might regret this a little bit bc idk what im writing oopsies
whatever here it is a new chapter wew
i can't promise anything other than mediocrity B)
anyway heres a sick tune

_____________________________

“hi momo!”
“just wanted to ask when you’d be free to meet up”
“for our project :)”

“hi mina”
“it’s momo”

Momo stares at the message she’s just sent. Are you stupid? Of course she knows you’re Momo! Though it might be too late to salvage the situation, she tries anyway.

“i’m sorry”
“i don't know why I’m telling you who i am”
“you obviously already know”
“oh my god i should just stop”

“haha it’s okay :)”
“you don’t have to apologise”
“do you want to meet up at the library sometime?”

“sure?”

“when are you free?”

“um”
“I’m usually there everyday in the holidays”

“:0”
“with nayeon?”

“by myself”
“nayeon’s parents don’t let her go out a lot”
“and you probably already know”
“but i don’t have a lot of friends”
“haha”

“Why’d you tell her that? You idiot,” Momo mutters to herself, almost immediately regretting the messages after sending them.
She tosses her phone to the opposite end of the bed, closing her eyes as she sighs in frustration at herself. Mina probably won’t reply; she has better things to— The sound of a notification has Momo scrambling for her phone.

“well now you’ll have me!”
“i hope we can be friends!”

Momo feels her heart beat once, then come to a shuddering stop in its bony cage. Her hands feel cold and weak, her grip on her phone loosening.

“friends?”
“with me?”
“are you sure?”

“of course!”

Mina’s reply comes quickly. It’s as if she didn’t even have to think about it. The simple thought that Myoui Mina would even think of being friends with her is unfathomable. As she reads and rereads the text bubble on the screen it gets more and more confusing. White noise pierces her thoughts, and she not sure how, but she manages to make plans to meet with Mina at the library tomorrow.

    It doesn’t dawn on her that it could possibly be a trap (as she and Nayeon had suspected) until she’s three steps away from the library’s automatic doors. She freezes, waiting for something to happen, waiting to be jumped, for something to be thrown at her, for Minatozaki Sana to be standing somewhere, laughing cruelly as Myoui Mina and Park Jihyo stand beside her.
Instead, there is nothing.
She takes the first of the three steps; still nothing.
Upon her second step, the doors slide open smoothly.
With her third step, she’s in the air-conditioned interior of the library, untouched.
Her heart beats rapidly, thrumming in her ears as the adrenaline rushes through her. 

    She wanders around the library, a little lost, before she spots Mina, sitting alone at a table, reading.
“H-hi, Mina,” she stutters.
“Oh! Momo!” Mina smiles, putting down her book.
“S-sorry I’m late,” Momo fidgets with her fingers.
Mina shakes her head, “it’s fine! I’m just early.”
Another apology is on the tip of her tongue, but Momo stops herself. She pulls a chair out and sits, then rummages through her bag for her own novel.
“Have you started reading it yet?” Mina asks curiously.
Momo nods, “a little.”
“Me too,” Mina says softly, “I think I like it.
“Oh.”
Mina picks up her book and returns to reading. Momo looks at her for a moment, unsure if she should say something, before opening her own book and picking up where she left off. The hum of the aircon is the only noise that she can hear, until Mina speaks, her voice barely above the volume of the hum and Momo strains to catch her words.
“I like the way he writes about love,” Mina whispers, “in the beginning.”
Wordlessly, Momo flips back to the first chapter. A familiar ache arises in her chest as she reads.
“It’s like I can feel exactly what he means,” Mina mumbles.
Momo mulls over the viscerally passionate imagery of flames and fury. The ache inside only grows.
“Me too,” she mutters.

    Their first session together is quiet, and not much else. They spend most of it reading at their own pace, occasionally looking up at each other, blushing furiously as the narrative reaches its more…explicit territories. It takes them most of the day to finish reading, but they’re done by the time the library closes and they have to leave. They agree to meet again tomorrow, and to write chapter summaries for every five chapters. The library becomes a sort of haven. Mina doesn’t tell Sana where she goes everyday, and Sana doesn’t ask, writing it off as Mina’s usually apathy to leaving her house. Momo doesn’t tell Nayeon where she goes either. The library is where they meet as equals, the ridiculous politics of high school forgotten. Though it feels strange at first, for Momo, it soon becomes comfortable, more comfortable than she would have ever expected. They give each other their chapter summaries, reading and critiquing. Sometimes, Mina laughs at Momo’s little mistakes and Momo whines because Mina isn’t that much better herself. 

