"Have you heard the rumors?" Sehun says, as soon as he enters the studio's staff lounge, on Tuesday afternoon.

Jongin's been sitting in there for hours, reviewing videos, even since before Sehun came in and started his class. Sehun pulls a chair right in front of him, across the shared desk in the middle of the room. From the look of the studio behind the lounge's glass windows, students trickling out of the room one by one, his class probably just ended.

"What rumors?" he looks up from his laptop screen curiously.

"The ones about Taemin," Sehun relaxedly leans back on his chair, his face flat. "Apparently people are talking about how he secretly got married—or knocked some girl up and had a kid."

Jongin chokes. "What the—"

"Interesting, right?" Sehun's expression is still nonchalant, but his tone betrays his amusement. "Well, the one about knocking someone up is completely wrong—we all know he doesn't like girls—but the other one? I think it's pretty accurate."

Sehun isn't revealing everything all at once, and the suspense is making Jongin curious. He wants to ask, but he can't, because there's something about these rumors that is amusing to this one friend of his, and recently, the only things that amuse Sehun always seem come at his expense.

"You're not gonna ask?" Sehun grins, finally deciding to stop keeping up his not-so-convincing poker face. "Fine. I'll tell you anyway. They're saying he eloped to another country five years ago—with you, his long-time secret boyfriend—and recently decided to adopt a child since his career has stabilized. Sounds like your life story, doesn't it?"

He sighs. "...Should I be surprised?"

For some reason, he saw it coming. Sort of.

"Taemin didn't even know I was adopting her," he huffs. He tries to stay calm, but his face is starting to heat up anyway. "Why is he getting all the credit?"

Sehun raises an eyebrow. "That's the part of the story you have an issue with?"

He bites his lower lip and scratches at the back of his ear, fiddling with the roots of his hair.

"Well," he clears his throat and looks away, avoiding Sehun's gaze. "I could, sort of, understand how people came up with the… other part."

Word travels fast in the dancer community, and even he knows just how ambiguously he acted at the opening night a few days ago. There were at least a dozen pairs of eyes in and around the area, watching and listening to them. So many people watched him personally present that huge bouquet to Taemin, and heard his daughter calling Taemin her dad.

Knowing that a weird rumor would eventually spread still doesn't save him from the embarrassment it brings, though. It's not like he's ashamed, or feeling awkward about it—his more recent realizations have helped him with that—he's just a little flustered. It feels a little like those moments in life when he's the last person to know about something.

"Oh?" Sehun leans forward, resting his elbows on the desk, head propped on his hands. "Seems like you've been doing some thinking, lately."

The teasing tone of his friend's voice makes him even more embarrassed.

"It's not a big deal."

Despite his words, he's recalling what he's been thinking about in the past few days—feelings and all—and it's making his cheeks grow even warmer than they already are. His heart seems to be making it a mission to pump all his blood to his cheeks; he can only hope that his face isn't too red from all the blushing.

Sehun's lips curl into a mischievous smirk. "Are you gonna tell me, or…?"

Jongin pauses.

He doesn't know if he's ready to admit his feelings—his more romantic than friendly feelings for his own best friend—to someone else. Hell, he hasn't even fully admitted it to himself.

Well, he has. But not out loud. It hasn't completely sunk in, yet.

Even so, after realizing his feelings, keeping it in has gotten a lot harder. They are slowly but surely seeping into his every action, his every word—and he doesn't know how much time he has until these feelings completely overtake him. It will be much more obvious, then, if it isn't already.

He doesn't even know what to do about it, yet. He knows what he wants to do, but he's not sure if that's a good idea. The biggest problem is, the person he usually consults about these things, Taemin, is the one person who can't know.

Not yet, at least. Not until he figures out what to do.

"I just—" he runs his hand through his hair, deciding to talk. Sehun is his closest friend after Taemin, maybe he'll have some good insight. "I'll tell you, but you can't tell Taemin about this."

Sehun snorts, but nods anyway. "Go on."

He bites his lip again. Just thinking about the words is already nerve-wrecking, and now he's about to actually confess them. Out loud.

"I think I like him," he says quickly.

He looks at his friend, waiting for a reaction—any reaction—but his face is as flat as ever. It's like Sehun is also waiting for something else, although Jongin has no clue what it is.

"What?" Sehun finally replies, after he realizes that Jongin isn't going to say anything else. He arches his eyebrows. "That's it?"

