The studio was plunged into total darkness, if it wasn’t for the moon making its soft white light go through the window-wall. It was high in the sky, not full yet but in its waxing gibbous, and Kibum was staring at it, one of his legs bent with his foot on the chair, elbows resting on his knee. 

 

In front of him, empty on the table, was a cup that was once filled with a hot herbal tea to help him to sleep. He had more and more difficulties to fall asleep lately although he was busy all day long at university and so, extremely tired. His third year of applied arts had started a few months ago and Kibum was doing his best to handle his classes and his thesis at a same time.

 

The year before, his subject about male bodies had drawn his head teacher’s attention and thanks to his boyfriend, he was able to illustrate his thesis a lot. Jonghyun’s body was really the most perfect he had even sketched, drawn, painted… because of his flaws and small particularities only him could see when they were together as far as their private life was concerned.

 

His moles, the cute and faded stretch marks on his thighs, also these two small holes on the small of his back that looked like dimples, and his subtle yet meaningful tattoos… These were only details but it was what made his body unique, one of a kind. Drawing it had ended up relaxing Kibum after a long day, but it was more difficult to remain faithful to this habit since Jonghyun had ended his studies and had become a literature teacher.

 

It was the first year of his professional life and he had had the opportunity to accept a position in a university as the teacher of three optional class : Korean, Japanese and English literatures. Even though he was still young, the post had been left empty for more than three years and the school was starting to suffer from it, with less students increasing their grades.

 

Jonghyun had jumped at the chance and had gone to two interviews with the university’s headteacher to prove his worth. He was well aware that he had been chosen more because the school was in need than for his degree, thesis and motivation, but he was happy to have this job. As he often said, being a teacher allowed you to keep learning, you never stopped learning to teach better.

 

He was giving three classes a week, each one lasting four hours in a row. It wasn’t a lot yet the work he had to do beside his lectures was considerable enough to leave him exhausted. Thus, he was having difficulties to free himself for his boyfriend to draw him, and he was feeling guilty because it was as if he was abandoning him.

 

What he didn’t know was that, when he would come to sleep at Kibum’s place, the student would make the most of his insomnias to grab his sketchbook and sketch him. Jonghyun was always sleeping , he felt freer and he was never feeling cold at night even during this cold month of December. Winter was approaching yet the teacher would remain as as when he was born in bed.

 

Kibum turned his head to stare at the figure that started moving on the mattress, and he smiled when his boyfriend changed his position, lying on his stomach with a leg bent and holding his pillow tight. His face was half hidden, only his left profile was noticeable : peaceful, flawless, beautiful. His hair, that he had recently dyed pure platinum blonde, was a bit tangled on the pillow.

 

Natural.

 

Worth a drawing.

 

In silence, the student stood up and brought the chair in his sleeping space. To enlighten Jonghyun’s form, he kindled a few odorless candles and put them on the nightstand and on the second chair he placed next to the bed. It wasn’t a lot of light, but it was enough for the artist to sketch without details, only by supposing things like he loved to do.

 

Soon, Kibum was sitting on his chair, both his feet on the edge of the bed to use his bent legs as a support for his sketchbook. His pencil was running on the paper, tracing, brushing, his thumb was sometimes rubbing it to create shades. It was so relaxing he ended up dozing on his paper, and when he straightened up a bit too strongly, his head hit the wall behind him and he grunted with pain.

 

The sudden noise woke Jonghyun up, who slowly raised his head with his eyes half open. The first thing he saw was the several warm lights around him, and he straightened on his forearms to check what it was. His eyes opened more and more as he noticed the candles, and he finally found his boyfriend, sitting on a chair and rubbing the back of his peach pink hair.

 

 

“You can’t sleep ?” He whispered, his voice hoarse and sleepy as he moved on his side. “What time is it ?”

 

“Almost three in the morning.” Kibum answered. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to wake you up…”

 

“It’s fine… I heard a noise, did you hurt yourself ?”

 

“I hit the wall, nothing serious. I was drawing you.”