    Mina likes being with Momo. It’s easier than being with Jihyo and Sana, because she doesn’t have to pretend all the time, doesn’t have to live up to anyone’s expectation. With Momo, it feels like she’s become the self she’s been searching for. After only nine and a half days of hanging out with Momo as they work on their project, Mina comes to a small realisation; maybe she likes Momo a little more than she had thought previously. She notices it when Momo looks up at her with a smile.
“You’re so nice, Mina,” she laughs, and Mina feels several of her bodily functions cease abruptly, like her ability to breathe and blink, and to talk.
She’s grateful that Momo isn’t looking at her anymore when she stammers a flustered thanks. Heat blossoms on her cheeks as she replays Momo’s words in her head. She knows she’s in trouble because those four tiny words sound more precious to her than anything she’s ever received in her life. They wrap around her heart quickly and warm it like small flames and Mina thinks that, maybe this is it, the beginning of her love of truly monumental proportions. But maybe it’s too soon to say; maybe the idea of love has her giddy and dazzled. So get your head on straight and stop thinking foolish thoughts; they’re not good for anyone.

    “‘Discuss the themes of the novel’,” Mina reads from the assignment handout.
She glances at Momo, who doesn’t respond, as she reads the handout intently.
“I think…” Mina begins, “it’s about love. And loss and loneliness. And…self discovery?”
Momo stays silent.
“Momo?”
Clearing , Momo begins hesitantly, “I think it’s…a little more than just that.”
Mina looks at Momo curiously, urging her to continue.
Momo, feeling a little pressured by Mina’s eager gaze, falters, “I think it’s about, well, love…but also obsession…and—um, ambition, and the toxicity of desire…and transformation and change.”
The way Mina squints at her in disbelief makes her worry. Did she say something wrong?
“What the heck,” Mina whispers softly, her squinting now directed at the book, “how did you get all that?”
“I—sorry,” Momo mutters.
Mina shakes her head, “no! Don’t apologise when you’ve done nothing wrong, Momo!” she whines, reaching across the table to pick up Momo’s limp hand and shake it (for emphasis).
Momo blushes, embarrassed, “s-sor—” she begins, before Mina gives her a look.
“O-okay,” she exhales.
Mina smiles and squeezes her hand. Momo can’t find it in herself to look at Mina in the face, so she settles for staring at the way Mina holds onto her hand and shakes it around much like an excited child would.

    As she sits at her desk, Mina thinks a lot about what Momo said. Her analysis seemed to pale in comparison to Momo’s in terms of depth of thought and deliberation. She tries to reread the book, but her mind can’t help but to constantly drift back to the opening lines which already plague her enough. She huffs in frustration, tossing the book onto her pillow before laying her head on her desk. The beginnings of a headache creep up from the back of her neck. It would do her good to call it a day and go to sleep, but she can’t rid herself of the nagging hunger to see the book in Momo’s eyes. But still, her thoughts ebb and flow, always bringing her back to dreams of —An intense love, a veritable tornado sweeping across the plains—flattening everything in its path, tossing things up in the air, ripping them into shreds, crushing them to bits—oh dear. Perhaps, she wonders, her mind is too clouded by this ideal of love to find any other meaning buried further than the surface. She stares at the book on her pillow, a previously unnoticed detail catching her eye. She had never noticed the reflection on the satellite’s round surface—never noticed that it was in the shape of a crescent moon with a face etched into it. If she had missed that, she must have missed more than she knew. She gives up on thinking for the night. Turning the light off, she retires to her bed. The thoughts come anyway, and Mina thinks about Momo, thinks about what she said, thinks about love, and loss, and loneliness, thinks about Sumire and her monumental love; and all the while an ever persisting hum lies beneath it all, buzzing and murmuring like radio static: An intense love…veritable tornado sweeping across the plains—flattening everything in its path…tossing things…in the air…ripping them into shreds….crushing….to bits….The tornadoes intensity doesn’t abate…….blasts across the ocean…laying waste….Angkor Wat…incinerating an Indian jungle…tigers and everything…transforming…..into a Persian desert sandstorm…burying an exotic fortress city…..a sea of sand…

