That day, I should have talked to you. Instead, I just pretended I was busy and ignored you. I decided to look away when you obviously needed help. You needed a friend.
The first day we met each other, I wasn't ready.

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"Turn off the camera for a second and explain this to me"

"We are in the middle of recor---"

"Come with me"

Heechul panicked when Leeteuk closed the door behind them. It was dark and it probably didn't fit South Korea's sanity standards. It was the first spare place Leeteuk found when he stopped the van during a recording. Super Junior TV recording.

"What were you thinking?" - Leeteuk pulled his hair - "I-- I don't want to do this... I'm not ready..."

"Hyung..."

"Don't 'hyung' me now! You know I can't show it to the world"

"Yes you can" - Heechul pouted - "But I don't care if this doesn't get broadcasted. I just wanted to go counseling... it's not for the show"

"Look" - Leeteuk placed his hands on Heechul's shoulders - "I know you mean well... but I'm not sure of this"

"Teuk... please" - Heechul looked at his friend with watery eyes - "I need this"

Maybe it was a wave of guilt or just Leeteuk's soft heart against Heechul's tears, but the eldest of the two, ended agreeing.

Heechul never believed in counseling before. However, he was too worried. He needed to try everything he could. Sometimes being desperate was everything a person needed to try new things.

"Are you going to do this too?" - Leeteuk asked while he filled his survey - "You don't need to push you--"

"I want to do it" - Heechul replied confident- "I can do it"

"Don't feel afraid to go back if you feel too pressured" - Leeteuk patted his back - "I know why you brought me here, but there is no need to suffer unnecessarily"

"I have to" - Heechul smiled - "Its my fault... I deserve this"

"Oh, no" - Leeteuk Heechul's hair - "Honey, that's not true"

"Friends support each other and I--"

"How were you going to know?" - Leeteuk smiled sweetly- "We weren't that close back then"

"I was rude..."

" 'Was'?" - Leeteuk laughed

"Shut up, Jungsoo! I'm trying to be nice"

"Mr Kim, If you can come with me please" - The secretary called

"Good luck" - Leeteuk patted Heechul's - "Don't drive her crazy"

Heechul showed him a middle finger as soon as the secretary turned to the other side. Leeteuk just laughed.

<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~

"Stop it"

"Why ?" - A young boy with pants full of pockets folded his arms - "I wont give up that easily"

"Well you should" - The boy with long hair sitting on the floor glared at him - " off"

"That's not nice, Heechul" - The boy with folded arms replied - "I'm your friend! You can tell me whatever you want"

" off, Jungsoo" - Heechul barked at him - "We just met today"

"I know! But I can feel you and I will become good friends!" - The boy called Jungsoo chirped

Heechul ignored him. He just faked he wasn't listening as he plugged some earphones. Young Leeteuk eventually went away and Heechul claimed victory. Until the boy returned.

"Here" - Jungsoo offered him a cold beverage- "Drink this, you are going to feel better. I know your head hurts~ it's too hot and you haven't had any water in a while"

Heechul looked at him confused. Why was that person being so nice to him? He didn't have time to think about it because his nervousness played him a bad joke. He tried to stood and take Jungsoo's offer but being clumsy he ended hitting the cup and the boy ended wet.

"See? I told you, Kim Heechul is like that"

"He is so mean"

"As expected from him"

Heechul blushed embarrassed. People around the halls commented the scene without knowing what actually happened. He could have bursted out his feelings or just tell the truth, but instead, he ran.

"Hey!" - Jungsoo tried to reach him before Heechul left - "Are you alright?"

Heechul did heard him, but he thought it was the best for Jungsoo to not be related with him.

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Leeteuk remembered all his life before Heechul managed to get out of the counseling session. He listened to Heechul's feelings and felt a lot better knowing that his friend was also there being brave and honest.

When the so called time came, Leeteuk entered the room knowing he wouldn't leave without crying at least twice.

Heechul, listened carefully to Leeteuk's words and cursed himself several times during the session. He knew Leeteuk needed help, he knew Leeteuk needed him. He always knew. Now, he was once again relying on someone else hoping it would heal Leeteuk's heart. He felt useless.

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"What were you thinking?!" - Heechul raged. The anesthesia had just left his body and he could feel every single inch of it hurting - "You are an idiot!"

