hyukjae is a muthering handsome clone of Eunhyuk.

 

Overcome with a desire to test Hyukjae, I point to Grand Theft Auto and can you believe what he did? HE IN’ POUTED, like, holy-ing-beautiful.

 

“Awe, but I wanted to play this one!” He shoves Eunhyuk’s favorite game in my face, whining now through his still-pouty lips.

 

“Okay, okay!” I laughing, giving in to his cuteness. I still have a couple more questions for him because they’re bothering the hell out of me, but I won't ask. Not now, anyway. Hyukjae jumps around like a little kid, and I am utterly shocked because I didn’t know he could be this damn adorable.

 

Or should I say, he was adorable, until he won the damn game. After losing about 6 times, drinking 2 more drinks, and cursing out Hyukjae who is a very bad and very loud winner, we decide to call it a night.

 

“So, Donghae, where do I sleep? I'll be alright on the couch if there’s nowhere else.” Hyukjae asks me and I want to tell him: With me if you wanna make my daydreams come true.

 

I have to bite my bottom lip to suppress the excited moan that wants to come out just thinking about the two of us in bed together. I take a deep breath and answer, “I'll sleep on the couch and you can take my bed.”

 

He rejects my offer with a shake of his head, “I’ll sleep here.” He says, patting the couch. I shrug, trying to hide my disappointment, and tell him I’ll be back with a blanket and a pillow.

 

“Uh, Donghae, do you have something I could wear to sleep?” He asks as soon as I return. I tell him to follow me to my room where I pick out 2 sets of fish-printed pajamas from my dresser drawer.

 

Once we have them on and I get a good look at the both of us together, I laugh inwardly and feel a light fluttering in my chest. We look like a fishy couple, I think to myself.

 

I give Hyukjae an uber-brief tour, “The bathroom is over there.” I say, pointing to the bathroom that's connected to my bedroom. Hyukjae nods his head only once and goes inside, leaving me to stare a the closed door wondering what he would look like without clothes on. And when I hear the shower turn on, I nearly come undone picturing the hot water running down his body.

 

I’m basically rocking back and forth on my feet when I hear the shower curtain draw back and I assume Hyukjae’s entering the shower now. I hurry to my bed and lie down before I break my head open on a dizzy fall.

 

I need to get a grip.

 

Twenty minutes later, I hear the bathroom door open and out steps a picture of perfection. Hyukjae is less than fully dressed; his pajama shirt is ed and hanging open and I get an astonishing view of his highly defined abs. His hair is dripping everywhere and beads of water run down his neck and further and further down until they escape into his pajama bottoms.

 

I track his whole body with my eyes and, after I finish very blatantly checking him out, I meet his eyes and gasp when I see a very satisfied smirk curling his lips. My face turns so red I imagine it looks like a toddler scribbled on me with a crayon.

 

Did... Hyukjae come out of the bathroom like that on purpose???

 

“The bathroom's all yours.” He says in a deep, playful voice, still smirking, and he walks out of my room and into the living room. I stare after him with an embarrassed look stuck on my face until I find interest in the shower and hurry in.

 

While the water pours over my body, I imagine how Hyukjae must have looked and felt in the shower. The images get me so excited I have to turn the water to cold and freeze my off until I am calm again.

 

Lying in bed minutes later, I drift into a slow and deep sleep while thinking about the opened-shirt, dampened-haired man in the other room.

 

Man, I need to get laid.