Unknowingly, I've been staring at my phone for the past five minutes, waiting for the call. It's half past 10, the hour Sleep Service is supposed to call me draws closer. I'm back at my apartment after another nightmare episode happened at Namjoon's place a few hours earlier. Although I am thankful to have him attempt to find a definite fix to my insomnia and nightmares, he can be a bit behind in grasping my cues. When I said I didn't want to use the Sleep Service, I meant it. I don't even believe this is going to work. The first time I read their company's description irked me from the beginning.

Sleep Service, the first of its kind, is here to help you with your sleeping needs. A unique call center that helps clients find their perfect sleeping routine with assistance from our highly trained sandman agents.

The fact that they call their call center people 'Sandmen' humored me the moment I read it. This company couldn't have been serious. Clearly others are suffering from insomnia but they probably don't take this company seriously either... right? 

My cellphone sits right in the middle of my bed, the screen visible from where I was seated. I don't want to go near it so I continue to pace back and forth at the foot of my bed. Every few seconds, I walk and sit on the chair I placed opposite the bed. I stand again while I massage the back of my neck. The nerves are kicking in. This feels like I'm waiting for a date to call me. Why am I this nervous? 

I can't seem to give in to this situation. Namjoon means well, he truly does, but this is ridiculous. I must cancel this right now. I reach for my phone when it suddenly rings. The screen on my phone lights up while it vibrates in a beat. I slowly walk over to the phone to view the screen and it's just Kim Namjoon calling. This jerk really knows when to call at the right moment.

I grab my phone from the top of my bed and answer his call, albeit in obvious frustration.

"What is it?"

"Hey, just calling to make sure you'll actually answer your phone."

"You !"

"Hahaha! I had to check up on you! To make sure you won't bail on this now."

"...I won't..."

"You sure you weren't just about to cancel?"

"..., how do you do that?"

Namjoon laughs and hangs up after telling me good luck. Why do I need luck now? I just need some sense in me. I bring my hand to my face to massage the space between my eyes. I massage it in a circular motion in order to weaken the pain that's there. Great, now my head's throbbing in pain. It must be the stress over what's to come. So much anxiety builds up whenever I expect to receive a call. This is why it's so difficult for me to go to any job interview. Meeting people face-to-face, being looked at from the head down and being judged for every word I utter is just so nervewracking. The person who knows this well is my best friend. Thankfully, he helped me land a part-time job and he knew the manager so it wasn't a difficult process. But talking to strangers, meeting new people... this isn't how I am. How will I get through the next seven days then?

I continue to debate with myself until seconds later the cellphone in my hand starts to buzz. I hesitate but look at the screen and it's an unknown number. 

"!"

Too scared to answer, I throw my phone on the bed until I hear a thud. I overestimated my strength and my phone bounced one more time, hitting my bedside table and landing on the floor.

"Oh no no no!"

I panic and run to my phone to see if any damage has been done. Thank God. There aren't any cracks or chips. I sigh in relief but see the phone is not ringing anymore but a call timer had started and is already at 0:11. I bite my bottom lip and curse inside my head before placing the phone on my ear to answer the call.

"He-ello?"

"Hi. Are you customer Min Yoongi?"

"Uhh... yeah..."

"Nice to meet you. Hehe... it must be your first time."

"Is it... is it obvious?"

"Oh, not at all."

He giggles over his sarcasm and I end up laughing, too. This guy has a sense of humor. But wait... maybe he's making fun of me! Maybe I'm the first customer he's ever handled and he's laughing at my stupidity! Thoughts continue to shout at me, internally. I shake it off and get back to the call.

"Customer Min Yoongi, you can call me J."

"J? Just 'J'?"

"Would you like to call me another name?"

"Uhh... don't you have a real one?"

"Ah, would you like me to read you the ground rules for Sleep Service first? Since it's your first time, I can relay them to you."

"...sure... I guess..."

I hear J clear his throat and flip through a couple of pieces of paper. I observe the sounds coming from his end and it doesn't seem like he's in a call center because there's no other voice in the background. Usually, call centers are noisy at any hour of the day. However, he sounds like he's alone. Maybe he's at a home office? Maybe this is a one-man operation. Is he the owner of the company?! One theory after another comes flying by and I was so distracted, I couldn't even hear J on the other line anymore. 

"Customer Min Yoongi, did you listen to what I just said?"

"Ah... uhh... sorry..."

"You seem to have a lot on your mind."

"No no no! Ahahahaha."

"Your laugh is charming but I can tell it's not a real one. Hehe."

"C-Can you read the rules again? Just... stop teasing me please."

"Oh, I'm sorry if this is uncomfortable for you."

"No no! Uh... this... this is all just new to me."

"I can see--no, I can hear that. Don't worry. I'll help you out."

"Okay..."