 

“Oh… Baby, I’m really sorry I can’t pose for you often, but please don’t use your sleeping time to do that. You need to rest too.”

 

“It’s not like I’m forcing myself to stay awake…”

 

 

Kibum slightly smiled, and the dark circles under his eyes seemed to fade away for a second. He was looking so tired it was making Jonghyun feel worried, but he couldn’t force his boyfriend to sleep… And they were both against sleeping pills. 

 

 

“Come here.”

 

 

The teacher had said the words softly, stretching his arm. Kibum stood up and put his sketchbook on the chair, blowing all candles except one on the nightstand before he climbed on the bed, lying next to his boyfriend. The latter immediately drew him against his body and hugged him tight as the student put his head on his chest.

 

 

“Your insomnias are becoming more regular.” Jonghyun whispered before putting a soft kiss on the pink hair. “Is there something you want to talk about with me ?”

 

“Nothing more than usual. You ?” The student answered. 

 

“I sleep well, but it’s all thanks to my job. I never knew teaching was so tiring.”

 

“I’m tired too. Really, really tired…”

 

 

A sniffing caught the teacher off guard and he slightly moved backwards to make space between his body and Kibum’s. Looking at the latter’s face, he noticed two small tears forming in the corner of his feline eyes, and his heart stung. That was the cruelty of insomnias, being exhausting when the lack of sleep already was. A vicious circle that was difficult to escape from.

 

Before Kibum could rub his wet eyes, Jonghyun’s thumb was softly wiping his threatening tears. The pink haired man looked up to meet his boyfriend’s gentle gaze.

 

 

“I think you’re overwhelmed.” The brunette said, caressing the other’s cheek. “I’m sorry I’m not really able to support you fully, with everything I have to focus on myself… but you know you can tell me everything, right ? Even when I’m not here, you can still call me on the phone, I will always answer.”

 

“I know… but I don’t want to bother you.” Kibum smiled. “You already got tons of things to think about, so I don’t want you to have to make space for your tired and insomniac boyfriend.”

 

“You’re my boyfriend. I will always make space for you, you will always come first.”

 

“And you’re definitely the stupid one in our couple. I can’t wake you up every night when you have to go to work so early in the morning, I can’t, either when you’re in my bed or in yours…”

 

“It’s fine, it’s only for some hours so I can still find another moment to take a nap.”

 

“Jonghyun, please stop. I know you love me, how dear I am to you and how much you wish to cherish me. But you also have to think about yourself, you’re a working man now. I’m still a student, I can’t make you waste the time you must put in preparing your lectures, grading your students, attending your meetings and seminaries… I have to respect that, and you’re the person I respect the most on this planet.”

 

“Are you… worried about me ? Is it what gives you insomnias ?”

 

 

The question escaped so suddenly from Jonghyun’s lips that Kibum stood gaping for a moment. He tried to reply but all he managed to do was sighing as he lowered his eyes ; once again, his so discerning boyfriend had put his finger on the main problem behind his insomnias. Of course he had a lot of work with his thesis, his drawings, his classes… but he had always be able to handle a massive amount fo work thanks to his skills in organisation. 

 

Yet, what he had never thought he would need to add to his organisation, was his boyfriend’s own schedules. Kibum had never been the kind of person to put others’ business before his, but it had all changed when he had started dating Jonghyun. At the time they were still students, it hadn’t hit him, he hadn’t that need to know about the other man’s schedules or any kind of work he had.

 

It had been useful though, since Jonghyun and him could only meet during their lunch times between their respective classes, and outside university when their personal projects wouldn’t interfere with their meetings. Countless times, the student in arts had felt disappointed because his boyfriend had had to go to the library for his own literature thesis, yet he had never let him know about it.

 

And now that himself was facing the mass of work that writing a thesis involved… he understood why Jonghyun used to feel so stressed out, used to be bad-tempered most of the time and to have sleeping troubles. At that time, Kibum didn’t know how bad this last year of studies could affect someone in such a bad way, and even though he had done his best to relax his boyfriend, he must admit that the latter had been a real pain in the sometimes.

