SinB’s POV

I tapped aimlessly on the next animal video that was recommended to me. The honey badger. One of the most badass animals ever. Normally a video like this would have lifted my mood, it would have made me forget about the worries I had. But not this time.

Letting out a deep sigh, I watched as the honey badger fearlessly stood up against its opponent and got ready for a fight of life or death.

Death. There was this word again. The fight against death. A fight that Sojung’s abeonim was about to lose. Or unofficially already had lost and was only waiting for the referee to call it.

I had never lost anyone to death before. At least not someone who was not of an old age and had lived a long, fulfilling life. That made it somehow more acceptable. Of course it was still sad and you would have wanted them to live even longer, but there was always the consolation, this comforting thought, that they had at least spent a long time on this world and lived their life.

Sojung’s abeonim was in his 50s, however. That was not a lifetime worth of experiences and memories. Especially not since it went against every statistic I found on the subject. South Korea had one of the highest life expectancies in the world and it was said to jump to the top of the list in future. Men were said to have a life expectancy of about 79 years. 79 years. Not 50.

I didn’t know why, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it. It made me angry. It made me furious that someone like Sojung-unnie’s abeonim had to die because medicine had reached its limits. After all this fighting against his illness, the doctors had eventually given up. They had told Sojung-unnie and her family how sorry they were, but that there was nothing they could do anymore. Except to wait until abeonim’s heart would give its last beat.

I frowned at the iPad in my hands and closed the video before throwing it into a corner of my bed. Would losing her appa change Sojung-unnie? How badly would she be affected by the loss? How was she doing right now? Was she sitting next to his hospital bed, waiting for the inevitable to happen? It must be excruciating. Not knowing how long you still had with your loved-one…

I didn’t know how to help or how to act. I had always a loving yet teasing relationship with our leader, we were like fire and water, Tom and Jerry. We were constantly bickering yet always knew that we didn’t mean the words we would say to each other – just like I always imagined real sisters would. I wasn’t that good in expressing my feelings, but with Sojung-unnie I had found an easy way to show my affection that didn’t make me embarrassed. And she had understood it.

There were countless of times when Sojung-unnie had been there for me, when she had reassured and motivated me. Over the years I had even started to warm up and was able to show my affection in a different more normal kind thanks to my members. But I would have never given up on bickering with my leader-unnie.

“Eunbi-yaaa? Hellooo, is anyone home?”

I turned my head to the side and almost fell off the bed when I saw Yerin-unnie only centimeters away from my face. “Holy – don’t do that!”

Yerin-unnie raised her eyebrows. “I knocked on your door, I called your name for about a dozen times and yet no answer. I was this close of getting a bucket full of water. Or Eunha. Either would have worked fine.”

I furrowed my brow in confusion. How could I not have heard any of that? “I… I guess I didn’t hear you? I must have totally spaced out. I’m sorry, Unnie.”

“You seemed to be deep in thought. Is everything okay?” Yerin-unnie’s eyes bored into my own and it almost felt as if she was trying to look straight into my soul. “I noticed you were a bit off this morning. The girls said that you went straight into your bedroom after practice and haven’t really come out.”

“So?” I looked away. “You know that I sometimes enjoy my space, Unnie. Has Sojung-unnie messaged you or anything? Do you know how she’s doing?”

Yerin-unnie sighed quietly. “Not yet, and I don’t think she will anytime soon. She’s… dealing with it, I suppose. Coming to terms with it. Saying her last goodbye.”

I heard the slight quiver in Yerin-unnie’s voice as she spoke the last sentence and took her hand. She cleared .

“But she will make it,” Yerin-unnie continued as if nothing had happened. “She’s strong. And we will be there when she comes back.”

“But how?” I whispered, finally meeting her eyes again. It took all of my courage to ask. “How can we be there for her? What do you say to someone who lost their parent this early? What do you do? What if you say the wrong thing and only make it worse?”

I had anticipated many reactions, but certainly not Yerin-unnie’s warm smile.

“Your presence will be enough, Eunbi-ya. Don’t treat her differently. Don’t treat her like she’s something that can easily break. Try to make her smile, to make her laugh. Show her your crazy animal videos and geek out over Harry Potter –”

“I’m not a geek and those things are cool, okay?!”

Yerin chuckled and gave me a nod. “My point is; just be yourself. That will be enough. We’re basically family and sometimes our presence and feeling our unconditional love for each other is just what we need in difficult times.”

“Well, I am pretty awesome,” I joked dryly. Before I could react, Yerin-unnie leaned in and pecked my cheek, Playfully grimacing and trying hard not to smile, I put some distance between us. “Unnie!”

Her facial expression was purely innocent, but I saw the mischievous glint in her eyes. That unnie. She wasn’t fooling anyone. “What? I was just agreeing with you!”

“At least it was only one kiss on the cheek this time, I guess.” A smirk started to form on Yerin-unnie’s lips and I quickly jumped off the bed. “No, no! Stay away from me!”

“What? I haven’t done anything!”

“Yet! You haven’t done anything yet!”

“What’s all this screaming about?” Yewon was standing in the doorway, her eyes darting between the two of us. “Everything okay?”

“SinB refuses to accept my love,” Yerin-unnie dramatically declared and laid a hand on where her heart was. “I feel broken. The world has turned gray. All the colors vanished. Every sound has disappeared, –”

“If the next basic sense you’ll use as an example is taste, Unnie, I’d think about it,” Yewon interrupted her with a giggle. “Pizza is here. I wanted to get you two.”

“Pizza?” Yerin-unnie stared at Yewon as if she had just announced world peace. “Nevermind, I’m cured! Last one in the kitchen is gonna do the dishes, Maknaes!”

With a loud laugh, she sprinted past Yewon and I. It only took a second for me to register her words and I quickly followed. I did not want to do the dishes. Especially not since I remembered the amount.

Yewon whined and I could hear the sound of a foot stomping on the ground. “That’s unfair! I was in the kitchen before you two!”

“ to be you!” I called over my shoulder, not bothering to suppress my laugh anymore.

As I reached the kitchen, I saw how Eunha-unnie set the plates and glasses on the table while Yerin-unnie took out some juice and water out of the fridge. Yuna-unnie had set the pizzas in the middle of the table and was trying to decide which playlist was the most suitable for dinner.

Even though there was one person noticeably missing in this picture, it looked as homey and comforting as it always had. The weight on my chest lifted a little. Maybe it would be okay. Yerin-unnie was right. Along the years we had become a family. And sometimes just being surrounded by the love of your family was enough to heal any wounds over time.