J explains to me that Sleep Service was established in 2011 when a study released in 2009 showed that 22% of the Korean adult population suffered with insomnia¹. Although multiple factors could contribute to nocturnal sleep disturbances, the founder of Sleep Service wanted to alleviate some common sleep problems by providing people with a friend to talk to. Initially, the founder would have two calls a night until more people found out about it and he couldn't handle the incoming calls so he started to hire agents that he called Sandmen. At first, the company was doing well but then people used it as an inappropriate hotline. By 2015, the founder had revamped his business and created the three ground rules of Sleep Service.

One, the Sandman agent doesn't disclose their personal information for safety. This includes real name, address, and personal number.

Two, conversations will not be recorded but the time will be monitored.

Three, the customer has every right to control the flow of conversation. All information shared by the customer will not be publicized. Legal action may be taken if this rule is broken.

"Your company sounds pretty... serious."

"Yes, our boss has plenty of stories on the early years of Sleep Service."

"Really?"

"There was one time a Sandman agent was stalked by a customer. That's why rule one exists."

"I get that. How about rule number two? How sure is it that you're not recording our conversation right now?"

"Well, if this were a real call center, a supervisor would probably cut me off after saying this. ! ! Mother er!"

"Holy crap..."

"Ah, sorry! I didn't mean to say it at you. I was just--"

"Hahahaha!"

"Oh, is that your real laugh?"

"Hahaha-- ahem. Uhm. Yeah, sure."

"I like your laugh. It's nice."

I pause. Did he just... give me a compliment? Okay, it was a creepy compliment but it was one, wasn't it? 

"Thanks?"

"You don't know how to respond to compliments, do you?"

"How can you tell?"

"You question me by saying thanks in a higher tone. It shows that you think I'm joking."

"I think this entire call must be a joke."

"Hey, Customer Min Yoongi, don't say it like that. I want to help you!"

"But you don't know me!"

"I want to get to know you. Our rules state we cannot disclose our real name or address but we can talk about birthdays and age."

"Fine. How old are you, J?"

"I'm 24 years old². Born in 1995. How about you?"

"I'm 26. Two years older than you."

"Oh! Is it okay if I call you 'Hyung'³ from now on?"

"...we...just met..."

"Ah, right. I'm sorry. I don't want to be rude..."⁴

Even without words, I can tell that this guy just wants to get closer. I argue within myself that he's just doing this as part of his job but as I started talking to him, he sounds sincere to me. It might just be his way of speaking but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and let him step over the line this once. We've only got a week anyways. I won't speak to him again after that.

"It's fine. You can call me hyung if you want."

"Really? That's great! I've never had an older brother so you're my first hyung!"

"Do I get an award for that?"

"Would you like me to make you one? Hehehe."

"Thanks for the offer but that's okay."

I'm pleasantly surprised that this conversation isn't as awkward or as crazy as I thought it would be. Alright, maybe it's still a bit crazy to me but it's opened my mind a bit. As I was talking to J, I had crawled on my bed and sat down in a comfortable seated position. A couple of pillows on my back and my right arm giving support to my head as I lean against the headboard. J continues the conversation with stories of how he's always supporting his younger brother and feels jealous when his friends have older brothers to talk to and get advice from.

"Why do you want an older brother so badly?"

"Hmm... I don't know. I just always thought having someone I know who's older would guide me through life."

"Maybe you need a therapist."

"Haha! Maybe I do!"

I imagine what J looks like. Does he have long hair or short? His voice sounds friendly and soothing so his facial features are probably more on the softer side than a rough one. But it would be a total shock if his voice and face didn't match at all. What if he's a bulky body builder with a voice that can sing a ballad in tenor... like the singer Kim Jongkook. I have so many questions to ask J but I don't want to sound like I'm trying to milk information from him. Rule number one-- nothing too personal about him can be shared. 

"Yoongi-hyung, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure. Go ahead."

"If this is too personal for you, you don't need to answer."

"Haha... okay?"

"Is there a reason you have insomnia?"

I keep silent for a few seconds to ponder. J seems nice but I don't know him well enough to tell him about my nightmare. The same nightmare I've been having for nearly a year. I sleep late a lot but the insomnia worsened that one fateful evening. That night must be the reason of my insomnia but I thought I had found closure in it when I spoke with my mother. That is an incredible lie I tell myself daily. There isn't a way for me to tell J about that night. Not now anyways. Maybe never.

"I just have bad dreams. That's all."

"Really? That's it? How bad are the dreams? Like you see the face of Sadako or something?"

"Uhh... yeah... something like that..."

"Ooh. I have a solution for you!"

"What?"

"Dream of me and my voice!"

"..."

"Too much?"

"A little."

"Hehe, sorry. But let me help you sleep tonight. One of our sleep services is to sing for you."

"I don't think that's--"

"I'd really like to help you. Please try it this once. If you dislike it, I won't do it again."

