Taemin wakes up at the crack of dawn, light from the barely rising sun filtering in through the windows.

He doesn't know why he is awake. He's tired, so technically he should be asleep until the sun is high in the sky, but this morning, his eyes open at an hour that is much too early, and no matter how he tries to close them again, sleep refuses to claim him back.

So, he doesn't go back to sleep. Instead, he turns to lie on his side, his eyes fixating onto the form of the man lying next to him; his best friend, his lover. Sound asleep, Jongin rests on his back, his chest slowly rising and falling with every breath, his lips curved up into a small smile. Jongin looks calm, content—and although there's a trace of exhaustion lingering under his eyes, all the time he spent juggling work and parenting starting to catch up, the happiness written onto his features overpowers everything else.

It's surreal, to be waking up with Jongin lying next to him like this.

Of course, he has woken up next to Jongin many times; hundreds, maybe even thousands of times. He has woken up next to Jongin with a bad hangover and on the floor after Jongin kicked him out of his own bed, but even though he has lived through almost every possible scenario, he had never imagined that one day, he would wake up next to Jongin after a long night of sweet, sweet pleasure, his heart absolutely and completely consumed with bliss.

A sudden burst of emotion threatens to devour him, catching him off guard. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, swallowing all the feelings away until a smile is the only thing that lingers on his lips.

Last night was everything he had never dared to hope for. It still feels like a dream, even though he knows he is awake, even though he can still feel the way Jongin touched him, felt him, wrapped his fingers around him, bringing him to heights he had never reached on his own. Jongin whispered soothing murmurs into his ears, every coherent and incoherent word heavy with love and desire; his lips trailing to places they had never been, setting fire inside him, making pleasure bubble up in his throat until it could no longer be suppressed.

Nothing can possibly describe how he felt—how he still feels. It was amazing, it was addicting, and yet it brings him fear; fear of everything being taken away right after he had gotten a taste of it, fear of losing Jongin now that he's had him.

He wonders if he should have waited a bit more before jumping right in, before willingly giving his everything to Jongin, but he doesn't think he could picture this relationship unfolding any other way.

Being with Jongin is not like being with anyone else, not that he had ever let anyone else touch him the way Jongin did, to reach into the deepest parts of him and take him, to fill every part of his being with passion. It's not like fooling around in college apartments during house parties, touching and kissing whoever seemed interested, nor is it like that one month seven years ago, the month he never talks nor thinks about, when he convinced himself that searching for random drunken flings was a good way to forget—although in his case, all of his attempts ended up failing anyway, and he had to resort to throwing himself into his career.

With Jongin, it was so easy, too easy, to give his trust. He didn't even hesitate to let Jongin do anything and everything, knowing that Jongin would never hurt him willingly, that he cares about him too much, loves him too much to do so. He knew he wouldn't have been able to resist anyway, overwhelmed with his emotions as he was, desperate to confirm and reaffirm Jongin's feelings towards him. All his emotions intensified to the point of tears—happy, relieved tears; all the pent up hope, desire, and love inside him charged all the way to the extremes, so much so that he feels like he might cry again at this moment, as he recalls the memory that is still fresh in his mind.

He looks at the man lying next to him and can't stop his hand from drifting closer, to snuggle closer against his lover's arm, to lay his fingers on his skin, desperate to feel the reassuring waves of comfort that comes from having Jongin near him. His eyes follow the circular movements he draws on the other's chest, the touch barely holding any weight, and hopes Jongin doesn't wake up, not now—he looks too exhausted to be awake at such an early hour.

Despite that, a few moments later Jongin stirs, shifting closer towards him to seek warmth. His eyelids flutter open, and for a split second Taemin's heart stops, nervous that Jongin would rouse and catch his secret touches, before he remembers that he is allowed to touch, that Jongin has given him permission to touch everything, anything he wants to touch at any time—before he remembers that just last night, Jongin even asked and begged him to touch the most intimate parts of his body, and that he had let himself indulge in everything he had always wanted but never dared to do. The thoughts that sneak into his mind at the reminder do not fail to bring heat to his cheeks, his mind slowly getting tainted with slightly less than appropriate ideas.