 

As if this already burdensome stress wasn’t enough for the pink haired man, he had fallen in this vicious circle of worries : how was Jonghyun ? Was he feeling well in front of his students ? Were all his lectures going well ? Was his voice trembling ? Was he eating enough ? Weren’t his work hours too tiring ? Thus, was he sleeping well ?

 

Too many questions, too many worries… and it had went beyond Kibum’s own life. He was being more worried for his boyfriend’s new life than for his own last year of studies.

 

 

“I shouldn’t be…” He whispered. “You’re an adult now.”

 

“That’s right, I am.” Jonghyun smiled. “And if it can take a weigh off your mind, I’m feeling good with my working life. You really don’t have to worry yourself sick like you do, I’m perfectly fine.”

 

“Please don’t think I don’t trust you enough or something like that…”

 

“Baby, what’s happening ? Do you hear yourself ?”

 

“I’m sorry…”

 

 

Without warning, Kibum started sobbing and searched for his boyfriend’s embrace, burying his face against his neck. Jonghyun raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth with shock, astounded by this sudden reaction. After a second of immobility, he closed his arms around the younger’s body, softly rubbing his back with one hand and his hair with the other one. 

 

He didn’t say a word. He let his boyfriend cry everything he had, waiting for the slight sobs and sniffs to cease by themselves. Between his arms, huddled against him, Kibum was holding on to him, one of his hand never leaving his arm, as his tears were wetting the skin of his neck.

 

Trust issues.

 

The young student was facing trust issues. It was about self trust because of this important last year, and about a serious fear that Jonghyun would cast doubt on his trust towards him.

 

After a moment, the cries ceased and Kibum’s breath came back to normal. His body seemed to relax a bit, as if crying had freed him from at least one heavy weight among so many others. The white haired man pressed a gentle kiss on his boyfriend’s hair and started rocking him in his arms, his lips opening to sing a lullaby.

 

Since he had just woken up, his voice was still a bit hoarse but the more he sang, the more it went clearer. Against him, Kibum slowly but surely relaxed, listening to him like had done so many times. Jonghyun had always sung, for as long as he could remember ; he had never thought about launching a singer career, because singing was his personal hobby, something he would do for himself and his closest friends or family.

 

He had always been like that, keeping his secrets for himself, sharing them with people he deeply trusted. He had revealed his singing skills naturally to Kibum, when they had sung a karaoke together during a drinking party at his home. Even with alcohol, he was singing to perfection, if not better. Drunkenness tends to numb one’s senses, but it had always worked as an advantage to Jonghyun’s singing.

 

Thus, singing had become a routine between the two lovers, the teacher often singing while cooking, showering, or, like in the present case, while trying to make Kibum sleep. And as always, it worked. Soon, the pink haired man was deeply asleep against Jonghyun’s torso, the latter smiling and blowing the candle before joining him in the arms of Morpheus.

 

After a good night’s sleep, he would find a remedy to his boyfriend’s issue. He had to.

 

 

---

 

 

“You seem to be miles away from here, Jjong.”

 

 

Jonghyun blinked before turning his head towards the man who had drawn him out of his thoughts. Sitting opposite him at the university’s self-service restaurant, Jinki was eating his meat and staring at him with concerned eyes.

 

“It’s nothing.” The teacher said, smiling to his colleague. “I was lost in my thoughts.”

 

“I noticed that, you barely touched to your lunch.” Jinki nodded. “It’s already unusual to have you eating with me, but you seem to have troubles.”

 

“I’m sorry. It’s not really me who has troubles, actually. But his troubles are my troubles.”

 

“Ah, so we’re talking about your boyfriend. Kibum, right ? What’s happening with him ? I mean, if you want to talk to me about it. People say I’m a good counselor.”

 

“We’re friends, Jinki, we’re beyond colleagues now so of course I can talk about my problems with you. And it’s somehow simple to explain… Kibum is having trust issues.”

 

“Ouch. That’s bad.”

 

“A good counselor, you said ?”