Jongin throws his own confused look at the other man.

"I literally just told you that I'm basically in love with my best friend," he spits out, heart beating out of his chest at his own confession. "What else do you want?"

Sehun scoffs. "That's not how you worded it."

"Is that important?" he pouts.

Sehun pauses. And then, he breaks out into laughter.

"Don't laugh at me," he almost whines, his pout jutting out even further.

Sehun doesn't humor him. Instead, his laugh gets even harder, so hard he's bending his whole body, head almost banging onto the table. This situation must be so funny for him, although Jongin, who is the one in the middle of it, doesn't find it funny at all.

Well, maybe it's a little funny, but he's not about to laugh at his own stupidity, even if that's the most hilarious part of it.

"I'm sorry," Sehun huffs, once his laughter fizzles out. "Just— Really, Jongin? You only figured this out now?" 

He sighs. "It probably sounds stupid to you."

"It doesn't just sound stupid—" Sehun interjects.

"I know," he retorts, cutting the other off before he could roast him for his obliviousness. "It's probably been like this for a while, but I swear, I didn't realize until a few days ago."

He shifts his eyes down, staring at the blank screen of his laptop to avoid Sehun's gaze.

At first, he thought that everything between him and Taemin was just going on as normal. But after all that happened on opening night and afterwards, he can't just brush off his feelings anymore. The flutters in his heart when he sees Taemin laugh. The random urges to touch him—to do more than just touching him. The irrational jealousy that consumes him when he sees Taemin do things with someone else, when he sees whoever that someone else is make Taemin happy. If that's not this hopeless, confusing feeling he calls love, then what is? All of a sudden, he realized that he's been living in intense, serious denial for thirty years, and even after mulling over it for a couple days, he doesn't know how to feel about it. He wants to laugh, but he also wants to cry and curse the world—he doesn't think he has ever been this conflicted in his life.

"Well, congratulations for finally realizing your feelings," Sehun says, breaking the pause they have fallen into. "Took you long enough."

"Thanks," he smiles. A smile that probably looks more like a grimace, but still a smile, nonetheless. "Can you keep this between us? I still don't know what to do about it."

Sehun looks at him in disbelief.

"Seriously?"

"Well, yeah," he sighs. He feels a little less burdened, now that he's told someone. At least he can ask for advice, now. "I just figured it out a few days ago. I haven't had time to figure out if I should do something about it, or just let the feelings die slowly."

"But you are going to tell him, right?" Sehun asks, eyebrows furrowed. "Please don't tell me you're not going to say anything."

There's a tinge of desperation in Sehun's seemingly casual tone.

He scratches his head and looks to the side. "Is it so bad if I don't say anything?"

"Yes. The worst." Sehun states, his voice taking a serious turn. "Don't do that. Not to Taemin."

He turns to look at his friend, and finds the same seriousness in his eyes as in his tone of voice.

Sehun's words sounds so final, for some reason. He's saying it like there's no room for protest—even though Jongin wouldn't protest anyway, because he agrees with him—but he can't help but wonder if Sehun knows something he doesn't.

"I just don't know where—or how—to start," he grimaces, with a long sigh. "Taemin, he's… different. I can't treat him like I treated everyone else in the past, you know? I just can't. Things are different, between us. I don't know how else I could explain it. "

Admittedly, he has thought about some things, in the few days he's had since he realized his feelings. He thought about wooing Taemin, confessing to him, all that stuff. He planned it out, in his head, like he planned out everything else in his life, but everything he thought of doing just seemed too normal. Too casual. Too similar to what they're already doing, almost everyday.

There's really not much left they haven't done together, actually. He and Taemin just have too much history together. Taemin is way too comfortable with him—he always has been. He's comfortable enough to climb into his bed and sleep with him, and to cuddle and snuggle with him without a shirt on, for god's sake. Both when he's drunk, and when he's sober.

Things like that are normal between them, so he doesn't even know if his feelings are reciprocated. He has no way to tell. All the signs he knows of are stuff they have been doing casually for who knows how long, so if he takes things the wrong way and responds with the wrong actions, he risks losing everything.

Everything.

The comfort and support he finds in Taemin's presence, the strong and steady figure to lean on when things get difficult—all of that will be gone. Poof. In one swoop.