Taemin can't help but sigh in relief when Jongin's eyes slip back shut without a word, his eyelashes casting shadows onto the top of his cheeks. Jongin looks so calm, so peaceful; he doesn't know how long he stares, how much time he spends focusing on every twitch of his eye, every quirk of his lips, but he couldn't bring himself to look away—until a buzzing sound distracts him from the dreamlike reality.

Slightly disoriented, Taemin looks around for the source of the sound, to find it coming from Jongin's phone, lying on the nightstand at his side of the bed as it vibrates unceasingly against the wood. At first, he thought that it was just an alarm, that it will turn off on its own eventually, but then he realizes that it's too early, and that alarms make a sound—so it's either a barrage of of texts or a call. It's probably the latter, as can be heard from the regular pattern of the vibrations.

Jongin grunts, but doesn't make a move to get up and take his phone, instead choosing to bury his face into the pillows as if it will make the buzzing stop, lips pursed into a pout.

Honestly, it's adorable.

It's so adorable that Taemin can't bring himself to wake him up, to make him answer the call. He stays where he is, unmoving, looking at Jongin with a fond smile until the buzzing stops.

It's fine to let a call go unanswered once in a while. It's still early anyway.

At first, that's what he thought—but then, the buzzing starts again.

This time, the vibration pattern is different, and the sound comes from right behind him instead of Jongin's side of the bed, which means that it's not Jongin's phone that is ringing, it's his.

He lets the phone ring once, twice, thrice, before he sighs and reluctantly leaves Jongin's side, to at least check who is calling. It's too much of a coincidence for both of their phones to be ringing right after another, and anyone who knows to call him when Jongin doesn't answer his phone must be close enough to them to know where Jongin went, or where he might be.

That is why he isn't surprised at all to see Sehun's name displayed on his screen, although it is weird of him to be calling so early in the morning. The clock on his phone reads 5:13 am, and nobody in their right mind would be awake at this hour.

But then again, Jongin did mention that Sehun would babysit Jiyeon until around midnight, so maybe he's calling to complain about all that overtime. After all, it's not like Jongin planned on staying over—or at least that's what Taemin figured. He doesn't know how far Jongin planned the night, since he didn't even know that the date was going to happen in the first place.

With one last glance at Jongin's sleeping form, he sighs again and gets out of bed, to take the call outside. It's kind of cold; he pulls part of the sheets out of Jongin's grasp and covers himself as he walks out, stopping in the hallway, closing the door behind him.

"Hey—" He cuts off his own raspy greeting, because the first thing he hears when the line connects is a lot of shushing noises and the sound of a little girl crying in the background. Worry creeps up into his chest, constricting his lungs. "Is everything okay?"

"Thank god you picked up," Sehun's voice travels through the speakers, much clearer than before. "Sorry. I tried to call Jongin, but he didn't answer."

"He's still asleep," he explains, a frown forming on his lips at Sehun's urgent tone. "Did something happen?"

"Jiyeon," Sehun says, his sentence interrupted by more shushing noises. "She woke up and went to Jongin's room but no one was there—and now she's been crying for half an hour. I just can't get her to calm down."

Taemin feels his own face fall.

The picture is so clear in his mind, Jiyeon entering Jongin's room, climbing onto the bed to find it empty. He can see her face contort in a mix of emotions before the tears start to fall, having seen the same sight multiple times whenever he has to leave, to go home for the night.

"Do you think you can handle it?" he asks, trying not to let the panic seep out. What if she thinks that Jongin has left her behind too—abandoned her, leaving her alone? His heart breaks just from imagining it. He doesn't want her to ever feel like that.

"I'm not sure," Sehun answers him, and he really does sound unsure; it brings no calm to his heart.

Jiyeon is still crying in the background, and right now, the only solution he can think of is for her to see Jongin, but when he recalls how Jongin is sleeping like he hasn't slept in a hundred years, exhaustion printed into the creases on his face, he can't even think about trying to wake him up.

"Can you just—" he ruffles his hair, not knowing what to do. "Just… bring her here. Yeah, that would be fine, right? It's just a ten-minute drive anyway."