    In short…

    a love of truly monumental proportions…

    truly monumental proportions…

    a…love… 

    She falls asleep, one hand clasped tightly in the other, dreaming about the way Momo’s hand had felt in hers, wondering what it was she really wanted, and if she even had the faintest idea as to what it was, or what it was supposed to be.

    The morning brings the sunrise, along with small realisations. As Mina sits up, having turned off the alarm on her phone, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, she revisits the thoughts of the previous night. Liking Momo would be…unwise, to say the least. It’s not that she’s vehemently opposed to the thought of Momo as a romantic prospect, it just seems all too…too unrealistic. The first thing to consider would be the vast disparity in each of their social standings. Granted, Mina thought the grossly juvenile social hierarchies of were ridiculous, but nonetheless, she too is bound by the unwritten rules and conventions. And then there’s Sana. Sana would never accept it. There are too many things at stake here. In any case, she’s only known Momo for, what, a week? There’s no way she likes her in that way. It’s just too soon.

    “H-hi Mina,” Momo stutters, hurriedly shifting her things to clear a space for Mina at the table.
“Hey Momo,” Mina smiles, “you’re early today.”
Momo blushes and looks down at her notebook, “y-yeah.”
Then there’s a small, awkward silence, and Mina doesn’t know what to do.
“Well,” she clears , rummaging through her bag for her things, “we’re nearly done, aren’t we?”
“Huh,” Momo looks up, puzzled, “oh! Yes! We’re almost done.”
“What else do we need to do?”
“Um…we just need to…put everything together? And then we’re done.”
“Ah,” Mina feels a little saddened at the thought that their time together would be over soon.
Momo swallows, “y-yeah. Then you won’t be stuck with me anymore.”
Mina’s eyes widen, “what? Momo, what are you talking about?”
“W-well,” she flusters, “you’re only here because we got paired up right? A-and who would want to spend their vacation time doing a stupid project with me? And you’re—you’re Myoui Mina.”
A little dumbfounded, Mina soon becomes flustered too, “well—I thought—I thought we were friends.”
Momo looks at her and starts gaping like a goldfish, and Mina feels a little embarrassed.
“A-are we not? Am I just assuming things? I—I mean you don’t have to be friends with me because I’m—because I thought we were friends, it’s just that—well—I like you and I want—want to be friends with you,” she stutters.
Looking absolutely shocked, Momo says nothing, and Mina feels foolish.
“I—I’m sorry for assuming—”
“F-friends is…g-good,” Momo blurts out.
It takes little more than a seconds for Momo to bury her face in her hands, and even less time for a huge grin to break out on Mina’s face.

    They end up finishing the project that day. It’s satisfying, seeing the product of days of hard worked finally reaching completion. Mina heaves a sigh of relief at the mass of words that they’ve come up with together.
“So…I guess we’re done,” Mina hums.
“Y-yeah.”
Mina looks at the time, “it’s nearly five. We should probably go.”
“Y-yeah.”
The same awkward silence from earlier descends upon them. They start packing their things up, with Momo dropping her things constantly (as usual) and Mina pacing herself to match Momo’s speed, so that they’ll be done at the same time. The silence continues as they walk through the automatic doors of the library, until one of them breaks it.
Unexpectedly, it’s Momo.
“W-well I guess…bye?”
Mina bites her lip, unsure of what she should say, “yeah…I’ll see you at school, I guess.”
(It suddenly feels like they’re strangers again.)
Friends is good, Mina.
“Hey!” Mina calls out to Momo, who has started walking away.
Momo turns around in surprise, eyes wide, one hand pointing to herself, as if asking, ‘me?’
Mina catches up to her, “can we—can we meet up to uh—study?”
Say yes, please say yes.