"Excuse me? I think the real question is: Why you didn't call me?" - Leeteuk looked like if he had cried for a long time - "I thought you were going to die"

"Thanks Jungsoo, seriously" - Heechul complained - "All I wanted was to be alone! Why would you bring the kids here? Also, I know it was you, damn boy, the one that called my parents!"

"What I was supposed to do" - Leeteuk sobbed - "You ungrateful boy, do you have any idea of how much I worry ?"

"You don't have to!" - Heechul shouted back - "Who told you I needed you worrying about me? I don't need anyone! Now leave me alone!"

Heechul thought he had imagined it when it happened. When he woke up back in the hospital he knew he had screwed it up. Also, his tongue now had stitches on. He managed once to convince the doctors he was already fine enough to leave but he had fainted as soon as he walked out. As a result, now everyone was skeptical about him being right and kept pressuring him to stay in bed a few more days. Leeteuk visited him right after it happened. He was there when he woke up. Heechul was too mad at what happened he was blind enough to see Leeteuk's feelings.

"Get out" - Heechul repeated - "I already told you: I don't need you worrying about me"

"Heechul, please" - Leeteuk cried - "Take care and rest... I can't live without you"

"Of course you can" - Heechul buffed - "And stop crying I'm not worth of yours te--"

Heechul didn't expect that. Leeteuk slapped him so hard he suddenly remembered when his mom used to do it.

"Don't... ever ... say that ... again" - Leeteuk sobbed - "If I want to cry over you then it is MY problem; but risking your life is not only yours"

Heechul stared at him in awe. He didn't know what to say.

"I'm sorry" - Leeteuk apologized as he Heechul's cheeks - "I shouldn't have hit you"

"T-thanks" - Heechul said in a low voice

"Uhm? For what? I'm truly sorry, please don't hate me for this" - Leeteuk cleaned his face using a paper towel

"For everything" - Heechul said calmly- "Specially the slap. I think I really needed it"

Leeteuk looked at him disgusted and was about to scold him when Heechul smiled. It was a cute smile. Sincere, honest, not faked smile.

"Are you a masochist?" - Leeteuk teased - "Why would you smile in a moment like this?"

Heechul didnt reply. He only kept giving Leeteuk a silly smile everyday until the elder one managed to understand the reason behind it. He finally had accomplished his goal of making Heechul realize his feelings. Since then, Heechul seemed to be closer to him.

ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ

If Heechul had ever had a nightmare before, nothing was compared to the one he was living right now. It was a day that started like normal days would usually do, but ended like hell. Heechul even left his phone fell to the floor after listening to the call. He had never felt so confused in his entire life.

It was January 6. Leeteuk only had a few months left and his military service would end. He got a call from his superiors and his World gave a complete twist. His father not only had committed suicide, but had taken the innocents lives of his grandparents.

Leeteuk barely remembers what happened during the following days. He only wanted to die too. He wanted it to end. He didn't want to suffer anymore. He was too tired of living. He was battling depression even before the awful incident happened and now he was so down he felt he was never coming back from it. Everything was dark to him. Even the colorful spring flowers that came later looked gray to him.

He probably could have done something terrible if it wasn't for the people that surrounded him.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

"You drew a sun" - Heechul giggled after counseling session ended - "But I drew a moon"

"So?" - Leeteuk smiled shyly. He knew his eyes still showed crying - "I think that's cute"

"To be honest, I have always felt we are truly like that. People say we are opposites and I think everyone thinks I'm the moon while you are the sun. I always have envied that~ being a sun is way better"

"Why you think that?" - Leeteuk chuckled

"Well, the sun shines a lot and shares it lights with everyone. Also, it makes everyone warm and gives life" - Heechul explained - "I really like the fact sun has it own light and decided to share it with everyone"

"That's indeed amazing" - Leeteuk agreed - "But I like the moon the most"

"Why would you do that?" - Heechul scoffed - "Are you trying to make me feel better?"

"The moon is beautiful & mysterious. No one seems to fully understand it. It changes the way you see it but it's truly self always remain the same" - Leeteuk started- "The thing I like the most of the moon is that it appears at dark times when people needs it the most. It helps our world a lot but isn't showy like the sun~ despite we can't see it all the time: it always there"

"Sounds good if you put it like that" - Heechul giggled - "No one gives that much recognition to the moon"

"The moon is closer, the sun is always distant" - Leeteuk sighed - "I think I had rather prefer the moon than the sun"

Heechul smiled shyly. Leeteuk bit his lips.

