"Hey, Yoongi-- holy crap. You alright, man?"

My eyes turn to see Namjoon, my best friend whose genius never fails to forget my apartment's password lock, enter my studio apartment with a black plastic bag in his hand that smells of fried chicken and japchae. He detours to the kitchen counter and leaves the bag on top and walks straight towards me, the look of concern that I am utterly familiar with. Last night was another terrible night. Although I don't know what I look like, just with Namjoon's expression, I must look terrible.

"Seriously, did you not sleep at all?"

"I couldn't..."

"Dude, what happened to Sleep Service?"

"They just left a voice message. But, I still couldn't sleep..."

"Uhuh. Why couldn't you sleep then?"

"It's...uhm...it's"

I pause before I can even finish my sentence. How is it that until now I'm unable to voice the tragedy that befell my family?

"Hold on. Wasn't it this time last year that--"

Even without completing what he had to say, Namjoon caught on fast and just nods in response to his unfinished statement. He discontinues and sits down beside me, his arm over my shoulder and his other hand on my head giving me a few pats as if I were his pet dog. I slap his hand off my head, a slight wince I hear from him and a few seconds later a small laugh. 

"So, it's that time of the year, huh?"

"Yeah..."

"Remember that time you came to me just bawling your eyes out? You looked like such a wreck--oww!!"

Namjoon at best was trying to cheer me up with a joke but I wasn't having it. With his guard down, I pinch an area on his chest and squeeze the skin until he gave the reaction I wanted. A squeaky screech like a chipmunk would give. With the way he was talking about me, his chest had been asking for a serious hurting. A laugh bursts out while I see him groan in pain. As I laugh, a yawn follows after and my eyes turn watery. Last night was another failed effort to sleep in peace with J's lullaby on loud speaker. His voice as beautiful as it was, it couldn't stop me from having the same nightmare again. The apparition of the ugly creature kept me up all night. I tell Namjoon this and he's unable to give me any sound advice.

"Have you thought of hypnotherapy?"

"I can't even tell if you're being serious or joking anymore.."

"Okay, sorry. I worry about you, man."

"Yeah I know... thanks."

I let my body fall and lay back down on my bed with my arms spread open and chin up so I can stare at the ceiling. My body forbids me from leaving the apartment to go to work, in the hopes it will exhaust itself which will force me into slumber. But, my mind denies my body its wishes. I yell out in frustration with how my mind and body can't find order with each other. Namjoon jumps from my outburst and I can hear him voice his comment.

"Hey, maybe you can skip work today? A day off won't hurt."

"I can't... I'm leaving for Daegu in two days. I need to--"

"You can ask your co-workers to fill in, can't you? Like that Hoseok guy or maybe even the cute tall one."

"If you're that interested in Seokjin just get his damn phone number."

"Do you think I have a chance?"

Quickly, I use my arms to support and arch my back then sit halfway up in order to give an intimidating glare at Namjoon whose infatuation for my co-worker hasn't subsided. He looks back at me with his eyebrows slanted and lips pouting like a begging dog. 

"Come on. You're my wingman, Yoongi-yah. Help me get his number!"

I lie back down on the bed, at the same time I roll my eyes so Namjoon doesn't see, but he probably senses I did. 

"Fine."

There's no need for me to sit up to know that a smile has formed on Namjoon's face the moment I agreed to his whim. 

"I know I'm your wingman, Namjoon-ah, but I didn't expect to be one today."

To my surprise, after having breakfast at my apartment, my best friend had brought with him his laptop bag and planned from the start to go with me to Angel-in-us so he could do his work there. It shouldn't even surprise me. It was his motivation from the beginning to go with me to work.

"Hey, I really did plan on doing work at a cafe today. It just so happens yours is closest to where I live."

"There's a coffee shop at the ground floor of your building. Cut the bull, Joon."

I push off Namjoon to the side as he belts out a hearty laugh. A sigh escapes my mouth while I accelerate my walking speed to reach the cafe right before the clock hits seven in the morning. Namjoon naturally sits at one of the tables situated outside of Angel-in-us and places his bag on the chair beside him, bringing out his phone in the process. I, on the other hand, head towards the narrow alleyway where the backdoor of the building is located. Unlocked and slightly opened, I pull the door handle and enter. Hoseok's not yet here but Seokjin already tucking in his dress shirt in his black slacks. He looks over my shoulder and gives a smile and slight nod. I smile back but I can tell from Seokjin's reaction that there is a display of awkwardness all around my face. I walk over to my locker and think of ways to get the conversation to Seokjin's relationship status and his interests. How can I be a wingman if I don't even know what a wingman does? this...

