[The featured lyrics are from the song "Impostor" by RED]

It’s coming undone – this world that I made

I feel it descending now

Changkyun gathered his graphite grey sling pouch bag that he had propped against the wall near the entrance shortly beforehand, bending down slightly as he put on his high-top sneakers before hoisting the thin strap upwards and over his right shoulder just as he was in the process of walking out of the front door. He took his time to gently shut it close with the palm of his hand to minimise the noise as much as possible, checking to ensure that the door was indeed locked by subtly twisting the doorknob twice before zipping up one of the front pockets that accommodated his wallet.

It was one of the safety precautions in which his father had taught both his brother and himself back when they lived in the United States, one among a few others which he still put to practical use on a daily day-to-day basis. Their manager was reasonably adamant that they use number pads instead of the magnetic keys as prime entry – right after they had moved into the dorm – substantially to prevent such potential predicaments where one of the members getting locked out of the dorm because they had been recklessly negligent and ended up misplacing their keys, and there was no one inside who could let them in.

It made him felt like as though the management had entrusted him to become a guardian to a group of children instead of becoming a manager to young adults, as he happened to hear the man's good-natured comment towards one of their stylists in the waiting room recently, and the lady was soon driven into a fit of exuberant laughter when he took on such an indignant expression on his face afterwards. It was not even an exaggeration on Changkyun's part that he, himself, had such a difficulty in his attempt to maintain an inscrutable facade that beads of cold sweat started to exude from his pores around his forehead although the room they were in was well-equipped with air-conditioning.

The story itself was already comical on its own solely due to its accuracy and validity, but Changkyun could also recollect one immediate example which further accentuated the truth in the manager's claim and he felt like chortling in embarrassment as much as he wanted to grimace at the same time, it was that painful and cringe-worthy to think about. In their defense, he guessed, that the manager did say to come to him if they needed anything (he used to live next door for better convenience) – except that their situation involved bugs and Hyunwoo was not around to deal with it himself – and so they were left with limited alternatives, more or less, if they had also ruled him out.

Ah, good times.

It was still dark outside, Changkyun contemplated as he took a quick look at the sky above, a quarter to 6 A.M. last he checked – give or take a few minutes – far ahead of time for most people from their community to be out and about and it was quite assuredly not the most quintessential option in regards of safety, but he had gotten used to leaving early with at least one of his dormmates almost immediately after adapting to his daily routine as a trainee previously under Special K Entertainment. He had been doing it for years now that it would not feel right should he fail to go through with it, no matter what the reason might be.

Being a Special K trainee, their routine officially began only after sunrise, logically speaking of course, but he had always preferred to be as early as possible just so he could occupy one of the rooms at the end of the less crowded hallways whenever he had extra time to spare to practice by himself without a dance instructor. His dancing lessons, for example, were held after school session was over therefore he tended to bring his backpack as well as his school uniform along to the practice room in the morning so he could change just in time for him to attend his first class. It was less complicated for him that way and the possibility of him being late was rather slim.

It never really posed a problem for him or other trainees back then due to the fact that the distance between the living quarters and the company's building was just a little under fifteen minutes by walking plus there were a few convenience stores nearby should they wish to grab something light on the way. Being a high school student with a strong fascination for junk food and snacks, Changkyun had obviously and most definitely taken advantage of the situation precisely from the perspective that it was only obligatory for trainees to go on a strict diet which then followed by intense exercise regimen after their debut had been finalised and confirmed by the management.

Regardless of that, it was still highly encouraged for them to start out as early as possible when it comes to taking care of their appearances even without them being prompted to do so, with the rationale behind this being the fact that trainees were given strict and rigorous schedules when it comes to practice (with slight variation between adolescents and adults to suit young trainees' formal educational needs and timetable) which left them struggling to live up to the expectations from the management and not lag behind others in the process; they could not afford to let their overall performance being profoundly affected if they had trouble keeping up and thus ruining their chance to debut.

Now that he was enlisted under Starship Entertainment and had become a trainee for two years prior to NO.MERCY, some changes were inevitable and a few instantaneous adjustments had to be made on his part whereas everything else commonly remained the same. For instance, while they were still compelled to learn and grow as much as possible within a certain period of time, it was not to the point where the pressure to meet major requirements was beyond overwhelming for the trainees. On the other hand, it took him much longer to arrive at their agency building should he choose to go there by foot, around half an hour to forty-five minutes depending on the route he would be taking.