To hell with not panicking. Jiyeon is obviously not okay, and he is allowed to worry because over the weeks and months, he has grown to think of himself as her father, too. If Jongin can't go home to see her, she can come here to see him instead.

"I think I still have some of her essentials here, so just make sure to bring her dolls to distract her during the drive," he continues to absently fire off instructions to the phone. "—and can you let me try talking to her?"

She can't talk to Jongin right now, but he's available—and maybe, just maybe, she'll calm down after hearing his voice.

"Yea, sure," Sehun replies easily.

After a short shuffling noise and Sehun telling her that it's her 'daddy' on the phone, Jiyeon's voice finally sounds through the speakers.

"...Daddy?" she hiccups, and it's even more obvious that she has been crying. "-dis Daddy?"

"Yes, Jiyeonnie. It's me," he says, unintentionally speaking softer, gentler. "Are you okay?"

"Yea…" she trails off, and then there's a rustling sound, probably from her shaking her head. "No."

He can see her pout in his mind, and he frowns, biting his bottom lip. "Do you want to come here? Will you be okay if you see me and Daddy?"

"...Yea," Jiyeon answers after a pause, the line crackling again with that same rustling sound. She hiccups again as she speaks. "Me, Daddy—yeah."

"Alright, then pack your stuff, okay?" he says. "Uncle Sehun will bring you here."

"...kay," she mutters. "Baby go—me?"

Jiyeon babbles at him, her tone questioning, and Taemin smiles.

"Yes, your baby can go with you. Bring your teddy too, okay?"

Jiyeon murmurs an affirmative response, and he can hear that she isn't crying anymore, even though there are still traces of a sob in her voice.

"I'll see you soon, Jiyeonnie. Bye-bye."

"Bye-bye," Jiyeon hums, and there's another shuffling sound, speakers crackling as the phone changes hands.

"How do you do that?" Sehun asks incredulously once the phone is in his hold again. "You calmed her down in like, two minutes."

"Experience, I guess?" Taemin shrugs to downplay it, but for some reason he feels pride swell up in his chest. It feels like an achievement; a final realization that he could actually be a good parent, too.

Now that Jiyeon is calmer, they quickly wrap up the call, so she and Sehun can prepare to leave. Looking at the time, it will probably be another fifteen minutes until they arrive. He goes back to his bedroom, figuring that he could take a quick nap before he has to get up for real and open the door.

To his surprise, when he enters the room, he finds Jongin with his eyes blearily open, staring at him from where he's lying on the bed. His lips are jutted out into a pout, and as Taemin comes closer, he lifts an arm up to hold it out in the air, an invitation waiting to be fulfilled.

Chuckling, he lets the sheet he's covering himself with drop onto the floor and climbs back in bed, slipping under the blankets and shuffling right into Jongin's arms. Jongin, as expected, immediately wraps all his limbs around him, nestling his head at the crook of his neck, despite being the taller one between them.

"Do I look like a teddy bear to you?" he asks, amused.

He trails his fingers up Jongin's spine, feeling the goosebumps traveling on his skin. Jongin doesn't answer his question, only humming against his neck.

"Why'd you leave," Jongin mumbles, his already quiet and raspy voice muffled even further by Taemin's own skin. It tickles a little, the way Jongin's lips move against his pulse.

"Sehun called," he explains. "Didn't wanna wake you up, so I took the call outside."

Jongin grunts, nuzzling him. "Should've just ignored him."

He chuckles, the back of Jongin's head, carding his fingers through his lover's hair.

"I was going to, but I'm glad I didn't," he says. "It's Jiyeon. She's been crying because she couldn't find you."

At that, Jongin suddenly goes into full alert.

"Is she okay?" Jongin lifts himself up, propping up his weight on an elbow. "Do I have to—"

"She's fine now. I talked to her for a bit," Taemin cuts him off, reaching up to his cheek. Jongin immediately calms down as he hears him say that, sighing in relief. "I told Sehun to bring her here so we can watch her, but if you still wanna sleep, it's fine. I'll take care of her."