He can't even imagine what living like that would be like. Something inside him would probably break forever, without any chance of repair, if he lost Taemin.

"What should I do?"

He needs to know. He's desperate to know, to find a course of action that wouldn't result in him losing his best friend.

He can't explain everything to Sehun in words, but it seems that his friend knows him well enough to catch on to his inner distress, seeing the calm smile he directs at him.

"You're the person who knows him best," Sehun starts. "You know what he likes, don't you?"

He nods. Of course he knows what Taemin likes.

Taemin likes to dance. That's the number one. He likes to work and keep himself busy, for some unknown reason, but he also likes to sleep in and laze around when he has time. He likes cozy, quiet spaces without too many people around, he likes night better than day, and he likes winter better than summer.

Oh. Food. Taemin likes to eat. A lot. Preferably meat, although he's not picky—except when it comes to cucumbers. And carrots. And some other things he can't remember at this point.

Now that he thinks about it, he still owes him dinner. Beef. From that time he made Taemin babysit during his day off.

He's finally starting to see where Sehun is going with this.

"You're getting ideas, right?" Sehun grins, leaning backwards on his chair. "Have someone babysit Jiyeon for a day and ask him out on a date. It's not that hard."

"How is this situation 'not that hard'?" he complains with a huff, after hearing Sehun's words. It makes sense, but he's the one who has to ask Taemin out. On a date. When he doesn't even know what his chances are.

Now that he's actually thinking about this possible date, anxiousness starts to find its way into his heart.

"Like, what if he says no?" he continues, eyes flickering to catch Sehun's. "What if things go wrong?"

Sehun looks at him, and then scoffs.

"Trust me, the only wrong thing you have done is taking way too long to realize your feelings," Sehun shakes his head. "I don't know if that's gonna change things, but I don't think he'd say no if you asked him outright."

Jongin sighs. "He might think I'm just being friendly, though. Everything is too… normal, between us."

"That's because you've been acting like a married couple for too long," Sehun rolls his eyes. "Just say it bluntly, like 'hey, wanna go out on a date with me?' Then there's no chance of him misunderstanding your intentions."

Jongin pouts. "He could get weirded out. Things will get awkward."

"Nah. Probably more surprised than weirded out," Sehun mutters under his breath.

Jongin raises an eyebrow. "You're really confident about this."

"It's not confidence. I'm just looking at things clearly instead of being a blind idiot," Sehun replies with a mischievous smile. That's definitely a jab directed at him, because he feels very offended. "Did I ever tell you that I thought you two were dating, when I first met you? That's how long you've been circling around each other. Over and over and over. It's tiring to watch, you know."

He feels the flush of red creep onto his cheeks again. Sehun is saying that only confirms that this, all of this, including his obliviousness and his idiocy, has been going on for at least ten years. It's both embarrassing and frustrating, at the same time, but he finally understands why Sehun has been teasing him about Taemin so much.

"Fine. I'll trust your judgment," he says. Then, he suddenly has an idea. A form of revenge for all the teasing and the little jabs. "Since you're so intent on helping, can you babysit Jiyeon for a night?"

Sehun gapes at him.

"I gave you all that advice and this is how you reward me?"

"Come on," he laughs, ending with a grin. "It was your idea to have someone babysit her. So I—well, we—can go on a date."

The date that may or may not happen, because he still hasn't asked. He hasn't even figured out how to ask, but that's a problem he'll solve later.

"No way," Sehun rejects, voice clipped. "You have your sisters. Or Kibum. Doesn't his boyfriend coach little kids for a living? He'd probably make a better babysitter than me."

He hums, pretending to think.

"Well, my sisters are busy with their own kids. Kibum and Minho already have their two puppies to take care of—I'd feel bad to disturb them."

"And I have my Vivi. What are you saying?" Sehun protests with an offended expression.

"Please, Sehunnie?"

No matter how much Sehun protests, Jongin's mind is set on this. If he insists enough, Sehun will do it, anyway.

After a pause, Sehun sighs.

"Fine."

Jongin chuckles. Sehun may look cool and detached outside, but he's soft as a pile of cotton inside.

"You owe me," Sehun adds, with another long exhale.

"Thanks," he grins. "You're the best."

-

"I'm here and I have snacks," Taemin yells into Jongin's apartment, announcing his arrival as he toes off his shoes.