 

 

His colleague couldn’t help but laugh as he finished his lunch. The university which Jonghyun was teaching in was famous in the area for its specialism in literature and arts. He had met Jinki a few days after the start of the school year, in the staff room, when they had literally bumped into each other as they both wanted to go to the restroom. An awkward meeting, yet it had allowed them to talk more and more after this incident.

 

While Jonghyun was teaching literature, Jinki was more into arts, giving classes related to music. Just like him, he had three classes : history of music, music theory and of course practical classes. Beside that, he was in charge of the university’s orchestra, and his literary colleague would often attend this special course, sitting in one of the hundreds of seats of the auditorium.

 

Even though they weren’t sharing a same speciality, they had found themselves go into partnership for several classes, like for the analysis of songs : it was all about the lyrics’ poetry for Jonghyun and the musicality and instrumental for Jinki. These courses had attracted a lot of students, and they were thinking about joining forces again since both of them also enjoyed doing it.

 

 

“Trust issues are hard to face.” The music teacher said after he wiped his mouth. “Is it new ? Or it’s something regular ?”

 

“It’s new. I’ve never seen him this anxious about his self trust and also about his trust towards me.” Jonghyun confessed, eating a bit of his shrimps. “And we’re together for several years now so it’s kinda new to him and to me, I don’t know how to help him.”

 

“You’re someone who like to talk when there is something wrong, whatever the issue is. Did it not work this time ?”

 

“It’s… complicated. Because what’s also new is that he cries. A lot. He’s often forced to cry himself to sleep, otherwise he just doesn’t sleep. I used to talk a lot with him, but these days I have that weird feeling that by talking, I just make him stress even more.”

 

“I see… Insomnias ?”

 

“Yes, worse than before. When I sleep at his place, I often wake up because I feel he leaves the bed late at night. But when I stay at home… he doesn’t dare to call me. He’s worried about me more than he’s worried about himself.”

 

“That sounds like a deep concern he has… What worries him that much about you ? You don’t really have problems here.”

 

“I don’t, and I try to convince him about it. But he’s stubborn. He’s afraid I may be tired, overwork or not eat enough.”

 

“Well… for the eating part, I must agree. But for the rest… well, it’s your teacher’s job ! He must get used to it because you will always have work to do outside of school.”

 

“Yes… maybe it’s because I’m not living with him, he’s feeling my absence even more than when we were both students. But there is only a year until we move in together…”

 

“Let’s leave, you won’t eat more and people are waiting for tables. We’ll talk about it on our way.”

 

 

Jonghyun nodded and stood up, grabbing his briefcase before following his colleague to drop off his tray on the suited shelves. Soon, they were striding across the university’s long corridors, talking and thinking together and sometimes interrupted by students who had some questions about their next classes or a work’s deadline. 

 

Once they reached the staff room, the literature teacher headed to his locker, getting ready to leave as his day was over. He was planning to go to Kibum’s university’s library, preparing his class about Oscar Wilde’s “The Picture of Dorian Gray” while waiting for him to finish his art classes to take him to dinner. His boyfriend’s tears had really hurt him badly and he wished to show him he had never thought he could trust him less.

 

Jinki was coming back from the restroom when he looked up, and they both sat on the couch to wait for the ring to resound in the entire university, announcing the resumption of lessons. They were seriously discussing Kibum’s issue, the music teacher really involved in the conversation, when something hit him.

 

 

“Wait.” He interrupted Jonghyun, cocking an eyebrow. “You sing ?”

 

“Oh… Well, I don’t sing seriously, I mean, I sing for my own pleasure.” The other man shyly smiled, rubbing the back of his head. “Why ? Please don’t ask me to sing for your students, I won’t.”

 

“. I had that song that didn’t fit my vocals but yours could have been good… anyway ! I was kidding. But if you tell me Kibum is relaxed by your singing… why don’t you keep doing it ?”

 

“I’m trying my best to, I often sing him lullabies until he sleeps, I do that really often. Even on the phone sometimes but I really hate the idea of him falling asleep with his phone next to his head. You know, because of electromagnetic waves.”