He smiles and watches as Jongin's lips quirk up into a smile of his own. Jongin's face is slightly puffy and his features are softened with sleep, but Taemin can still feel the fondness radiating towards him in ripples as Jongin leans down to let their lips meet.

"You're the best," Jongin murmurs against his lips and kisses him again. "I love you so much."

For a moment, Jongin's words take him back to the past, to all the times he heard these exact words and had to tell himself that they didn't mean anything.

Now, he doesn't have to tell himself anything, and the contrast, the difference, is striking. He can let himself sink under all the love Jongin gives him, and he is incredibly grateful for this turn of fate, for whoever and whatever that let him have the chance to experience this once in his life.

"Mm, I love you too." Feeling all his emotions bubble up once again, he smiles into Jongin's next kiss, and attacks him with a peck of his own. "Go back to sleep, Jonginnie. You look super tired."

Amidst soft kisses and subtle touches, Jongin dozes off, head pillowed on his chest and arms wrapped around him. When his phone vibrates again with a text from Sehun, announcing his arrival, he has to carefully peel Jongin off of him, moving gently so he doesn't wake him up, even though his worry about Jiyeon's condition has quickly resurfaced, making him rush to the door. In his rush, he almost forgets that he's not wearing anything; he backtracks to pull on a random shirt and sweatpants from his closet, roughly putting them on as he walks out of the room.

When he opens the door, he finds Sehun's arms empty—so his eyes automatically drift down to where he finds Jiyeon's tiny figure, standing right next to Sehun with a sulky pout. She looks up at him, her eyes shimmering in recognition, and finally takes a couple steps forward to hug his leg, her dolls dropping to the ground.

"Daddy," she cries, repeating the word over and over again, until he bends down to lift her up into his arms.

"Hi, baby," he coos, coaxing her tears away. "I'm so, so sorry. Were you scared?"

Jiyeon nods, then shakes her head, then nods again; she can't seem to decide how to answer, so she settles on a pout instead, rubbing her eyes as she blinks.

"It's okay now. You're here. Daddy's here," he her head, hugging her closer to calm her down. Eventually, she stops tearing up, and her lips break into a small smile. "Daddy Jonginnie is inside. Wanna go inside?"

"Yea," Jiyeon is already pointing towards the inner part of the apartment, wiggling her body to get him to move. "Daddy, me go—"

Before he could do anything, he finds a baby princess and a teddy bear shoved into his arms, and he finally remembers that Sehun is still here.

"Oh, right. You can come in," he says to the other man, his arms full of toddler and dolls.

Sehun shakes his head. "Nah, it's okay. I'm going home."

"You sure?" Taemin lifts his eyebrows. "It's early—if you need to sleep, I have a spare bed."

"It's fine. I was supposed to be home five hours ago anyway," Sehun rolls his eyes, and Taemin chuckles.

"Sorry about that."

"It's fine," Sehun says, eyes lowering to a specific spot on Taemin's neck before he grins. "At least you guys seemed to enjoy yourselves."

Taemin can't help the flush that spreads on his cheeks. He doesn't need to look in the mirror to know how he looks right now; he still remembers where the marks Jongin left are located, obvious traces of what they were doing last night.

"Daddyyyy," Jiyeon whines, impatient to get inside. "Me go~"

"Wait a second, Jiyeon-ah. Wait," he bounces her in his arms a little, to make her stop struggling away. Normally, he would just let her down and allow her to run inside by herself—she's familiar enough with his apartment to know where the bedroom is—but she can open doors now, and he doesn't know if Jongin is still sleeping, or if he already got up to get dressed.

"I'm gonna go now," Sehun interrupts, gesturing to the elevator in the end of the hallway.

Taemin nods and smiles. "Thanks for taking care of her. You deserve a long break."

"I know, right? Tell Jongin I demand extra vacation days this year," Sehun huffs, making a laugh escape Taemin's lips.

"I will. See you," Taemin grins. "Jiyeon, say bye-bye to Uncle Sehunnie."

Jiyeon glances at Sehun, blinking for a moment before she mumbles. "Bye-bye, 'cle Hunnie."

