It was inevitable: their relationship. Yoon thinks that it was bound to happen as the attraction was instant. They were the perfect pair, like pieces of a puzzle that required no other but each other. As he laid there on the couch, watching Mino working on the latest track they had recorded, his mind wandered. He had remembered something he once read, it was absurd in many ways but he for some odd reason believed it. He’d read it so many times but it felt like maybe it could be possible. Plato came up with a theory of soul mates; in short, “humans” had four arms and legs and two heads. As a punishment from the gods, they decided to split this “human” into two so they would be miserable and ache for so long until they reunited with their lover. This theory is peculiar obviously and the most insane thing Yoon had ever read but being told this, he believed it. Was it because it gave him a sense of joy, to know that even someone like him could have a chance of happiness? Maybe it was because it was nice to believe in something, even if it was to the point of insanity. Maybe he had loved the idea of the heavens giving people such wonderful gift, the gift of true love. Either way, it was nice to have faith in a higher power that presumably controls life and love. Yoon never saw himself as a great fanatic of love nor had he ever believed in it, but his world changed when he met Mino. All of the physics laws of gravity were put to the test when his eyes met Mino’s, when his world came colliding with his world. It wandered to the first meeting of theirs and how Mino emitted such confidence in his speech and conversed with him, asking him insightful questions and trying to get to know the younger better. Yoon was oblivious and didn’t acknowledge the elder’s flirting. He thought of it as a simple gesture of being friendly so it took him by complete surprise when Mino approached him and asked him on a date. He found himself smiling at that thought; it was such a simpler time back then. He turned to his side to get a better view of Mino, admiring how hard working he was as he poured his heart and soul into the song.

When they had won the show, they never assumed anything would change. Everything would be perfect. Oh, how wrong they both were. Debuting as Winner had changed everything about them and their perfect relationship. Being idols and constantly in the public’s eye, they were warned about never showing affection and keeping their relationship behind closed doors. Yoon hated the idea of not showing affection to the man he loved more than ever, but he understood it. They public wouldn’t understand their relationship and love and it would probably cause damage to not just them, but their other members. So their dates were less, and so was their hand holding and kisses. It felt like it had been a while since they were able to go out without being scared of being caught. It was a constant worry on both ends. It killed him when Mino would flirt with one of the hosts on the show pretending like he was interested in them. He wanted to scream and shout, “This man is mine” but he couldn’t. So he would smile and nod, pretending like he was okay. Little did anyone knew, he felt his heart rip and tear in every direction possible. Those occurrences always ended up in fights back at their shared dorm, Yoon pointing out what Mino did was pointless and it was unnecessary. Yoon found himself crying when it would occur. It was love; their love was more than just real. On those days, Yoon would find himself even questioning why they were still together. Mino had his way of comforting Yoon after the breakdown he’d have. He would hug the younger tightly, rubbing his back soothingly as he left small kisses onto his forehead and whispered sweet nothings into his ears. It’d hit him then, why he was still with Mino. Why he refused to give it up.

He loved the way Mino made him happy, the way he could make Yoon laugh effortlessly. He loved the times where it felt like it was just the two of them in this world; the times where it was him and his lover and the future ahead of them. Yoon didn’t believe in love before meeting him, for love was just a mere illusion that existed in fairytales and stories but there was something about him, something different. The way he made Yoon feel, it was different. It was foreign and new. He didn’t know what to do because it was only there when he was with him; when their hands were intertwined, when Mino’s lips caressed Yoon’s skin. It was there when Mino complimented the way he looked; causing the younger’s cheeks to heat up. He hated but loved this feeling. Yoon felt like he was the only one to exist when he was with Mino, and the only one he could ever love. The names of endearment he called him caused his heart to flutter more than it should. He knew that they were meant for each other and he fell too hard for Mino to turn back. Their love might have seemed homeless but it was worth fighting for. No love would or could ever feel like that.

He envied the people who could so openly share their love and flaunt it all over. He found himself wishing he could do the same. He wanted to share the little things Mino did for him. Leave him sweet notes on his dresser; make him a cup of coffee, their simple coffee dates and just their loving pictures they took together. He wanted to be those couples who were able to kiss and hold hands in public. The ones that were able to dance the night away together and no one gave their love second thought because it was “normal”. His train of thoughts was interrupted by Mino’s deep voice. “What’s gotten you thinking so hard?” He quizzed his boyfriend. Yoon smiled and shook his head, “Nothing. Just thinking about the past. About us” He kept it brief. Mino left his seat and headed towards the couch, laying beside Yoon and holding him against his chest. “I hope it’s nothing too bad.”

Yoon turned to face Mino and offered him another smile, “It isn’t. Just reminiscing about us.” Mino returned the smile and leaned in to settle a kiss onto the younger’s plump lips. Yoon’s eyes shut as Mino’s warmth comforted his worries and put his mind at ease. Maybe, one day he could tell the world how much he loved Mino and how Mino was his Soulmate but for now, Mino’s company is all he needed and the love the elder one gave would suffice. It isn’t what he wanted but it was what he had to trade for his Idol life. He smiled to himself as he felt himself drifting and surrendering to sleep. One day, he thought. One day we will.

Secret Love Song- Little Mix