Jongup remembers that night all too clearly.

 

Terrified, he is huddled in the corner, hugging his knees to his chest and shivering. He has to tell him, but he can't. He just can't bear to see Himchan hurt like this. To see Himchan's face when he learns that Yongguk is gone. Because Jongup can't hurt his brother.

Even if he's not really his brother. Even if Jongup is not tied to Himchan in any way at all. Even if he's just a vagabond Himchan's parents picked up off the streets. 

Then he thinks. Himchan is waiting for Yongguk. If Jongup does not tell him now, it will hurt even more.

Before he can change his mind, he stands up, takes the telegram and runs. 

 

 

He remembers, too, the night when he was found.

 

 

Alone on the streets in the middle of winter, the empty house he'd been living in having burned to the ground. He has hardly a stitch of clothing left on his body, he is starving and chilled to the bone. He cannot even move anymore; he just lies still. Jongup knows he is going to die.

Then he's lifted; lifted into a man's strong warn arms. A woman gasps; a child says 'Mom, dad, what's that?' Yes, what, not who; yes, unidentified child, I'm nothing more than a thing to be thrown around and played with, and then cast away.

'He's dead, I think,' the woman murmers. 'How horrible; poor child.....not even our Himchan's age yet.'

'We should take him to our house; we'll figure it out there,' the man holding Jongup replies.

He carries the half-frozen, starved child through the night; a door opens, and there is light and warmth. Jongup is placed gently onto a bed. The man who carried him feel his heart, then says in amazement and relief, 'he's alive!'

 

And so Jongup is taken in. Himchan, aged eleven, has been away in Europe, living with his aunt and uncle for five and a half years. He must study as much as possible, if he is to be successful. How hard is it to convince him, arriving home a year later, that this child was born to them while he was away and simply kept a secret? Himchan is gullible. It will not be hard.

Jongup is seven but his height makes it easy to lie. His new parents will simply say he is five.

 

But he hurts them. It is because of him and his problems, that all their problems are born. Because Jongup hallucinates while he sleeps. And he sees his whole life before adoption, something no child of seven should be allowed to see.

It is the stress that kills his father. And now it is just him, Himchan, his mother.....and Daehyun.

No, not anymore. But they cannot let go.

The child's voice. The baby that Jongup heard the night he was picked up. The family cannot afford to pay for Himchan's education, Jongup's medicine and everything needed for their youngest as well. Thus he is sent to Europe.....and new comes back, that he has disappeared completely.

It's his curse. Jongup's curse. Beaten until blood ran by his parents after birth; alone on the streets, nearly dying; his adoptive father's death, and now Daehyun. 

And now Yongguk.

Jongup is a freak, that's what he is. Nothing but heartbreak follows any affection towards him.

 

 

 

Jongup jolts out of his sleep. Himchan is getting dressed to go to work; but seeing his brother's pale face and wild eyes, he hurries into his room. 'Did you have another nightmare?'

Jongup gulps. 'I'm fine.'

Himchan nods and ruffles his brother's hair. 'See you.'

Jongup notices, as he always does, the ebony ribbon on a chain around Himchan's neck.

It's strung on with the locket. In the locket is a photo of Yongguk. Yongguk who would still be here is not for Himchan's defective freak of a brother.

Himchan cannot let go. And it's Jongup's fault.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A/N: I love hurting people.

Next chapter will be more present, I promise