Ever since that evening, it's been like this every night. I lie awake on my bed as the clock counts down by the second for it to turn to morning. I, cold even though I’ve covered my entire body with this massive blanket, am aware of the time passing. Just… too aware. I turn to my side for a few seconds and turn again, repeating it over and over. I toss and turn knowing that I need to sleep but my body disallows. I try to hug the pillow beside me but it smells like it hasn’t been washed in weeks. I’ve even tried drinking hot tea but just burned my tongue in the process.

How long has it been since I’ve had a full eight hours done? Two maybe three months? My insomnia has gotten out of hand. I’ve already dozed off at work a few times, thankfully my boss has only caught me once. I check my phone and the home screen nearly blinds me as it displays 2:36 AM. I’m supposed to be up by six to leave for work...

“…”

The first word that comes out of my mouth after realizing I have less than four hours of sleep left. I’m well aware I shouldn’t be counting down the minutes of my sleep but what else is there to do? I’ve tried it all. My mind is still running as if it were on a marathon of thoughts.

“...what if…”

No, Yoongi… you said it yourself. Using that service will be a bigger disservice to you! It’s a scam. They just take your money and what do they do? Just talk, sing a lullaby and milk you for what you’re worth. Sleep Service is not your cup of tea, remember? You argued with Namjoon about this. Having someone call you to help you sleep isn’t the ultimate solution.

I have an internal debate for another ten minutes before the clock hits 3:00 and my hand’s already punched the numbers of the Sleep Service hotline. My phone rings. Every second that passes, my heart just beats even faster. Before my heart could burst out of my chest, someone picks up on the other end.

“Hello?”

I freeze.