"Something on your mind, Yoongi?"

"Huh? N-Nothing's on my mind. Nope. Not at all...Hehe."

I shut my eyes and hide behind my open locker door, a failed effort to hide away from the embarrassment. This isn't how I planned this conversation to go. My co-worker chuckles at my bumbling.

"Jin, hey... uhh... can I ask you a personal question?"

He peeps out from his locker door while he puts on the black apron over his head.

"Sure. What's up?"

"Uhh... you're... not seeing anyone, right?"

"Yoongi, I'm flattered but I just want us to be colleagues and remain professional."

"Ah! N-No! I-It's... not for me to know! My friend likes you!"

"What? Your friend?"

I immediately cover my mouth with a free hand. I shake my head and say nothing more, removing my hand from my mouth and keeping myself busy by undressing the clothes I'm currently wearing. I quickly undress and slip on my uniform's black pants and dress shirt, a neatly dressed Seokjin approaches me and holds my locker door with one hand, hovering over me with curiousity written all over his face. 

"Who's the friend that wants to know if I'm seeing someone?"

"Eh? Uhh... no one! I was kidding! Hahaha!"

"Could it be... that tall guy with the dimples? I saw you and him hang out one time at the smoking area."

"You saw us?"

"Him first actually. I was taking out the trash and he ran after seeing me."

"Oh... Namjoon-ah..."

"Is that his name? Namjoon?"

My eyes widen from shock, carelessly revealing my own friend's name and secret to the person who wasn't supposed to know any of that information. Let down by my own idiocy, I admit to Seokjin and affirm everything that's already been exposed. Namjoon's been interested in my him for a few months but had no way to find a chance to naturally exchange numbers. With this news out in the open, I expected Seokjin to dismiss it all and just turn down my friend. But, to my amazement, the opposite happens.

After our conversation ended with Seokjin leaving the back room, entering the cafe floor, and unlocking the cafe doors, he sees Namjoon sitting out front and walks towards him. I watch, from afar, the two share a few laughs and at the end, they take each other's phones and type in numbers on them. The glee painted over my best friend's face, I see that he got what he wanted. Seokjin waves goodbye and goes back inside, continuing his Opening shift duties. Namjoon is jumping up and down in joy being the stupid happy guy that he is. He got what he wanted, and I'm happy for him. But inside of me, there's an inkling of wonder if I can succeed in finding happiness like him.

One long day, normal like any other, had passed. The morning at Angel-in-us had a rush of customers come in, a blend of bitter coffee mixed with bitter people. Although the morning was ordinary, by our first break before lunch, there was a slight change in atmosphere. As if to replace the bitterness of the morning, Namjoon would come to the counter to chat with Seokjin and the two would exchange jokes and flirtations changing the bitter atmosphere to sweet. By the end of our shift and the incoming of the closing staff, I left Angel-in-us together with Seokjin and met Namjoon outside by late afternoon. The two, with not a second to spare, decide to go on their first official date. Of course, as the sole supportive best friend and official wingman there was no protest. I supported the idea which left me unaccompanied thereafter.

After the two had left, I head towards the subway to make my way to Seoul station, west from where I currently am. A fifteen-minute subway ride to Seoul station, I had planned to go there to purchase a KTX ticket to Daegu. It was a quarter to five in the afternoon. As the train stopped at each station, the crowd of people grew more as it reached Seoul station, the transportation hub and center of the city. 

This stop is Seoul Station. The door is on your right.

I hear the prompt announcement and stand up from where I sat and wait patiently near the sliding door as the train hits the break resulting in a high-pitched shrill. The door opens, a gush of air hits, and I exit. A girl with long hair passes me and hits my arm with her bag without remorse. One can hear the clacking of her heals as she runs towards the stairway in a rush. There's a desire for me to run after her to demand an apology but I let it slide. I'm used to blending into the background--an insignificant and quiet being. 

More demeaning thoughts build up in my mind as I walk slowly to the main hall. There is, every single day, a subconscious battle between my inner demons and the rest of me. I try to shake off the negative notions, aware that I mustn't let them control me. Not while I'm in public where the anxiety can seize me. Attempting to further my mind from it, I put on my earphones and hit the play button on my music. I take the escelator up from the subway station to the main hall and I enter the vast area with people all around scouring or lost. I take my own time to the ticket booth area with three counters open. The line isn't that long with about 8 people of various ages before me. A couple of songs finish playing and in no time I'm already next in line.

"Next customer please."