"Bye, Jiyeonnie. We'll hang out again later, okay?" Sehun's face melts into a soft smile as he raises a hand to give Jiyeon a high-five. Taemin has never seen his younger friend look so soft, but apparently Jiyeon has the power to turn everyone into mush.

They all wave at each other and see Sehun off, before going back inside the apartment. He brings Jiyeon to the living room, letting her sit on the couch with her dolls. As soon as she sits, she starts looking around, trying to find something—or someone.

"Looking for Daddy?" he asks, sitting on the couch next to her and pulling her onto his lap. When she nods and questions him in rapid fire babbles, he smiles. "He's still sleeping, so we have to be quiet, okay? Shhhh."

Jiyeon nods in understanding and copies him, before she interrupts herself, her lips parting into a huge yawn. Taemin can only chuckle and coo at how adorable she is when she starts pouting afterwards, annoyed at herself.

"Want to sleep?" he asks, smiling when she nods. "You can sleep now. Daddy is here."

He cradles her in his arms, letting her rest her head against his shoulder as he tries to put her to sleep with soft on her back. Jiyeon falls asleep almost immediately, her breathing slowing down; he lets himself get comfortable on the couch and closes his eyes too, trying to get a shut eye, now that he no longer has to worry about Jiyeon feeling lonely.

Moments later, right as he was about to drift off to sleep, he hears a door creak open, followed by the familiar quiet sound of Jongin's footsteps. He opens his eyes just in time to see Jongin come closer—only wearing a pair of sweatpants that was probably stolen from his closet, his defined torso on full display.

It's hard not to stare, to be completely honest, but when he remembers that he has a toddler in his arms and that it's not the time to let his thoughts wander, it's pretty easy to force his eyes up to look Jongin in the eye.

"Wanna join us?" he offers with a smile.

Jongin nods to accept his invitation and sits right next to him, one of his legs hiked up onto the seats as he scoots closer.

"Why didn't you just bring her to our bed?" Jongin mumbles, resting his forehead against Taemin's unoccupied shoulder, wrapping his arms tightly around him and Jiyeon.

Taemin spaces out for a slow second, not expecting Jongin to refer to his bed as theirs. It brings warmth to his heart, making him almost forget that he hasn't responded to Jongin's question.

"We haven't changed the sheets," he says in a hushed voice, more of a reminder to himself and to Jongin than an answer.

Jongin looks up, eyebrows quirked.

"Why would you need to change the—" Realization washes over Jongin's expression, his eyes widening as pink tints his cheeks. Neither of them bothered to clean up the bed last night, falling asleep right after messily wiping all the fluids off of each other's bodies. "Oh. Right."

Taemin chuckles. If he could move his arms, he would pat his lover's cheeks, intrigued by the way it's growing redder and redder, but sadly, he can't.

"So? Do you want to do that, so we can have her sleep in there for a couple hours?"

Jongin stares at him with a pout for a long, long time, but in the end, he sighs and gives in. "Fine—but I want my good morning kiss first."

"I can't move," Taemin fakes a pout, looking up at Jongin from under his eyelashes. Jongin isn't the only one who could look adorable with puppy eyes. "Why don't you come a bit closer and take it?"

Jongin blinks at him, clearly taken aback, but he snaps out of it soon enough, stealing a peck from his lips.

"Morning," Jongin smiles against his lips before pulling away. "Meet me in there in a few minutes."

"Mm-hmm."

-

Days turn into weeks, and spring turns into summer.

Four weeks have passed since he and Taemin started dating, but Jongin hasn't stopped wondering how he could be so lucky to have Taemin in his life.

Everything is the same, yet different, at the same time. Their relationship comes like second nature to both of them, their decades of friendship amplified a thousand times into what he is very sure to be a life-long partnership. Being with Taemin is so easy, so effortless—it feels so great to be with someone who knows him to his very core, and it's even better with him and Taemin, because the understanding goes both ways.

