*TRIGGER WARNING*

May 20,2018

Minho looked across the sky, his thoughts running tremendously in a turbulence. The thoughts, nightmares, and the pressure kept getting worse the night that passed on.

The nights. The nights were getting more and more bad… it was like he walked into hell each single night. No ounce of sleep, no sound, just silence and darkness that enveloped him into all of his past. It left his heart beating erratically, as if his heart would go under a cardiac attack at any moment in the night…

If he did go under a cardiac attack, it may have been a blessing. An end to everything. Maybe he could finally get the sleep and peace.

His father had called him in the deep night, never for a mere greeting and questioning of how he was…

It was never like that. At that, he couldn’t help but release that bitter smile.

Apparently he had to attend court under oath. Swear on his life that it wasn’t his fault, what was the truth.

Yet, he knew deep down nobody will ever believe him. Just by the stares his mother and father give him, he knows that even they want him punished for it… It was as if he was no longer the son they used to treasure when he was a mere child.

The stares all his family gives him, how people treat him now… It can be traumatizing. His heart at first would feel as if it was being jabbed repeatedly, and now it’s frozen… numb… no feeling whatsoever.

It has been years, he has gone to court for an endless number of times, and still… he is still asked to go, He knows it’s for the fact that everyone is trying to get something out of him, something that will lead to what they wish.

Releasing a sigh, his eyes glazed over the flying birds, wishing he could fly away like the creatures. Building after building, one higher than the others, he felt the closest sense of peace he could get out of from the past days.

He always came up here to get a mere sense of peace, of light… something he can’t seem to grasp. This was the closest he could get to brightness. He looked at the bottom from the edge he was standing. Minho always stood at the edge, never to do the depths of suiciding… just to get the feel of how it would be like if he actually did do it.

He said no, right now… but maybe one day he will be strong enough to end it all.

He could have stayed standing at the edge like he always does for hours… He could have released his thoughts and buried his feelings like always.

And yet he didn’t when he felt small arms wrap around his waist, slowly pulling him away from the edge.

He felt alarmed and he wanted to pull immediately away.

However, he heard the small whimper and her small whispers of no. It was her…

Sulli.

He wanted to turn to her and let her know that she shouldn’t be scared, that he was not going to do it. And that’s when it hit him… this girl actually went to the depths of going all the way up to his building to pull him away from the edge… This tall girl was probably searching for him for hours when she couldn’t find him at school.

That suddenly got his chest tight. He didn’t know how to react… She actually cared for him.

Her small tugs on his waist, pulling him away from the edge, suddenly became warm touches.

He felt warm with her embrace...something he hadn’t felt in a long time… he was always cold.

That warmth, it triggered something in him.

He suddenly felt wetness crash onto his sweater and the whimpers turned into sniffles. Sulli was crying.

“Don’t scare me like that...ever again.” She whispered. Sulli was just happy she made it in time.

It was too much. Everything Minho had jumbled within himself… All his efforts to come out here and close his emotions into his soul, all were lost and running out from him by the support this girl with pouty lips was giving him.

It had been so long but he felt a sudden wetness cross his face. Trembling hands went up to his face and he got his answer… tears.

He was crying. And it all came to him.

Tear after tear, he felt them all crash down and his shoulders began to tremble. A weeping sob erupted from his mouth, all coming out.

And Sulli only tightened her hold onto him, she always knew the feeling of being lonely. It was like being empty and secluded from the world. She was always alone, so she couldn’t offer much advice or words, she was afraid of screwing up. All she could do was offer her arms around him and her heart bursting in flames… she had never felt this… being solemn for so many years she felt the feeling of being empty, as if you’re in a locked white room the whole time… but this feeling… it was raw, as if her heart was endlessly bleeding.

Minho felt weird… he felt vulnerable, he couldn’t help it. This warmth, it opened all of him. He couldn’t help himself, his body begged for it.

Sulli felt herself slightly stiffen when her small hands felt Minho’s large palm come over them and grip one of them tightly, grasping for her warmth and her embrace… she felt a sudden closeness to him, like he was begging for her support.

Sulli placed her head on his back, trying to soothe the shake of his shoulders when she heard his cracking voice speak in anxious breaths.

“I… I didn’t kill her.”