"Sun and moon are always there. Both of them work hard and both of them are necessary. They help each other despite eclipsing themselves from time to time"

"Are we still talking about the sun and the moon?" - Heechul teased

"Sure" - Leeteuk smiled - "Let's just say the sun is happy for the fact the moon is always there"

Heechul stopped walking and blocked Leeteuk's way.

"What are you doing?" - Leeteuk laughed

"I'm eclipsing you"

"Really? I think a human eclipse would look like this"

Heechul blushed deeply when Leeteuk hugged him. He could feel his face burning.

"Teuk..."

"Shhh don't talk" - Leeteuk whispered - "This is better than therapy"

Heechul yawned. Leeteuk had been hugging him for what it felt an eternity. Leeteuk often his hair too, so he was getting sleepy.

"Are you sleepy? You look like you are going to fall asleep soon" - Leeteuk teased

"Uhmmm" - Heechul rubbed his eyes - "I guess I got too relaxed"

"Let's get inside the van. You can sleep during the ride" - Leeteuk held hands with his sleepy friend - "Don't fall asleep before we reach the car, ok?"

"I can't promise ~~" - Heechul yawned again

Minutes later, Leeteuk found himself staring at Kim Heechul instead of his phone. His friend was now in a deep sleep.

"You are good kid, Heechullie~" - Leeteuk patted Heechul's head softly - "Always taking care of me and the others ~ but you know...? Hyung also needs to take care of you. Hyung is the happiest when he is taking care of you~~"

Leeteuk made a pause and then started talking again.

"I know it was hard for you too" - Leeteuk whispered - "I just realized you probably were scared. I'm sorry"

"I should have slapped you"

"Uhm? Are you awake?" - Leeteuk smiled pleased

"Who can sleep with someone that keeps talking and touching you?" - Heechul whined - "I tried to decide between a big slap or a counseling session... since the slap worked for me I thought the session would fix you. I regret not trying the slap before "

"..."

"..."

"Do you want me to sing a lullaby for you?"

"NO!"

"I will sing it anyway"

" off, Jungsoo" - Heechul covered his ears using a small pillow

"How rude" - Leeteuk laughed - "It should be: ' off, Jungsoo Hyung' "

Heechul looked at his 9 days old Hyung and smiled.

"Fine" - Heechul cuddled in his seat - "I want the one you sang for me at the hospital... hyung"

"Alright" - Leeteuk stretched - "I will sing it for you later. There is something I want to tell you first~ "

"Ung~"

"Heechullie~ thank you" - Leeteuk smiled sweetly- "I love you"

"I love you too, Hyung" - Heechul fought his drowsiness- "I hope you get better soon"

"I'm sure I will get better soon if you stay by my side" - Leeteuk pinched Heechul's cheeks - "I'm so lucky for having my own moon"

"You have the whole galaxy for you" - Heechul giggled - "I'm not the only one that cares about you"

"How come we were awkward not long ago?" - Leeteuk wondered

"Because we are a freaking 13 years old married couple that has a lot of children"

"Right, we don't have time for ourselves" - Leeteuk chuckled

"You should take time for you" - Heechul rubbed his eyes again - "Those kids are old enough to take care of themselves"

"Oh no~ if they take of themselves ... what would I do? " - Leeteuk teased - " I think I should find a girlfriend, marry and have kids then"

"Your kids are going to be so unlucky"

"Why?" - Leeteuk worried

"You won't sing them a freaking lullaby when they request so"

"Didn't you just say you were old enough to take care of yourself?"

Heechul whined loudly. Leeteuk laughed and started singing the lullaby. The elder boy felt great. For the first time in a while, mind and heart were at ease. Since that day, Leeteuk woke up everyday knowing he wasn't alone in the world. He was thankful for the boy that was born just 9 days later. Now that the light had returned to his life, he was able to see all the people that supported him: family, friends, fans.

"I call that the triple F" - Leeteuk wrote in his diary - "Heechul has a lot of fun saying it means ' ' though... "