 

“You’re so old in such a young body… We were definitely meant to meet ! But to be serious, maybe I have an idea to help your boyfriend.”

 

“Which is ?”

 

“Compose songs for him to listen when you’re busy sleeping and he doesn’t want to bother you.”

 

 

Jonghyun raised his eyebrows, then frowned, not sure about what he had just heard. The remedy seemed so simple in Jinki’s mouth, he could have throw the information while shrugging and it would have felt the same way. Compose songs ?

 

 

“I don’t get it.” The white haired man said. “You want me to create songs ? Lyrics, musical arrangement ?”

 

“Lyrics at least, yes.” His colleague nodded, his eyes sparkling. “You’re teaching literature and you’re passionate about words and hidden meanings, about poetry in a general way. Have you ever written something ?”

 

“Well, not songs to be honest… Poetry, yes, I did. I have a bunch of poems I even wanted to publish, back in my studies years.”

 

“So you know how to write beautiful things, how to put words on feelings, all that stuff. What do you think about you try to write some poetry for your darling, words to relax him, and I try to turn them into lyrics with a melody ?”

 

“You would do that ?”

 

“Of course ! To be honest, I like composing but I at writing lyrics. I will improve with time for sure, but it’s always a pleasure to compose a melody for someone’s lyrics. It will be like another partnership, but not for our students this time.”

 

 

Jonghyun couldn’t help but offer a bright smile to his colleague, and he opens his arms to welcome him in a friendly and grateful embrace. He would have never thought of giving songs to his boyfriend to help him when he can’t be there to do it himself. He couldn’t have done it all by himself either, and having Jinki volunteering to something that personal… felt relieving.

 

The ring resounded and put an end to their hug, Jinki standing up and proposing to meet his friend the next weekend to start the creation. Jonghyun agreed and while the music teacher was heading to his students, the literature one left, taking several bus to reach Kibum’s university. He smiled with nostalgia as he remembered the good times when both boyfriends would either sit on the grass on sunny days or in the library when rain was pouring, to study together. 

 

The white haired man had to admit it : Kibum had been a big part of his progress in subjects he had difficulties with. That man was tenacious, he wouldn’t let him go until he knew perfectly the definitions and the main points of his lessons. To think that he wasn’t returning it this year because of his work saddened Jonghyun, but he got himself together quickly as he stepped in the library. Thankfully, thanks to his new status, he was still allowed to enter the university libraries since he now possessed a teacher’s pass ; a literature teacher’s pass, additionally, and that was a real bonus.

 

During three long hours, the man put his unfinished lessons about Oscar Wilde and his students’ essays about Matsuo Bashō’s haikus aside, to focus on this new task of his : writing lyrics. It felt extremely new to him, and he took several minutes to write the first word. He didn’t know where to begin, he was used to write poems but he couldn’t help but think about the musicality.

 

He had to think about it, he couldn’t bring something to Jinki just like that and ask him to put music behind it. No, he had to do a real work on his words tones, his sentences’ rhythm… everything that was making poetry so audible. Jonghyun had always loved to read poems out loud, and he was making the most of his poetry classes to please himself. As a reward, some of his students had sometimes come to him at the end of a lesson, to confess him their admiration for his lectures and his reading skills.

 

Thus, Jonghyun thought about the words he would like Kibum to hear from him, the best words to reassure him, comfort him, making him feel his presence when he’s not there. He then let his pen run on his notebook’s sheets, the black ink tracing characters and painting his imagination and creativity through words.

 

The hours passed, and his phone screen switched on to show a message from his boyfriend, telling him he had to see a teacher before coming to him. He was also asking him to wait for him, to not leave the library, and Jonghyun pouted as he felt Kibum’s anxiety through the device. Even when he just had to ask him to wait a bit more, his boyfriend was feeling as if he was putting his trust to test.

 

He immediately replied the text, sending a short message with a red heart and hoping it would relax the other man. Then, he looked down to his notebook… and noticed he had written five songs. Actually it didn’t look like songs to him, except for the four or five verses he had written twice or thrice according to the poem, to evoke a chorus.