For a moment, he waits at the doorway. Jiyeon usually runs over as soon as she hears him open the door, but tonight, he doesn't hear the familiar little steps thudding from the direction of her room. Instead, what he hears is music playing, barely loud enough to be heard from where he stands by the door. He walks further inside, dropping the bag of snacks he's holding onto the living room couch, before following the sound—to Jongin's bedroom.

The sound gets louder as he gets closer, and when he finally peers into the room, he can't help but let out a chuckle.

Jongin is sitting on the floor, in front of his bed, and Jiyeon is across from him, spinning and bouncing to the sound of the music playing from Jongin's phone. Taemin watches her for a little longer, and it seems like she is… trying to dance.

"What are you guys doing?"

"Oh, you're here," Jongin looks up, finally noticing his presence. Jongin's lips curve up into a very handsome smile, and his eyes twinkle brightly at the same time. It makes Taemin want to swoon, just a little bit. "She's putting on a performance. Come join me."

Jongin pats a spot next to him on the floor, and then keeps the arm lifted in the air invitingly, as if he's just waiting for Taemin to automatically come into his arms. With an amused laugh, he walks over, plopping down right next to Jongin, and as soon as he's sitting down, Jongin wraps his arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer to his side as always.

He can't stop himself from scooting in a little closer than usual, leaning onto Jongin's slightly broader figure for his own indulgence. Not too close, not too far. Just enough.

It's nothing out of normal, really, but ever since the previous weekend—the opening night, and the hangover-ladened morning after—it's gotten harder for Taemin to stop himself from giving in to his own desires. Hopefully, he doesn't come across as anything more than casual. His sense of self-control is at its lowest, and the fact that Jongin welcomes this behavior with open arms is only making things worse. It's like there's nothing stopping him anymore. Not even the negative thoughts in his head that still pops up from time to time. That stupid hope in his heart has already overpowered everything, and it only leads up to expectations that wouldn't be fulfilled—probably.

Recently, he doesn't know anymore; he can't tell if he's just hoping aimlessly like usual, or if this shift in their friendship is actually going somewhere. Jongin has been acting out of normal, getting more affectionate with his touches, getting slightly more clingy, and it's difficult to not think of what that implies, no matter how impossible it seems in his head.

"What brought this on?" he asks Jongin in a whisper. He needs to stop himself from thinking too much. Again. Things are going relatively well, and overthinking will just ruin everything.

Conversation is one way to stop himself from spiraling into another wave of thoughts.

"I have no idea," Jongin chuckles quietly, not wanting to disturb Jiyeon's little 'performance'. "I was just putting on music while cleaning up, then she told me to sit here and started dancing."

Taemin looks behind him towards the half-made bed, and it all makes sense, now.

"Does this mean we have to look for a place that offers dance lessons soon?" he remarks with an amused smile, making Jongin laugh with him. They're still only whispering to each other, though, because they have to at least look like they're paying attention to Jiyeon's 'dancing'.

"Do we even need to, when her Daddy is one of the best dancers in the world?" Jongin replies with a teasing grin.

Taemin shakes his head with a huff. "You're getting so full of yourself, Kim Jongin."

"Well…"

There's a change in Jongin's tone, one that makes him turn to look at his face properly. Jongin's eyebrows are arched beautifully, framing his sparkling eyes. The same handsome smile is still gracing his lips, complemented by the tinge of pink that dusts his cheek.

Jongin clears his throat and looks away, biting his lower lip. His action effectively disrupts Taemin's staring, and he finally realizes that maybe he was looking a little too intently. He just couldn't help himself.

Then, Jongin speaks again.

"What I said just now… I was actually talking about you."

Taemin stills.

And then he blinks.

And blinks again.

"Uh," is all he can voice out, as he keeps blinking, rapidly.

His face is getting warm. His cheeks are flushed red, even though there's nothing to be this flustered about. Jongin has been consistently referring to him as Jiyeon's 'Daddy Taemin' ever since the first time he said it, so he should be used to it, by now.

For a second, he judges himself for being so easy.

So much for not overthinking. With one sentence, Jongin sends him into another wave of hopeful thoughts, even though he knows that Jongin could just be saying his words casually. It wouldn't be too weird, with everything they have done and still do together.

Jongin is lucky he knows him so well. If he was anyone else, he would probably misunderstand.

