I miss her so much. These past few days were a roller coaster of emotions for me. Finally, I signed contract with UTA, one of biggest talent company in the U.S., then I will be attending Cannes in few more days to come. I should be happy, but I am not. I miss her a lot.

 

(Start of Flashback)

 

“Are you cheating on me, AGAIN, Yuri”, I accused her as soon she step-in in my room. Her supposed to be happy face was replaced by a frown.

 

“I never cheat on you”, she deadpanned my accusations and kissed briefly my lips. “What is your problem?” she added while sitting beside me.

 

“Why you kept having outings with her? You just had dinner with her last night”, I frankly told her my frustration.

 

“I told you, Juran and I are just friends”, she agitatedly defended herself.

 

“But, she loves you. If you kept going out with her, you are only giving her false hope, or maybe you actually giving her hope.” I accused more. I don’t know what is happening in me, but I am definitely jealous and I am getting out of control of it.

 

“Oh my, Sica. You are being paranoid. Better I leave now. Talk to me when you are on yourself. Okay”, she looked at me with understanding eyes, she stood up and ready to leave.

 

“You are avoiding me now. Why? Does she gave you better attention than I do? Tell me, Yuri. Do you still love me?” I asked her, looking deeply in her eyes.

 

“Why are we having this conversation over and over again?” instead she asked back. “What kind of proof you still need from me.”

 

“I am trying to be the best supportive partner for you. I would even understand all your stress. I never questioned you with your business partner. But, questioning my love for you, again and again, that is too much. What do you want, Sica?” she asked me, still standing by the bed.

 

“Why don’t you answer my question?” still my stubborn self would not back down.

 

“You are picking nonsense fight with me. You are stressed about what?” she asked and looked deeply into me.

 

“You are my stress”, I accidentally blurted out and you suddenly looked tired.

 

“Are they still pressuring you to break up with me?” you easily asked and pointed out. I did not answer her and kept quiet.

 

“Then, let’s break up. I have thought about this, and maybe, it’s about time we go separate ways. I am letting you go. You are going for Hollywood and I don’t want to be a hindrance. And, I know they are pressuring you about us. ” she smiled sadly on me and I could not utter any words. My words just stuck in my throat. I would like to protest but I could not think straight.

 

“I’m sorry”, I said after a while. She was surprised with my words but nodded with understanding after. She held my face and kissed my forehead.

 

“Goodbye, Jessica. Always take care of yourself.” She said after her lingering kissed on my forehead. Then, she left without looking back. I wanted to stop her but my voice was blocked out of my throat, and I left crying after.

 

(End of Flashback)

 

It has been a while since I last saw her. We usually would not let the week passed of not seeing each other. I tried to contact her phone but she could not be reached. I asked her Oppa, he said she was overseas. Indeed, she was overseas as I confirmed with Yoona. But, after two weeks, I asked them again. They were told that we broke up. I was stunned for a moment. So, she really broke up with me. Fine, let see who will give up first. My pride just went up high as Mt. Everest. Our families and friends were so used to our fights and break up news, and did not actually worried them anymore.

 

“Unnie, when was the last time you talk to Yuri-Unnie?” Krystal casually asked me. I stopped eating and looked at her.

 

“Why?” I carelessly asked back. She shown me a picture of Yuri and Juran, as the former was holding a puppy. My breath hitched and held in my pending cries, not in front of my dongseng.

 

“They are just friends”, I casually replied and went back to eating. I could feel that she is staring at me but did not say anything. We continued our dinner without any more words spoken on the table.

 

As soon I am in the comfort of my room, I immediately call Yuri. But, still can’t be reached. I called Oppa, and he said that Yuri was overseas for photo shoot. I did not know she has photo shoot overseas. Ohh, I just realized that we have not talked for months already. I was too busy to notice and too prideful to admit, that perhaps our break up this time is for real. I was startled when I saw her calling me. I smiled widely and answered the phone.

 

“Hmm, Yuri-ah?” I stopped myself from squealing and asked her with my monotone voice.

 

“Hi, Sica. Oppa called me that you are trying to call me but can’t be reached. My phone was out of battery and we just arrived now here in the hotel. Anyways, congratulations on your signed with UTA. You deserve it.” She happily said.

 

“Yuri-ah, are you ready? Let’s go before they devour all the food”, I heard a voice-sound-familiar talking to her.

 

“Wait on Juran, I am coming, don’t leave me”, I faintly heard she said. Maybe she is trying to cover the phone for me not to hear.

 

“Hello, Sica. I need to go. Congratulations again. Bye.” She hurriedly ended the call and my tears flown out. I suddenly miss her so much.

 

I am on my way to her apartment to share my good news of attending Cannes Film Festival. But, I saw her with Juran again, happily talking about something. They are going out of the building and I immediately went to her.

 

“Yuri, we need to talk, now.” I demanded to her and proceeded on the elevator, waiting for her. I saw her heaved a sigh and hugged Juran. My heart constricted in pain as Juran gave her a pat on the back and push her to go. Does she move on that fast?

 

“What do you want to talk about? I have to be somewhere else.” She asked as soon we set our foot on her apartment. Thankfully, nobody is home.

 

“Are you really breaking up with me?” I asked her seriously. I was about to say more when she interfered.

 

“We had talked about this already. It is for the best, best for your career most.” She immediately said.

 

“Let’s not be harder on this. Don’t you think it’s not hard for me, but it’s hard but I am moving-on. And, I hope you are too.” She looked at me, tearing up.

 

“Why is it easy for you to give up now? Is it because of Juran?” I accused her. I was so used being soothed and pampered in our relationship and I honestly don’t know how I will tell how much I still love and want her.

 

“Don’t you love me anymore? Do you love her now?” I frustrated asked her and I cried when she did not answer me.

 

“Krystal, where are you?” I heard her say and I saw her on the phone. “Please fetch your sister here in my apartment now.” She added and I cried more. “Thank you.”

 

“I miss you. I love you, Yuri. I still love you. Please don’t break up with me.” I held her hand and caressed it on face. “Please.”

 

She took her hand and did not say a word. I just cried and cried. Few minutes later, Krystal came and looked pitiful at me. Yuri left us after with only “Krystal, take care of your sister. I will go ahead first.” And, that was the last time I heard and saw her.