 

To him, it was only five poems like the ones he used to write during university, with choruses. But maybe it would talk differently to Jinki… as he packed his things, Jonghyun smiled, thinking he hadn’t lost his love for writing poetry as he had just wrote five works in only three hours. Short, but meaningful works.

 

He was borrowing a book when Kibum arrived in the library’s hall, waving to him. The teacher smiled and waved back before joining him and pressing a soft kiss on his lips.

 

 

“Good day ?” He asked, grabbing his boyfriend’s waist and leading him outside.

 

“Usual, except this morning’s test.” The pink haired man answered as he adjusted his scarf when the cold bit him.

 

“Oh, how did it go ?”

 

“I think I can have a B. But it was pretty hard. Also, my head teacher asked me to be a tutor for a first year student who asked for one.”

 

“That sounds nice, you could help that guy with your knowledge. Did you accept it ?”

 

“I met him just now, before joining you. He seems nice and he really wish to improve and learn so… I think I will accept. He won’t be a burden to my own studies so I can manage it. I will get wages from the university for this, it’s like a job since it’s outside classes hours.”

 

“That sounds really nice, maybe you should take him to your place for his lessons, it’s always helpful to be in a place that’s different from school. And your apartment is so inspiring it can only help him.”

 

“You’re right, I will propose that to him when I meet him tomorrow. His name is Taemin by the way, and it was funny because he has the same hair color than you.”

 

“Oh, but I hope it suits me better ?”

 

“Hum… can I use a joker ?”

 

“You brat. I was going to take you out for dinner, just like that, a surprise… but I don’t think I can pursue since—”

 

“Okay, okay, it suits you better. You’re the prettiest bleached head ever.”

 

 

Jonghyun bursted out laughter and pulled his boyfriend closer as they walked together along the streets, being careful not to slip as black ice had formed with the temperature cooling down with the evening coming. Kibum laughed in return, and the white haired man smiled ; he had missed his laugh.

 

 

---

 

 

The piano tiles were grazed by Jinki’s fingers as Jonghyun was sitting next to him on the seat, a sheet in the hands and softly singing along with the melody. Both men were at the music teacher’s place, a small and cozy house with an entire room dedicated to his instruments. It was Saturday, and it had been two hours since the white haired man had arrived, thus, two hours since they had started creating music for his lyrics.

 

Jinki had been impressed by his friend’s work, especially by the number of songs he had brought him. He had reassured him about his skills, assuring him that the words he had written was exactly what a song required. Jonghyun had blushed a bit when he had been complimented about his efforts with musicality and rhythm through words, the musician grateful for it since it was going to help him a lot for the melody.

 

In these two hours, they had already finished a song with only the piano accompanying it, and they were working on the second one. Jinki was extremely serious, guiding his friend with the notes to sing and even singing first to make him repeat after him. Jonghyun had discovered a really soft yet powerful voice in his colleague’s throat, but he hadn’t felt surprised : Jinki’s talking voice was betraying a certain skill for singing, it was just confirming his doubts. 

 

 

“You got it, this one will be easy for you.” The music teacher said. “I think this song can have a second instrument, what do you think about violin ?”

 

“Violin ?” Jonghyun repeated, thinking hard. “Why not ! You’re the musician here, I will follow your advices. Just… do you think there is a song that can maybe have only a guitar with it ?”

 

“Hmm… actually, I think piano and acoustic guitar are the two best instruments to fit your songs, because instruments have to fit the mood you want to share with your words. In this case, you want Kibum to feel reassured, to relax before sleeping… we certainly won’t put drums or electric guitar. We’ll keep acoustic, so piano, guitar and maybe violin, we’ll see.”

 

“I agree.”

 

“So today we’ll try to prepare the melody for your songs, you won’t leave my house until we have at least the main melody for each song you wrote. You saw it, it can go fast thanks to the work you put in the writing. That’s how we make such a perfect team !”