He still can't help himself from wondering, though, if Jongin is saying all these things on purpose, knowing precisely how it would affect him. He doesn't want to hope for too much and get his head in the clouds, but at times Jongin's words seem to deliberate to be said unknowingly, casually, without much meaning behind them.

Besides, Jongin never says things without thinking. He always thinks before saying anything, and if  he doesn't know how to express his thoughts in words, he'll do it with his actions. Over the years, Taemin has learned how to read him, to know what he wants to say even when he doesn't say things out loud—but lately, Jongin's actions are saying something that he doesn't want to think too much about, because it is simply too frightening. He has no idea if he's reading the signs correctly, or if all the hope in his heart is clouding his judgment.

Music fills in this awkward silence the two of them have fallen into, flowing out of Jongin's phone, serving as the background to the toddler dancing in front of them. But suddenly, even the song stops playing, and for a split second, the silence gets almost unbearable.

Jiyeon becomes the one to save the situation, taking his attention away from his own musings. She stops dancing when the music stops, confused. With a very disappointed expression, she waddles towards the phone, that is lying on the floor in front of Jongin's legs. She tries to press a couple buttons on the touchscreen, but the music doesn't start playing again. She whines in frustration.

"Daddy, pway," Jiyeon holds the phone up to Jongin's face, directly invading his line of sight.

Jongin sighs, but he pulls his arm away from Taemin's shoulders, and takes the phone from her. He misses the warmth that comes from being so close to Jongin, but he doesn't mind losing it for now. He was just about to explode out of self-consciousness anyway.

"Aren't you tired yet?" Jongin asks as he starts up the song again.

Cheering, Jiyeon grabs the phone from Jongin's hands and holds it protectively, as if that will make it continue playing the music, never to stop again.

Inwardly, Taemin thanks her for existing. Her presence is such a welcome distraction to his thoughts. Every time she does something even remotely cute, he stops thinking about anything and everything.

Before she runs off to dance again, he grabs her and brings her into his arms instead.

"Are you not going to say hi to me, hmm?" he teases, poking one of Jiyeon's chubby cheeks.

Playfully, she puts on a thoughtful pout on her face, but it's not long before she lights up into a sunny smile.

"Hi, Daddy," she giggles adorably, swinging her arms around his neck and resting her cheek on his shoulder.

He ruffles her hair, laughing at her antics. "You're so cute, Jiyeonnie."

She laughs bashfully at his words, and buries her cheek further onto his shoulder, smushing it on one side. She looks a little funny, but it doesn't look like she minds. She probably doesn't even know how adorable she looks right now.

"Are you done dancing?"

At first, he thought that Jiyeon would leave after hugging him, because she is still tightly clutching onto Jongin's phone. The song is still playing, right behind his neck, sounding a little too loud, since it's so close to his ear.

"No," she answers, shaking her head, but instead of running off, she stays there, clinging onto him like a koala.

"If you're not done, why are you still hugging me, huh?"

His question only serves to make Jiyeon hug him tighter. The phone she's holding in her hand is digging into the back of his neck, and it's starting to hurt. It tickles a little too; the slight vibration coming out of the speakers making him shiver.

Thankfully, the doorbell rings, right on time.

The sound distracts Jiyeon a little bit, making her pull away to turn towards the source of the sound.

"That's probably the pizza," Jongin says, his words reminding Taemin that he's still sitting there, right next to him. He almost forgot about what just happened a few minutes back, distracted by Jiyeon, but now it's all coming back to him. He shakes it off—figuratively, of course—and forces himself not to think about it anymore.

Jongin gets up to his feet with a huff, looking down at him and pointing at Jiyeon. "Keep her distracted for a bit. I'll go get the food."

With that, Jongin disappears out the door, leaving him sitting on the bedroom floor with a toddler draped against his whole torso.

"Jiyeon-ah," he calls, to get Jiyeon's attention. She's been staring at Jongin's back as he leaves, and her eyes haven't left the door, until she turns to look at him instead. "Can you give me the phone, please? It hurts."

At that, Jiyeon's eyes turn worried. She immediately undrapes herself from him, pulling away completely.

"Daddy okay?" she asks, patting his cheek with the hand that isn't holding the phone.

She's fretting over the possibility of him being in pain. It's cute.

"Yeah, Daddy is okay," he smiles. But he still holds his hand out, repeating himself. "Can you give me the phone, please?"

She frowns