I walk over to the counter. Immediately I bring out my wallet to take out my debit card and she asks for my destination.

"Daegu on the seventh please."

"In two days, sir?"

"Yes."

"What time would you prefer?"

"Around ten in the morning.

As if robot-like, our conversation was quick and in just a moment I had my ticket, card and receipt handed back to me. The lady bows and asks for the next customer to approach the counter. And just like that, I return to the direction of the subway entrance and mentally plan back my return route, maybe stop by a mart before returning home. However, before even reaching the exit I hear my name being called out by a familiar voice.

"Yoongi-sshi!" ¹

I poke out my head, stretching out my neck like a meerkat searching for the person calling out my name. In seconds, an older man approaches me and slaps my arm. 

"Aigo... how can you be so blind?"

"Mister Kang, what are you doing here?"

To my surprise, my apartment landlord is also here at the station. I notice that he's holding two large plastic bags full of groceries probably from the supermarket right beside the main hall. I instinctively take both bags from his hands and we end up in a tug-of-war.

"Let me bring your bags they seem heavy."

"No no! Don't do that! I'm not some old man!"

"Please, I insist. I want to repay you for helping me yesterday."

Mister Kang is the epitome of an older man from the province - stubborn, steady and stern - but he does not lack consideration for others. He reads my expression and concedes. Satisfied with this, I return a smile and bring both heavy bags. This is going to be the most weight-lifting I'll ever do. Mister Kang then pats my back as a thank you, a move he does to echo a father.

"What brings you here, Yoongi-sshi?"

"I bought a ticket to Daegu."

"Daegu? You're from there? I'm from Busan!"

"I didn't know that, Mister Kang. I thought you were from Seoul." ²

"Son, when you live in the same place for twenty years, you get used to it. Is my Seoul accent that perfect?"

"Hehe, I was kidding, Mister Kang. I knew you were from Gyeongsan-do." ³

"Aya! This kid."

My landlord proceeds to hit me with his palm while he laughs. It's been a while that I've seen Mister Kang laugh so heartedly like this--this moment is reminiscent of a time I used to share laughs with my own father.

At the first floor of my building, I bring the grocery bags in Mister Kang's apartment placing them on top of his kitchen counter. My eyes drift off to explore the inside of my landlord's flat, sufficient light finding its way in the living room and a hint of tabacco. Decorated and clean, I look around and notice the photos hanging on the walls, plenty of him and his wife whom I've never seen before. Although, I am readily aware that Mister Kang lives alone it still sparks curiousity.

"She's been gone for five years."

"What happened, Mister Kang?"

"Cancer."

"Oh... I'm... sorry to hear that, Mister Kang."

"It's fine, kid. Life goes on. Say, thanks for helping me with my groceries. I still need to call my nephew about your equipment."

"No, please don't bother. I can just have it fixed tomorrow."

"Don't be stupid. Why have an expensive repair when my nephew can take a look?"

"But--"

"You're stubborn, you know that? Now get outta here. My nephew will come by within the week, alright?"

"Yes, sir."

I bow to Mister Kang while he waves his hand with a smile on his face. A click of the door behind me, I head to the staircase and walk up the steps. I still see the boxes from a day earlier, some still stained from the flood and emitting an odor I'm not used to. I see my music equipment--a Novation Bass Station synthesizer, 2 LG desktops and PC, and my dismembered microphone stand and pop filter--all grouped together underneath a fishing net and a piece of paper clipped onto its side with my name on it and apartment number. A grin forms as I can tell the messy handwriting to be Mister Kang's. Although everyone in my building is not a fan of my music, at least I know there's one supporter living in my building.

In silence, I stand in the center of a dark abyss that extends inifintely around me. I look down and a puddle of water ripples as each droplet of water trickle down at the tip of my feet, a reflection appears but unsure if it's even of myself. As each droplet hits the puddle, the water slowly thickens and turns into a darker muddy color. In the distance, a thundering and sinister howl rings and I look around but no one is there. The demonic scream continues, getting louder and louder making my heart race in fear. I try to run but my feet are stuck in the clay-like substance underneath my feet, keeping me from running away.

Behind me, a dark figure emerges from the shadowy abyss revealing itself to be the same monster haunting my dreams--the eye-less, nose-less, slim creature. I yell out for help and the ground vibrates. I can hear the ground make a buzzing noise and the monster becomes disoriented from the unfamiliar. The buzzing sound starts to form a rythm. My body starts to tremble and looking down at my hand, my smartphone appears out of nowhere. 

Bzz. Bzz.