 

“Stop complimenting me, I will blush again and I don’t want to have feelings for you.” Both men laughed at the remark, and Jinki hit his friend’s shoulder.

 

“Stupid, I’m seven years older than you and I have a pregnant wife. Don’t make me have feelings for you either.”

 

 

Jonghyun laughed out loud and pretended to jump from the seat, his colleague joining him in his laughter. Of course both of them were joking around, even though some other teachers at university was finding their relationship weird… they didn’t care at all. They hated that awkward atmosphere between all teachers, most of them being too pretentious to care about sociability. 

 

Once they went serious again, they worked really hard for several hours and forgot the time. Jinki’s wife even knocked at the door to notice them that it was almost dinner time, and suggested that Jonghyun stayed. Both men agreed with the idea and they quickly finished with the last song, the one they had chose for the acoustic guitar.

 

The literature teacher knew how to play piano and guitar, even though he hadn’t a lot of time to practice, nor a piano at his place… but he still had his old guitar, and he wanted to record the last song all by himself, with his voice and his instrument. Jinki agreed, and as they walked out to join his wife for dinner, they planned their next meeting for a sort of rehearsal, before the real recording.

 

The musician had a friend who worked in the music industry as a singer and composer, a real blessing for Jonghyun at the moment. He contacted him to ask for a special pass to his recording studio, explaining the situation to him so he could really understand. His friend felt extremely impressed by Jonghyun’s wish, and he immediately agreed to let them borrow the studio, to the condition he would be with them.

 

Even though the white haired man felt shy about it, he put his worries aside and accepted the deal. They planned the recording on the next Friday, and it was a very good timing ; indeed, the next weekend, Jonghyun had a seminary and would be away from Seoul for three days. Kibum would be alone and his boyfriend was hoping this opportunity would be good to see if his gift would work…

 

 

---

 

 

“Do you have everything…?” Kibum asked, handing his toiletries to his boyfriend, who took them and smiled as he stored them in his suitcase.

 

“Yes, everything’s here.” Jonghyun replied before closing the zip and locking it with a small padlock.

 

 

It was Saturday morning, and the literature teacher was about to leave to catch his train, which was planned at ten in the morning. It was barely half past eight, and his boyfriend had slept at his place to help him packing his things, knowing how Jonghyun could have his head in the clouds and forget important things. He had once left for an entire week without bringing any underwear, and had been forced to buy extra ones.

 

Now everything was packed, but the separation was always tough… and even more at a time when Kibum had these trust issues. The white haired man sat on his bed and tapped next to him for his boyfriend to join him, what he immediately did.

 

 

“Baby, it’s only three days.” Jonghyun whispered, taking the other man’s hand in his. “You handled more than that, didn’t you ?”

 

“I did, but… I don’t know, this time it’s really hard.” Kibum confessed. “It feels like… it’s so stupid but I’m afraid you will forget me.”

 

“Indeed, it’s stupid, but we both know about your troubles lately, so I don’t mind hearing you saying stupid things. It doesn’t make a stupid person of you, okay ?”

 

“Yes… you’ll call me, right ?”

 

“Every day, once I go back to the hotel. As we always did. And you, will you focus on your studies and hanging out while I’m not there ?”

 

“I suppose yes…”

 

“Nonsense, you have to promise it ! I promised, you promise. Come on baby, promise me, pinky promise !”

 

 

Kibum laughed as his boyfriend started tickling him, and he grabbed his shoulders to make him stop. Their eyes met and the student softly caressed the other’s cheek.

 

 

“Fine, I promise.” He said. “Minho wants to go to the skating rink so… maybe I will agree to go with him in the end.”

 

“That sounds really nice.” Jonghyun smiled and turned his head to kiss his boyfriend’s palm. “Just be careful when you fall, hide your hands if there are too many people around you. Don’t forget your gloves either.”

 

“Are you my boyfriend or my mom ?”

 

“And you ?”