It had been exhausting at first since he was still quite unconversant with the surrounding area but after awhile, he did find himself taking pleasure in the frequent promenade particularly at this hour where the main roads would be generally void of cars except for an occasional few that would pass him by, genuinely cherishing moments like this where he could just breathe a lungful of fresh air first thing in the morning and savour the little things in life that seem almost inconsequential amidst their strenuous everyday activities – for awhile at the very least, until the reality soon becomes impossibly hard to ignore and he would have to face it once more.

Changkyun habitually reached out a hand to tentatively hold onto the railing as he was walking down the flight of narrow and steep concrete stairs, taking care to being mindful of his each and every languid step due to the rather dim lighting even though for the most part, he did have the tendency to move on autopilot while his mind was elsewhere. It was one of those days where he just felt like taking the stairs instead of the elevator as he normally would, all the while resting his expression into one of dull and apathetic, not allowing even a small twitch of his facial muscle to serve as a revealing indication of what was going on in his mind as well as his deep-rooted emotional state.

The rock music with medium slow tempo from the earbuds he had been wearing – the pair which he took from his bed earlier before leaving – was loud enough for the poetic and symbolic lyrics to echo in his head, harmonising perfectly with the quiescent atmosphere which helped to get him into the preferential mindset as well as invigorate himself mentally in preparation for the hours of intensified practice he would be having later on. Not to mention that it was also an immense comfort in mitigating some of his nerves, enough so that he could properly focus on what he was doing more so than the thoughts that were plaguing his consciousness.

He was never really someone who enjoys rock music often, if he was being thoroughly and utterly honest, but he really did fall in love with the artistry of one particular American rock band the first time he listened to their introductory album – simply because the music they created was so wonderfully expressive and entrancing that he could not help it but appreciate such a piece of artwork. The fact that their lyrics were being so cleverly put together with such phenomenal quality also had further cemented his interest for the band's ever-changing and promising musical career ahead of them.

Three years of living abroad in Boston due to his father's line of work had truly broaden his mind on the prospect of the extensive spectrum of music as well as amplifying his comparatively limited vocabulary at the time, and his mother's unconditional support and encouragement on his decision to attend a music academy in the middle of his second year after he had dropped out of a science high school, has eventually led to his passion for music being ignited over the years; it was the push he needed in order to become part of the music industry. For him, it was not the fame that mattered, it was more about the recognition as well as the stories he wished to be able to depict through music and for the listeners to interpret them in their own way.

He had to admit, to himself at least, that it would have given an oddly peculiar impression considering his position in Monsta X as one of the rappers to have an appeal for rock music – on the account that both genres have little to nothing to do with one another – hence why he had always kept that little information to himself, in spite of the fact that the aforementioned genre admittedly has had positively impacted his own newly-built career as a result. He was not ashamed nor embarrassed of his musical taste, music is music leaving aside the differences, but he did wonder how his group members would take it if they knew.

Changkyun briefly paused in his tracks as soon as he was approaching an intersection, attentively looking both ways before crossing the street, making sure to remain close to the pedestrian sidewalk he strode ahead. In retrospect, it was only a matter of chance that he even remembered to leave a small note on the refrigerator by placing one of the small round magnets that they have around on top of it – informing his group members of his whereabouts and his own estimation in regards to when he would be coming back just in case they needed him for anything – on the ground that no one in their group had their phone with them which made communication slightly difficult.

Despite the unanimous decision to hand over their phones to the manager for safekeeping, with the purpose to impel them to focus on their career and making music for now until after their notable debut appearances, their manager had actually done them a small favour from time to time by allowing them to phone home and talk to their respective family for at least five minutes; twice a month at worst – enough that it made the ordeal a little more bearable regardless of the heavy tension that was present in the air especially when one or two members would get homesick at a time.

Albeit the fact that their group was informed beforehand that the management have had their morning schedules cleared for two days in a row so that they could attain some much-needed rest without halting their group activities completely, Changkyun thought that it would do him good to spend at least half of the time on both dance and vocal practice if possible in order to further ameliorate his footwork for their debut EP as well as going over his lines for the remaining hours so that the rap flow would sound smooth to the ears; hence why he had decided on a cold shower to ensure that his senses were properly stimulated after another restless night that had kept him awake.

He was being exceptionally careful with his movements as he made his way into the room earlier – thanking the heavens that no one thought to shut the door all the way closed – halting himself at the slightest noise in fear that it would jolt the other members who, aside from the infrequent rustling and incoherent mumbles, were still soundly asleep. It was not an easy feat to plan his steps blindly in the dark, he noted, but it did help to make matters easier when he had memorised the layout of the room by heart to navigate around without bumping into things while his eyes slowly began to adapt accordingly; to an extent where he could somewhat identify some of the objects in the room, specifically the members' wayward limbs that were hanging off from the