My eyes shoot open and in my hand, my phone is ringing--"Sleep Service" on the screen. My mind still adrift from the dream, I answer the call with a hoarse voice.

"-ello?"

"Hyung! What happened to your voice?

"Urrhh..."

"Did you lose your voice? You didn't go karaoke all day, did you? Hehe."

I clear my throat and stretch my lips, pulling the relaxed muscles in order to sound better.

"Ahem. I just fell asleep."

"Oh no! I woke you up! I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have called you--"

"No! Don't say that!"

"But... I woke you up..."

"It's fine. I think I was having a nightmare..."

"A nightmare again? Can you tell me?"

As I recall each sequence in my dream, I can hear Jimin respond and listen intently to my story, a 'mhmm' and 'uhuh' to let me know he's hearing every word I'm saying. As I explain to him that a monster had been appearing in my dreams, there's a sense of comfort I feel from just the sounds made by his voice. No judgement or contradiction, only warmth. This is what 'J' does. 

"Do you think maybe the creepy monster you see means something? Don't dreams have meanings?"

"I guess... what would dreaming a monster even mean?"

Neither of us can decipher what dreaming a monster would bear. For as long as I can remember, I've always dreamt of it. If there were days I didn't dream of the hideous creature, I'd dream of something else--something likewise abhorrent. 

"I'm sorry you keep having nightmares..."

"Why are you sorry, J? It's not your fault."

"You must be upset with me..."

Hearing J apologize brings an ache to my chest. He doesn't have to apologize for anything but he does--demonstrating a person with a genuine heart. I bring my hand to my chest and the ache doesn't stop. I find no reason there can be for me to have a heavy feeling on my chest except that I feel guilty for having J worry about me.

I should try to ease the tension.

"Hyung, hello? Can you hear my voice?"

"You don't seem to like me, huh?"

"Eh?"

"You missed our call yesterday. So... I'm... upset."

"No! No, Hyung, don't think that! I-I'm sorry! I..."

"Hahaha! Got you, didn't I?"

"Huh? You're joking?"

"Of course! Hahaha!"

"Hyuuuung."

The high pitch whine coming from J puts a smile on my face as I can imagine the pout that comes with it. Being able to joke with him and bring down the wall, building a bridge towards a friendship somehow--this is how I think and I continue to smile.

"Yoongi-hyung, is it okay if I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Do you like music?"

"Music? Yeah, I do. I make music."

"Wow! You do?! I've always wanted to try making music!"

"Really?"

"Yeah! I sing a lot but I think making music is also fun. I envy you, hyung! I'm sure you have great taste."

Without me forementioning, such opportunity has presented itself. I didn't have to bring up music myself in order to gain J's permission to feature in my songs. J already has the same interest as I do; This will make asking him a much easier task to accomplish.

"J, it's my turn to ask a question, then."

"Okay!"

"Would you... record a song with me?"

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

1 - (name)~sshi (~씨) is a Korean honorific suffix placed at the end of a name. It's meaning is equivalent to "Mr. / Ms. / Mrs." in English.

2 - Korea has multiple dialects called saturi (사투리) which I find very interesting. The way Koreans speak in Seoul is different to how it's spoken in different regions. To give an example, you can listen to BTS rap-line song "팔도강산" which made me love saturi more. But you can also check out this video of Korean Dialects from the youtube channel The World of Dave.

3 - Gyeongsan-do is a region on the south-east side of South Korea where the cities Busan, Daegu, Ulsan, etc. are located.

AUTHOR'S COMMENTS:

I read a comment that a reader was confused about the meaning of Yoongi's dream. I will now leave the dream interpretation in the story's notes. But I will not explain it completely because you can always make an interpretation for yourself~ Have fun! ;D

A BIG HUGE THANK YOU TO ALL. MY 14 UPVOTERS, 52 CURRENT SUBSCRIBERS & 1182 VIEWS HERE ON AFF.
I'm sorry if the update took longer than expected... I worried how I'd write cause this part's kinda "boring"? I dunno ;A;
I appreciate every single view and person that likes my story. Even if you are a silent reader, know that I appreciate you viewing and bookmarking chapters. Thank you!

DREAM INTERPRETATION:

• Seeing one's reflection = that the person needs to look at themselves and reflect. 
• Muddy water = the person is wallowing in negative emotions or their thinking is unclear.
• Demonic screams = something in past is resurfacing and haunting the person
• Running away = trying to avoid an issue (but because Yoongi can not run away in the dream, there's something he can not avoid)

QUESTION OF THE DAY: Do you think J will say 'yes' to Yoongi's request? ;D