    Momo says yes.

    I’ll text you um—sometime, she promises.

    It’s not exactly what Mina is hoping for, but it’s something.

    Mina’s phone vibrates through her pillow and she is jostled out of her sleep by the shock.
“Didn’t I turn on do not disturb mode…? she mutters as she turns it on to see what has disturbed her sleep.
The glaringly bright screen lets her know that it’s 3 a.m, and that Sana has messaged the group chat. The message is short, and Mina is slightly annoyed that this is what she’s woken up for:
“see u hoes at maccas”
Mina sighs and shoves her phone under her pillow, ready to go back to sleep. Just as she closes her eyes, it buzzes again. She almost screams in frustration.
“2pm sunday”

    “Finally, Myoui Mina leaves her cave,” Sana jokes as Mina joins her and Jihyo at the table they’ve been waiting at for her, drinks already ordered.
The two weeks of holidays are almost over, and the only reason Mina isn’t at the library today is because Momo promised Nayeon that they would hang out at least once, and today just happened to be the day for that.
“Hey Sana, hey Jihyo,” Mina greets.
Before Mina even sits down, Sana is already going off about how stressful the lit project has been, then segueing into a tirade about her first world problems that neither Mina nor Jihyo are actively listening to. It’s okay though, because the both of them know that Sana doesn't really care whether or not they’re listening, she just needs to let everything out once in a while, but it doesn’t hurt to humour her with an “oh my god” or a “no, really?” every so often.

    Eventually, Sana puts her life story on hold as she excuses herself to the bathroom. Mina is left with Jihyo, and the two of them sit in the relief of silence and sip on their drinks.
“Where’ve you been?” Jihyo asks.
“I’ve been—um…busy,” Mina says vaguely.
“With what, exactly?”
Mina fidgets, “that project.”
Recoiling, Jihyo squints at her, “with Hirai Momo.”
“Yeah…” Mina smiles unconsciously, forgetting herself for a moment when she thinks about the girl, “with Momo.”
She catches herself in time, but not before Jihyo has time to see the way her face softens and her smile widens when she says Momo’s name.
Mina looks at Jihyo, feeling dread in her stomach as she sees her big eyes burn with questions, “I—”
“Do you like her?!” Jihyo asks, the end of the question rising in a squeal, and Mina’s eardrums quiver dangerously.
“No! Shut up, Jihyo!” she shakes her hands furiously, trying to hush her.
Jihyo raises an eyebrow at Mina’s sudden outburst, “wow, someone’s a little defensive.”
Mina begins to panic, she needs to think up an excuse, quickly, “I—who—who do you think I am? There’s no way I could ever like someone like that. God, Momo’s worse than Nayeon. I’m only playing nice with her so that I don’t fail this dumb group project. I can’t wait for the day I never have to look at her ridiculous face again,” she scoffs, uncharacteristically like Sana.
Jihyo looks at her for a moment and Mina’s afraid that she’s been seen through until, “oh good. Sana would never let you live.”
“Yeah, she wouldn’t,” Mina repeats, letting out a silent, shaky breath, her heart sinking down to her stomach as she reminds herself about the choice she’ll to make. It will be the death of her.
“B-but…friends is fine…right?” she asks hesitantly, looking in the direction of the bathroom, just in case Sana comes back.
Jihyo gives her a look, “friends? I—well, I suppose so. But why?”
The way Jihyo frowns in disgust at the thought of Momo rubs Mina the wrong way, “she’s a nice person, Jihyo,” she huffs.
Jihyo shrugs, “well, whatever. Sana’ll have a fit though.”
“Which is why we won’t tell her, right?”
“Well I—”
“Right?” Mina hisses
“I—oh, fine,” Jihyo relents, the shifting of her eyes alerting Mina to Sana’s approaching presence.
“So Mina,” comes Sana’s high pitched voice, “tell me everything about that bumbling fool, what was it..ah! Hirai Momo!”
Mina prickles. Her jaw clenches for a split second, before she musters the fakest smile she can and regurgitates the rant she had prepared in the event that Sana ever asked about Momo. The words leave a bitter taste on her tongue and she finds herself detestable.