 

 

Both laughed and made their foreheads meet, savoring the warm contact in this cold winter. Kibum frowned when he felt Jonghyun straighten up too soon to his taste, and even more when he saw him search in his nightstand’s drawer. The drawer that was usually hiding his condoms.

 

 

“Yah, you’re not serious.” The student sighed and laughed as he hit his lover’s back. “You’re definitely a man.”

 

“What do you mean ?”

 

 

Jonghyun had turned over to face him again, his eyebrows raised and his hands holding a wrapped packet. Kibum looked down and stood gaping when he noticed the gift, only making his boyfriend laugh.

 

 

“Here, it’s for you. I put all my heart in it and thanks God I have some contacts in this world.” The teacher bragged. “Kidding, except for the part with my heart. I hope it will help you a lot.”

 

 

The student smiled as he took the gift he was receiving, and he carefully opened it. There, behind the wrapping paper, he discovered a CD box which was customized with a dozen of selfies they had taken together throughout the years. It was cheesy as hell and Kibum snorted, but when he turned the box to check its back, his eyes started tearing by themselves.

 

The back was simple, it was only a black paper with golden characters. He easily recognized Jonghyun’s handwriting, and smiled as the words were describing in three sentences the gift itself. He opened the box to discover a shining CD, and on it was written “Sleep tight, honey”. 

 

 

“There are five songs.” Jonghyun whispered. “It’s my first time doing this so please don’t be too harsh with me.”

 

“Harsh with you ? Nonsense…” Kibum smiled. “You really wrote each song yourself ?”

 

“Yes, everything is from me. Then my colleague created the melody and we recorded my voice on it. It’s a bit weird to hear myself, to be honest, but… I hope it will help you to relax and to sleep when I’m not next to you. Not only for these three days but as long as you need it, until your worries fade away.”

 

“It’s wonderful… Is it a Christmas gift, then ?”

 

“Not at all, I have something else planned for Christmas but you will only see it when I return ! This one… this one is just something from my heart to yours. Because I wished it, there is no special occasion. I just want you to smile again, to laugh and more than everything, to sleep. It may not work but… please give it a try.”

 

“I will, I promise. Thank you so much, honey…”

 

 

Kibum put the box on the mattress and drew his boyfriend into a warm hug, Jonghyun holding him tight and caressing his back. He whispered some supporting words to him, and the pink haired man nodded and whispered some back, for his seminary. They stayed like that for a few moments, until the student straightened up and stood up, holding the teacher’s hand.

 

 

“Come, you’ll be late.” He said.

 

“But I’m not going to kick you out…” Jonghyun frowned.

 

“Don’t worry, you gave me a spare key, remember ? I will make the bed and take a shower here before leaving, don’t worry. Now go, the train won’t wait for you.”

 

“I won’t miss it.”

 

 

Jonghyun smiled and walked to the door with his suitcase, followed by his boyfriend. There, he leaned on him to kiss him dearly, one of these kisses full of promises they often shared. Kibum kissed him back and caressed his cheek before opening the door ; the white haired man put his coat, scarf and shoes on before stepping out, and he waved at his lover while waiting for the elevator.

 

Once he disappeared behind the metallic doors, Kibum smiled and closed the appartement’s door. Loneliness invaded his mind, but he kept a smile on his lips as he walked to the bedroom, taking the CD box in his hands. He hesitated a bit before he turned Jonghyun’s stereo on, placing the disc inside and lying on the bed after he closed a bit the shutter.

 

The sound of a piano started resounding in the room, soft and agreeable, and Kibum let the music enter him. Soon, his boyfriend’s voice joined in, and he smiled. It felt nice, it felt like these hard nights when he needed to hear him. At first, he felt afraid that it would just make him miss Jonghyun more, but it did the exact opposite. Even though he hadn’t his arms around him, even though no one was caressing his hair or his back… it felt as if.

 

It was only his imagination, but it felt as good as when it was real. In no time, the songs played each in turn, until the last one with Jonghyun playing the guitar himself while singing. 

 

Kibum listened to it carefully, and without even noticing it, his eyes closed… and he fell asleep to the sound of his love’s voice.

 

 

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