I can't see his face but he is most likely pleading with his puppy dog eyes. Well, not like I would know if he'd look like that but I can imagine. I agree to him and I can hear a smile form. A couple of random sounds comes out of his mouth as a warm up. He asks if I'm ready and I tell him I'm ready as I'll ever be and he starts. A clear voice echoes over my phone. He's singing a familiar song by Charlie Puth.

He sings. He doesn't just sing but sings really well. Damn, he's such a good singer. Maybe he could sing a song I've written... no. No, that idea is stupid. I shouldn't suggest that. My music is terrible. It shouldn't ruin a perfect voice like J's. 

"How's my singing, Yoongi-hyung?"

"You're amazing."

"Thank you! Do you think it will help you to sleep tonight?"

"We can try it again and hope for the best."

"Okay. Are you lying down now?"

I adjust my body, allowing it to slowly fall downward until I lie flat onto my bed's surface. I reach out to flip the switch of my bedside lamp and my room turns dim with moonlight finding its way between the gaps of my window curtain. I tell J I'm lying down as per usual but let him know that this may not work and he shouldn't be too disappointed. Nothing's ever worked for me.

"Let me sing for you. If you do fall asleep, don't forget to dream of me."

"You're such a laugh, you know?"

"Hehe."

A giggle comes out of my mouth and I quickly cover my mouth with my free hand. The smile on my face hasn't disappeared. And this is all because of J.

"If you fall asleep, don't worry about it. Just go to sleep and if you don't respond to me in a few minutes, our call will end."

"But what if I can't sleep?"

"I'll still be here waiting."

We both just laugh at ourselves. This conversation is one I never thought I'd have.

He begins to sing again. I hear him continuing the song by Charlie Puth and his voice just resonates. Afraid that I won't hear his voice clearly, I put him on speaker mode and his voice turns fuller and fills the room completely. His voice is soft and inviting that I'm slowly drifting into deep sleep as he sings. My eyes are closed and the phone in my hands and over my chest.

His voice is gentle to the ears. I do my best to not think of the awful nightmare but I already expect the darkness, the mattress, and the blood. The scene is about to play out but J's voice comes through. His singing is helping me forget... but not quite. I want to focus on just this voice I'm hearing. I open my eyes and this is not in my room. As the music surrounds the dark room I am trapped in, the mattress is nowhere to be seen. The dark room instead has a stereo in the middle. This stereo is powered and J's voice is playing as if he were singing live on radio. I'm sitting in front of the stereo with a smile on my face. Underneath my feet, the color red surrounds me but... it's not blood... I take a whiff and it's the smell of roses. The usual fear I feel in my dream has disappeared for a while. I hear a sweet goodnight on the stereo which gives me bliss. As the music stops, I feel a tap on my shoulder. I look behind me and a young guy in white clothes is smiling down at me. I can't see his face but only a silhouette as his body is covered by the sudden ray of light above us. Is this J? That's his voice. By the aura of his presence, I feel his kindness. He reaches out his hand and says he's here to help me. I stand up and he's standing just a couple of feet in front of me. I extend my arm to hold his hand but... 

But then, the ground below me starts to rumble and I plunge into the gaping hole that suddenly appeared. The monster... is back... Oh God, it's back! I'm about to be eaten alive! The hideous creature opens its mouth and before he swallows me whole my eyes open wide and I come to.

I've returned to my room. There is no monster, stereo or roses. I sit up on my bed. The night has turned to day. I'm breathing heavily but not sweating. It's as if I've just run on a treadmill without breaking a sweat. I look to my left and my phone is still in my hand. The screen lights up as I raise it to eye level and the time is 5:42 AM. It's... It's a miracle! I was able to fall asleep for more than three hours this time! 

"I can't believe it..."

There's no one around to hear me say that but it's just incredible. Who would have thought this service would work on me? The skeptic in me has been beaten. And it was all thanks to J. He even said to dream of him. Only a laugh comes out of my mouth. This was ridiculous but the kind of ridiculous thing that I can't wait to try again tonight.

STORY NOTES:

1 - The study can be found here (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2686894/)

2 - I know the math doesn't make sense but Korean age is different from International age (how we normally count 0 from birth). Korean age is you add 1 or 2 years from your age. This is because the day you are born is not year 0 but year 1. The time in mom's womb is counted as a year. And then everyone in Korea adds 1 year to their age for the Lunar New Year. If this is just confusing, check this link for Korean age calculator (http://waegukin.com/korean-age-converter.html)

3 - Hyung 형 is the Korean word for "older brother", said by a man. If you are a girl and have an older brother, he is called an Oppa 오빠.

4 - I'm not sure about Western countries but countries in Asia have words to call people older brother or older sister even if they aren't blood-related. To explain further why Yoongi initially was uncomfortable--You would never allow a stranger to call you "older brother" if you are a customer. That's considered rude. Yoongi read the situation and decided for himself that it's okay for "J" to get comfortable and use Hyung. Yoongi is allowing a friendship to form even just temporarily :)

5 - You can use dreammoods.com to search the new meaning behind the bolded words during Yoongi's dream sequence.