It's not like he didn't expect this to happen, when he realized he had fallen for his best friend. Somewhere inside him, he knew that not many things would change after they started dating. Maybe it's because they already did so much with each other, even way before the romantic feelings started taking form—which sometimes makes him question his own feelings and wonder if maybe he had been in love with Taemin this whole time without even knowing. For them, things like curling up in bed with each other during cold nights was a normal thing to do since they were children, and neither of them cared very much about how it looked to other people once they grew up—then there's their habit of incessantly touching each other all the time, something others have pointed out, but he used to shrug off as normal, saying that's just how their friendship worked. The latter should have been a rather telling sign—because normal friends don't touch each other the way they do and especially don't feel empty inside when they're not touching each other—but he was an idiot and didn't pay attention.

Interestingly, in the middle of all this normality, despite everything he already knows about Taemin and his habits, he still has so much to discover about him. Finding these little quirks hidden inside Taemin that would never have come to light if they hadn't entered a romantic relationship has become a new hobby of his, the satisfaction of learning something new about Taemin being something he hadn't felt in a long, long time. Without this change of status, he would never have figured out how Taemin likes to be kissed, where to nip and le to make him gasp in pleasure, or known how amazing making love with Taemin feels, how intoxicating coaxing every little whimper and every little moan out of his lover's beautiful lips could be.

Aside from all that, he also wouldn't be sitting in his living room while his daughter is taking a nap, missing Taemin so much that he's doing nothing more productive than thinking about him, wondering what he's doing right now, imagining and planning what they would do once they have time to meet again, because Taemin has gotten busy again in the past two weeks. With the company's annual summer tour fast approaching, he's always in the studio training his dancers. If Jongin had a free schedule, maybe things would have been fine. He would adjust to Taemin's schedule if he could, but he is incredibly busy too, with his studio's dance camp coming up soon.

For the past few years, they have gone through this same exact situation and survived not seeing each other for at least a month, but this year, being apart and busy with their own lives feel a thousand times harder than usual.

It's not just from the fact that they are so much more attached, now that they are no longer just best friends but also lovers; he can deal with missing Taemin—or he tries to, even though he's already failing—but more than that, he misses spending time with Taemin and Jiyeon as a family, if he could just go ahead and use that label. Recently, their conflicting schedules don't allow them to spend as much time together as they would like. He wants to go back to a couple weeks ago, when they had the free time to lounge on the couch after a relaxed dinner and watch Jiyeon babbling and reacting to the kiddie movie she's watching for the hundredth time.

It doesn't help that Jiyeon keeps asking for her 'Daddy Tae' to come home, missing him as much as Jongin does, even though he and Taemin keep telling her that no, Taemin can't always be here, he has to go home; to Taemin's own home, because they don't live together—not yet.

It , really. Sometimes, he even considers asking Taemin to move in with him permanently—so Jiyeon won't miss him as much and so their schedule conflicts won't matter anymore—but the rational part of him keeps telling him that it's only been a month you lovesick idiot, it's still too soon, Taemin wouldn't want to.

In reality, though, Taemin would probably say yes, even if it is kind of soon. It's not like they've never lived together before; it will be just like the good old days of sharing a small dorm room in college, except with larger beds and larger rooms, an addition of an almost-two-year-old daughter, and the fact that they'll be sharing a bed, sleeping next to each other every night.

Living with Taemin again sounds so nice, and the more he thinks about it, the more he wants to ask. Maybe he will ask, later, if he doesn't get too nervous, too scared of being rejected. Not now.

At that moment, he hears his front door clicking open, interrupting his fantasies. Like a side effect of too much imagination, the voice in the back of his mind screamed Taemin's home at him as the quiet footsteps resound from the doorway—even though it's more reasonable to think that it's his mother coming to visit, bringing food with her, because she does that quite often.

Despite him second-guessing himself, when he turns in his seat, looking back to see who decided to come by, he finds that his first instinct was proven correct.

Taemin stands by the partition that separates his doorway and the living room, looking much more presentable than the haggard zombie he looked like the last time he dropped by, when he was smack in the middle of his chaotic, tiring schedule. It's surprising to see him here right now—it's the middle of the day, Taemin's busy, he should be at work—and Jongin's heart speeds up, excitement star